Authors: Molly McAdams
“Brandon, I –”
He brushed his
thumb over my lips and slowly shook his head, “I was stupid.” His voice was
soft but rougher than usual, “So stupid. I missed fighting, and hated that
people thought I stopped because I was scared. When he called –” his eyes
briefly left mine as he tried to search for words, “it was like what happened
last year was nothing, just another minor injury. I felt like I needed to prove
something to myself, to Scarecrow, to Demon…everyone. I knew leaving was about
the worst thing I could do, and I knew you would hate me when I got home, but I
couldn’t stop. I had to go, I had to fight.
“I felt sick as
soon as the fight was over, I knew I’d fucked up. I should have felt that the
minute you stepped away from me when you realized what was happening, but I’d
been too wrapped up in it all to even absorb what you were saying to me until
it was done. I got here as fast as possible, ready to get on my knees and beg
you to forgive me for doing that to you…it never occurred to me you’d be gone.”
The pain in his eyes was tearing at me and he had to take a few deep breaths
before continuing, “We tried calling you dozens of times, Jeremy went to Mom’s
house to look for you, the rest of us went to Robert and Claire’s. Claire lost
it when she realized she’d let both of you just leave. No one had any idea
where you would have gone. God Harper, I thought I’d never see you or Liam
again. You, Liam and the baby are my world. I don’t know how to live without
you. I know I messed up, I know I hurt you, but please don’t do that to me
again. I love you more than my own life Harper. I’m so sorry for hurting you.”
I studied his
face as I spoke, “I felt like you didn’t care about us enough, if you would go
and do something like that, without a thought as to how it could hurt our
family.”
Brandon’s eyes
shut tight and he dropped his head into the crook of my neck, breathing in
deep. “That couldn’t be fur–”
“Brandon?
Harper?!”
We sat up at
Bree’s shrill voice and were off the bed before she got to the room. Taking
four long steps toward us, her palm connected with my face before I even
registered her hand swinging back.
“Breanna!”
Konrad yelled and reached for her.
Brandon cupped
my cheeks gently, his eyes wide with shock, fear and anger. Before he could say
or do anything, Bree was pulling me into her arms for a too-tight embrace.
“You can’t do
that.” She cried and clutched me even tighter, “You can’t leave. We thought –
we thought you were gone for good. You made me go so you could leave! Why
wouldn’t you tell me? You’re my sister, you can’t just leave. I’ve been going
crazy looking for you, Mom and Dad are so upset –” She continued to ramble
until her body was shaking.
“Shh.” I ran my
hand through her short hair, “It’s okay Bree. I’m not going anywhere.” After
sitting both of us on the bed, I rubbed small circles on her back and let her
cry. Looking at Konrad and Brandon, I realized how much every one of us in our
ever-growing, mismatched family needed each other. There was so much loss for
everyone that we all clung to each other for one reason or another. Anything we
did immediately affected the rest of us, something I should have taken into
consideration before trying to avoid my husband for a little over a day.
Bree sobs
turned to hiccups not long after and she pulled back to look at me, “I’m sorry
for slapping you, I can’t believe I did that.”
The corners of
my mouth tilted up, “I think I deserved that one friend.”
“Okay, yeah.
You really did.” She made a weak attempt at laughing, “When did you come back?”
“About half an
hour before you showed up. Sorry for worrying all of you.”
“Oh! We have to
call Mom and Dad!” She started scrambling around for her purse.
“I let them
know.” Konrad said from the doorjamb where he was talking to Brandon.
“Mom and Jer
know too.” Brandon added, “I’m guessing we have another twenty or so minutes
before they all start getting here to talk to you. Would you two give us a
minute?”
Bree took
Konrad’s outstretched hand before turning back to look at me, “Where’s Liam?”
“He’s napping.”
Brandon answered and said something low to Konrad, who nodded and led Bree from
the room.
Walking to me
slowly, he brushed his fingers across the cheek that still stung and pressed
his lips there softly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Are
you?”
“You’re back,
so yes I am.” His fingers gently tilted my head back so I was looking into his
eyes, “I love you Harper Taylor, and I love our family. Please don’t ever doubt
that again.”
