With her growing relaxed state, he noted her becoming more uncomfortable and shifting on her feet under his intimate touches. He continued to brush his hands down her arms and changed the subject for her benefit. “I came by today because I wanted to know if you heard the news about Kyler and Ella.”
She nodded, only softness held in the depths of her eyes now. “Cora called a little bit ago and told me.”
“I’m glad.” He spotted how her chin was lowered, her eyes holding his in a gentle embrace. “Would you mind shopping for Sawyer and me, since we are completely clueless as to what we should wear?”
An inner light filled her eyes. “A bunch of useless men, huh?”
“Now, now, I wouldn’t go that far.” Leaning in, he pressed his body closer to hers, loving the way her breath hitched and enjoying the heat emanating off her. He could stay right there, holding her. It came as a surprise how comfortable he was with her outside of Club Sin. He enjoyed having her pressed against him in public. “I would think by now you would know that I’m quite useful.”
She gave a playful wink. “Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her. Surprising him, she hugged him in return, and he wondered if she knew that she was grasping his T-shirt tight. He kissed her cheek and then whispered in her ear, “I’m here for you, Kenzie, if you need me. Not out of obligation, not because of Club Sin, but because I want to be.”
She hugged him tighter. “Just stay for a little bit, okay?”
He locked his arms around her, realizing that he quite possibly needed her as much. Her spicy scent spiraled around him as he kissed the soft part of her neck. “I’m not going anywhere, kitten.”
The next day, Kenzie packed up her suitcase and then headed out the door of the hotel room. Last evening, Porter had stayed with her the rest of the night until she closed up shop. When he’d left, so had she. She hadn’t told him her plans to stay far away from home last night. There was no way in hell she was staying at home by herself, and thankfully she had scheduled her employees to work the weekend shifts. Kenzie then decided to book a night at one of the larger casino’s hotels, thinking a busy location was the safest place for her to be.
Not that she’d gotten much sleep—drunk people in one room next to her were loud and obnoxious, and in the other room on the opposite side there was a couple arguing for a good few hours, keeping her up all night. Even with a pillow over her head Kenzie could not block the noise. Tonight she’d have to find other arrangements. She could deal with a hotel bed, but she needed sleep, especially with all that was going on. The last thing she needed to do was add exhaustion to her already full list of shitty things happening in her life.
Once she checked out of the hotel, she put her overnight bag in the trunk. Earlier in the day, she’d gone for breakfast and then went shopping for herself, and for Porter and Sawyer. Excitement fluttered through her to see the guys’ reaction to what she’d bought for them—Porter a black vest, a fedora, and a silver tie, and Sawyer a red bow tie with matching suspenders. She’d texted both of them telling them,
I’ve got your costume. Get black pants and a white shirt, and you’ll be good to go.
Now dressed in a baby-blue chiffon strapless cocktail dress with a black ribbon at the waist, she was ready to party tonight. She opened her car door, and iciness brushed across her, as did the oddest sense she was being watched. She didn’t think anyone had followed her to the casino last night. Now she questioned herself. Her hands shook as she dropped into her seat, and her hair prickled on the back of her neck as she drove off.
She had to do something about Adrik. She didn’t know what that something was. Selling the store was out of the question, and she wouldn’t be bulldozed by some jerk. She needed to come up with a solution, and she would, but not right now. Tonight she planned to drink her pain, her worries, and her stress all away.
This night belonged to Ella.
Vegas streets went quickly by her window, and she made it to the club in less than twenty minutes. Wasting no time and hating the thought of being alone, she hurried out of her car and approached the bouncer at the door. She showed her ID, and after he waved her in, she stepped into the club and the techno music washed over her. A crowd had already formed on the dance floor at the back of the large square room, and even more people were standing around the bar. She searched the dimly lit room, quickly finding the girls sitting in a booth by the bar.
Kenzie moved through the crowd, and a few men looked her way, but she paid them no attention. They didn’t have that Dominance that she needed—that she craved—and without that edge to them, there was no attraction there.
She realized, with a little surprise, they didn’t have what Porter had. That playful yet powerful personality that could make her melt with one look, drawing her in so rapidly she couldn’t run from it. A slow heat filled her as her thoughts went to Porter and his wicked touches. She shook it off when she reached the girls, and they all smiled at her.
Kenzie opened her arms and said to the beaming Ella, “Oh my God, girl, I’m so excited for you. Hugs, it’s a must.”
Dressed in a very cute black cocktail dress, Ella pushed out of the booth and wrapped her arms around Kenzie. “Thanks, it’s still a shock, but a good shock.” She released Kenzie, showing off her sparkling engagement ring. “I definitely wasn’t expecting to get divorced, pregnant, and remarried in the same month.”
