Tales from the Hood (19 page)

Granny and Daphne rushed into the house. Sabrina waited in the car and watched the light flash on in Mirror’s room. They must have been picking up something in the Hall of Wonders. When they returned, they explained their plan to the rest of the group.

Puck was ecstatic. “It’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to pull a good prank,” the boy crowed.

“You filled my pillow with horse manure four days ago,” Sabrina reminded him.

“Four days is a long time,” he replied.

Robin Hood and Little John pulled up outside the house and honked the horn.

“That’s them,” Granny said. “Let’s go.”

Uncle Jake backed the car out of the driveway, made sure the lawyers were right behind him, and then drove the family through the country roads of Ferryport Landing. Granny navigated with the help of a tattered map.

“I didn’t know anything about an amusement park dedicated to the Red Riding Hood story,” Uncle Jake said.

“Years ago Dr. Doolittle ran a petting zoo on the property, but it went bankrupt when the animals went on strike,” Granny said. “Apparently, Hatchett bought up the land. I have to wonder how much money he makes on the place. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, and, to be honest, I hadn’t heard a word about it until this morning.”

“Well, we’re about to find out,” Uncle Jake said, pointing ahead. “There it is.”

The amusement park looked more like a shrine to Hatchett than a place for a family to spend the day. A twenty-five-foot-tall statue of Hatchett himself greeted everyone at the front entrance. To get into the parking lot, the cars had to drive between the statue’s legs. Uncle Jake pulled the car through just as it backfired and sent a cloud of black smoke upward, staining the statue’s pants. In the parking lot they found a dozen more statues of Hatchett, including one where he stood triumphantly over a cowering wolf.

“This guy sure does love himself,” Little John said as he and Robin got out of their car.

“He’s the idol of millions, remember?” Sabrina said sarcastically.

“How do we get in?” Puck asked.

Uncle Jake pointed to a path with a sign above it that read
THIS WAY TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
!

The group followed the path until they came to a gate with several turnstile entrances. To the right was a store. A sign above it read the big bad gift shop. Sabrina spotted movement through one of the store’s windows and led everyone inside. Her entrance triggered a mechanical wolf’s howl that came from a dusty speaker mounted above the door. A pimply faced teenager behind the counter put down his handheld video game and approached the group. When he reached them, Sabrina noticed he was wearing a hat with big wolf ears on it.

“Welcome to Hatchettland,” he said in a well-rehearsed voice. “Are you here to visit the museum or just stopping by to stock up on all our popular Woodcutter-brand products like our gourmet Woodcutter Wasabi?”

“Actually, we were hoping we could have a word with Mr. Hatchett himself,” Granny said.

“He’s down at the house,” the teenager said.

“The house?” Sabrina asked.

“It’s at the end of the path. If you want to see him, you have to buy tickets.”

Granny sighed but purchased enough tickets to get everyone into the park. Once past the turnstiles they saw a sign that read
WHERE IT ALL HAPPENED. GRANNY’S HOUSE
! They hurried down a dirt path surrounded by forest. As they walked, speakers attached to trees told the story of Little Red Riding Hood and how Hatchett’s bravery had saved her life and the lives of countless others. The speakers crackled loudly, giving Sabrina a major headache.

At the end of the path there was a small wooden shack with a brick chimney. It looked rundown and drafty, with broken windows and vines growing up the walls to the roof. At odds with its appearance was the bright, blinking neon sign above its door that read
GRANNY’S HOUSE
.

“What’s this?” Sabrina asked.

Hatchett stepped through the front door. He looked startled to find the group waiting for him, but he quickly composed himself and gestured at the meager building.

“This is the house,” Hatchett announced.

“What house?”

“
The
house. This is where it all happened. This is Red Riding Hood’s grandmother’s house.”

“You built a model of it?” Uncle Jake asked.

“No, this is the actual house. I had it disassembled and shipped piece by piece to Ferryport Landing,” he said.

“Whatever for?” Granny asked.

