The Alpha's Concubine (Historical Shifter Romance) (39 page)

Once Netya began settling back into the familiar routine, she realised that a glimmer of respect had awoken in her for the den mother.

—
30—

The Spirit World

When Adel was satisfied that her apprentice could reliably identify all of the herbs the seers used on a regular basis, she allowed Netya to begin running errands for the others. She was still not permitted to take on any of a seer's duties by herself, but at the very least the new stage of her training kept her outside of Adel's chamber more often than not. She continued learning her herbs, moving on to their varied uses along with where and how to gather them, and several times the den mother took her out foraging specifically to search for the plants she had spent the last few weeks learning about.

The rest of her time was spent gathering and preparing things for the other seers when they needed them. Her duties were mainly to the elders, who preferred to stay in their comfortable dwellings within the cave while Netya scurried off to fetch them everything from measures of dried herbs, to warm meals and coals for their fires. It did not leave her feeling especially important, and her superiors were quick to let her know every time she made a mistake or took too long in getting them what they needed, but it was something.

Still, Netya realised, she was learning. In helping the others, she found herself naturally observing the ways in which they prepared certain remedies and mixtures that allowed them to commune more closely with the spirits. When the hunters came back with injuries that needed treating, she learned which needles and animal sinews were best for sewing up different types of wounds, and how the type and quantity of medicine used to dull the pain of a small woman differed from that required by a large man. Wolves too, she learned, took differently to most treatments than people did. It was rare that the seers sought to sooth the ailments of their brethren while they were in their animal forms, but there were a few specific remedies that required it.

All of the small examples she noticed during the course of her errands helped reinforce what Adel was teaching her, and Netya found that she picked up on the practical uses of plants more quickly than learning how to name and identify them.

Her apprenticeship was still exhausting, especially when she had to run up and down from the river fetching water for her impatient superiors several times a day, but seeing how her knowledge might one day be put into practice helped spur her on.

She looked at the necklace Caspian had made for her often, tracing her fingers over the symbol carved into the front as she thought of him. He never mentioned it to her, but, the first time he saw her wearing it, the smile it brought to his lips warmed Netya's thoughts all day. When the others asked her what the symbol on the necklace was, some thought it silly, as she had at first, but to her it would always be a source of pride, just like her spear.

Unfortunately, there was little time for her to enjoy herself with her friends. Even her relaxing walks with Fern and Erech became few and far between, and she had little energy left to do anything but eat and sleep in the evenings once she was permitted to leave the seers' cave. The taxing extent of her duties was not lost on the others, and she was frequently reminded —particularly by those who disliked Adel—that she was being pushed far harder than was usual for most apprentices.

The kindly elders she used to sit with in the mornings often encouraged her to rest more, to eat, to stay a while and talk with them, while Vaya and her ilk shook their heads in contempt, bemused at how she could allow herself to be made such a slave to the den mother.

Had it not been for the way she found Adel the morning after she helped Essie, Netya might have objected to the relentless chores too. Stubbornness and a desire to prove herself could only go so far, but a small part of her was starting to believe that there was more to Adel than the harsh exterior she presented to the world. She wanted to believe that her training would bear fruit, and the tiny glimmer of faith she had in her mentor's wisdom was enough to keep her going.

A few days before Khelt was due to arrive back with the group that had gone to the North People, Adel told Netya that the time had come for her to begin learning the ways of the spirits. Healing and medicine were only one half of a seer's duties, and they could be learned by most who had the dedication and sharpness of mind. Communing with the spirits, however, was a secret wisdom destined only for a select few. It was this, the other seers told her, that would truly test whether she was suited to their calling or not.

Adel instructed her to rest well, giving her until noon to prepare herself before they embarked upon the next pivotal moment in her training. Netya was unsure of how she was supposed to ready herself for something she had so little understanding of. The spirits were as much of a mystery to her as they had ever been, and from the moment she woke shortly after dawn the mounting sense of apprehension in her stomach refused to let go. She lay in her furs for a long time, watching the light grow brighter through the tent walls, until as last her restless thoughts became too much, and she went down to the river to bathe.

Netya's nervous energy hummed beneath her skin all day, and despite Adel's instructions she took her spear down to the plains to practice for several hours, allowing the familiar burn of exertion to calm her down. Once the sun was nearly at its zenith, she returned to the seers' cave, steadied herself with a few long breaths, and made her way to the den mother's chamber.

Adel was waiting for her in the dim light of her sanctuary, the overhead covers closed and only the eerie glow of a few lamps to illuminate her. She greeted Netya with her customary coldness, and motioned for her to sit.

"Today you will make your first journey into the spirit world," she said. "I will be here to help guide you, but I cannot follow once your mind slips away from your body. Every seer must learn to face the spirits on her own."

Netya knelt down on a woven mat in front of the den mother. Today, the slab between them was occupied by only a small bowl of nut meal, a knife, and a wooden jar sealed with wax.

"Will it be like what I see in my dreams?" she asked.

"No. When you sleep, your spirit comes loose from your mind and drifts through the world from which it was born. Nothing in your dreams seems amiss, because your spirit knows that place, and it is content there. When you journey into the spirit world of your own accord, you will be taking your waking mind to a place where only spirits were meant to walk."

"What must I do there?"

Adel picked up the knife and began cutting the wax away from the jar. "Endure, and pay heed to what the spirits show you. I told you when you began your apprenticeship that only seers can draw meaning from visions. It will be many years before you master such a skill, but you will begin learning today. Remember what I told you. Visions are not premonitions of the future. At least, not in the way the other seers describe them."

