They talked long into the night and he pretended to be content just with lying beside her. He was far from appeased, however, for her nearness was deeply stirring. He was mesmerized by her gentle, husky voice, entranced by the warm pressure of her body against his. How envious his soldier companions would be of this beauty, John thought to himself. No woman could match her beauty
,
and when they came to know her they would find that none could match her gentleness, her knowledge, her understanding or her generosity. The thought of leaving once again filled his heart with sorrow
,
but he dared not think about that now. Tonight they were here and they were together. He must be content with what "the spirits" granted them. Resting his chin on the top of her head
,
he gathered her close against his heart as he stared into the darkness
and pretended to fall asleep
Skyraven, however, was not content.
Rising
up on her elbow
,
she listened to the steady breathing of the man beside her and felt a deep longing. The heat of his body had warmed hers as they were curled up on the floor of the cave and she thought how perfectly their
two bodies had fit together, a
s they i
f were formed to be so joined.
"You are the one I want to be my mate, John Hanlen," she whispered. Right from the first she had wanted only h
im. "I love you," she went on
, her breath soft against his face. Just saying it gave her a sudden soaring sensation inside, a giddy happiness. Reaching out
,
she lightly touched his chin then his lips, feeling the strange prickly hair that covered his upper lip. She traced his mouth lovingly and was taken aback when those lips moved against her finge
rs, nibbling gently in a kiss.
"I've
been playing possum," he said
"Playing po
ssum?" She didn't understand.
"It's a saying that means I
've been pretending to sleep."
She drew back her hand
,
but he reached up and put her fingers back on his face. "No, don't stop. I like having you touch me." Skyraven felt a dryness in he throat and licked her lips, but before she could say a word
,
his mouth claimed hers in a gentle kiss. "M
y shy yet bold Indian maiden,
" he murmured against her lips. His hands moved along her back
,
sending a ting
ling sensation up her spine.
Skyraven closed her eyes to the rapture.
In that moment his gentleness
seemed to
merge
with his strength. Her grandfather had always said that
such a combination made for a great man.
Were he an Indian he would make a fine leader, she mused. But John Hanlen was a soldier. Soldiers and warriors were sometimes killed. What if he didn't return to her because he couldn't. If that happened she would regret never havi
ng fully given herself to him.
At that moment Skyraven came to a decision. Shifting her weight
,
she rolled closer into his embrace. How could she deny what was in her heart? She wanted to take him into her body so that she could experience the wonder tha
t such joining brought about, t
he sensations she had hea
rd the other women talk about.
His arm was a pleasant weight across her body. She felt the warmth of his breath on her neck. "Mate with me, Jo
hn Hanlen...." she said softly.
"What?" He felt her eyes upon him an
d
welcomed
her caressing gaze.
"I want you to
mate with me," she repeated.
A moan issued from his mouth as he realized what she had just said. His
arms closed around her. For a time that seemed
endless
,
he held her to him, physically hurting from his desperate hunger to feel every inch of her against
him, to take her as she asked.
"You are sure....?" He didn't know what the Indian customs were, didn't want to harm her or cause he
r to be
ostracized
in any way.
"I'm sure." She reached up to
touch his face and his hand grasped her own.
His firm
touch caused a fluttery feeling to erupt in her stomach,
like a butterfly, she thought.
He held her face in his hands, kissing her eyelids, the curve of her cheekbones, her mouth. "Skyraven. Skyraven," He
murmured, repeating
her name over and over again as if to taste of it on his lips.
He shivered with pleasure, feeling as if for years he had been on a long journey but now he was home.
With reverence he
touched
her breasts
, gently, slowly, u
ntil they swelled in his hands.
It took all his self-control to keep his passion in check. He
wanted to make it beautiful for her, wanted to be
the perfect lover--m
ate. With trembling, nervously fumbling fingers
,
he tugged at the fringed hem of her soft leather dress to bare her beauty to his eyes.