“’Cause this is a bona fide, moneymaking tourist attraction. Do you know how many people know the story of Red Riding Hood? People read about it in every nation of the world and there are a lot of them that would pay a pretty penny to visit the actual place. Want to go inside?”

Sabrina wasn’t sure. If the stories were true, then horrible things had happened inside the little shack. It gave her chills just thinking about it, but Hatchett wouldn’t take no for an answer. He opened the door and urged everyone to come inside.

The house was one room with a dirt floor. There was a crude table and a chair in the corner and a small bed on the other side of the room. A dressing gown lay on a tattered quilt on the bed. The fireplace was ablaze and a cast-iron pot hung above the flames. Other than the fire, the room was dark, and the firelight created shadows that slithered along the walls. Sabrina was completely unnerved. She imagined she heard distant screams echoing around the room, until she realized the screams were real and coming from a speaker in the corner of the room.

“Every time I come in here, it’s like I’m transported to that day,” Hatchett said.

“Good to know,” Little John said. “’Cause we’ve got some questions about it.”

“I’ve said all I’m going to say on this matter. If you want to know more, you can read my book. It’s called
Facing the Fangs: One Man’s Journey into the Jaws of Death
. It’s for sale in the gift shop. It got a starred review from
Publishers Weekly
.”

“Congratulations,” Robin Hood said. “But we don’t have time to read your book. A man’s life is in jeopardy.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hood.” Hatchett said. “I wish I could give you details, but the truth is it was a very long time ago. All that I really remember is that it changed me into the man I am today. When you become a hero, the little things just aren’t that important.”

“I had a feeling you would say that,” Granny said. “Children, would you like to step outside and get some air?”

Sabrina recognized the code the group had worked out beforehand. It was time to get down to business and Puck couldn’t have been more excited. He dragged the girls out of the shack and closed the door behind him.

“Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This is going to be so much fun!” Puck shouted.

Daphne took a long, thin wand from her purse. It had a shiny silver star at the end. “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt at all.”

“Will it make me strong like the Wolf?”

“Sorry,” Daphne said. “Fairy Godmother wands don’t work like that. You’ll just look like him; you won’t have any of his powers.”

“Or his twisted desires, so don’t try and eat anyone,” Sabrina added.

“You’re no fun,” Puck replied. “If only I could do this without a wand—boy, the trouble I could get into. I can shape shift into a wolf on my own, but old Big and Bad is his own breed; I’d never be able to do it justice. How long will this last?”

“I’m giving you ten minutes,” Daphne said. “After that you’ll be back to your old self, so don’t goof off. We need to get him talking and fast.”

“Lay it on me, sister,” Puck said.

Daphne flicked the wand and smacked Puck on the head. The boy winced. “I thought you said this wouldn’t hurt!” But before he could complain any further, a change came over him. Hair sprouted from every pore. Fangs grew in his mouth. Talons popped out of his fingers and toes. He grew several feet and put on hundreds of pounds of muscle. Seconds later, his transformation was complete. He looked exactly like the Big Bad Wolf.

“Did it work?” Puck asked as he peered down at himself.

“You look just like him,” Sabrina said with a shudder. She was still handcuffed to Puck, and his new shape made her recoil in fear. She had to take several deep breaths to calm down.

“All right, let’s go introduce you to Hatchett,” Daphne said as she put away the wand.

Puck nodded. “Wait, let me roar. He’ll lose his mind if I roar.” Puck let out a long, goofy howl that sounded nothing like a wolf.

“You might want to skip the howl,” Sabrina said.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Puck complained.

The children entered the little house. Instantly, Hatchett fell to the floor, scampered into a corner, and screamed like a baby.

“Remember me?” Puck growled, pushing Hatchett down with his paws.

“How did you get out of jail?” Granny cried, though her acting left a lot to be desired.

“No jail can hold me. I’m the Big Bad Wolf. The only person meaner than me is Puck, the Trickster King,” Puck said. “That kid is mean. But I’m running a close second.”

