The Agreement (An Indecent Proposal) (6 page)

“I am. I want to do this.” I let my hands trail back down
his thighs, but his fingers clasped around my hand, stopping me.

“No, Laurie. Not now.”

Oh God, I had never seen so much passion in his eyes. So
much contradiction. And self-control. He wanted to rip off my clothes and get
it done there and then, and yet I could see the hesitation, the desire, the
fear. I could see it all. And yet he didn’t let me finish what I had started.
Didn’t let me have the pleasure of seeing him come, like he did it with me. The
thought made me so angry I stormed out of the car, slamming the door behind me.
My pulse was racing. Inside I was fuming. If he had just let me, I could have
given him pleasure.

I balled my hands to fists as I stared at the horizon,
ignoring his presence behind me.

“What stopped you?” I asked, staring at the sky, not even
trying to hide the disappointment oozing from my voice.

“You,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He placed a
finger beneath my chin and lifted it up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I like
you too much, Laurie. What you did, touching me, taking me into your
mouth“—he paused—“it’s a sure way to make me lose control. I don’t
want that until I know for sure that you’re ready and that we have the right
place.”

Slowly, he leaned forward, kissing me, wrapping his arms
around me until my anger began to ebb away.

“All right,” I whispered, my heart beating frantically
against my chest. “Let’s do it today. At your place.”

He didn’t reply. Did he even hear my suggestion?

I searched his gaze and frowned. He seemed distracted, his
eyes alert and his body tense.

“We have to go.” His voice carried a hint of urgency. “A
patrol car’s coming.”

I followed his line of vision toward the road, but Chase
motioned me to return to the front seat.

“What about my panties?” I scanned the floor in search for
them, unsure how I could have misplaced them. My mind was a complete mess.

“Leave them. We have no time, Laurie.”

“Okay,” I said, straightening my clothes. Within seconds I
was back in the front passenger seat. Chase started the engine, then pulled
back onto the highway. Like predicted, an LAPD patrol car drove past, but we
were already back on the road and picking up speed.

“I feel like I’m fifteen all over again.” He laughed, eyeing
me sideways.

“You did things like these at fifteen?”

He shrugged, as though that was supposed to explain
everything. “I’m a guy.”

And a sexy one at that. I bet the girls in high school were
all over him. Someone like him probably had many women lining up. And judging
from the mirrors in his bedroom and his talented tongue, lots of experience.

As if he sensed my thoughts, his hand touched mine. “What,
Laurie?”

“Nothing,” I whispered, which was kind of a lie. To admit what
I was thinking, that I felt jealousy at the thought of him having others, was
wrong. I had no right to feel that way. Chase might have been the first who
touched me and taught me how to pleasure a man, but he didn’t belong to me.

“You look tired,” Chase whispered. “I’m taking you home.”

I opened my mouth to protest but stopped. Maybe it was for
the better.

“Sure. It’s late anyway,” I said, having a hard time
controlling the disappointment pouring through me. It didn’t make sense. Why
did I want to please him so much just because he had changed my mind about sex?

Because you enjoyed
it, Hanson, and you want him.

Stupid, stupid mind.

I shook my head, annoyed with myself.

Throughout the ride Chase entertained me with stories about
all the things he had experienced in his career as an actor. I listened, half
interested and half distracted by the longing inside me.

The car came to a screeching halt outside the apartment
building. A look at my watch told me it was almost three a.m. The lights in
Jude’s bedroom were out. She was most certainly at home, and would be great
company even if I woke her in the middle of the night. Yet I could barely bring
myself to leave Chase—the one person who had made me feel so confused
about our sexual encounter. I wanted to get down and dirty with him, if only to
stifle the heat inside me. So, naturally, I wondered how Chase could remain so
composed and easygoing, as if nothing had happened between us.

“Here we are,” Chase said.

“Thanks for tonight.” I avoided his gaze, not sure whether I
was thankful for him saving me, or the time we had together.

“I enjoyed my time with you.” His voice was low, his tone
filled with the usual undercurrents implying so much more than he’d just said.

“So did I.”