By the light of the moon shining through the opening of the cave he admired her body. Her breasts were high and firm
,
and he worshipped their beauty as his hands explored the soft, velvety mounds. Bending his head, John gently kissed the
ir
peaks
, pleasuring her with light, teasing strokes.
Skyraven was caught up in the sensations
of
his caressing hand
, making no effort to hide her breasts from his piercing gaze
. Gone was her modesty. This was her fate, her destiny
--
to belong to this man. She felt that in every bone, every muscle, every sinew of her body as he touched her
,
and gloried in the thought that her body pleased h
im. It was as it should be.
"I am glad that I please you, for you please me to, so very much." Her fingertips roamed over his shoulders and neck and plunged into his thick, yellow hai
r. Once again he kissed her, a
fierce joining of mouths that spoke of his passion. Then after a long
pleasurable
moment he drew away. She smiled as she watched him undo every one of his shiny gold buttons. So, he was as anxious to join with her as she was to mate
with him. That pleased her.
When he drew away for just a moment
to pull off his
clothing
, her eyes swept over him, remembering the first time she had let her eyes caress him. Had she hoped even then that they would at last be together like
this? She knew that she had.
The flames caught and flared, illuminating the smooth skin on his chest. He was a muscular man
, with a trim waist and narrow hips, and a broad chest. His
thick, light colored chest hair was soft
beneath her fingers. As she caressed his chest, his hands wandered beneath her dress to her firm, flat belly and buttocks.
"Wait, John Hanlen...." she said. Rising to her feet
,
she lifted her doe skin dress over her head and dropped it on the ground next to his discarded coat and shirt
,
then she removed her
leggings
and
moccasins
. John Hanlen watched her sensuous movements then
quickly removed his
long johns with little care that they were turned inside
out. All things in due time.
When both were completely naked, he rolled over on his side and drew her down beside him. "I like the feel of your
skin against me," he breathed.
Skyraven was shattered by the all consuming pleasure of lying naked beside him. A heat arose within her as she arched against him in sensual pleasure. Her breath became heavier and a hunger for him
, a sweet, aching sensation, traveled from her breasts to her loins, a pulsing, tingling feeling that intensified as his hand moved across the smoothness of her belly to feel the softness nestled between her thighs.
Skyraven gave way to wild abandon, moaning
joyously as her fingers likewise moved over his body.
She felt a strange sensation flood over her and could not deny that before he left, she wanted their spirits to be joined together
. She wanted him
to fill her with excitement and pleasure. His strong arms were around her, his mouth covering her own. She shivered at the
feelings that swept over her.
John felt her tremb
le. "You're not afraid of me?"
"No, I don't believe I ever have been, John Hanlen. Not really." She laid her head on his shoulder, moving her palms over his muscles as
if to know every inch of him.
The light of the moon illuminated their bodies, hers a smooth deep olive, his muscular form a ligh
ter hue.
He knelt down beside her and kissed her breasts, running his tongue over their tips until she shuddered with delight. Whispering words of love
,
he slid his hands between her thighs to explore the soft inner flesh. At his touch she felt a slow quivering deep inside that became a fierce fire as he mo
ved his fingers against her.
Supporting himself on his forearms
,
he
positioned himself on top of her and
moved between her legs. Slowly he
brushed his lower body against her thighs
, letting her get accustomed to the hardness of his maleness. Taking her mouth in a hard, deep kiss he entered her softness with a slow but strong thrust, burying his length with
in the sheath of her softness.
As they came together
, she was consumed by his warmth, his hardness, and she tightened her thighs around his waist as she arched up to him, moving in time to his rhythm.
It was as if he had touched the very core of her being. There was an explosion of rapture as their bodies blended into one. She returned his caresses, exploring his body and feelin
g joy at his groans of desire.
From this moment on they belonged to each other. She wanted him and him only
, and he vowed never to share her with anyone else.
Eac
h knew that they had found thei
r
other half.
