Tender Love (17 page)

Wondering how many plates to put on the table, Alice gave Eddie five place settings, and he arranged them while she took a pan of baked fish from the oven and tested the potatoes to see if they were tender. Gran and Kristin came into the kitchen when Mark did, and took their regular places at the table. After he said the blessing, Mark grinned at Alice.

“You left before you got your orders. It will be a few months before we can be married, but in the meantime, you're to take your place as mistress of this home. No more going to your room until bedtime. You sit in the family room with the rest of us as if you belong there—as you do.”

After she filled the dishwasher and laid out the items she would need for breakfast, Alice picked up her needlework and went to the family room, but she had little to say. Mark helped Kristin with her homework, while Eddie sat on the floor and played with
some toy automobiles. When Eddie grew sleepy, and Mark was still busy with Kristin, Alice said, “I'll take Eddie to bed.”

She was extra tender with Eddie as she rubbed his hair dry after he showered, and listened to his nightly prayers. When he got into bed, she lifted the sheet over his body, and kissed him. Even after Mark's ultimatum, she knew she must eventually leave. He could force Kristin and Gran to be civil to her, but you couldn't force love, and that was what she wanted and needed.

When she went downstairs, she paused at the door of the family room. “I'm going to bed, too. Good night, Mark, Kristin.”

Kristin mumbled her reply, but Mark said, “No, I must talk with you, Alice. Come in for a few minutes.”

She sat in an armchair and pretended to be reading a magazine while he finished with Kristin and took her upstairs to bed. When he returned to the room, he stood by the fireplace, his elbow on the mantel, and a muscle twitched in his face.

“Alice, I don't know why this hasn't occurred to me before, but Ethel's remarks about your wealth made me wonder. Are you the one who reduced the loan on this house?”

The crimson that flushed her face would have been answer enough, but she said, “Yes.”

He threw up his hands and strode angrily around the room.

“I don't know why I didn't suspect that, since you had finally told me that you owned quite a lot of property, but to be able to pay out that much money
to help a stranger must mean that you really
are
wealthy.”

“I hardly consider you a stranger, Mark.”

“You know what I mean. My pride had suffered a lot this year—I suspected from the bountiful meals you prepared for us that you were spending more than I'd budgeted, and that you'd paid for Kristin's camp expenses, but I didn't want to make an issue of it. But this is the last straw! I won't take that money from you. I suppose that's the reason your parents have been angry with you—no doubt, they think I'm trying to get all your wealth, and if we're married, they, and probably everyone else, will think I'm marrying you for your money.”

Alice had noticed that he'd said “if we're married.” Did that mean he was having second thoughts?

“I'll go ahead and sell this house as I'd planned to and give back what you paid the bank.”

Alice stood and, on trembling knees, walked to the door.

“Do whatever you want to, Mark,” she said wearily.

 

Alice continued to live at the Tanners' although the tension in the house was almost unbearable. Mark wasn't the same, apparently still seething over the house payment, which he considered a loan, but wasn't able to pay back. If he intended to move to another location, he didn't mention it to Alice. In fact, they talked very little. Kristin and Gran didn't give her any trouble, but the happy family atmosphere was gone. Only Eddie remained unchanged, and she stayed on for his sake.

One event did bring some peace to her heart, for after a silence of two months, Alice's sister telephoned her one evening.

“I want to apologize,” Nancy said immediately. “I know I shouldn't have been angry that you wouldn't help me buy that house. As it turned out, the house wasn't for me anyway. I've found a much better buy, which I can handle myself, and I signed the papers on it today.”

Relief evident in her voice, Alice said, “I'm glad you let me know, Nancy. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but it was impossible to do what you asked me at that time.”

“I should have been grateful for what you've already done. I had a talk with Mom and Dad last night, and she's going to call you, too. How are things with you, Alice? Are the Tanners all right?”