I wrapped my
hands around his neck and brought his face closer to mine, “I won’t.” My body
buzzed when I pressed my lips to his for the first time since Saturday.
Brandon lowered
us onto the bed, careful to keep most of his weight off me while still pressing
his firm body to mine. He grabbed my left hand with his right, placing our
intertwined fingers above my head, his lips moving down to my neck. When I
reached for his shirt with my free hand, he rolled so I couldn’t move it and
whispered against my skin, “Just let me convince myself that you’re here.”
My arm wrapped
around his broad shoulders when his mouth covered mine again, and we continued
to lay there kissing soft and slow until our families started arriving. With
one last lingering kiss, we left the comfort of our bedroom and went to face
our extremely upset families.
And I’d thought
Bree had been mad.
After thirty
minutes of Carrie, Jeremy, Dad and Mom yelling at me for leaving the way I did,
then crying that I was back, everyone finally calmed down enough to actually
talk things out rationally. Apparently Brandon had been ripped into by every
member of our family Saturday night and yesterday for being stupid enough for
even considering the fight, let alone going. No one cared that he won or that
he’d made a lot of money, the risk of him getting hit in the face again was
just too great for him to have taken so carelessly. And I was glad I wasn’t the
only one who seemed to be pissed off at him for taking it. But my disappearance
had taken over most of everyone’s anger as they all searched for me and Liam.
They’d looked
early into the morning Sunday, and Brandon continued to every motel and hotel
in the immediate area until the family gathered again early Sunday afternoon.
After dividing up the lists of numbers, each person called the same places he’d
checked, as well as the rest of the hotels, motels, inns and bed and breakfasts
within one hundred miles. By the time the family left again Sunday night, Brandon
went back out looking for my car because he guessed correctly that by using
cash I’d gotten a room under an alias. When that still brought no results, he’d
called Carter
and
driven by his house to see if he’d been lying when he
informed Brandon he hadn’t heard from me. Coming up empty again, he’d come back
home at ten this morning and had been lying on the floor of Liam’s bedroom
calling my phone every five minutes, waiting for it to be turned back on. He
hadn’t slept since Friday night, and it showed in everything he was currently
doing.
Seeing his
exhaustion, our family started trickling out of the house, each one feeling the
need to reprimand Brandon and me one last time for both being careless. After
going back and forth with Carrie, she finally got her way and took a sleeping
Liam home with her for the night. Brandon panicked at the thought of his son
being gone from him again, but Carrie looked up at Brandon with an
I’m still
your mother don’t mess with me
face and told him after we’d gotten some
much needed sleep, she’d be back in the morning with him. Konrad told Brandon
he’d take care of the gym tomorrow, and with a final hug from him and Bree, we
were alone.
I grabbed my
husband’s hand and led him to our bedroom, he hadn’t put a shirt on when everyone
got here, so after undressing myself and helping him out of his jeans, I helped
him fall onto the bed and climbed in beside him. He threw an arm over my waist
and buried his head into my neck, pressing a soft kiss there. The muscles in
his back and shoulders relaxed when I began running the tips of my fingers over
his buzzed head and down his neck, with a muffled “I love you”, he was sound
asleep within a minute. His deep rhythmic breathing had my eyes heavy and
closing not long after.
***
My body jerked
awake and I sat up confused when I didn’t hear Liam crying, either of our
phones going off, and Brandon’s breaths were still heavy and relaxed. Being
careful not to move Brandon, I crept down the hall to Liam’s room and almost
had a heart attack when his crib was empty. Before I could scream for Brandon,
I remembered Carrie took him home this afternoon and started back for my bed. I
froze when I heard the door knocker, and my already increased heart rate took
off in a dead sprint. Tiptoeing to the bedroom and throwing on one of Brandon’s
shirts, I crept back down the hall and warily took a peak at the side windows.
“Jesus Carter,”
I sighed and swung the door open, “you scared the crap out o–.” my words and
breath rushed out when he squeezed me tightly.
“Thank God
you’re okay.”
I tapped his
shoulder until he let me go with an awkward grin, “I’m fine. What are you doing
here? What time is it?” It wasn’t fully dark outside, but that didn’t help
much.
“Almost eight?”
He looked at me like I should know this.
“Brandon and I
were sleeping, your knocking woke me up.”