To Skyraven this was their wedding ceremony. After all, they did come from two different cultures, each having a different set of rules f
or becoming man and wife. H
e had
n't brought gifts for G
randfather yet to ask for her hand
,
but that would be taken care of in due time. The spirits wanted them together, had led them to each other. Surely they were smiling now at this union. The thought made her smile also. She was happy
. Gloriously happy.
Throughout the night they held each other, made love again and finally fell asleep entwined in each others arms, her head resting upon his soft golden chest hair. Neither wanted to remember that th
ey must part before sunrise
. Not even the chanting still going on down below at the Arapaho village kept them awake. They were content for the moment and so much in love.
Chapter Ten
When the two lovers parted before daybreak the next morning they knew that thei
r lives would never be the same
. Now truly
,
Skyraven could understand her mother's anguish when her father had left. But this time it will be different. John Hanlen would return for her as he had promised. After the
ir
wondrous night of lovemaking
,
how could she doubt
it?
John held Skyraven close and kissed her tenderly, fighting to hold his emotions in check. Now that the moment had actually come
,
it pained him far more to leave
her than he had foreseen. I
f only life could be simple and uncomplicated
, he lamented
. Instead
,
he was torn between his duty to
his land and the woman for whom he cared so much
. God forbid that he would ever have to make a choice. Would there be peace between the whitemen and Indians or would tempers flare over land ownership and war break out? Now he had a personal stake in the matter. It would be peace! Somehow he had to force any doubts from his mind and trust that his
countrymen would see reason.
"I'm going to miss you...." he whispered, nuzzling the soft dark hair that brushed against the nape of her neck. "While I'm gone make
,
a list of the items your grandfather
would like
so that I
may quickly fulfill his wish."
"I will......" She closed her eyelids tightly to force back the tears. She was Indian. Indians did not give forth w
eak emotions.
For a long while they stood silently, locked in an embrace beneath the pale moon
,
neither wanting to let go of the other but not really knowing what could be said. Goodbye was such a sorrowful word. Skyraven could only stare at him mutely, her bl
ue eyes huge pools of misery.
John finally broke the silence
"Y
ou'll never know how its tearing me apart to have to leave you.
”
He let his eyes touch on every curve of her face as if to memorize her beauty. Then with a muttered oath halfway between a curse and an imprecation, he lowered his head and claimed her mouth with a soul
-
rending kiss. A jolt of sweet fire swept through his veins prompting him to give in to his passion one more time
,
but he pushed away. If he made love to her again it would only prolong the agony. Still he said,
“
I don't know how long we must be apart but
,
I will come back f
or you. I swear that I will."
"The spirits brought you to me once before. If feel that they will again." Reaching up
,
she touched his face, running he fingers over his eyes, n
ose and mouth like a blind person
. "W
alk in sunshine, John Hanlen."
Skyraven had prepared him well for the journey he was about to undertake. She had gone over and over with him the things that he should be aware of along the shorter and safer route that she had selected for him to take
,
describing the landmarks, streams and other points that w
ould keep him on the right trail
. Not only had she provided food, water and new high topped
moccasins,
but had given him her prized
posses
sion
, Running Antelope as well.
"You...you may take my mare," she had said, fighting tears. The animal was very dear to h
er, yet not as precious as he.
John knew how
much
the animal
meant
to her
,
and yet she freely gave it up in order to help him return to his soldiers. The thought that she would make that sacrifice deeply touched him. No one besides his mother had ever given him anything without strings attached, not even his own father. "When I return I will bring Running Antelope back to you
,
along with many more
horses for your grandfather."
"Yes, for my grandfather...." She snuggled closer in his arms for just a moment
,
then quickly
turned, wiping
the moisture from her cheeks before he could see. Her heart seemed to be bursting within her chest
,
yet she fought to maintain her pride. She knew that it had to be this way but dreaded the parting, yet even as she said goodbye she kept her chin up, her shoulders back.
