The Academy - Forgiveness and Permission (Year One, Book Four) (37 page)

But wasn’t that why I do hesitate? I remembered Micah complaining about the Academy cavalry coming in for the rescue. There was a microphone in my phone, capable of recording everything. They didn’t tell me it was there. The cameras in my house were still up, and they had access to them. I, however, didn’t have access to the cameras in their homes.

They didn’t trust me, either. They didn’t trust me to make the right decisions. I really wasn’t one of them. I was the thing they tried to protect and unless I was within eyesight, they didn’t trust me alone. One of these days, I would cry wolf too many times when something simple I could have handled myself popped up and they would be angry.

I swallowed back my hurt pride. He wouldn’t understand. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “Next time, I’ll call.”

North frowned. “Why won’t you tell me?”

My lips parted. “What?”

“You’re angry and you aren’t yelling. Why won’t you yell at me?”

“I’m not angry,” I said, unsure of his meaning. I was sad and unsure, but was that anger? Did he want me angry at him?

He grunted, and shoved fingers through his hair. “I don’t understand you. Don’t you care about me at all?”

“What? Of course. But why would yelling ...”

“I can’t read your mind. Just tell me what you want.”

In the darkness, my fingers sought out his body again, tracing up along his forearm to his shoulders. I wanted to stop talking tonight. My mind wasn’t ready to process Mr. McCoy and what happened, and I didn’t have the strength in that moment to figure out what North really wanted from me. I wanted to sleep. I wanted him to not be angry with me anymore.

I wanted us back the way we were before, when he would climb onto the roof to come to me in the night and have stars painted into the top of the attic space to comfort me when he wasn’t around and kissed my fingers in the closet.

He may not have been able to read my mind, but he did seem to understand me. He collected me again, drawing me down with him against the bed. He drew me in until my head was pressed to his chest. He hooked a leg around mine. His lips brushed against the top of my head.

In the quiet as I rested next to him, I bit my tears of frustration so I wouldn’t scare him.

Friends were complicated.

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T
he only reason I showed up at school on Friday was Kota’s prodding. I was a zombie the entire day, and I was pretty sure I zoned out during all of my classes. The football game that week was an away game at a city a good distance from Charleston, so North and Silas had to leave midday on the bus to the rival school.

No McCoy. I wasn’t clear what happened to him and the guys kept quiet about it. Even Mr. Blackbourne told me not to worry about it.

I still worried, though. Not knowing was the worst. I would never admit it, but Derrick’s little quip about burying dead bodies came back to me. That and not knowing Mr. McCoy’s location had me thinking he was going to pop up around the corner at any moment. He knew where I lived. He was probably very angry with me. He’d come back for me.

I wanted to ask Kota if we could go to the football game, but as the afternoon wore on, I was almost passing out. When I got home that day, Kota and Nathan both insisted I sleep.

And I did. I slept through the afternoon and all night. I woke up with Kota next to me on the bed. Nathan was on the floor.

I checked the clock on the stereo, which glared five in the morning at me. I wasn’t tired any more though. I inched out of the bed, trying to get out without waking Kota. I tiptoed over to the attic, opening the door. From the small wardrobe, I pulled out a pair of jean shorts and a black tank top. It was Saturday. I was grateful. I had a weekend to recuperate and I was going to utilize every moment by not worrying about McCoy and school for now. I wanted to stay with the guys for every moment, the only way I really felt safe.

I snuck into the bathroom. I bathed, dressed. I twisted my hair, clipping it back while it was still wet. I tiptoed down the stairs. The sun still wasn’t quite up but it was starting to nudge the tree line.

I checked the fridge, hoping to find something to make us for breakfast.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Kota’s voice drifted to me.

I turned, half spooked. I let the fridge close itself behind me.

He leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed over his chest. He still wore the dark gray pajama pants and the green T-shirt he’d worn to bed. His calm smile lit up, soothing. “Morning, sunshine.”

I couldn’t help but smile in return. “Good morning.”

His head tilted and he touched a forefinger to the bridge of his glasses, sliding them up further along his nose. “What would you like to do today?”

