Sworn to Protect (Vows of the Heart) (25 page)

“Two days?”

“You’ve been out of it that long. You were hurt bad…and Bethany….”

“Bethany blamed herself. Damn it, Nathan, you shouldn’t have let her leave.” He lay back on the bed, fighting the pain, fighting the grief welling within him. How could she do this? How could she just leave him?

“Ethan, she was terrified.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I’ve seen what that thing does to her.”

“God, I was so afraid you wouldn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t know if I believe myself.”

Ethan battled to sort through his torrid his emotions
, but they tangled with the agony coiling within him. Why? Why did she leave him? He knew the answer, but his broken heart would not allow him to acknowledge it. He felt as if he fell, spiraling into nothingness.

“Ethan?” Nathan called
, but his voice sounded distant. “Ethan! Damn it, stay with me!”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t fight any longer. The pain was too much.

“Ethan! Don’t do this. I think I know how to get her back.”

His descent stopped.

“She didn’t want to leave, but thanks to that damn…thing…she put everything on her own shoulders.”

Ethan clawed his way back. “She blames herself for Cordova torturing me.”

Nathan breathed a soft sigh. “I think we can get her back, but you have to heal first. I need you on your feet.”

“All right,” he said
, but grief and hurt plagued him.

“I’m going to make you some soup.”

“Nathan, did you check the laptop?”

He shook his head. “No, I had to give you blood. I’ve been too out of it to do much more.”

“Give me blood?”

“Never mind. Let me go get you some soup.”

Days later, Ethan was finally able to crawl out of bed for the first time. But he hesitated in the middle of the room as the floor seemed to undulate. Ethan grabbed a bedpost to steady himself. His heart still screamed in agony. The hurt within him did not fade. Only Nathan’s promise, that he could convince Bethany to return, gave him any hope. But Ethan still had no idea how he planned to do that.

The greater source of pain was that he knew Bethany blamed herself for something that was of his doing, not hers. But why in the hell had Aaron showed up? Ethan knew she would have stayed if it hadn’t been for that damn
ed ghost. Ethan had genuinely thought it had been chasing her away from danger. But maybe, when he had fallen through the door so terribly wounded, maybe it brought a return of her nightmare of his wounds renewed. Bethany’s nightmare had caused her to blame herself for the torture Ethan had suffered. No doubt seeing him broken and bleeding would bring that nightmare to the fore.

He saw the backpack he had carried on the small desk in the room. Unsteadily, he walked to it, nearly falling as he grabbed the chair. He sat and quickly pulled out the laptop. It was nicked and battered, appearing as if...well...as if it had been through a car wreck. But when he opened the top and hit the power button, it booted up despite the damage.

Ethan opened the first file which automatically requested a password. Pulling out the small digital camera he had used, he loaded the photos onto the computer and opened those files as well. One by one, he began to input the codes. There were quite a few, it would take him awhile.

Over an hour later, Ethan stared at the file in shock. He had found the right password and opened the huge document. There was much more than just lists of bribed people
, but right now, Ethan was only interested in names. Although, he had to admit he never imagined Cordova had bribed so many. There were names of judges, and senators, as well as city officials.

As Ethan paged through the document repeatedly, a sense of desperation filled him. Nowhere was anyone in the ATF
, the U.S. Marshals, or any other federal law enforcement agency listed.

“This can’t be,” he whispered.

He opened all the files he had downloaded. There was enough information to put Cordova and others away for several lifetimes. But he found nothing proving Cordova had paid people in the ATF and Marshals. He found nothing that would clear him.

“No,” he choked. “It has to be here.” His stunned disbelief melted into rage. But the more he looked, the less he saw. “God, no! This isn’t possible.” Fury ignited his blood and he jumped to his feet, knocking the chair backward. With a strangled oath of rage, he kicked it away. Agony cut through his side and he gasped, his rage quickly fading with the pain.

Ethan found himself standing in the middle of the room shaking violently. He stared at the battered laptop on the desk, its screen glowing with its information. He had been so certain those files would prove his innocence, that he could discover the mole both in the ATF and the Marshal’s office. He had risked everything to get them, and had returned half dead. Because he had been so willing to sacrifice himself, he had inadvertently sacrificed his relationship with Bethany. She had fled believing she put him at risk.

A
ll for what?

Absolutely nothing.

He covered his face with shaking hands. “Oh God, what have I done?”

Now he was left with nothing. Bethany had fled, because she said she couldn’t risk his wellbeing even though it wasn’t her fault.

She wasn’t the one putting him at risk – he did it to himself.

“God forgive me.”

****

Bethany and Tommy arrived at Nathan’s cabin in Aspen at two the next morning. She was absolutely exhausted and her nerves were ready to snap. Tommy had been pleasant company
, but when she learned on the flight that he was married and had a four year old daughter and a baby on the way, she felt terrible about forcing him to leave his family. Tommy tried to reassure her, but never quite succeeded.

Nathan had also given her one of his laptop computers, telling her to email him daily or he would come looking for her. He also gave her plenty of cash, although it was doubtful she would need it.

At the airport, Tommy rented an SUV, and they stopped to buy groceries for the cabin. Upon arrival, Bethany was shocked to see not a quaint little cabin, but a huge split-level chalet.

They walked through the door and Tommy stopped, punching in a code on the alarm panel. It was a state of the art system. Upon entering, they had to dodge a huge pile of mail which had been deposited through the door slot.

“Four years is a long time,” Tommy said softly, stepping around the mountain.

“I take it Nathan left and never looked back.”

Tommy nodded. “The day we gave up the search, he walked out. I stayed with the team and helped close the place up. We all knew he was never coming back.”

