“I’m very sorry,” Ben said. “I plan to make up for it. Ready to call it a night?”
Anna snuck a look over her shoulder at Jerry, who’d been joined by a fat friend. They were now working their respective mojos on Cammie at the bar. Excellent. “I’d be happy to call it a night.”
“You’re leaving?” Sam asked, trying to cover her dismay. “It’s not even midnight yet.”
Ben kept his eyes on Anna. “There’s someone I need to see.”
“Funny,” Anna said, staring back at him. “There’s someone I need to see, too.”
“But it’s a party. It’s New Year’s Eve,” Sam insisted.
“Exactly,” Ben said softly. “Anna? There’s someplace I’d like to take you. Someplace special. Okay?”
She nodded. “More than.”
Ben gave Sam a good-night kiss on the cheek and then led Anna back toward the main entrance. Sam watched them depart, knowing there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. By the time Adam returned with Anna’s flat water with a twist of lime, he found only forlorn-looking Sam.
But Sam rallied and asked Adam to go add whiskey to the water. If she couldn’t have Ben tonight, she might as well drown her sorrows with Adam. Because Sam Sharpe would be damned if she’d spend New Year’s Eve, and the night of her father’s wedding, without a boy to kiss at midnight.
10:55
P.M
., PST
A
nna watched the twinkling lights of the sprawling San Fernando Valley disappear behind them as Ben powered down the 405 freeway.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Anna asked.
A smile twitched at the corners of Ben’s lips. “Marina del Rey.”
Anna knew the area. Years ago, her father had dated a woman who lived in one of the endless high-rises between the ocean and the marina. He’d taken Anna to her penthouse for lunch. Anna remembered hating the food, hating the modern Swedish furniture in her apartment, and especially hating the woman.
“Anywhere special?” Anna probed.
“It’s a surprise.” Ben flicked his eyes to her, then back to the road. “I’ll tell you this much: It will give us a chance to be alone and talk. Good?”
“Excellent,” Anna agreed. That was what she wanted more than anything.
Twenty minutes later they turned off 405 and headed west toward the ocean; it wasn’t long before Ben found the parking lot he was looking for, near the water. They parked by a sign for a restaurant called Joe’s Clam.
“We’re going to a restaurant called Joe’s Clam?” Anna teased.
“Patience is a virtue, my beauty.” He opened Anna’s door and helped her out of the car. Then, hand in hand, Ben led Anna into a sprawling marina, past dozens of sailboats and pleasure crafts. Their footsteps on the wooden planks echoed across the still waters of the inlet.
Ben paused. “This is it.” He made a sweeping gesture toward a yacht that glistened in the moonlight. “Welcome to the
Nip-n-Tuck III
. Or, as I like to call it, my father’s excessive plastic surgery earnings put to excellent use.”
“It’s nice,” Anna said. The truth was, she’d been on many larger vessels. Cyn’s father kept one at Amagansett that made the
Nip-n-Tuck
look like a rowboat. But Anna had never been impressed by the measure of a man’s watercraft. What she cared about was the measure of the man.
She kissed Ben softly. “In fact, it’s beautiful.”
“He’s planning to buy a bigger boat next year,” Ben said.
“The Botox.”
“I’m hoping that’s a joke.”
“Too true to be funny. Come on.” He helped her aboard. “I want to get out on the water before midnight.”
Ben began flipping switches, untying lines, lifting canvas canopies, and priming pumps. “Is there anything I can do?” Anna asked.
“Sure. Climb up top.” He indicated the second level of the vessel. “Open the green cabinet on the left side of the bridge—by the captain’s wheel. You’ll find a CD player and music. Pick your poison. If you’re chilly, there are some fleece jackets in there, too. I’ll be up in a sec.”
Anna followed Ben’s directions and was pleased to learn that Dr. Birnbaum’s musical taste ran to classical and jazz. She selected a CD of Charlie Parker’s
Bird Returns
, which seemed a perfect companion to the bracing night air and the rhythmic slap of wavelets against the hull.
To the accompaniment of Bird’s complex jazz solo, she made her way to the bow and stood there, inhaling the night air. She was still there when Ben eased the
Nip-n-Tuck
out of its slip. He gently accelerated, and they cruised at no-wake speed until they were clear of the marina. Then he opened up the engines and cranked the music. Anna felt salt air whip against her skin. Behind them were Marina del Rey and Los Angeles and then the vast expanse of America … ending at a tiny island called Manhattan. Ahead of her, she realized, was a world of possibilities that she could not anticipate any more than she could have anticipated that she would be on this boat, with this boy, at this moment.