He was a soldier, he had to return to
Fort
Lyon
, she told herself. She would not beg him to stay
, for
even if she did
,
he could not comply with such a wish. It was a truth she had to face. On the other hand, he had not asked her to go away with him
,
and while this pricked her heart
,
she knew that it wa
s not that he did not want her--
it was just the way things were. She accepted what had to be stoically, relieved that he had not asked her to leave her people. She could not have left them so quickly without making preparations. She was the medicine man's granddaughter
,
and as such had her own duties to the tribe. Her grandfather depended on her and he was getting older. Right now such a move would be unthinkable
,
for it w
ould surely break his heart.
As much as I love you, John Hanlen, I would have had to refuse had you asked me to go with you this morning
, she thought closing her eyes.
I
f only he were an Indian or she completely white
,
it would have been so much simpler, but they were what they were and must accept each other that way
.
Skyraven trusted in the spirits to guard over her love and make things right, yet even so she had the impulse to run to her dear white soldier, to throw her arms around him and beg him to stay. Now that she knew what love was
,
it would be so lonely without him
. Oh mother, how terrible it must have been for you also
, s
he thought
.
Now at last she fully understood
,
for as he moved with her towards her horse sh
e nearly felt her heart break.
"It
’
s a beautiful animal you give me, Skyraven. O
ne more precious gift......"
She moved
away as John mounted the mare, watching as he pulled himself up and flung his leg over the horse's back. It was a different method of mounting than the Indian braves used. Running Antelope seemed ill at ease despite her whispered words of calm. Unused to this man on her back
,
the mare raised her front legs high in the air and came down pawing the earth. The bucking action nearly threw
John Hanlen to the ground.
Hurriedly Skyraven shouted out a command as she strode forward. Whispering in the mare's ear
,
patting her head affectionately,
she
calmed the horse down,
enough to enable her soldier to att
empt to control him again.
"Whoa! Easy girl." John waited just long enough to be
assured
that the mare was indeed calm before starting on his way. Leaning over for just one more quick kiss, he galloped away
, t
urning to look over his shoulder as he
offered
one last goodbye.
"Remember what I told you," Skyraven called out. "The Utes have m
oved on and are far to the west
by now. Everything should go as we planned
,
but do be
careful."
"I will," he
shouted back, then he waved.
Skyraven watched as his figure became smaller and smaller, dwindling down to the size of an ant. Only after he was well out of sight did she allow herself to vent her emotions. Sitting down on a rock
,
she buried her face in her hands and sobbed her heart out. Tears were foolish, she told herself, yet nevertheless great drops of sorrow fell from her eyes. Then when her emotions were spent and she had no more tears left, she stood up and began the long walk back to the village.
John raced at break neck speed over the
immense
tract of land before him. Skyraven had selected a flatter, shorter route,
one with
little foliage
and
a few rolling hills covered by crisscrossing streams and some buffalo wallows. He was headed toward the south and the valley of the
Arkansas River
, ridi
ng with the speed of the wind.
He was amazed at the strength and speed displayed by Running Antelope. Not one of the soldier's horses could even touch her for
maneuverability
, speed and beauty. She had been well trained and it showed, he thought
,
marveling at how his beautiful Indian love had taught the animal so well. This Indian pony was a wonder, the finest horse he had ever ridden. Her mane and tail streamed in the wind like a flying banner, her
muscles
ripple
d under her glistening hide.
As he rode on, his thoughts returned again and again to Skyraven. He could almost see her beautiful face before him and thought again what a unique person she was. She was strong yet gentle, well informed about the wisdom of life yet childlike in some ways too. She was beautiful yet completely unaware of her beauty
;
and when it came to being a giving person, no woman had ever made the sacrifices that S
kyraven had made for him . No
woman would ever take her place in hi
s heart. He was sure of that.
Running Antelope's hooves thunde
red on the ground taking John farther and fa
rther from the woman he
who intrigued him
. Even though he was thinking of Skyraven, his senses were alert to any danger. He vowed that he would never again be taken as unaware as he had been on that fearful day not so long past. Had he seen the eyes staring at him from a distance, however, he might not have been so certain.