"I still do not understand what you mean by this," Netya said. "How am I to use my visions if not to glimpse things only the spirits can see?"

Adel paused half way through her cutting, as if the answer to Netya's question was more complex than she felt able to explain. "Try to think of visions not as flashes of wisdom, but as remedies to help those around you, like the plants we use. Their meaning may not always be clear, and many will prove useless, but the time will come when a person approaches you in need of aid, and you will be able to use what you have seen in the spirit world to help them."

Netya's brow knotted in confusion. "How can visions be like medicine?"

"They are medicine of the mind and spirit, not of the body. I cannot expect you to understand yet, but you will learn in time. There are many ailments that only the reassurance of the spirits can heal." She resumed her cutting, peeling back the wax a small piece at a time. "You remember when Erech was injured? He is your friend, is he not?"

Netya bobbed her head.

"He came to speak with me not long after he recovered," Adel continued. "His body was mending, but his spirit was still broken. I am sure you noticed it too."

"It was very hard for him," Netya said.

"He begged for me to seek out a vision for him. He needed to know whether he would ever hunt again, and I could see how desperate he was for the spirits to sooth his fears."

Netya perked up, her own curiosity aroused. "Did the spirits tell you his leg would heal?"

Adel gave her a long, hard look. Her icy eyes held a sincerity that compelled Netya to consider what the den mother said next carefully. "If they had not, do you think it would have done Erech any good for me to tell him?"

Netya frowned again. "But if the spirits revealed his future to you, you should have told him the truth."

"And what is the truth, Netya? How many visions have you heard told that never come to pass? There is no more truth in visions than what we make of them. If I had seen Erech as a crippled old man in my dreams, would it have helped him for me to speak of it, knowing it might never come to pass?"

The den mother's words clawed at Netya uncomfortably. This was not how the other seers interpreted visions at all. "Are you saying you did not tell Erech the truth?"

"No. I have never lied about what the spirits have shown me. A few weeks before Erech came to me, I saw a vision of a young man running, so that was the vision I chose to recount to him."

"So the spirits did show you he would recover!"

Adel shook her head with a sigh of impatience. "Listen to my words. I saw a vision of a young man running. I do not know who he was. I do not know whether it was a glimpse of the past, the future, or of someone far, far away. But I described it to Erech, and it was enough to give him hope. Whether my vision was meant for him or not, it helped to mend the part of him that was ready to give in to despair. That is the true power a seer is able to wield, Netya. We can give hope where none exists. We can guide people to make the choices that lead them to peace and happiness. We must not boast of our premonitions without thought of what they might mean. We must keep them a secret, and know which visions to gift to those who need them most."

The implications of what Adel was saying weighed heavily on Netya. More than ever, she felt the duties of a seer bearing down on her, and they seemed almost enough to make her buckle. "How will I know which visions to share? What if I share one that ends up hurting the person I recount it to?"

"These are the things you must learn in the years to come. The alpha thinks I care so little for the people of this pack, but I have been watching them for years. When they confide in me and my seers, I listen to all the things they say, and all the things they do not. I think long and hard on what they need, and I search the spirit world for the best answers I can find. It is a great burden that takes much courage to bear, but it is through learning this wisdom that a woman may become a great seer. Greater than any of those born into this pack and their way of thinking."

"I do not know if I can," Netya said quietly.

"Then leave my cave and go back to the alpha's bed, if that is the only role you feel suited for."

Netya glared at her mentor, and a rare smile lit Adel's lips in response. She finished cutting away the wax and tilted the jar on its side, tapping it against the slab until a few small berries rolled out. They were not a fruit that was familiar to Netya from her recent studies, but she recognised them all the same, and her heart beat a little faster.

"These are nightwood berries," Adel said. "The hunters gather them for me from the edges of your forest. Perhaps you know what they are used for?"

"I was told never to touch them," Netya replied. They were not called nightwood berries in her tongue, but she knew how dangerous they could be. She remembered vividly the time a young boy from her village had eaten some, and how it had taken a dose of an equally powerful poison to burn the sickness from his body.

"More than a few can kill a person," Adel said. "I suspect for your kind it takes even less. If they are handled carefully, however, they are the most potent way we know of glimpsing the spirit world." She took a single berry and placed it into the bowl, grinding it to pulp with the heel of her knife, until its poison had mixed with the nut meal and stained it dark. "Eat slowly, and stop once you feel your visions approaching." She handed her apprentice the bowl, then moved the slab aside and set the knife down far out of reach.

Netya put a trembling finger into the meal and scooped a tiny amount into her mouth. It tasted horribly bitter, but it did not make her mouth burn as she had feared. Adel turned her around so that she was facing the cave's entrance, then sat behind her and placed her hands on Netya's shoulders.

"When you slip into the spirit world, remember that nothing you experience there can hurt you. You may see things that are terrifying, and they will seem so real that they drive reason from your mind. Allow the fear to come, and accept it. There is no point in trying to fight the spirits or run from them. I will be here with you, and I will ensure no harm comes to your body, but your mind must be prepared for the rest."

"What will I see?" Netya whispered, forcing herself to bring another mouthful of the nut meal to her lips.

"I cannot say for certain, but the spirits of the animals who once wore the pelts in this chamber will likely try to speak with you. They come to me often, and that is why I keep them close."