My lips parted. He was asking my opinion? It threw me off. “What?”

“Things have been kind of crazy lately,” he said. He pushed himself away from the counter, stepping closer to me. “I thought it might be a good idea to take the day off.”

“We get days off?”

He laughed. “Did you think we work all the time?”

Yes. “It seems like it.”

He stepped closer, until he was tilting his head down to look into my face. “Let me prove you wrong. What do you want to do today?”

My mind blanked out. I had no idea. Here he was, offering me something I’d wondered about. What happens if I wanted to do something? Would they listen? Now I had the opportunity to let him know what I wanted and I didn’t have an answer. I did, but the answer was stupid. Because I did it every day. “I wouldn’t mind just hanging out with everyone.”

“Where?”

I had a choice of that, too? Even then, I didn’t have an answer. It didn’t matter. “Here’s fine, if they want.”

♥♥♥

L
ike magic, by that afternoon North, Silas, Luke, Nathan and Kota were playing basketball. It took until noon for North and Luke to appear, because they’d been working at the diner, but they eventually showed up.

I was playing basketball with them, too, but failing badly. Mostly I was standing around as others weaved and dodged around me to throw the basketball. My knee felt better. My ankle was sore. My muscles were tense but I managed to warm them up and they felt better. The boys were easy on my sore body, but not easy on doing their best to win. Cheating wasn’t working.

I also felt something missing.

Answering my unspoken wish, a familiar gray BMW pulled into the driveway. I stepped out of the way of the flurry of moving bodies racing toward the basket, drawn to the car’s arrival.

Out stepped Victor and Gabriel. Gabriel flashed a smile at me, waving, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a neon orange tank top. Victor wore his usual Armani white shirt and dark slacks. He smiled, too, though a little more subdued.

Gabriel leapt ahead of Victor, nearly tripping as he half jogged forward. I raced toward him, meeting him half way. Gabriel caught me around the middle, spun me once and drew me close for a tight hug. His arms closed in around my shoulders, and he lifted me, stumbling a few steps as he carried me like that.

“Hey there, Trouble,” he said.

“Meanie,” I replied.

He put me down and smirked. “Heard you missed me.”

I beamed, unsure of what to say.

“Me, too, right?” Victor asked, coming up beside Gabriel.

Gabriel backed up and Victor collected me. His hug was softer. His fingers traced across the ribs along my back.

“Hi, Princess,” he said.

The basketball rolled past our legs. Gabriel crouched to pick it up. He hollered and tossed it back, running after it and joining in on the game.

Victor held on to my hand, and we stood together. I realized despite seeing him yesterday, it felt like eons since I saw him outside of school. I felt uniquely shy with him now. I stared off into the game, unsure.

His thumb traced over the back of my hand. “You don’t have plans next weekend, do you?”

I didn’t have a schedule that I knew of. I was at the mercy of Kota and the others. “Not as far as I know.”

He tilted his head toward me. “I believe I owe you a date, don’t I?”

I bit my lip shyly, wanting to ask him about the other girls Silas had told me about. Karen’s suggestion to get to know them one at a time came back to me. I should take my time with each of them, I confirmed. Only then would I know for sure.

“I’d like that,” I said, being completely honest. I liked Victor. I enjoyed being near him.

“I’ll plan something special.”

“What?”

His fire eyes blazed. “You’ll see.”

Silas struck out at the basketball being held up by North. His fist smashed against the ball, sending it sailing. The ball flew across the drive, striking at the roll up door of the shed, leaving a slight dent.

“Shit,” North said, breathing heavily and putting his hands on his hips.

“We can fix that,” Silas said.

“It’s fine,” I said, not really concerned with a small dent in the door.

No one listened to me. The seven of them clustered together around the shed.

“It still rolls up, doesn’t it?” Nathan asked, brushing his fingers through his hair.

Kota stooped, hooking his fingers through the handle and yanked up. The door rolled up noisily, revealing the box filled, messy space inside. The bikes Derrick had fixed up before were in front. The rest was still as I’d left it.

The others gazed inside, curious.

“What’s in here?” Kota asked, looking back at me.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Old things. Junk, I guess. My mother had told me not to touch it before.”

