The Admirer's Secret (15 page)

He searched her eyes for an honest reaction. They boldly held his gaze. 

“Marc, I feel the same way. I know that it’s kind of been a whirlwind the past few weeks. Meeting like we did. But the dates we’ve had together have been a real eye-opener for me. You’ve shown me a lot about yourself. And I feel like I can be myself around you too. I never expected things to turn out this way. I’m so glad I’m here with you right now.”

Her words quelled all his fears. But she wasn’t finished.

“I know you. I know the kind of man you are. You’re strong, yet not overpowering. You’re genuine, but you know how to meet people where they are in life. You’re funny, but you’d probably get booed off stage.” She squeezed his arm. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that you are what I’ve always wanted in a guy, and I’m so glad you stepped into my life.” 

It took a second for the moment
and the words to catch up with him. More than anything, he had wanted her to know how he felt. And he had wanted her to know that his feelings were sincere. He had wanted her to understand that he would always be there for her and that he had always loved her. He wanted her, period. Somehow, amidst the hours-long phone calls and time together she understood his message.

There was only one response that fit the extent of his feelings. There were only a couple words that could encompass the priceless times they shared over the past couple of weeks. Marc didn’t want it all to become a fleeting rush of sparse moments, only to result in nothing tangible at the end of the day. She wasn’t in his life for only a season; this was it. This was his future wife, the mother of his future children. He was ready to commit, and he was ready to put his past heartbreak behind him for good. This woman was plopped into his life at exactly the right time and he wasn’t going to miss out on the biggest blessing of his life. Turning her around to face him, he touched the tip of her pink nose, watching her breath rise into a subtle mist. Marc Vincetti was willing to do anything to keep her in his life.

“There’s something I want you to know.” The words clumsily stumbled out against the backdrop of a cracked voice. He needed to say this. He needed her to know. “I love you.”

No sooner had the words slipped out before he wished to retract them. The weight associated with the depths of those three simple words smothered him. The last time he uttered those words to someone, he had been crushed by her heartless blow. It wasn’t love that he feared, but the aftermath of loving something too much and then losing it that nearly killed him years before. But they were out there. His “I love you” clung to the cold darkness and there was no way he could take them back now.

The silence between them stung for a brief moment before she replied.

“Marc
…” Her sideways glance almost looked pitying. If he’d been daring enough to jump up and run, he would have. But being a glutton for punishment, he stayed seated, waiting for the blow. “I love you too.”

“What?”

Had he heard her right?

“I love you too.” She leaned against him, wrapping one arm through his and the oth
er rested on top. It felt nice… no,
perfect
having her there. She fit just right, with her body molded into his. “Just promise me something.”

“Anything,” he assured her.

“Don’t hurt me, okay?”

It was a simple enough request. Of course he would never hurt her. He loved her. But there was something vast and unknown about her request that he couldn’t have ever anticipated. No, he wouldn’t
intentionally
hurt her, but how could he possibly know that he wouldn’t end up breaking her heart?

Chapter 31

T
wilight had long since darkened into dusk, and the evening winds picked up as the night grew late.

Haley’s
quick trip to the restroom ended up turning into a half-hour side-tracked gab session with one of the newspaper editors who had spotted her in passing and then pulled her aside to introduce Haley to a slew of colleagues. Though “colleagues” in small towns meant people who remembered you since your childhood, so of course they all wanted to know every detail of Haley’s life as they reminisced about how much Haley had grown since last seeing her. The conversation turned to gushing over her photography, and eventually rounded the corner to her love life. Not wanting to tell them about Marc—news spread fast—they must have eventually noticed her antsy shifting and let her loose. 

On her way to find Marc, a sweet-toothed craving navigated Haley to the concession stand where the choices between a chocolate fudge brownie sundae—homemade, of course—and toasted almonds caused a delay. Both made her mouth water, and both promised plenty of sugary goodness. She ended up deciding on the least messy of the two, since chocolate had a tendency to stick to her front teeth, a perfect mimic of the scene with Anne Howard’s inked tea in
The Patriot
. 

Another fifteen minutes later, holding two bags of toasted almonds—one for each of them—Haley
surveyed the area for her boyfriend. She loved the sound of it—
boyfriend
. She expected him to be somewhere around the bonfire, since nearly everyone was huddling close to escape the bitter wind, but the darkness concealed any sign of him. There were only a few daring stragglers wandering out of the fire’s circumference of heat, so most likely Marc would be close by.

Examining each face, she finally saw him off to one side sitting on an Amish-made bench with his legs extended toward the fire. Haley paused before approaching, taking in the image. Though the massive flames gave the scene a toasted shade of yellow, she imagined his cheeks blushing red from the intense heat. A vacant look crossed his face as he stared into the inescapable attraction of the fire. All the surrounding couples were equally transfixed by the fire’s manipulative powers.