For a moment silence ensued. It was bearable, almost
welcome. I scanned the dark windows of our building. Everyone was either tucked
in for the night, or had gone out. Except for the faint noise of traffic
carrying over, everything was quiet. If we waited up an hour, Chase and I could
watch the sunrise. Only I wasn’t sure I could just sit there, without touching
him, without begging him to take me back to his apartment. I almost dreaded
entering my empty bedroom and getting engulfed in the thoughts I knew would
start off like this:

Did I do something wrong that made him pull away? Was I
making a mistake by wanting to get involved with him? When had my feelings for
him become all muddled? What were his thoughts on me? How could I ever repay him
for his help? And what would happen when it was over?

At last Chase sighed, disrupting my inner monologue and
drawing my attention back to him.

“Laurie, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he
started hesitantly. “How come a beautiful woman like you is still virgin?”

I flushed at his sudden bluntness. No one had ever asked me
that, because it had never been a big deal before.

“There was never a right time.”

Or a right guy.

“How come?”

I bit my suddenly parched lips, considering my words. “It’s
been three years since I last visited Waterfront Gardens. My life before…it was
very different compared to now. I wasn’t happy. I always felt something was
missing. When I moved to L.A. I hoped that I could find it. So I focused on
college and career, or lack thereof.” I shook my head, grimacing. “All my life
I had been dependent on Clint. L.A. was my first real chance to stand on my own
feet and find myself. Get rid of my depression. Make something out of myself.
You know, find a purpose in life.”

“So you haven’t dated before?”

Before?

Before now?

Before him?

Was I putting words in his mouth again?

I took my time answering his question. “I did, but…” I
looked up and drew a long breath, letting it out slowly. “It didn’t go well. I
didn’t feel safe.”

“Because you were scared of getting hurt?”

The truth was worse. So much worse. I shook my head slowly.

“No, because the last time I did, someone got killed.” My
breath shuddered as I remembered
his
face before he died. “I’m sorry. I don’t really want to talk about it. Please
don’t ask.”

“I would never push you.” He frowned. His hand curled around
mine. “Laurie, about today.” His eyes locked on me gently. “I’m sorry I pushed
you away. I know you wanted more, but you deserve your first time to be
special. You waited so long for it to happen. I didn’t want to ruin it by doing
it on a backseat.”

He was right, of course. A car, even one as big as the one I
was sitting in, wasn’t the place I’d always imagined.

But the way he said it, caring so much about it, made my
body want him even more.

“So, what are you suggesting? That we go somewhere else?” I
narrowed my eyes, reading between the lines.

His gaze softened. Slowly, his lips curled into the most
dazzling smile, sending another wave of want through me.

Oh God.

Those dimples.

“Sometime, someplace, yes.” He winked. “That is, if you
still want me to be your first.” His brows shot up in mock confusion.

I blushed hard and turned my head away shyly, deliberately
choosing to keep him in the dark, even though I had been so straightforward I
might just as well have written ‘I want you to fuck me’ across my forehead.

The promise lingered in the air, so heavy I could almost
touch it, and yet so far away. I wanted to come hard around his talented
fingers, and yet it didn’t seem like I’d ever experience any part of him inside
me ever again.

He was like a dream: so real, and yet so surreal.

“I’d better go. It’s getting late.” I pointed at the
backseat. “Have you seen my panties?”

The memory that I still had them on while getting all hot
and frisky with him was vivid in my mind. After that, all became a delicious
blur.

“Sure, I have.”

I felt myself melting at the beautiful smile lighting up his
face. For a moment, he seemed so young, so carefree; my fingers itched to pull
him to me and kiss him just to see what would happen.

With a sudden move, his hand slid under the seat, and he
held up my panties, dangling from his finger. I reached up to grab them, but he
was faster at moving them out of my reach. “I’m keeping those as payment.”

I blinked, confused. “As payment for what?”

“For making my right hand ache for a week.” He stuffed them
inside his pocket with a pleased expression and then turned to me again. “Ready
to go home and tell Jude all our dirty secrets, or whatever you girls like
doing?”

“Ha. Ha. I see your sense of humor hasn’t left you. Good
night, Chase.” Smirking, I grabbed my bag and opened the door, but his hand
curled around my upper arm, stopping me.

“That’s not the only thing that hasn’t left me. I still like
you…a lot.” Without another word, he leaned forward and gave me a short kiss on
my mouth, and then whispered, “Good night, Laurie. Call me if you need
anything.”

I stepped out of the car, my mind spinning. He was gone the
moment I reached our apartment building and had let myself inside. Hugging my
body, I stood behind the glass, scanning the street, suddenly uneasy.

