Tease: Mojave Boys MC (14 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Maya had to keep her hands busy so they wouldn’t tremble. She was so shaken she could barely contain her emotions, and the only thing that kept her panic at bay was cleaning and sewing wounds. She didn’t even want to look at Vance right now. When it came to seeing him, she was torn.

She was relieved he wasn’t hurt, and she wanted desperately to lean on him for support. But at the same time, she was livid at him. Of course, he couldn’t control what another motorcycle gang did, but he was responsible for the tension between the rival gangs, and for the rogues who were most certainly the ones who had just attacked the clubhouse.

On top of that, he’d promised her they would be safe here, that no one would find him. Dusty’s reaction when they’d arrived told her that wasn’t true, and her instincts had her on edge. Yet, Vance had come in from their conversation acting mostly normal, and she’d taken that to mean the threat was minimal. It gave her a false sense of security, almost as though he’d lied to her. She was so angry about that she could spit fire.

At least most of the men were grateful for her help, and when she’d finally gotten to everyone that needed immediate attention, she packed up the remaining supplies and took them to Doc, who was apparently the trained doctor of the crew. He thanked her, and Maya thought about offering her assistance, but she was ready to find Vance and give him a piece of her mind.

He was nowhere to be seen, and she started stepping around recovering men and weaving through the others who were trying to help, searching for him. She reached the other end of the bar, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Covering her mouth to hold back a scream, Maya shook her head violently, not wanting to process the image of the two men in front of her.

Dusty grabbed her and pulled her away, forcing her to face the other direction. “Okay, Maya, come on. You need to sit down,” he told her, moving her not quite against her will but without her assistance toward one of the nearest barstools. She stared at him, words failing her. He just nodded. “It happens, Maya. It’s like any other war. Men are lost, usually good men.”

“Cougar,” was all she could say. She didn’t know the other man’s name; she’d only seen him in passing once or twice. But she’d interacted with Cougar. He couldn’t be dead, could he?

Dusty banged a fist on the counter, making her jump, but Joe was there with a shot of something right away. Dusty passed it to her. “Here, this will take the edge off.”

Not even tasting the burning fluid, Maya tossed it back, her mind focusing on the image that was now burned into her memory. “Where’s Vance?” she asked, and her voice sounded far away to her ears.

He’s in the back, with Bert,” Dusty told her. “Come with me, and we’ll find him.” He got her on her feet, and she let him take her elbow, following him in a daze to the kitchen behind the bar and down the narrow, winding aisle created by the boxes of liquor and supplies stacked everywhere. She had gone this way earlier, toward the storage room. That made Maya laugh internally; the storage room was more of a janitorial closet and mini-office. The materials that she would have expected to find in storage were here and there and everywhere else.

The door was ajar, and Maya recognized one of the voices in the heated argument on the other side as belonging to Vance. She had thought she would be angry or relieved or something, but she was just numb. The minimal medical training she had told her she was in shock, but she couldn’t manage to snap out of it.

Dusty rapped on the door with his knuckles but didn’t wait for a response to push it open. Bert was the other man in the room, and he and Vance were practically chest to chest in their angry discussion. Now, though, both heated expressions were fixed on Dusty and then on her, and Maya stood there, not moving for fear her legs would buckle beneath her. She was a strong woman, but even she had seen too much in the last several days to remain unaffected.

Vance made a move like he was going to come to her, but Dusty held out a hand to stop him. “I think the two of you need to speak in private.” Maya watched as if from a distance, as he exchanged glances with Bert, who then turned to assess her from head to toe. He didn’t look happy at all, and his jaw was set in a firm sign of a rather violent disagreement.

Finally, the man looked back at Vance and spat, “You might want to consider that you brought this on us before you start pointing fingers at someone else and claiming it was their oversight.” He walked away, pushing past Maya with such force she probably would have fallen over if Dusty hadn’t caught her. He called back, “This isn’t finished, Ice!”

“That’s for damn sure! We’ll put it to a vote tomorrow!” Vance called after him.

“Enough!” Dusty said sharply, the first time Maya had ever heard authority in his voice. “Get over it, Ice. You know very well what’s going down tomorrow morning at the meeting, and I can guarantee you everyone is going to listen to what you have to say. Right now, you have more important things to consider. You need to take care of your girl. This isn’t her scene, and she’s been busting ass to make sure we all get cleaned up, sewn up, and shored up. Now, she needs some attention of her own.”

Vance very clearly didn’t like being told what to do or how to do it, and she saw him clenching his fists at his sides. Even in her own lack of feeling, she recognized the signs of his incensed ire, and she definitely wasn’t going to be the one to open the cage to a dangerous animal. She focused on her own actions and forced herself to look at Dusty and smile. “Thank you, Dusty; I got it from here.”

He didn’t look convinced, and as he nodded, Maya had a feeling he was going to wait just outside the door, in case they got into an argument that spiraled out of control. Maya had no such plans, but with Vance so on edge, there was no telling what could happen.

“Are you okay?” The question was barely audible, and Maya just stared at Vance for a moment to make sure he’d asked it and that it wasn’t just in her head.

“I’m not injured, if that’s what you mean. I was here throughout the whole thing, worried sick that something was going to happen to you.” She heard the venom in her voice, but she couldn’t keep it at bay. “But mentally and emotionally, I’m a wreck. You told me everything was going to be okay, Vance. This is not okay.”