Kenzie laughed, taking a seat at the booth next to Presley, who had her hair up in a bun and wore a red fit-and-flare dress. “Well, there is nothing wrong with doing things the unconventional way.”
Cora added, “I’m pretty sure none of us are what you’d call
conventional.
”
The waitress, wearing a sports bra–like top and a miniskirt, came over to table, and Kenzie said, “I’ll take three shots of whiskey.” As the waitress left, she smiled at the girls, who all gaped at her. “What? Isn’t one of the guys driving us home tonight?”
Cora nodded. “Aidan is picking us up at midnight, but damn, Kenz, I’ve never seen you start out with anything so hard.”
Kenzie knew why she was skipping the wine and going straight for the good stuff. She needed to get drunk. She needed to forget. More than anything, she needed to stop feeling like everyone was watching her. Even now, as she scanned the crowd at the bar and on the dance floor, creepy-crawlies tickled her skin. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the man who attacked her was there tonight. Not wanting to ruin Ella’s night, she forced away the fear deep inside her. “I’m ready to party it up tonight.”
“Apparently,” Presley snorted.
Though that fear couldn’t vanish completely, and while Kenzie knew how important this weekend was for Ella and Kyler—and didn’t want to make it about her and
her
problems—she also wasn’t stupid. She said to Cora, “Speaking of tonight, do you mind if I stay with you and Aidan for a couple days?”
Cora’s brows rose. “Why?”
“I have ants,” she replied, without even thinking about it.
Ella burst out laughing. “You have ants?”
Okay, maybe a bad excuse, but it was the first thing that came to Kenzie’s mind. “Yep, thousands of them. Earlier today I noticed a shitload of ants in my place and it’s gross. I have an exterminator coming in, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather not stay there when those things are crawling all over the place.”
Cora regarded Kenzie, and by her furrowed brows Kenzie knew Cora didn’t believe her. She really did hate that Cora was a social worker and tended to read into people. Though, thankfully, Cora simply nodded. “Of course. You can stay in the spare bedroom for as long as you need.”
“Thanks,” Kenzie replied, relieved.
Ella took a sip of her orange juice from the champagne glass and then exited the booth. “I’m so screwed when this baby gets big. I’m already peeing a thousand times a day.”
Presley chuckled, following her out. “I’ll go with you.”
When the girls left, heading to the bathroom on the other side of the dance floor, the waitress returned with the three shots and placed them in front of Kenzie. She grabbed one, instantly downing it and cringing at the bitter taste. She reached for the other, when Cora leaned in across the table and said, “Are you okay, Kenz? You seem”—she shrugged—“not yourself.”
“Yep. Just dandy.” She downed the next one and winced.
When she reached out to the grab the last shot, Cora’s hand covered Kenzie’s. She said, more sternly now, “What’s wrong?”
Kenzie sighed, knowing she could trust Cora. She loved this group of women, but she never asked for help. She did things on her own and dealt with her own shit. Heavy discomfort slid through her. “I’m a little bit of a mess.”
“Clearly,” Cora said with raised brows. “Is it Porter?”
He was definitely part of the problem. What she felt for him was a bigger part of the problem. “Well, you were right, you know.”
“Right about what?”
“You told me he would never tolerate my being bratty, and yep, he doesn’t, and I’m frustrated. I need an intense scene, but the brute refuses to give me one.” She heaved a sigh, lowering her hand to the table, and Cora kept hers on top. “I need the extreme, and he’s not giving me what I need. Plus, I’m stuck with him unless I safe-word, and we all know I won’t do that.”
“That’s understandable,” Cora said softly. “But just give him what he’s asking for, and he’ll give you what you need.”
By that statement, Cora didn’t obviously understand what he was asking for. He wanted all of Kenzie, she knew that.
Hell,
she felt it in his touch. She recognized that she could lose herself in him, and that loss of control terrified her.
If the strong part of herself went away, what would be left?
She wasn’t sure, and she couldn’t take that risk. Not now. Not when things were as bad as they were. If she let those barriers down, she’d crash and burn, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.
Stay strong.
Cora’s expression became pained, and Kenzie hated to be the one causing that. This conversation was going to a place she didn’t want it to go. She pulled her hand away from Cora’s and downed the other shot, just as Presley and Ella returned to the table. “All right.” She exited the booth and grabbed Ella’s hand. “Pregnant or not, you’re dancing your ass off tonight.”
“Kenzie,” Cora called.
She waved her off, done with this conversation and all the shit that went along with it. “Talking is overrated, Cora. Let’s dance!” Kenzie knew why she didn’t want to talk about it—she had no answers to give. She had never felt unsure in her steps, where nothing made sense. Her personal life was falling apart. Her memories were returning to haunt her. Her professional life was even more disconcerting. And she wasn’t safe, not in any part of her life, and the biggest danger of all was that Porter was hunting her heart.