“Never?”

Tommy shrugged. “Unless something happens to turn his life around, but even then, I kind of doubt it.”

He entered the living room and pulled dust covers off the furniture. It was all brand new, in perfect condition; an expensive sofa, chairs, coffee table, lamps, and a giant entertainment system with a huge flat screen TV.

Bethany stared in awe. “Wow, he really went all out.”

“Yeah,” Tommy replied with a grin. “Nathan doesn’t know the meaning of overkill.”

She chuckled, helping him fold the covers.

“I’ll bring in the groceries and suitcases. Upstairs you’ll find the bedrooms and they are just the same. You take the master bedroom and I’ll take one of the guest rooms. There should be linens in the closet up there.”

Bethany nodded and trudged up the stairs.

They finally got everything settled and ate a light dinner. Tommy showed her how to work the alarm system. She went to bed about an hour before dawn. She prayed she was so tired that sleep would come quickly, but it didn’t. She couldn’t help but think about Ethan. Was he all right? Had Nathan told him what happened? Did he believe her? Did he understand or did he hate her for leaving him? She squeezed her eyes closed fighting back tears, refusing to acknowledge the huge hole in her heart.

Damn it, she missed him.

Bethany found herself jumping at every little noise. Good grief, she had to relax. She was perfectly safe here, in a house with the best alarm system money could buy. Tommy was a former Navy SEAL for crying out loud. He was just as qualified to protect her as anyone. But the security she had once felt with Ethan nearby had vanished.

She buried her face in her pillow, tears flowing down her cheeks. Ethan wasn’t here, she had to accept that. Why then did it have to hurt so much?

****

Ethan’s body healed and he started a hard regimen of exercise, especially sit-ups in order to strengthen the damaged muscles in his side. But the pain within him never went away, it only grew worse. It had nothing to do with the injury, and everything to do with Bethany. Ethan was beside himself with worry. What if Aaron showed up and Bethany ran again? What if Cordova found her? He pleaded with his brother to tell him where she was.

On the morning of day thirty
after Bethany’s disappearance, Ethan completed his exercises, took a shower, and dressed. He had made his decision and there was no going back now. Summoning his resolve, he left his room and walked down the hall.

His brother sat in front of the computer like always. Ethan marveled that he didn’t grow roots. Upon entering the living room, Nathan glanced up then quickly blanked his screen.

Ethan scowled. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Nathan replied. “Just fiddling with a few things.”

Ethan grabbed a chair and turned it around so he straddled it, his arms resting on the back. “Nathan, we need to talk.”

His brother arched an eyebrow at him. “You’re moving a lot better.”

“I can’t stand this any longer. I have to talk to Bethany and find out if there is still a chance for us.” He paused and cleared his throat.

“I know, Ethan, and I’m sorry. The only reason why I didn’t tell you before was because you weren’t healed. If you knew where she was, you would have taken off on me too.”

“Yeah.”

“Plus,” Nathan said with a grin. “I needed some time to soften her up.” He turned his screen back on and shifted it enough so Ethan could see it. “She misses you. I hoped that the more time that passed, the more she might question her decision to leave – and she’s doing just that.” He clicked so an email made a small window over the others he had open.

Ethan quickly read the email. Bethany indeed questioned her decision about leaving. He breathed small sigh of relief. Maybe there was still a chance for them.

Movement on one of the background windows distracted Ethan from the email and he scowled.

“Security vids?”

“Yeah. I set up hidden cameras around the apartment complex a couple of days ago.” He clicked. “Here’s the corridor and my front door.” A second click. “The stairs out front and….” Another series of clicks. “All four corners of the building. No one is getting past me.” He paused and scowled. “In fact….” He expanded a window and hit a button so the camera zoomed in.

Ethan saw a man in jeans and a simple cotton jacket. There was nothing special about him, but Ethan’s instincts suddenly screamed. “What the hell?”

“Glad to see you’ve got a good dose of my paranoia, bro. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck
—”

“It’s one of Cordova’s goons,” Ethan snapped and jumped to his feet.

****

Bethany had averaged only two hours of fitful dozing per night since her arrival at the cabin. She had tried everything to fall asleep at night
, but nothing worked. She had left Ethan because she feared she put him in danger. In spite of her actions, her nightmare of Ethan dying in her arms only grew worse and more vivid.

Unknown to Bethany
, until after her arrival, Nathan had gifted her with a .40 caliber Glock semi-automatic with a laser sight and Tommy to instructed her how to use it.

The cabin sat on several acres of land and Nathan had set up a small target range in back. She went out with Tommy every day and learned how to handle a gun safely. With the laser sight, she found it hard to miss.

She also discovered Nathan’s weight room in the lower part of the split level. Hoping to work off the nervous tension stealing sleep from her every night, she started a regular regimen of lifting weights and exercise. Most days she worked herself to exhaustion - but still the nightmare remained. Her appetite fell and she began losing weight.

Early in the morning, she gave up on sleep again, and hauled herself out of bed. In the bathroom she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like death warmed over. She was going to have to admit it...a broken heart could be detrimental to one’s health. Bethany knew she had been a fool to leave Ethan. Tearing her heart to shreds had not stopped the nightmares. So what was it? What had Aaron been trying to tell her? Would Ethan ever forgive her?

Bethany tried her best to put herself in some semblance of order, but finally gave up the effort as futile. She dressed and went downstairs to fix breakfast.

She only ate a small amount
and afterward turned on the TV. The Weather Channel warned of a bad storm descending from Canada which hit the northern states hard, from the east coast to the Rockies. It was moving fast and they expected Aspen would get quite a bit of snow by nightfall.