He let out a long breath before he answered. “I know it’s not okay, Maya. But it’s over now.” There was hesitation in his words, and she crossed her arms defiantly, waiting for him to continue. With a grim expression, he corrected, “It’s over for now, at least. And we took out enough of them that they’ll back off.”

“You told me there was a truce.”

“There was, but it was a farce,” he said, his tone irritated. “Look, Bert screwed up, and I didn’t know it until we got here. But Bert’s about to get booted out of the role of leader, and I’m taking over. Nothing like this is going to happen again.”

Exasperated, Maya let all her emotion come out as she ranted. “It’s too late, Vance! There are two dead men in there! Two men died protecting you, protecting
me
! That’s not okay, and I can’t just stand here and be alright with all of it. That would be a betrayal of the lives that were lost, of all the men who got hurt. I sewed at least a dozen wounds, and I know there are plenty more, some less serious and some more serious that I can’t touch with my limited skills.

“And as if that wasn’t bad enough, it could have been you! Your body could be lying there with Cougar’s, or I could have been sewing you up! I don’t think I could handle that, Vance. I know you took lives, and I can live with that, since you did it in self-defense and in defense of your family. But I can’t live with the idea that next time, you might not make it out alive.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, sweetheart,” he argued. “I’ve had guns pointed at me more than once, and I’ve rarely even gotten scratched. I’m a survivor, Maya, and I’m determined to protect what’s mine. That means my property, my club, my hometown, and especially the woman I’m falling for.”

His admission hit her hard, but it didn’t deter Maya from making her point. “I’m aware of the lengths you would go to just to keep me safe, to keep your club safe. And that’s part of my fear in all of this. The fact that you’ve been in this situation before just proves that it’s too dangerous, and by law of statistics and probability, you’re running out of sheer dumb luck. You can’t escape the eventuality that something is going to happen to you.”

He growled wordlessly, staring up at the ceiling. Then he shut his eyes, and she could hear his teeth grinding. When he finally looked at her, he asked, “What is it you want from me, Maya? You want me to leave this place and never come back? You want me to give up the only life I know so you feel safe? Let’s be honest. You wanted the adventure, and you got all of that and more. And even if I turned my back on the people who have been with me for nearly half my life, it doesn’t mean I’m safe. I can’t guarantee that if I came with you and lived in Houston like a normal guy that the Scorpions wouldn’t hunt me down anyway. I just shot the second-in-command, and with help, we took out a good fifty of the gang. That won’t be taken lightly.”

Maya’s eyes widened, and she swallowed hard against the nausea rising in her gut. That was a lot of dead bodies. “I didn’t know it was that many.”

“They came ready for battle, Maya. They were prepared to raze the building and take us all out.” He was still livid, obviously, but he brought his volume down and spoke in an exhausted voice. “We didn’t have a choice. And like you said, they took two of our men with them. You’re right, Cougar was a good man. Did you know Joker, the other Mojave Boy we lost, has been with the club for over thirty years? He was Tiny’s childhood best friend, and they haven’t been separated for more than a few days since they were kids. And Cougar was Donnie’s mentor. That means they were like father and son. I know what it’s like to lose that connection. As far as I’m concerned, they got what they deserved, and it’s still not enough to pay for that loss.”

Maya nodded, her heart sinking as she grew sicker. “So, you condone severe violence as a means of justice. Vance, you lost two men, and as much as I liked Cougar, how can you honestly believe that two men dead warrants killing dozens in cold blood?”

He crossed his arms, standing confidently in his decision. “That’s what they wanted to do to us. My single infraction, which really isn’t even an infraction, was good enough reason for them to come in with guns blazing to kill all of us.”

“And you hate them!” Maya threw back. “Why would you want to be like them?” He didn’t answer, and Maya knew she couldn’t stand here much longer. She threw the door open and flew past Dusty, heading for the bathroom. She heaved and hurled until her stomach was empty, and then the dry heaves came. Eventually, the muscle spasms stopped, and she sat back against the wall, exhausted to her core.

She looked up to find Vance standing in the doorway, watching her. She didn’t have a choice in this anymore. Her decision was made, and she pushed to her feet. Vance deserved to hear this face-to-face without having to crouch down to her level. “Vance, I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

She saw on his face that he knew what she meant, but he still asked, “Can’t do what, Maya?”

She gestured around them to include the entire situation. “I can’t stay here, with you. I can’t submit myself to the lifestyle, watching the violence, seeing people get hurt or killed on my behalf, worrying that you’re going to be next. As much as I want to be with you and have a life with you, it can’t be this one. And I know you can’t live outside of it. It’s not who you are, and I wouldn’t ask you to change if I could. I care about you, and I like you the way you are, Vance.”

He looked away, and she could see him struggling. She hated it. He’d just told her he was falling in love with her, and here she was, getting ready to run out on him. If the circumstances had been different, and if the extreme violence could have been avoided, Maya knew she could have stuck with this. She might have even given up her career for it. But seeing the dead men, right there in front of her, and having names to put with the faces, personalities behind the names, was too much.

Her mind wandered, and she saw Vance like that, cold and dead, and she shuddered. No, she didn’t belong here, and she had to cut her ties now, before something dreadful happened to the man she had begun to fall for. “I’m sorry, Vance.”

“So, you’re just going to give up?” he asked, and his tone broke Maya’s heart. Men like Vance didn’t cry, but he sounded like he was fighting tears with every breath.