Attempting to speak lightly, Alice said, “We have Eddie enrolled in kindergarten and that's a miracle in itself, considering all of the physical problems he's had.”

Nancy chatted on about her children, and Alice was spared any further comments on her situation. She couldn't tell her family about her problems—she didn't want her mother saying, “I told you so.”

When she confided her concerns to Betty, her friend advised, “Hang in, there. The man's pride has been wounded, but he'll get over it. Go ahead and marry him.”

“He may have changed his mind now—he's so cool toward me.”

 

The tension between Mark and Alice affected the whole house, and at the dinner table, the only time
they were all together, Alice noticed that the children often glanced from her to Mark. She tried to act the same as she always had, but it was an effort, and the children were concerned. Kristin and Eddie helped her with the dishes, but as soon as the kitchen was in order, Alice went to her room. Eddie spent some time with her each evening, and he and Alice played games on the computer. Sometimes Kristin came, too, and while they played, Alice sat with her embroidery in her hands, but she made so many mistakes that she laid it aside. If she didn't have the tablecloth ready for Nancy's Christmas gift, she'd make it a birthday present.

One night, after Kristin had gone to bed, Eddie stood by Alice's chair. His lips quivered, and he said, “You're not happy like you used to be, Alice. Are you going away like my mommy did?”

“Eddie, the time will come when I
have
to go away. You'll be a big boy soon, and big boys don't need a nanny.”

“I don't want you to go away, Alice. Don't you love us anymore?”

She hugged him tightly and buried her face in his soft curls. “I love you very much, Eddie. You're special to me.”

“Do you love Daddy, too?”

Alice heard a movement at the door, and she looked up quickly and gasped. Mark leaned against the doorjamb, and she wondered how much he'd heard. She lifted a hand to her flaming face.

“Go ahead and answer his question, Alice,” Mark said. “I'd like to hear the answer myself.”

“Do you, Alice? Do you love Daddy?” Eddie
said. He turned a pitiful gaze on his father. “She's going to leave us like my mommy did.”

Alice answered Eddie, but she didn't take her eyes from Mark's face. “Yes, I love your daddy, but I don't think he loves me.”

Eddie ran to Mark's side, tugged on his hand, and pulled him toward Alice. “Tell her you love her, Daddy—I don't want Alice to go away.”

A sob welled up from Alice's throat, and she covered her face in her hands. Eddie threw his little arms around her, and Mark knelt beside her chair.

“Son,” Mark said, and his voice was tender, “it'll be better if Alice and I talk this over alone. Can you get ready for bed by yourself? I'll look in on you when I come upstairs.”

Eddie stood on tiptoes and kissed Alice's cheek. “Sure, Daddy, just so you'll make Alice happy again.”

As soon as they heard Eddie's steps on the stairs, Mark gathered Alice out of the rocking chair and carried her into the family room. He placed her on the couch, sat beside her, and held her close in his arms.

“Even if Eddie hadn't intervened, I can't stand this rift between us, Alice. Do you forgive me for being so foolish?”

Sniffing, she nodded against his shoulder, and moved closer in his embrace.

“I love you, but it's your money! You know that most ministers don't make big salaries, and I've never expected to become rich in the ministry—I've only wanted my needs met. My folks have worked hard all their lives and have accumulated very little. And I fall in love with a woman who can dole out
money like she was Santa Claus! I don't see how we can ever have a happy marriage. I'll feel inferior all the time.”

Alice leaned back in his embrace and wiped the tears from her face. “Until I married John Larkin, I didn't have any money, either. You've seen the farm where I lived until I went away to college. My folks didn't have the money or inclination to pay my way in college—I worked, took out student loans, and just barely scraped by. I did manage to pay all of my debts before I married John, so he didn't have to pay them.”

Mark threaded his long tapered fingers through his hair, and he stood up and walked around the room. “Maybe I shouldn't ask—but how much are you worth? I'm going to marry you if you're as rich as Croceus, because I can't live without you, but I suppose I might as well hear the worst.”