They all exchanged glances.

Kota sighed. “Someone grab those bikes. Let’s get started.”

“What? No!” I said. “Wait, you don’t have to.”

Gabriel laughed, hooking an arm around my neck and pulled me in until his forehead was touching mine. “Don’t you ever learn? You can’t show us something like this and expect us not to do something.”

I groaned. Academy boys. Never a day off. Here was a brand new project and their curious eyes were already sparking, calculating on what to do with it all. Family first.

Gabriel pulled me out of the way as Nathan and Luke started dragging the bikes away. North and Silas picking up the bigger wardrobe boxes, shoving them aside to examine further into the space.

“I forgot about all of this,” Silas said. “I saw it before but it slipped my mind.”

“Me, too,” Nathan said.

“We’ve been busy,” Kota said. He caught the edge of tape at the top of the wardrobe boxes and yanked it. He unfolded the top, peering in.

I pushed a finger to my lower lip. Having been told not to go through all of this, even after what my mother had done to me, made me nervous. I appreciated the thought behind what they were doing, but wasn’t sure what to say.

“Hey,” a voice called from up the road.

We all turned. Derrick was walking up the drive.

“What’s he doing here?” Nathan asked, although low enough only we would hear. I looked over at him. He flashed his eyes at me, asking.

I shrugged, but blushed. Was he still angry?

“What’s going on?” Derrick asked, eyes going to the bikes on the ground outside off the shed.

“Cleaning up,” Kota said. “Want to lend a hand?”

“Are you okay with us doing this?” He looked at me for confirmation.

My heart thundered. He was the only one who seemed concerned enough to ask me first. “It’s no big deal,” I said, standing on the fence and not wanting to insult the others. I knew they meant well but I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning out a shed. “It’s just junk. We don’t have to do it today.”

“Might as well,” North said.

I swallowed a protest, feeling the encroachment of them but unsure how to tell them.

“Should we check with Marie?” Derrick asked. “It’s her stuff, too.”

They all paused, as if this thought hadn’t crossed their minds. Kota rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Is she even here?”

“I came over to see,” Derrick said. He nodded toward the house. “I’ll go check.”

“Whoa,” Gabriel said as Derrick disappeared into the side garage door. “Does Derrick have a crush on your sister or what?”

I, and six other guys around us, turned to Gabriel, gawking in confusion.

Gabriel laughed. “Didn’t you see him? What the fuck? Tell me you saw that. He’s into her. Who would have thought.”

Nathan’s intense gaze soften. “I thought he liked Sang.”

Gabriel shook his head. “He doesn't want her. She hangs out with us. He’s only hangs out with her if Marie isn’t around.”

Derrick returned, reporting that Marie didn’t care one way or the other what happened to the stuff in the shed. I relaxed my resolve a little at hearing this. Marie giving permission made it seem like a better idea now.

Kota started directing the others into working. Broken and couldn’t be repaired furniture got moved to the side of the road to be hauled away. Repairable furniture got put into a pile. When it came to the boxes, Kota started sorting them by size because there wasn’t a way to tell what was inside of them. He didn’t want to open them all at once.

I tried to help, mostly because I felt obligated to answer questions about what things were, but with seven others around, it became crowded as they started splitting up boxes.

After an hour, Gabriel wiped his brow. “Sang, let’s go jump on the trampoline for a minute. It’s too hot in this shed.”

Derrick grunted, dropping a box on the concrete. “I agree. I need a break.”

“It’s a good idea,” Kota said. “There’s a lot more stuff in here than I thought. We need to organize better.” He started pointing at the others. “Luke, Nathan, and Victor, come over to my house with me and help me get some things situated. I’ve got extra boxes and materials we can use in here. The rest of you hang out here until we get back.”

“Yes, sir,” I said, half grinning through my panting.

He smirked at me and beeped my nose. “Don’t worry. We’ll be back.”

That wasn’t really what I was concerned about. I, again, had taken a perfectly good day and ruined it and I hadn’t meant to. How could I be mad about it though? To them, compared to strategizing security at the school or other Academy work, this was probably something simple and fun.