Porter inhaled the hot evening air and fastened the strap holding the paintballs around his waist. The theme tonight at the paintball field was the zombie apocalypse. Their team was made up of himself, Dmitri, Aidan, Kyler, Sawyer, and Miles. Located at the base of the mountains, the field on the desert floor was spread out like training grounds for the military. Sandbags were placed along the dirt floor, with fences and small buildings to provide shelter. They had all pitched in money to rent the facility tonight for Kyler’s bachelor party, and they planned to go for beers later.
Though Porter’s mind was off zombies and completely focused on Kenzie. He’d never met a more difficult woman in his life. He’d never thought of himself as the forceful type, but the flickers of annoyance rushing like hot lava through his veins were making him wonder if that’s exactly what he needed to be. But that was just his pride talking. His heart wanted Kenzie to share because she wanted to, not because he gave her no other choice.
He fastened his vest as Dmitri asked, “Everything all right? You’re quiet.”
Porter had mixed feelings about sharing what had happened with Kenzie, yet he also didn’t think he had much choice. The frightened state he’d seen her in still remained heavy on his mind. “It’s Kenzie.”
Aidan settled in beside Dmitri. “Is she giving you a hard time as always?”
“Actually, not exactly,” Porter replied.
Dmitri and Aidan stopped doing up their vests and looked at Porter in surprise. Dmitri finally asked, “What’s the problem, then?”
If only Kenzie was being her classic bratty self, then everything would be fine. But she was being the exact opposite. It was fucking with his head. Porter hadn’t expected to get so wrapped up in her, yet he’d also never seen that beautiful side of her. The side he felt compelled to protect. “I’m pretty sure she’s in trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” Sawyer asked, stepping in next to Aidan. “Emotional?”
Porter hesitated, considered, and then shrugged. “I’m certain there is some of that, but this is something else. I think she might be in some type of danger.”
“I can’t imagine a bookstore owner being in danger,” Kyler said, siding up to Sawyer, holding his paintball gun in his hand. “Why do think that?”
Porter did up the other strap of his vest. “I went to her book shop yesterday and found her completely scared shitless.”
Surprise lighted Aidan’s eyes. “A scared Kenzie certainly doesn’t sound like her.” He cocked his head, curiosity drifting across his features. “I wonder if that’s why Kenzie has asked to stay at our place tonight.”
“She has?” Porter asked, alarmed.
Aidan gave a quick nod. “Cora texted me a couple minutes ago to say that she wanted to warn me that it was very likely a drunk Kenzie was coming home with her tonight.”
Concern rushed through Porter’s mind, but what he noticed most was the hot jealousy that Kenzie hadn’t wanted to stay with him, which was ridiculous thinking, he knew that. It also confirmed to him that something was terribly wrong with her. The only reason she wouldn’t stay at her house was if she’d been threatened there. “I’ll keep an eye on it,” he said to the group. “If anything develops, I’ll let you know.”
“Please do,” Kyler replied, resting the barrel of the gun on the ground. “Those girls are ours to protect, aren’t they?”
“Nah,” Porter said, without really thinking about it. “That girl is mine to protect.”
Stunned faces met his, and Porter realized in that split second what he’d said. Kyler finally laughed. “Buddy, you sound like a man who’s falling hard.” At Porter’s silence, Kyler’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “That was a joke.”
Porter knew an attachment was forming with Kenzie. But dammit all to hell, he didn’t want the Kenzie who didn’t come to him when she had a problem or if she was afraid to be in her house. He wanted her to trust him, to depend on him, and, more important, he wanted her to see how much she deserved that.
This façade of hers was beginning to irritate him.
The men around him continued to stare blankly at Porter, so he shrugged. “There’s something there, I won’t deny that. Whether it be just a closer friendship or something more, only time will tell.”
Dmitri grinned from ear to ear, giving Porter a slap on the back. “Well, that was certainly unexpected, but I’m glad. Kenzie’s been alone for too long.”
Good point,
Porter thought, and he wondered why that was. Kenzie was beautiful, smart, strong, vivacious, and practically perfect in his eyes when she let her walls down. He couldn’t figure out why no one else had seen all that in her. “I…” He hesitated, not wanting to share too much, but trusting these men also.
Being with Kenzie started out as a way for him to get his Club Sin Master status; now it had become so much more. His Dom liked how she melted in his touch, how she reacted differently to him than she did anyone else. It made him curious about her, about what could develop between them if he broke down the barriers she kept up. “I like the woman that she shows only me, not the bratty one she shows everyone else.”