The Academy - Friends vs. Family (12 page)

“Are we going to be busy?”

He was quiet for a moment, his fingers tracing over the zipper of
his book bag. “Sang...”

The silence hung in the air, thick with cobweb secrets. “Does the
Academy keep you busy?”

His fingers curled into a fist. “There’s a lot that needs to be
done.”

“Do you have the time to sit here with me?” I asked.

His eyes darkened and his expression turned serious. “Of course,”
he insisted.

“But I make things complicated.”

He shook his head, but a little too quickly. “It’s nothing.”

I chuffed. “Friends are honest with each other, Kota. If there’s
important work to do, the last thing that needs to happen is me getting in the
way.”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” he said.

“I’m not afraid of being alone,” I said. I didn’t want to be,
though. I didn’t want him to leave. I just needed to be sure I wasn’t being
totally selfish. If I got them to stay when they needed to be somewhere else,
would they come to resent me? “I’ve been fine.”

He frowned. “You weren’t fine yesterday.”

“I’m fine now. I didn’t realize she would do that.”

“What happens the next time you think it’s not going to be that
bad and it ends up killing you?”

“What if that never happens?”

“Then we’re lucky,” he said. “But we’re not taking the risk.”

I blew out a breath. “Why?”

His head reeled back, an eyebrow going up. “What do you mean?”

“Why me?”

“God, Sang,” he pulled me back into his arms. I wanted to push him
away because I was feeling confused. When his hands pressed to my back and side
and he hugged me against him, the warmth in his body melted my rigid composure.
He buried his face into my hair against the top of my head. “What happened to
you? You’re intelligent, sweet, considerate. You’re too nice to speak up for yourself,
even when you’re in trouble. If one of us isn’t right on top of you, you end up
stuck inside a tree, or you’re tied up in the shower, or hanging off the arm of
some goon at school. And you’re asking me if I’m inconvenienced?” He nuzzled
his cheek against my head. “You’re a beautiful wreck.”

I swallowed hard, my head pressed up against his chest. Was that
horrible? Was that supposed to make me feel better? “There are a lot of girls
in trouble out there, Kota. There’s many who have it much worse than I do.”

His breath fell against my hair. His fingers rubbed at my back and
side, massaging. I thought he wasn’t going to answer. It was true. There were
girls kidnapped and tortured every day. My mother said so.

“When I first started at the Academy,” Kota whispered to me, “I
thought the same thing. You might have noticed the Academy helps when it can. I
wondered how they picked who they helped and why. There’s so much that needs to
be done. Why didn’t we try helping everyone we came across?” His cheek brushed
against my head again. “But we can’t help everyone, Sang. We can’t do it all.
We have to trust that there’s other people doing their best for those they love
and hope it works out. We start with friends and family. That’s our priority.
If that’s in order, we move on to helping others where we can. Family first,
Sang. Always.”

“But I’m not family,” I whispered.

“You’re one of us,” he said, the command in his voice returning.
Kota’s fingertip traced the tip of my chin, drawing my head to tilt up to look
into his eyes. His forehead hovered over mine, warming. “I know you don’t feel
it yet. You’ve got a family that doesn’t act like one. It takes time to get
used to someone caring about you when you aren’t used to it. You might not know
this, but Nathan and the others know exactly what you’re going through.”

My lips parted. “What do you mean?”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “They should tell you about it,
but none of their families are very close.”

“Your mother is,” I said. “And your sister.”

“We are,” he said. “The others’ families aren’t. It wasn’t very
hard for them to recognize how lost you were. It’s part of the reason why they
wanted you.”

I thought about Nathan’s dad, who I’ve yet to see. Nathan said he
flew helicopters and was gone a lot. North and Luke lived with an uncle, and
didn’t even know each other existed for a long time. I wondered about Gabriel
and Silas and Victor. They were all caring and affectionate around me,
something I never really experienced with my own family. How did they figure it
out?

Maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe they were having just as hard a time
figuring this out as I was. “I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing,” I said.
“I don’t understand how. Or why.”

“I know.” He pulled his head back, bringing a palm to my cheek but
still looking at my eyes. I forced mine to remain looking at his but it was
difficult. I felt he could look inside, seeing everything. The best I could do
was glance back and forth between his eyes and around his face. “We had a
feeling and we made a decision. When you accepted us, we accepted you. It’s how
we work. You’re one of us, Sang. So we’re here for you. Family first.”

Family. They were my friends but now I was family? I couldn’t
understand. We weren’t related and they still hardly knew me. I was one of them.
I sighed. I wanted to believe it. A few weeks ago I was alone. Here I was in
Kota’s lap. My heart still raced. I wanted desperately to stay. I couldn’t find
the words to say it. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I tucked my head down,
pushing my forehead against his shoulder because I didn’t want him to see how
unsure I was.

“I know you don’t feel it, yet,” he whispered, his hand sought out
mine, and he slipped a thumb across my palm, holding on to my hand. “You will.
It’ll happen. If you want it to. You’ll always have the choice. Family is a
choice.”

“It is?”

His thumb pressed into my palm firmly. “It’s your choice. Parents
and siblings are your relations. Family takes care of one another and helps
each other. When each side is working together, when everyone wants it, that
makes the difference.”

I did want it. Did I want it with Kota and the others? It was hard
to trust them when I was still getting used to them, wondering if one day
they’d leave or not knowing what to expect. It was one thing to be a friend.
This was different, wasn’t it? I sighed, pressing my cheek against his chest
and settling into him. I couldn’t find the words to respond. I did want it. I
didn’t know what it was enough yet to understand it.