“I really don't know. Besides the farm, which isn't worth a great deal, and the beach house, which is valuable, I own a home in Alexandria. My assets probably total a million dollars.”

Mark expelled his breath and dropped into a chair and groaned.

“That's worse than I thought.”

Alice went to him and perched on the arm of his chair. “If my money is standing between us, I'll give it away. There are lots of worthwhile charities that will make good use of it. I'll live on what you can provide. It won't matter.” She kissed the top of his head. “Only one thing matters to me and that's you and your family.”

He shook his head. “No, that isn't fair to you. I'll just learn to live with it.” He lifted his head and put
his arm around Alice. “But can't you understand how I feel and why I've been so undecided about what to do? For the past few years, I've been living from hand to mouth, and soon I'm going to be living off the largesse of John Larkin, a man I didn't even know. It doesn't seem right somehow.”

“That's how I felt when I inherited the money, but my accountant set me straight on that. He said, ‘In the first place, you earned the money—when you married John you gave him a new interest in life after Martha's death, and you took care of him during several years of illness. Besides, John wanted you to have the money, and he also wanted you to marry again.'”

“I doubt he'd want you to spend his money on another man and his family.”

“That's where you're wrong.” She told him then about the last day she and John had spent at the beach, and how he'd insisted that she marry someone her own age, whom she could love. “John was one of the most generous men I've ever known, and he was always interested in helping struggling pastors or seminary students. From what Betty has told me, you give yourself completely to your congregation. That's the reason you haven't succeeded financially—it isn't a priority for you, and that's how it should be. If you do return to the ministry, John would be overjoyed to know that his money is being used to support you and your family, so that you can do absolutely what God wants you to, and not have to worry about making a living.”

Alice saw hope dawning in Mark's eyes. “He sounds like a wonderful man.”

“He was. You see, his daughter had expected to
go into full-time Christian service, but her untimely death prevented that. I tell you he'd be happy I'm marrying you and making it easier for you to fulfil your vows to God.”

“You've eased my mind considerably, Alice, and I'll try to get over my qualms about your riches.” He stood up and hugged her tightly. “I'm an ungrateful guy. Here I have you and a secure future for the taking, and I've made you and the family miserable for weeks.”

When he kissed her, time stood still for Alice. She whispered, “When can we get married?”

“Give me a little more time. I've written to the state board, asking for an appointment to discuss where and how I should continue. I'd really like to have that settled before we marry.”

“I'll wait, but I don't want to.” She took a newspaper off the table. “In the meantime, would you be interested in buying another house? You've talked about selling this one, and if we use what you get for this one, and what I'll get from the beach house, we could find a bigger home.” She held out the paper. “I've been looking at the listings by the Tatum Real Estate Agency, and there's one that sounds good to me.”

“Tatum Agency? Oh, that's Grover Tatum—he's a member of the Tyler Memorial Church, and the father of Don Tatum who goes to kindergarten with Eddie—you've heard Eddie talking about him.” Alice nodded. “He was a difficult church member—always rather testy, but I guess he knows the real estate business.”

Mark looked through the property listings.

“Which house did you like?”

“This one,” Alice said, pointing to a small ad, without a picture. “Antebellum home, twenty-five miles north of Richmond. An excellent location for a growing family.”

“Antebellum? That's pre-Civil War vintage. Actually, I don't think we should consider buying a home now. If I'm called to another church, there might be a parsonage available.”

“Most churches don't provide parsonages anymore, and we'll need a big house for our family. Will you go with me to see the property?”

Mark's face paled, and his hand tightened on Alice's shoulder. “My pride is still bothering me, but I won't object if you want to buy another house. You haven't made any decisions yet that haven't been good for the Tanner family.”

“It has to be a joint decision. If we buy it now, perhaps it will be ready by the time we get married. I don't know how much renovation it will require.”