Authors: Dawn Atkins
Her heart ached at how he was trying to hide it. It was
nice to feel irreplaceable, but she’d established herself here. She was moving ahead, wasn’t she? She put a palm to her sternum to ease the cramp that seemed to close off her lungs.
While her brothers ate her homemade bread and strained coffee grounds through their teeth, Heidi asked about everyone in town, listening to the stories with an odd melancholy.
Her brothers seemed to be visiting from a faraway world, while she’d gotten trapped in a strange limbo, nowhere near where she’d intended to be. In college, on her own.
Footsteps made her look up to find Jackson standing in the archway holding that ridiculous wrench, his Moons T-shirt splotched with water. “Got that all handled for you, Heidi,” he said in a big, fake voice. “Hope I didn’t disrupt your visit.”
“We’re grateful to you for keeping things in repair,” Mike said, holding out his hand to shake Jackson’s. “I’m Mike.”
“Pleased to meet you, Mike. You can count on me,” Jackson said soberly. “Your sister needs anything, I’m there.”
“We appreciate that,” Mark said, shaking his hand, too. “We sure don’t want to have to worry about whether Heidi’s got hot water for the shower or decent air-conditioning.”
She bristled, listening to them talk about her as if she were an unaccompanied minor being handed off to a flight attendant. “Guys, I’m fine. Really.” She tried to laugh.
“Would you like some coffee?” Mark asked Jackson. “Or some bread. Heidi does the best baking.”
“I know—” He caught himself. “Uh, she lets me sample her…stuff.”
An idea too racy to contemplate explaining. “Help yourself,” she said to him.
He grabbed a slice of bread and she felt him start to sit, then catch himself. “I’d better get going.” He lifted the wrench. “Drips await. Nice meeting you both.” He didn’t even look at her, just hustled off.
“Friendly guy,” Mark said, leaving the words hanging in the air.
Did he hit on you? Do we need to put him in his place?
She sighed, so confused about what she wanted to say, should say, and what her brothers could handle. “Jackson is a great landlord,” she said finally. “A nice guy who helps everyone he knows.” He’d been helping her like crazy. With a place to live, a job, another job, with sex—lots of that—and now with her brothers.
Tell them the story. Tell them about Jackson.
But what exactly was there to tell? Was this love? Could it last? And why had Jackson lied in the first place? Maybe he was as uncertain as she was. She had to talk to him before she talked to her brothers. Maybe at brunch she’d spill it all. Or maybe she’d hold off. By Halloween she’d have more to report. Or maybe this would all be over and done with.
J
ACKSON TOOK OFF
, wrench in hand, completely shaken. Meeting Heidi’s brothers, seeing how concerned they were about her had flipped him out. Had he taken advantage of her innocence, exploited her curiosity? Been the big, bad wolf Autumn had hinted he was being?
He loved her. He wanted her to stay. But that didn’t mean he was good for her. Seeing her through her brothers’ eyes made him wonder. He should talk to her about this…soon.
Or let it drop and hope it all went away, along with her
brothers. He had practice and Heidi was due at the salon. He called her cell a couple of times, and was almost relieved when she didn’t answer. Which wasn’t a good sign. He didn’t want anything to rock this boat they were gently floating in. He didn’t want to answer any of the big questions.
Practice required every ounce of his attention, since Heather was moody and expected to be catered to, his two friends kept saying
whatever
instead of declaring what they wanted, and the drummer had to be cajoled to stick it out the entire session.
For three hours, Jackson tiptoed around personalities, guessed at interests and cobbled moods and motivation together. Focusing on the music helped and somehow they worked up a strong playlist for the gigs Jackson hoped to score this week. The sound was hot, the vibe good, and he saw big possibilities if he handled things right.
Brain-dead from the effort, he returned to the town house, dread in his heart. What was he going to say to Heidi? If only they could forget about her brothers’ visit. He needed her opinion about how he’d handled the touchy aspects of practice, but she’d probably want to hash out what had happened with her brothers and what it meant. He was relieved she wasn’t home yet.
When he finally heard her key in the lock it was almost time to head to work at Moons.
She entered and plopped the backpack her brothers had given her heavily on the table. “I was studying,” she said, but she didn’t sound happy about it. “Or at least trying to. I’m in over my head. Out of the study mindset.” She looked up at him. “How are you? How was practice?”