Haley gathered her courage and took a step forward, then she stopped. Her path to Marc was suddenly obstructed by another woman. She leaned over, hands on both of his shoulders, and then plopped into the open seat next to him. The woman joined Marc’s side, pressing awfully close, and his face broke into a vivacious laugh as the woman told a joke or something.

Haley’s ey
es narrowed into tiny slits as she watched the scene unfold. The woman’s hands moved from her own lap to his, resting on his knee. Based on his never-ending laughter, one would think the girl was the entertainment for the evening. Marc looked more than pleasantly surprised at the woman’s advances… as if he
wanted
her there. The girl was kind of cute, with shiny hair and perfectly flawless skin. Haley disliked her based on the stick figure cheerleader appearance.

Haley checked herself. Acting jealous wasn’t her style, and it certainly wouldn’t make her look good. The woman was probably a friend of Marc’s, so Haley took another step, ready to introduce herself to this new “friend.” Certainly she wouldn’t shy away just because of some flirty floozy.

What she saw next made Haley jolt back. If the woman was just a friend, they were definitely way too chummy. As the woman leaned into his side, Marc gave her shoulders a friendly squeeze. Then it went too far. As his arm slung around the woman’s waist—not a friendly shoulder hug, mind you—Haley’s stomach lurched in repulsion. Who was she, and why was his arm around her? The thought crossed Haley’s mind that maybe it was an old friend. But then Marc shot down that idea: he planted his lips—lips he should have committed to her exclusively, so she thought—on the other woman’s cheek.

The other woman
. The words hurt like a spinal tap.

After giving her heart to him, his aloofness was simply too much to bear. All his letters, his words, felt so meaningless. Like a cruel cosmic joke, their love was now the punch line. Curiosity egged her closer, though everything inside her screamed to turn away. Like watching a car accident, she rubbernecked their interaction. Their lips were moving, but Haley couldn’t make out what they were saying. She found a shadowed spot within earshot behind them. She crept closer to hear what they were talking about, hoping it would shed some light on their malicious display of affection.

“I still can’t get over that hairdo you had your freshman year of high school. I still don’t understand that whole mullet craze,” the other woman giggled in her grating high-pitched voice as she flirtatiously swatted his shoulder.

“Oh, whatever! You know you liked it. Otherwise you wouldn’t have agreed to go out with me back then,” Marc answered between
bouts of laughter.

“Can you believe it’s been that long?
I never expected to stay in Florida as long as I did, but I’m glad to be back. I just can’t believe we reconnected after all those years…”

“I know. And you haven’t changed a bit.”

Marc is such a liar,
Haley fumed in the dark. With all the makeup the girl had on, she was probably hiding a whole army of wrinkles under there.
And that lipstick color! Is she
trying
to look like she belongs on a street corner?

“Well, I’m glad you got rid of the mullet. And you don’t look so bad yourself.”

Haley tasted acid in her mouth at the sound of that line.

“You know, I’m getting chilly,” the girl continued. “I’m thinking I might be ready to head home.”

Is that an invitation for him to leave with her?
Haley wondered.

“Can I just say that it’s been so much fun talking to you, Julie?”

Julie? So the other woman has a name… Julie…

“Yes, you can tell me whatever you want,” Julie cackled. The annoying sound of Julie’s
laugh grated on Haley’s nerves. “Though just make sure it’s—”

As someone threw a log onto the bonfire right near where the two laughing hyenas sat, the spew of glittery sparks and engulfing fire sent everyone back a step, and right into Haley’s line of sight. She strained to hear more, but the crackling fire blocked the sound waves. Forcing the images back to mind—a hug, a kiss on the cheek, the laughter—
those were all the signs of more than friendship, but how could he have been hiding this other woman from Haley for so long? They had been going out for a couple weeks now, so certainly Haley should have noticed if he was hiding someone else on the side. She hadn’t noticed any evidence of infidelity.

Though the more that she thought about it, perhaps there were signs. Subtle, but there. Sometimes he’d be on the phone for extended periods of time, but she had never
presumed there to be a woman on the other line. And there were times he’d come home late from work, but she never suspected a secret rendezvous keeping him after hours. Some nights he’d be out until eight or nine o’clock, but Haley had always given him the benefit of the doubt. Had she been oblivious all this time?

As she fixed her cold stare on her betrayer, she could take no more. She couldn’t be hearing this. She had to put a stop to it.

“Marc Vincetti—what do you think you’re doing?” Haley screamed as she rolled toward him like a steam engine.

He reflexively popped up from his seat and spun around, his eyes wide. Julie jumped behind him, obviously trying
to side with him.

“Hey—” he stammered. But he never answere
d the question. Instead, he fixed that dumbfounded, blank expression on his face that cheaters were well-practiced at and said nothing. The three stood in apprehensive silence, on display before an eavesdropping crowd watching intently. Haley hadn’t noticed their interested audience before, but now she became keenly aware of their murmurings and stares. Did she really want to make a scene in front of everyone? Was it even worth it? Haley stepped back.