He seemed to understand. He held me against him, his thumb tracing
along my palm and his other hand massaging at my back. It felt good. Awkward.
Warm. Confusing. Would I ever be able to relax and simply enjoy without
worrying? Was I supposed to enjoy this at all?

A soft buzzing broke the silence. He grunted. The hand holding
mine pulled away and he reached into his back pocket for his phone. I pulled my
head back from his chest to give him room. He glanced at the screen. I caught
North’s name before Kota pushed a button and answered it. “North? Yes, she’s
here. No, don’t use the D2-28. There’s a reference bar.” He paused. “The screen
should say ‘repeat’ or ‘replay’. It doesn’t? Call Victor. Let him know to take
a look at it.”

He continued to talk in codes and riddles that I didn’t
understand. North was already awake working on secret Academy projects. Victor
was either awake or was about to be woken up if North actually called him. What
had the boys up so early? Or was this normal for them?

Creaking sounded on the stairs, heavy and irregular. I gasped,
sitting upright, trying to make sure I heard correctly. Yes. Crap, not now.

My fingers sought out Kota’s mouth as he was telling North another
code. I closed his lips, getting off his lap and pushing him toward the attic.
It took only a fraction of a second for Kota to realize what was happening. He
smashed his phone to his chest and did a back roll off the bed, opening the
attic door and disappearing.

The door handle rattled. Knocking followed. “Sang,” my mother
called from the door.

My hands shook and I checked the room for anything that was out of
place. I kicked his book bag under my bed. I crossed the room, unlocking the
door and peeking out.

My mother leaned against the frame. She had replaced her robe with
a clean one but she was sweating again. Her eyes were wild. “Who are you
talking to?”

I rubbed at my eyes, faking a yawn. “Talking?”

“I heard a man speaking.”

I tilted my head. “The radio?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. Her shoulders heaved as she breathed
heavily. It must have been an effort to walk up the stairs. Was she in pain?
“Your radio isn’t on now.”

“I flicked it off when you knocked.”

She frowned. “Why do you lie to me?”

My eyes widened. “I’m not.”

“I can tell when you lie,” she said. She pressed her palm against
her cheek. “Sang, you lie and you lie. That’s all you’ve done this week.”

My heart tripped to a stop. Did she remember the stool and the
shower now?

She entered the room and out of years of habit, I backed away
against the wall. Her eyes scanned the room. “Why did you move things around?”

“I was trying something different,” I said, my voice catching at
the end as I trembled. I was embarrassed that Kota was listening to this. “Are
you hungry? I’ll make breakfast.”

She stumbled to the bookshelf, her face contorting. “What’s behind
here?” she asked.

“The attic door,” I said. “It’s kind of ugly and I was trying to
think of something...”

She grasped the top of the shelves and heaved it. The shelf
slanted back, teetered for a brief second, before it crashed against the wall.
The radio cracked between the shelf and the floor. The books flew and
scattered. The fan that was behind the shelf smashed against the attic door and
held the bookshelf crookedly. The shelf blocked the half door.

“Don’t lie to me,” she howled.

I forced myself against the wall to remain standing, wrapping my
arms around myself as I was shaking so bad.

There was another creak. The attic door was opening but stopped
short because of the bookshelf in the way. Kota was going to come for me if I
didn’t find a way to stop him, or was he trapped?

“We should go downstairs and get something to eat,” I said as loud
as I could. The rattling at the attic door stopped. He understood. I wasn’t
hurt. “I’ll make eggs and toast.”

“Stop deflecting,” she said. Her fingers flexed against her palms.
She swayed on her feet. “You’ve moved your room around. There’s voices coming
from your room. You’re lying to me. Something’s going on and you’re going to
tell me right now.”

I didn’t know how to respond. My mouth opened but words didn’t
come out. I couldn’t think of another lie.

She stomped across the floor. “Downstairs,” she said, her tone
cold. “Now.”

I moaned softly but stepped into the hallway, obeying and padding
my way downstairs. This was better. I was leading her away from Kota.

I wasn’t hurt and I wasn’t being told to sit in the bathroom so
this was a good thing, right?

My mother clutched the bannister as she stepped slowly down and
into the foyer. She snapped her fingers at me. “Stay right here,” she said.

I sighed, relieved. Rice. Or the stool. The stool! She’d find out
it wasn’t here. I’d be in trouble.

Luckily, she came back a moment later with the bag of rice. She
dropped a handful near the door and pointed at it. “Kneel,” she said.

I dropped to my knees, kowtowing with my face close to the floor
to show compliance.

“When your father gets here,” she said, but never finished her
sentence. She stepped down the hallway to her bedroom. The sound of the news
droning on filtered through the air. She wasn’t going to go back to sleep now.

I remained in the bowed position, trying to ensure she didn’t step
out to check on me as she used to do. Minutes passed. Was Kota still stuck in
the attic? I thought at some point I could at least get up and help him get out
before she discovered I was gone and then get back.

“Psst.”

The sound rattled through me. I sat up in a rush, the movement
making me temporarily dizzy. The rice bit into my knees.

Kota and Nathan sat together at the top of the stairs. Stony
faces. Frowning. They gazed down at me.

Not both of them. It was humiliating enough with just Kota.

Kota signed to me, “Are you okay?”

I nodded.

He signed again. “Get up.”

My mouth popped open.

The command he normally voiced was in his eyes as he signed. “Get
up or I’m coming down to you.”

I crossed my arms in front of my body, trying to sign back with
trembling fingers that he should stay there.

His eyes intensified. He nudged at his glasses and reached to pull
his Converse shoes off of his feet. Nathan did the same with his Nikes. They
yanked their socks off.