She turned and joined Ben at the tiller. “This is incredible,” she told him.
“Glad you like it.” He put an arm around her and softly kissed the back of her neck.
Anna leaned into him. “When do you go back to Princeton, Ben?”
“I don’t even want to think about that now.”
He was right. She needed to learn to live in the moment, Anna reminded herself. She closed her eyes and let the music wash over her. “Did you know that Charlie Parker kept live birds at Birdland, but they all died from secondhand smoke inhalation?”
“I can’t say I did,” Ben replied, finding a new spot on her neck to kiss.
Anna laughed at herself. “I’m a font of little-known, utterly useless knowledge. It’s a curse—I remember what I read.”
“Do you remember this?” Ben asked. Then he gave her the softest of kisses.
Her whole body tingled. “Yes,” she whispered, her forehead against his.
“We told everyone at the party that we went to the beach the night we met,” Ben said, “and watched the sun rise. Well, this was as close as I could get.”
Anna was touched. “It’s lovely.”
“
You’re
lovely.”
“Even if I’m still dressed like a reject from a bad disco?”
“You’d look beautiful in anything,” Ben said. “Or nothing. I’m using my imagination here.”
She wondered what it would be like to be naked in front of him. Embarrassing? Thrilling? The only male she’d ever been naked in front of was her doctor, which hardly counted. Would she feel self-conscious? Or was this the boy who would finally show her what it was that everyone was always screaming about? And was she ready to find out?
She honestly did not know.
For a long time they stood together under a canopy of stars, feeling the smooth power of the engines pull them out into the Pacific and the night. Only when they were well offshore and could see the coastline all the way from Santa Monica down to Redondo Beach did Ben turn down the music and ease back on the throttle.
“So, Anna Percy,” he began. “I owe you an apology.”
“For what?”
“Let’s start with my friends, who were incredibly nasty to you. Especially Cammie—”
“You don’t have to do this, Ben.”
“I want to. This isn’t … You aren’t …” Ben ran a hand through his hair and then sighed. “Pretty funny. Me, at a loss for words. It’s like this. Cammie and I dated last year.”
“I gathered.”
“We broke up months ago.”
“Okay.”
“I have zero interest in her, Anna.”
“Fine.”
Ben scrunched his brows together. “Why are you being so reasonable?”
Anna turned and regarded the coastline. The lights of the marina twinkled brightly. Just to the south, she could see a jet roar west from LAX into the heavens. Out here on the water things seemed so peaceful. And she liked it that way. “I suppose I could scream and tear my hair. But honestly, this moment, being out here with you—it’s too great to bother.”
He folded his arms and cocked his head at her. “Or you’re not that interested in my song and dance because … you’re not all that interested.”
“I’m interested,” she said quietly.
“Good.” Ben throttled back the engines further. The
Nip-n-Tuck
slowed, then stopped. “Feel free to move about the cabin.”
Anna went to the starboard rail, which had a better view of the coastline. She held up her hair, enjoying the night air’s caress on her neck. Ben joined her. Anna pictured him with Cammie; they certainly made a gorgeous couple. Then she pictured Ben making love to Cammie. She didn’t like that picture at all.
“Did you love her, Ben? Cammie, I mean.”
“No, never.”
“Did she love you?”
“It was more a physical thing. For both of us.”
She glanced at him sideways. “If you recall, that’s exactly how we started. Fourteen hours ago, to be exact.”
He shook his head. “It’s different. Cammie is like … like something I had to get out of my system. She’s a player. She likes it that way, believe me.” He glanced at his watch. “Fifteen minutes till the new year. Want champagne?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Everything is perfect.”
“Yeah. I agree.” He stared out into the inky void as a gentle swell rocked the boat. “Princeton seems really far away right now.”
“Do you like it?”
“Most of the time.” He grew thoughtful for a moment. “It was kind of intimidating at first. Princeton’s not exactly a party school. Not unless you want to flunk out, which I don’t.”
“Do you think you’ll go into medicine, like your dad?”
Ben made a disparaging sound in the back of his throat. “I think of my father as the
anti
-role model.”
“Funny. I feel that way about my mother.”
“Yeah?”