“Okay. Complicated. But we still have a band.”
They looked at each other, not saying a million things. Finally they spoke at once.
“Did your brothers—?”
“Why did you lie—?”
“You go ahead,” he insisted.
“Why did you lie to my brothers at the door?” she asked, blinking up at him. “Tell them you were just my landlord?”
“Because it was awkward. We were just…you know…doing it.”
“Yeah,” she said, not blaming him at all. “But why didn’t I just say that we live together, that we…that you and I…that we’re…seeing each other?” She looked troubled and confused.
Because you were ashamed.
The thought rolled through him like a bowling ball, knocking down all his pins. Hell, he’d been ashamed
for
her. “Because you were in shock,” he said.
She frowned, nodding slowly. “It’s that they don’t know anything about my life. And it just seemed like so much to tell. At once, right?” She was trying to convince herself.
“Sure,” he said.
“They’re taking me to brunch tomorrow. Maybe I’ll tell them then.”
“Or you could wait,” he said abruptly. “Why upset them? Before everything’s straightened out…in your life, I mean.”
“No. I should tell them. We’re together, right? Aren’t we, Jackson?” She stepped toward him, moved into his arms and he buried his nose in her sweet hair.
“Yeah,” he said, never wanting to let her go. “We’re together. Want me to come with you? Talk to them for you?”
She leaned back and looked up at him. “No. It’s up to
me. Maybe I’ll tell them about the Outback being stolen, too.” She chewed on her lip, nervous as hell. She looked exactly like the uncertain girl who’d stood on his doorstep expecting to move into his town house a month ago.
“If you want me to come, too, just let me know.”
“It’s my problem. I’ll handle it.”
But what exactly would she tell them about him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Heidi rushed to change for work and they set off like usual, except for an odd tension in the air—like a note held too long and too high.
They talked about the MoonDanz practice—she had suggestions for smoothing the rough edges on the band’s personalities—and about the night ahead. Taylor was going to cover for Jackson for a couple hours while he accompanied the band to an audition.
It could have been the jabber of any other night, but there was a whole separate conversation going on.
What are we doing? Are we really together?
God, he hoped so. When he thought about not being with Heidi, the old gloom whistled through him like a leaky window in winter.
When they got to Moons, he noticed Stan was deep in conversation with Dupree and a couple of his shady buddies, which raised the hair on the back of Jackson’s neck. Something fishy going on there. He’d look into it after he got back from the audition later tonight.
By opening time, Jackson was standing at the hostess stand, supposedly greeting customers, but really keeping an eye on Heidi as she flew by. She wore her new clothes—the sexy leotard and rip-away skirt she’d stripped out of for him—but he had fond feelings for the homeless outfit.
She was such a wonder to him. And she made him so
happy. He wanted her in his life. Determination rose, building heat like an engine testing high idle. They needed more time. He’d grab her on her break, take her out back and tell her he loved her, that he wanted to make it work with her. Sure.
“Jackson? Is that you?” The puzzled male voice made him turn toward the entrance, where he saw, to his horror, Heidi’s brother Mark, standing with Mike among a group of men wearing name tags. They were huddled around the hostess stand. His heart slammed into his chest and nausea rose. What the hell were they doing here?
“Hey,” he said, forcing a smile, “Mike and Mark, right? What’s up?”
“We were all headed for dinner—a bunch of us from the mayors’ conference—and I recognized the sign from your shirt.” He pointed at Jackson’s Moons T-shirt. “We figured if you liked the place enough to buy a shirt, it must be good.”
“Ah, well, this is a bar, not a restaurant. And I’m the manager.” He had to get them away from here before they realized where they were or caught sight of Heidi. “There’s a great Thai place up the street. And, let’s see, good Greek food on Seventh Avenue. Not to mention pasta to die for at—”
“Wow.” Mark’s eyes went wide.
Jackson turned to see a dancer stroll by in a tiger-striped leotard.
“Hey, is this a—a—?” Mark started.
“A strip club!” said a third man, one of their group, evidently, since he wore the same name tag. “You guys are pretty dialed in for being from out of town,” he said to Mike, who just stared, wide-eyed.