Sabrina kicked him in the leg. “Cool it, fairy boy.”

“What do you want from me?” Hatchett cried.

“Oh, I don’t know, a leg bone would be nice,” Puck said, attempting his goofy roar again.

“Tobias!” Hatchett said. “Get ahold of yourself. Fight the monster, Tobias. It’s me, Howard!”

“Who’s Tobias?” Little John asked.

“You’re Tobias, Tobias Clay,” Hatchett jabbered to the Wolf. “You’re a woodcutter. You hired me to be your apprentice. You’re a good man. Please don’t eat me!”

Puck looked to the family and even in his Wolf form he looked confused. Sabrina knew how he felt.

“Maybe if you tell us the truth the Wolf will have some mercy,” Uncle Jake stammered, obviously trying to sustain the illusion.

“The truth! Yes, I’ll tell the truth. Tobias and I were working in the forest collecting wood for the local mill. I had only been working for him for a few weeks, but I was already surpassing his skill.”

Puck growled.

“OK! You were about to fire me. I was goofing off, taking breaks, and making you do all the work. You had given me one last chance, but I didn’t care,” Hatchett said. “I hated cutting down trees.

“We were working in one of the darker parts of the forest when we heard a scream. You wanted to go check it out but I told you to forget about it. The woods were dangerous. It could have been anything—bandits, witches, goblins. I told you we would be fools to investigate, but you wouldn’t listen. So we tramped through the forest until we came upon the house. There was a horrible storm directly above it. I was sure the house was going to blow away.”

“So what did you do?” Daphne said. “And don’t lie. Our friend hasn’t had his lunch yet, you know.”

Hatchett squealed and trembled, but he continued. “Tobias dragged me to the hut and we looked inside. There was the old woman, and one look at her was all I needed to know she was a witch.”

“A witch?” Robin cried.

“That can’t be!” Granny shouted.

“It’s true! She was shouting and screaming and blowing into this little flute. Every time she did a wind broke out in the room, blowing everything this way and that. It was almost like she was standing in the middle of a tornado, but she was untouched. In fact, there was only one other thing in the room that wasn’t in danger—a rabid wolf inside a steel cage.

“The wolf was snarling and howling. You could tell it was sick because it was foaming at the mouth. You saw a lot of these animals out in the forest back then. I’d learned to steer clear of them. Rabies causes a madness to come over them, and if they bite you it can infect you as well.”

“What was she doing to the wolf?” Robin asked.

“It’s still hard to describe, but she was kind of splitting the animal into two pieces,” Hatchett explained.

“Gross!” Daphne exclaimed.

“Not physically!” Hatchett said. “The wind seemed to be pulling the madness out of the animal . . . like she was taking the bad stuff out of it. She pulled the wolf’s dark self out of it and it was now its own animal. It was made out of shadows and viciousness. The old woman trapped it in a clay jar and put a stopper on it. Then the wind faded as if it had never been there. Once it was gone, the wolf in the cage was as tame as a golden retriever.”

“Get to the point!” Puck growled, bearing his wolf fangs. “We don’t care about some regular wolf. When did I show up?”

“Let him finish, Puck . . . I mean, Wolf,” Uncle Jake said.

“Back then magic was something people feared, so I begged Tobias to leave. We were getting set to go and get some help when the little girl arrived.”

“Red Riding Hood?” Robin asked.

Hatchett nodded. “She came skipping up to the house and knocked on the door. The witch told her to come inside and she did. They hugged and I realized the witch was the child’s grandmother. A moment later, the old woman was helping the child into one of the empty cages and turning her wind machine on. That’s when Tobias decided to act. He was really brave. He didn’t give it a second thought. He just stormed into the house and attacked the witch. I’d never seen anything like it. They fought like animals until Tobias knocked that clay jar out of the witch’s hand. It shattered on the ground and then—well, you wanted to know when the Big Bad Wolf showed up? That’s when it happened.”