Texas rich (24 page)

"Billie, you are so lucky. I do hope you appreciate all of the help the Colemans are giving you. If we were back in Philadelphia, we'd both be worn to a frazzle. Now, with all of these tedious chores taken off your hands, you can concentrate on regaining your strength and getting back to normal. You never know—^Moss could get leave, just like that." With this she snapped her fingers and then, in a rare moment of affection, bent over and kissed Billie on the cheek.

"We're going to have such wonderful times, Billie. As soon as you're on your feet, I'll take you to all the clubs and organizations Seth feels we should belong to. I've made some lovely friends and everyone is dying to meet you. You have to do it, darling, for Jessica's sake. That's what the Coleman women do, you know. We do the social scene while the men harvest the money. It's such a wonderful tradition."

"Mother, have you seen Maggie?"

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"Of course I have. Everyone has seen the... the little darling. Why, I peeked into the nursery just moments ago and she was sleeping soundly. The nurse is preparing her bottle right now. Canned milk and Karo syrup. Jessica is waiting in her room to be allowed to feed her. The nurse felt it would be better if you stayed here in your room. Just for a few more days. You have to take things slow at first. Trays will be sent up."

"Mother, I'm not an invalid. All I did was have a baby. Millions of women have babies. Why can't I go downstairs to dinner? Why do I have to have a tray? Is Seth so upset he can't look at me?" she said bitterly. "I know I spoiled his grand plans by having a girl instead of a boy."

Agnes stiffened. "Now that's enough of that kind of talk. I don't ever want to hear anything like that again. You're a Coleman now and it's time you were properly appreciative. It's the stairs, Billie. You can't keep going up and down. Not for a while yet. Those are Dr. Ward's orders. Seth had nothing to do with that, for heaven's sake. How could you think such a thing?"

Billie leaned back in the chair. She had forgotten the steps. They had been a chore to climb. So what if she had to stay up here for another week or so—at least she could walk down the hall to see Maggie. She could read to Jessica, and they could talk for hours about the baby and the delivery. She could write to Moss every day and tell him of Maggie's progress. As soon as possible she would have a picture taken and send it along. Moss could carry it in his wallet and show his friends. But would he? Seth would never brag about a daughter; of that she was sure. Would Moss? She had to admit she didn't know.

"I think I'll take a nap and then write to Moss. I'm rather tired, Mother." It was a dismissal and Agnes was grateful. They didn't have much to say to each other.

An hour later Billie realized she didn't need sleep. She settled herself in the chair by the window, her writing pad on her knee. It struck her suddenly how alone she was. Maggie was being taken care of. Agnes was off doing only God knew what—plowing the south forty, for all she knew. Her husband, dear, sweet, wonderful Moss, was off fighting a war to make the world safe for her and Maggie.

Billie sat for a long time, staring at the blank pad on her knees. In the end she wrote a trite, newsy httle letter that told none of her true feelings. What would Moss think of her if she

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said she didn't care for his father? How could she tell him of the look in his father's eyes when she'd come out of the anesthetic? Moss didn't need or want to hear that sort of thing.

Little Maggie, as we call her, is doing fme. Nurse Jenkins seems to think she's a bit ahead of herself, gobbling down six bottles a day. She sleeps constantly, as do all babies. I rarely hear her cry because the nursery is down at the end of the hall, and anyway I think Nurse Jenkins picks her up as soon as she even whimpers. She does go through an exorbitant amount of didies. Tita is going to have her hands full with laundry. Mother said your father will get someone in to do Maggie's laundry. Isn't that generous of him?

I labored for almost fifteen hours, but I'm fme now, and pounds lighter. When you see me next I plan to look like the girl you left behind. The only difference will be that that girl is now a young mother. I hope you're pleased with the name we gave her.

The war news hasn't improved. I listen to it every chance I get, and I read the papers cover to cover every day. Please, Moss, take care of yourself, and when you have time, think of Maggie and me because we're here loving you.

How I treasure those few days we had at Christmas. If only it could have been longer. I'm not complaining; it's just that I miss you so.