“This is a strip club?” Mark asked Jackson.
“Yeah, so, uh, you probably don’t want to come in.”
“No, we don’t.” Mike turned for the door.
“Hell, we’ll eat after. This is great,” said the third guy. “There’s even a show.” He slapped down the cover, the rest of the party lining up behind him.
“I think we’ll pass,” Mike said to the guy.
“Come on. Be a man, not a mayor. Two more.” He plunked down cover for the Fields brothers. They looked at each other, Mark shrugged, and they let themselves be swept inside on the wave of social pressure and testosterone.
Jackson led them to tables far in the back, out of sight of Heidi’s section.
“This isn’t our thing, you know,” Mike said to Jackson, obviously embarrassed. “For God’s sake, don’t tell Heidi.”
He grimaced, unable to say a word.
“So…you manage this place?” Mark asked, seeming more intrigued than his brother. “Must be interesting.” He looked around, red-faced, trying to act cool, but clearly shocked.
“It pays the bills,” Jackson said.
Mark brought his gaze back to Jackson’s face. “Listen, I’m actually glad to run into you without Heidi around. We’d appreciate if you’d let us know if she has any problems with the rent or with her roommate, who seems to be AWOL most of the time. She’s so stubborn about asking for help.” He reached into his jacket pocket and handed him a card. “If something comes up, call. Anytime. Anything.”
“Sure,” he said, feeling sick. “Heidi’s a smart woman, though. She knows what she’s doing.” His throat felt dry.
“Even smart women get into trouble,” Mike said, moving in.
“We don’t get why she’s putting off school,” Mark said. He seemed to be the gentler brother.
“We’re afraid she’s losing her way, wasting time.”
“Sure.” With a dead-end job at a strip club and a guy like him? They had a point.
“She’s more insecure than she lets on,” Mark added.
Beyond the brothers and across the stage, he could see Heidi serving beer to a customer, who leaned forward, as if to hear her better, but really to get a shot of cleavage. The guy put a hand at her waist, just acting friendly, but Jackson tensed, wanting to tear the guy apart.
Heidi slid easily away, smiled an “I’m flattered, but hands off” smile, and kept working. Normally, that classy move would have impressed him. But standing beside her gray-faced brothers, he felt like a class-A prick for putting her in a place where such a maneuver was required.
He noticed Rox at a nearby table and motioned her over. “Get these guys whatever they want—on the house.”
The brothers protested his generosity, but he waved away their objections. “Enjoy your evening,” he said to them, then leaned in to Rox. “Make it fast and don’t come back for a second round. I want them out of here quick.”
Then he strode off to warn Heidi, furious with himself for dragging her into this world of borderline sleaze. Meanwhile, her uptight brothers were begging him to keep an eye on her. He had no business with a woman like Heidi. That truth hit him like a carjack in the gut.
Yeah, he was helping her now, but once she was back on her feet—in college or later, once she had a psychology practice—what would she want with him? She’d need a guy with ambition, not a bar manager with a music dream that might go nowhere.
She plain wanted more from the world than he did. He
didn’t want to argue with her, disappoint her. He’d feel bad and then he’d get mad.
He found her at the bar, her tray full of beer steins. “We need to talk,” he said, putting her load back on the bar. “Taylor, get someone else to deliver this.” Jackson guided her into the break room, which was thankfully empty. “Don’t panic, Heidi, but your brothers are here.”
“My brothers?” Her voice squeaked and her eyes went wide.
He explained the situation. “They don’t know you’re here and I set them up at a back table.”
“What a disaster.” She tried to smile, but her pale face was blotched with embarrassment.
“You need to disappear. I’ll take you home on my way to the audition.”
“We’re too busy for me to duck out. I’m not ashamed of being here.” She jutted her chin, but bit her lip, too. “I’ll just go over and make it a joke.”
“Your brothers won’t laugh. And they’re right. This isn’t the place for you.” How had he been so stupid? “You should be working in an office or at least at a decent restaurant, not delivering shots to horny droolers who grab your ass and—”
“No one grabs my ass, Jackson. And until my brothers walked in the door, my being here was perfectly fine with you.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten you into this. Hell, I’m not even a decent landlord. The sink leaks, did you know that?”