Even though the street was dark and deserted, I felt
watched.

A shudder ran down my spine as I imagined someone lurking in
the shadows, which I attributed to the fact that I didn’t like to be on my own
just as much as I didn’t like to involve Chase in the mess that was my life.
But I was doing just that. The realization that one of us would get hurt
eventually sent another shiver through me.

Eventually, I headed upstairs and let myself into our
apartment. The moment the door closed behind me, I exhaled a breath of relief,
happy that I was back home and could finally process my thoughts.

Only eighteen days to go.

I couldn’t wait to get married.

I stopped in mid-thought. That hadn’t come out right.
Obviously, I didn’t want to get married per se. I just hoped that by marrying,
everything—the threat, my fears, my questions, the constant feeling of
being observed—would go away. More importantly, I had a feeling that the
sole reason Chase wanted to wait was to make sure I didn’t feel like I owed him
for him helping me, even though he couldn’t be further from the truth.

I wanted to be with him—more than anything. And not
just as friends.

Sex wouldn’t do it anymore.

I wanted to be more than someone he slept with.

I wanted
him
.

I wanted him to date me without all the challenges present
in my life. Without being fake-married to me. Jude was right. My best friend
had found a guy who wasn’t just interested in helping me; he was also
interested in me. Someone who might want to have a real relationship at some
point. Only I wouldn’t find out how real it was until this fake-marriage thing
was over and we were divorced, free and ready to test how serious Chase
was—a risk I was willing to take, if only to find out if his eyes were as
true as his words.

If only I could control my urges around him.

Eighteen days. Of
planning. Of pretending to be a loved-up couple, committed for life.

Once I reached my bedroom, I switched on the lights and
closed the door. Then I threw my bag on the floor and let myself sink into my
bed, ignoring the strange throbbing between my legs.

It felt strange to be back home after tonight’s
events—almost as if I had left a part of my old self behind with Chase.
Only a few weeks ago, I didn’t care much about my lack of experience when it
came to sex. Maybe because I hadn’t known how soft Chase’s lips were or how
much pleasure his presence could cause me. Now I seemed obsessed. My thoughts
kept circling around him, recalling every hour we spent together, every glance
he gave me, every stroke, every nuance of him, even his scent.

My heart kept wishing that it’d all work out.

All traces of my innocence were gone, replaced with longing
to get to know Chase and a strong need to experience a new level of intimacy
with him. He had stirred something deep inside me. It was so much more than
desire or sexual longing. It was a wish to keep him long after we had signed
the deal.

Only, I was too afraid of this whole marriage thing. Even
though Chase wouldn’t be married to me for real, he might still be feeling he
had to run once things became serious.

Kicking off my shoes, I stared at the reflection in the
mirror opposite my bed, wondering how I would deal with Chase’s rejection once
he realized just how attracted I was to him.

My phone pinged, the distracting noise echoing through the
silence. I fished it out of my bag and took a deep breath before reading
Chase’s text.

What are you doing
now? I hope you wear something short and sexy, preferably something with your
sweet pussy on display.

I laughed as my fingers began to type fast.

Getting ready for sleep. And no, I wasn’t
planning on wearing anything. It’s too hot in here.

I sat back, a grin on my face. A minute later, another
message pinged back.

Damn. I wish I’d asked
if you want to stay over. Can I pick you up in five min and we try again? I
have a really big bed, waiting to be shared. Or so I’ve been told.

I stared at Chase’s message. He couldn’t be serious. Pick me
up at four a.m.? No chance, even though I had to admit the offer was tempting.
Biting my lip, I crossed my legs under me and typed a new message.

Nice try but sorry, the ship has sailed.
Remember our rules: never after midnight. And just to be clear, I expect my
panties back. There’s no way in hell you’re keeping them.

Sleep panties! Sorry, I meant sleep tight.

A few breaths later my phone pinged again.

What panties? I think I might have lost
them. No worries. I’ll gladly buy you a whole drawer of them and watch you try
them all on. I’ll even help you pull them down.

My breath hitched as my core clenched with delicious
anticipation.

Won’t happen. Unless we call the whole thing
off or get divorced.

Before he could continue our little game, I turned off my
phone and crept under the covers with a huge smile on my face that I knew
wouldn’t vanish for a long time. Closing my eyes, I begged sleep to come. When
it finally did, Chase’s face haunted my dreams.