“She lives life by the book. The
This Is How We D$$$[MS PAGE NO 74]$$$o Things
Big Book, East Coast WASP edition. It’s all just so … so prescribed. Such a narrow, safe, sheltered existence.”
“And that’s not what you want?”
“No.” She looked at him sideways. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here with you. Girls who live strictly by the aforementioned WASPy Big Book do not date boys named Ben Birnbaum.”
“I see. I’m forbidden fruit.”
“Please, I live in New York.” Anna laughed. “Still, Jane Percy would not approve.”
“Do we care?” Ben asked.
“We do not.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I remember in seventh grade when I came across the phrase ‘an unexamined life is not worth living’ for the first time—”
“Whoa. Time out. You read Socrates in seventh grade?”
“New York prep schools do that sort of thing. Anyway, the words jumped off the page. I felt like running home and screaming it in my mother’s face.”
“Pretty dramatic.”
Anna chuckled. “Well, I didn’t actually do it. No one screams in my house. Ever. It simply ‘isn’t done.’ But it was one of those lightbulb moments, you know? I knew I didn’t want to lead an unexamined life.”
“Soul searching isn’t exactly on the to-do list at my house, either.”
Anna thought for a moment. “We probably sound like two overprivileged brats who don’t appreciate what we have.”
“Hey, I appreciate what I have. I also appreciate what I don’t have—a father I can respect.”
A sudden breeze blew some loose hair onto Anna’s cheek; she pushed it behind one ear. “Why can’t you respect him?”
“Gee, where to begin?” Ben asked bitterly. “Let’s see. He cheats on his wife. He cheats on his taxes. And he wastes his surgical skills on bullshit rich vanity cases.” He gripped the boat’s metal rail. “I’ll tell you the kind of guy he really is, Anna. When I turned fourteen, he took me out for what he called ‘guys’ night.’ We had dinner at Spago. Then we went to this apartment on the beach that he and his cronies keep—my mom doesn’t know this place exists, mind you. About fifteen minutes later there’s a knock on the door. In walks this drop-dead gorgeous blonde. She was my birthday present.”
Anna was shocked. “You mean, he got you a prostitute?”
“Those chicks charge way too much to be called ‘prostitutes.’ They’re ‘companions.’ And they’ll ‘companion’ you wherever five hundred bucks will go, including into bed with a fourteen-year-old boy.”
Anna’s stomach turned over. “That’s disgusting.”
“I didn’t exactly do dear old dad proud when I refused.”
“Good for you.”
“Don’t give me any credit for being noble, Anna. The truth is, I was scared shitless. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this—”
“I hope it’s because you trust me,” Anna said. “And I hope I can trust you, too.”
“Does that mean you’re about to share your how-I-almost-lost-my-virginity story?” he teased.
“Uh … I don’t have one, really.”
“Come on.” He chuckled, then realized she wasn’t joking. “You mean you’re—?”
Anna nodded. “To get to ‘almost,’ I would’ve had to feel like I felt with you on the plane,” she confessed, her voice low. She was blushing and glad Ben couldn’t see it in the dark. “I never really felt like that before.”
“I’m flattered.”
“You should be.” The breeze freshened; Anna crossed her arms and tucked her hands beneath the armpits of Ben’s tux jacket to keep them warm.
“Back in a sec,” Ben said. “I’ll get you a vest.”
“Ben. You can warm me up without that.”
She lifted her lips to his. He kissed her. Then he
really
kissed her. Then he really,
really
kissed her. After which he did things that made her forget there was a mind attached to her body. As powerful as her feelings for him had been on the plane, they were nothing compared to what she was feeling now. It was wonderful. It was incendiary. It was dangerous.
Ever so gently, Ben’s hand snaked under the thin silk of her camisole.
She knew she really shouldn’t …
And decided she didn’t give a shit. Because in the
This Is How We Do Things
Big Book, East Coast WASP edition, what she was contemplating didn’t have a chapter. Sure, some girls who carried the book around did It: girls who were rich, WASPy, and wild for about a nanosecond. Then they graduated from the right school, married the right man, and joined the Junior League to live uneventfully ever after.
To think that only that morning, she’d been on her way to the airport with Cynthia, wondering if moving to Los Angeles would be the biggest mistake she’d ever made in her life, worrying that she’d never be able to stop loving Scott Spencer. And now here she was, on a yacht just before midnight, kissing a boy who made her feel as if pygmies were high diving in her stomach. And south of her stomach, too.