Your mother sends her love. She's been talking about Amelia a lot of late. Before I went to the hospital we spent one entire afternoon looking at baby pictures of you and Amelia. She really does miss your sister. I wish I could meet her. Your mother seems to think that we would get on well together.

Darling Moss, I must close for now. I want to check on Maggie and it's almost time for dinner. I thought I would have mine with your mother this evening on my first night home. I guess it is my home now that Maggie's here, but in the beginning I rather felt like a visitor. Having Maggie seems to make me permanent, if you know what I mean.

All my love to you. Moss. Please write when you can.

Love, Billie

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Billie sealed the letter and put an airmail stamp on the envelope. She wondered when Moss would get it. There had been no mail from him for over two weeks. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll say an extra prayer, she thought, and couldn't help wondering if Seth had heard from his son. She had shared her letters with him and Jessica, but Seth had not shown her the same courtesy. She hadn't wanted to make an issue of it and so had remained quiet, but it seemed so unfair. Didn't he know how worried and upset she was? And whom was she fooling about being permanent and belonging? At best she was merely tolerated. In a sense the baby did make a difference, but Maggie was a girl. Seth Coleman wanted a grandson.

EkKtor's orders or not, she was going to take a shower and wash her hair. What harm could it do? And she would feel so much cleaner and better than with a sponge bath and talcum powder. She'd lock the bedroom door and the one to the bathroom. Who would know? Who would care, really?

The thick steak staring up at Billie made her gulp. Jessica's hght salad and small dessert of Jello-O was more appealing. Billie picked guiltily, knowing she should be grateful for the meat. Back in Philadelphia her friends would have given anything for a steak like this one. Tita removed the heavy dinner almost intact. Jessica smiled as she poured the coffee from a handsome silver urn.

"Now tell me, child, how bad was it?"

"Bad. But it's over now."

"Billie, giving birth is the most wonderful experience in the world. We've been so fortunate. True, there is pain, but it's the most easily forgotten kind. Once you see that little pink or blue bundle, nothing else matters. Don't you agree?"

Billie knew what she was supposed to say. But to forget fourteen long hours of the most excruciating misery known to woman! And that pink bundle. Perhaps if she had been able to hold Maggie after the delivery, she might feel as Jessica did, but it had been three days before Maggie had been brought to her because of the baby's low birth weight. Still, pleasing Jessica and being agreeable was so much easier than telling the truth. Besides, Jessica didn't want to hear unpleasant facts. She was living her life within the four walls of this room, sheltered from unpleasantness and stress. Seth had said-Jessica was to remain calm at all costs. So she forced herself to meet Jessica's eyes and took a deep breath.

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"Yes," she lied.

"She's beautiful, Billie," Jessica went on enthusiastically. "So healthy-looking, despite how little she is, and all that hair! I'm sure Moss is delighted. Seth said he sent word to the Enterprise. I expect we'll be hearing from Moss any day now. I pray that we do every day. At least you'll never have to worry about Maggie going off to war. Good girls always stay near their mothers."

Billie sipped her coffee. Good girls? Did that mean she didn't consider Amelia to be a good girl?

"In England, Jessica, the women are doing their bit. I've been reading about it. They're so brave. The whole thing is just so terrible. While I was in the hospital I read—" Billie bit her tongue. What she had read would be considered upsetting to the frail Jessica. A young woman had been driving an ambulance with four wounded men inside and they'd been bombed right off the road. Only bits and pieces of the bodies were found. No, that surely would upset Jessica, with Amelia in England. Maggie was the only safe topic of conversation, or the weather. Mentioning Agnes always brought a tightening of Jessica's lips.

"I just wrote Moss a letter telling him all about Maggie," Billie said. "That reminds me. Can you reconmiend a good photographer to come and take her picmre? I want to send it to Moss."

"Seth has already taken care of that, Billie. A photographer will come out when Maggie is christened next week."

"Christened? Next week? I suppose I'll be up to it, but I'm not sure about any of my clothes fitting me. My goodness, so soon?"