“You know what? I
can’t even think right now. You… you make me sick.” The sugar-coated nuts were still in her hands, but she had lost her appetite. So before she spurted out something else to regret, she aimlessly threw down the almonds, which landed right near Marc and Julie’s feet, and concentrated on holding the tears at bay. “Enjoy the snack, and my boyfriend, Julie!” Haley yelled, and she took off running.

She didn’t know where she was running to or how long she’d keep running, but she had to get the anger out somehow. He had seemed so perfect for her, but now he was crushing her whole world. How could he do this to her? And the timing! She gave up
Los Angeles for him. To unload this on her now, after it was too late to change her plans, was unfair. To lead her on like he did and then turn around and hurt her like this was cruel. He gave her no explanation, no time to mend things. While she was sobbing in the middle of an empty lakefront beach, he was laughing it up with his new fling. How was she going to fix this mess she’d made of her life?

And then something inside her broke. She was pretty sure it was her heart. Allen had been right.

Blindly she pushed her legs forward into pitch-black isolation, and fresh tears stung her eyes. She slowed her gait as she looked back, half expecting him to chase her down professing his apologies. But he didn’t follow. The raw emotion hit her unexpectedly, and she wanted to hate him. She wanted to punch back at him for playing her. It was as if he planned this whole scene just to hurt her. And she wanted vengeance.

Her aching legs reminded her of the earlier pursuit with the crazy dog, so she stopped to rub an oncoming cramp. When she resumed her trek into a nearby side street, she stepped off the curb into a puddle of slush. Feeling the cold liquid soak through her boot and into her sock, she burst into loud, angry sobs. She didn’t care if everyone in the world wat
ched or heard her break down.

Julie—Haley wondered what Marc’s history was with Julie. They seemed like old friends, but Marc had never mentioned her. Snapping each piece of the puzzle together, Haley assumed Julie had been a friend from high school, possibly even more than just a friend. What did she have that Haley didn’t? Sure, she was average looking, but nothing special. Certainly no beauty queen. But apparently a coward for hiding behind Marc.

Yet as Haley stood in the dark analyzing Julie, herself, and her relationship with Marc, she wasn’t angry that Marc had ruined everything they had over a nobody like Julie. What bothered Haley the most was that she had trusted Marc with everything inside of her and he’d smashed her trust with such ease, almost as if he had no clue that what he was doing hurt Haley. The look on his face didn’t show remorse or even acceptance that what he was doing was wrong. Even if Haley’s suspicions were inaccurate—that Marc hadn’t been cheating all along and that meeting tonight was a mere chance—Marc still should have explained himself just now and apologized for letting Julie hang all over him. Haley detected no acknowledgement of his insensitive behavior. How could he possibly think that seeing Julie while courting her was all right? What dating handbook was he reading?

No, Haley simply would not get jealous of someone like Julie. And yet Haley was jealous. She’d already fallen for him. No matter how hard she tried to despise him, her heart rejected the request. The conflict waged a war inside of her so vicious that she could have sworn the muscles in her heart were being shredded.

Maybe he was doing this for her benefit—flirting with Julie to try to change Haley’s mind about not going to Los Angeles. That whole “if you love something you’ll let it go” thing. If this was a way to manipulate her into leaving, it wasn’t going to work. Except that if he wasn’t going to be with her here in Westfield, then why should she bother staying? Westfield was nothing more than a reminder of him. Wanting to get back at him, Haley realized that leaving Westfield behind could be the ultimate revenge. But she just didn’t know if she could go through with it.

Without thinking, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed. The voice mail picked up, and while the voice instructed the caller to leave a name, a phone number, and so on, she grappled over whether or not to leave a message.

Beep!

“Hi, Allen. This is Haley. Look, you were right about Marc. He doesn’t care about me and I just want to move on. If you’ll still consider taking me with you to
Los Angeles, I’d like to go with you. Call me back and let me know. And… uh… thanks. And I’m really sorry.”

If Allen found it in his heart to re-invite her, then she’d go and leave Marc, and all the feelings associated with him, behind. After what just happened, it would probably be the best thing. Heck, maybe she could still gain something out of all of this and fall in love with
Hollywood instead. She
wanted
to let Marc go. But she also knew she loved him.

The game took turns
volleying back and forth in her head, Marc… LA… Marc… LA… until she realized… checkmate. There was no decision to make. She had already lost the game. No matter what she’d be the loser. If she and Marc worked things out, she’d give up Hollywood. If Hollywood worked out, her relationship with Marc could never survive the distance… especially not with Julie’s claws digging into him. And then there was that horrible, unspeakable third option: that Marc didn’t want her and it was too late for Hollywood.