“Is he still
asleep?”
“Mhmm.” Which
reminds me…I’m standing in a darkened house with Carter in nothing but a shirt.
No bra, no underwear. Just a shirt that grazes the top of my thighs. Folding my
arms somewhat under, but still over my chest, I looked down to make sure the
rest of me was still covered and asked again, “What are you doing here Carter?”
“I wanted to
talk to you, alone if that’s okay.”
Mashing my lips
together, I stepped out of the way and waved him in. I led him to the living
room, turning on a few lamps on the way and sat on the chair opposite the sofa
he was seated on. “So let’s talk.”
“Are you okay?”
“Carter, I told
you I’m fine.”
“Okay, I know.
But you were really upset Saturday night, and then you just disappear?
Obviously this fight was something Brandon shouldn’t have done if you’d leave,
so I was surprised when Konrad said you were back.”
“Leaving was a
really immature thing to do.”
“But you did it
Blaze. And that’s why I need to talk to you.”
Oh no.
“Look,” he
began again and rested his elbows on his knees, “I know I said I wouldn’t do
anything since you’re married, but if you feel like you need to get out Blaze,
I’ll help you with that. If you’re afraid of Brandon, all you have to do is
tell me and I’ll do everything I can to get you away from here.”
“Oh my God.
Carter. You have taken this way out of proportion. I do not want to get out of
my marriage and I definitely don’t want to leave Brandon.”
“You
left.
People
don’t just leave their husbands unless something is wrong Blaze.”
I wanted to
tell him he should know, but I kept that back, “I didn’t leave Brandon, I just
needed a minute to think.”
“About how bad
he is for you? He hurt you, that was extremely apparent Saturday night. And did
you see him throw his brother into the wall? I know we’ve talked about this
before, but he’s dangerous Harper. He’s a fucking bomb just waiting to
explode.”
“You’re wrong.”
I whispered and shook my head, “You’re so wrong Carter. The few times you’ve
hung out with him haven’t been the best times, but even you should see how
wrong you are. That night at the party, he didn’t hit you when he had every
right to. He let you become a member at his gym and invited you to our home for
a barbecue. I have the sweetest, most caring and selfless husband in the world.
Yes, he likes to fight, and yes he’s extremely protective of his family. But I
love that he is.”
“Blaze, the way
he is with you –”
I held up my
hand to stop him, “Don’t finish that. Do you not remember me telling you I
cheated on him and got pregnant with his friend and housemate? He didn’t even
yell at me when he found out Carter. He was devastated, but he didn’t raise his
voice or call me a million things that I was already calling myself. Then he took
care of me when I wouldn’t take care of myself, and despite everything I did to
him, he’s still here with me.”
“So that’s it.
You’re with him out of guilt? You feel like you owe him something?”
“Of course
not!” I hissed and narrowed my eyes at him, “I love him more than anything. He
is everything to me. When we broke up, I felt so lost. I tried moving on with
my life the way I knew I should, and I would have happily, had Chase not died.
But no matter what, being happy with Chase or not, a few months without Brandon
by my side was painful and incomplete. I couldn’t even imagine a life without
him.”
“Alright, I’m
sorry I shouldn’t have said that. But that doesn’t change the way he is with
you. He doesn’t let a guy even come near you without threatening to beat him to
a pulp.”
I rolled my
eyes at his dramatics, “Not true, only you and Chase. You know how I am Carter,
I need to be surrounded by guys. And not in a slutty way. Growing up with
hundreds of brothers, it was only natural for me to find all that here. Other
than Bree and the girls in her and Brandon’s families, I don’t have female
friends. They are all male, and Brandon doesn’t have a problem with that
because he knows that’s home for me. There have even been a few that have
flirted, and Brandon didn’t do anything other than laugh about it. But you?
Well you openly admitted to everyone that you followed me across the country
and that you were in love with me. Even if you lied about it, and I bought it,
he knew from the beginning what was going on. And to make it worse, he and
Chase were already constantly fighting over me. Which I also had no idea about.
I found that out not long ago by accident.” Taking a deep breath, I sank into
the cushions and covered myself with a blanket, “So he tried to keep the two
guys that also loved me away from me, what boyfriend wouldn’t?”