"Billie, there's nothing to fret about. Seth and Agnes will take care of everything. Besides, the mother doesn't go to the church. It's not going to be an event. A simple christening with some pictures taken. A sit-down dinner for a few of our closest friends. That's all there is to it. Maggie will of course wear the same christening dress that Moss and Amelia wore. I was very careful about preserving it when I packed it away. The laundress will see that it is cleaned and each tiny ruffle ironed to perfection. You don't have to concern yourself about these details."

But I want to! Billie almost screamed. She couldn't go to the church? It was unthinkable. She was going to miss her own baby's christening? Well, we'll just see about that!

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"Billie, what is it? What's wrong?" Jessica asked anxiously.

With great effort, Billie forced herself to speak quietly. "I would like to do these things. I want to go to the church to see Maggie christened. She's my first child. How can I write Moss about it if I'm not there?"

"Darling child, this is the way we do things here. You're going to have to get used to it. You're a Coleman now and you have to accept our ways. That's why Moss sent you to us. I think you're overly tired and it is your first day at home. Tomorrow you'll realize that Seth is more than capable of handling all these matters. Your mother is helping—or will help, if she's needed. Moss expects it."

And that was the last word.

BiUie held her tears in check when she bent down to kiss Jessica good night. "I'll go by the nursery and check on Maggie before I turn in for the evening."

Jessica hated to do it and she practically bit her tongue to make the words come out right. "Why don't you wait for morning, Billie. I'm sure the nurse has settled Maggie for the night and you might wake her. Routine. Nurses always have such strict routines."

"Is that the same as telling me the nurse won't allow me in the nursery to see my own baby?" Billie asked in a trembling voice.

"I'm afraid so, Billie. If the door is closed, it stays closed."

Jessica ached to gather Billie close to her, to pat her head and tell her everything would be fine. Lately, though, she'd begun to have the feeling she wouldn't always be here to comfort Billie. Mollycoddling, as Seth called it. The sooner Billie learned and accepted that things were done the "Coleman way," the better it would be for her. There was little sense in spurring the child into rebellion. Jessica drew her rosary from her dressing gown pocket, leaned her head back against the chair, and closed her eyes. There were cruel lessons that Billie would learn, the same lessons she'd had to learn herself. And for what? To end up a woman old before her time, sitting alone in her room with every unfought and unfinished battle still tearing at her heart. No, it would be easier in the long run if Billie became a true Coleman: hard, greedy, and selfish. Otherwise she'd have to run away, just as Amelia did. Just as she was doing herself.

Billie fled the room. Her eyes went down the endless hallway to the nursery door. It was closed. Her shoulders slumped

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as she entered her own room and locked the door behind her. She wasn't used to closed doors; she hated them. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she picked up the letter to Moss and held it close to her heart. It didn't bring him any closer.

Maggie was three months old the day Seth entered Sunbridge by the kitchen door, his weathered face wreathed in smiles. He'd just come from the Cattlemen's Club.

"You look like someone just handed you their prize bull," Agnes said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Would you like a cup? I just sent Tita up with tea for Jessica."

"My news is a damn sight better than getting a prize bull. I just got a call from Washington: the Enterprise is coming into Pearl for repairs. My boy is safe and sound and we might be able to get some calls through and talk to him. They're due into Pearl on the eighth of May; that's four days away, Aggie. I'm going up to tell Jessica."

Agnes stared after Seth's retreating back. It was awesome how the Colemans got everything their way, but things had to be handled delicately, quietly. Billie was getting her back up these days about the smallest things. If she were to suspect for one minute that another pregnancy was being planned by her father-in-law and her mother, there was no telling what her reaction would be.

Billie would be delighted to go to Hawaii to see her husband, though. And when she returned, with any luck she'd be carrying the Coleman heir. And luck would be on their side. How could anything be simpler than letting nature take its course?

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Agnes stared out the multipaned window in her bedroom, sa-voring the seemingly limitless expanse of Sunbridge. For months now she'd considered the homestead, as Seth called it, her own.