Sweet Rosie (33 page)

‘No, it’s not enough,’ Rosie said. ‘In any case how do I know you’re faithful to me? You are out every night, you could be sleeping with all the harlots in the streets of Swansea for all I know.’ She paused. ‘It’s not enough for me, Watt.’

Watt moved away from her. ‘Well, it will have to do,’ he said. ‘I can’t promise undying love, Rosie, I’m sorry.’

‘Go away,’ Rosie said. ‘Just leave me alone. I need to think things out.’

Watt hesitated in the doorway. ‘You’re acting like a spoilt child, Rosie, there are more important things at stake here than just your hurt pride.’

‘Go away,’ she said. ‘Just go away.’ She turned her face to the wall.

‘To hell with you then!’ he said. She heard the door slam and knew that, yet again, Watt was going out to drown his sorrows and the thought was like a knife turning in her heart.

Rosie drew her legs under her and sat against the pillows, staring at the wall. The shadows thrown from the flickering light of the candles danced like grotesque monsters but they were nothing compared to the monsters in her head. She had to face the truth: her husband did not love her, had never loved her. He had married her out of pity for the family. What sort of foundation was that on which to build a relationship?

There was the sound of slow footsteps on the stairs. Pearl paused on the landing coughing as though she would never stop. Rosie closed her eyes; she did not want to see anyone, she wanted to be alone with her misery.

‘Can I come in, love?’ Pearl peered round the door. ‘Oh, Rosie love, don’t cry, everyone argues.’ Pearl took Rosie in her arms and they clung together. Rosie could feel the rattle in her mother’s thin chest and for a moment guilt flooded through her.

‘What is it, love?’ Pearl asked anxiously. ‘Why were you rowing with Watt?’

Rosie shook her head. How could she explain to her mother that Watt had married her simply to take care of the family? Pearl would feel she was to blame and her mother had enough to to contend with as it was.

‘Well don’t worry about it, whatever it is, rows happen to everyone. You know your dad and me used to shout at each other all the time, it didn’t mean we loved each other any the less. Watt is a good man and he loves you,
cariad
.’

‘No!’ Rosie released herself from her mother’s arms. ‘He doesn’t love me. He never calls me
cariad
, he scarcely calls me by name, let alone call me his sweetheart.’

‘Ah but men are not so soft as us. And, remember, they say things in anger that they don’t mean, we all do.’ She brushed Rosie’s hair away from her face. ‘Give it a chance, love.’ She smiled. ‘I don’t think men and women will ever understand each other so we just have to make the best of things.’

‘I know, Mam.’ Rosie was confused. She did not want to think of Watt any more; she would prefer to put him out of her mind but the look on his face haunted her. He would never love her as he had loved Maura Dundee. Rosie was second best and she did not think she could live her life like that.

‘You rest now, love,’ Pearl said. ‘I can sew our Dom’s trews. Watt will calm down, everything will be just fine in the morning, you’ll see.’

‘I think I will stay up here, Mam,’ Rosie said. ‘I could do with an early night.’

‘You’re not sick, are you, love?’ Pearl asked anxiously. Rosie shook her head.

‘No, Mam, I’ve got a bit of a headache, that’s all.’

‘Oh, that’s all right then.’ Pearl sounded relieved. She crept towards the door and paused there; in the half-light she looked gaunt, ghost-like. Rosie felt a qualm of fear.

‘Mam, you are better, aren’t you?’ she asked. Pearl smiled but her teeth seemed overlarge for her face.

‘Of course I am, why else would I be working again? Now go to sleep, you’ve got enough to think of without worrying about me.’

The door closed and Rosie undressed quickly and quenched the flames of the candles, wanting to lose herself in the soft darkness. Her mother was all right, as she said, she would not be going back to work if she was still ill. And Rosie could not deal with anyone else’s pain just now, she had enough of her own.

Rosie was on the edge of sleep when Watt crept into the bedroom. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to talk to him. She was tired and disheartened. He did not love her; the thought was like a chant running through her mind.

He climbed into bed beside her and put his arm around her waist, drawing her back against him. His breath smelled of beer as he put his face close to hers; his hand crept round to rest on her breast.

‘You’re beautiful, Rosie,’ he said. She could tell he was aroused but she was unmoved. If it took a bellyful of ale to make him want her then she did not want him.

She sat up, anger running through her like wine. ‘How dare you come to me like this?’ She was whispering; the last thing she wanted to do was wake Mam and the boys. ‘You tell me you don’t love me, that I have to take the crumbs you offer and then you want to make love to me.’ Her voice rose in spite of herself.

‘Don’t start!’ Watt said.

‘Don’t start?’ she repeated. ‘Am I supposed to fall into your arms like a whore then?’

‘At least a whore would know how to please a man!’ Watt said. Rosie felt as though she were shrinking into herself.

‘So I am a disappointment to you in every way then, is that it? Well don’t worry, you’ll be free of me soon.’

‘Don’t talk rubbish!’ Watt turned over and pulled the bedclothes up to his chin. ‘Go to sleep, there’s a good girl.’

She wanted to kill him right then. She sat staring into the darkness, pain searing her. She could not even cry. She became aware that Watt was breathing deeply and she knew he was asleep. How dare he sleep when her world was in ruins?

She lay awake for a long time, her head spinning with thoughts, but by the morning she had made up her mind. She would find another job where she could live in. At least when she worked as a maid she had some free time as well as the company of girls her own age. Now she was just a drudge. She would not be leaving her mother in the lurch, between them Mam and Watt brought in enough wages to pay for someone else to wait on them.

Rosie had had a restless night, tossing and turning, trying to come to terms with the humiliating knowledge that Watt did not love her. She got out of bed in the grey light of early morning and lit the fires as usual and made the breakfast, acting as though nothing was wrong.

Watt kissed her cheek before leaving for work and Pearl stood with him in the doorway.

‘Come on, Dom lad,’ she said, ‘don’t make us all late.’ She glanced at Rosie but said no more about taking time off. ‘You’ll see our Fred off to school, won’t you, Rosie?’ she said.

‘Don’t I always?’ Rosie said but the door closing drowned out her words. She sent her brother on his way with a packed sandwich for his dinner and then cleared the dishes away. She stood for a moment in the warmth of the kitchen and looked around her. It would be hard to leave her home and even harder to say goodbye to Watt and their marriage. But then it was not a marriage at all, it was a sham.

She swallowed her tears and ran up the stairs. It took her only a few minutes to get dressed for outdoors. She threw some clothes into a bag and took all the money from the housekeeping jar. Out in the street, she looked back at the house where she had hoped for so much happiness and then, after a moment, she began to walk briskly towards the town.

Alice Sparks was beginning to despair of ever finding a suitable lady’s maid. She had put a notice in the local paper but so far without any response. She was stretched out on her chair, relaxing after breakfast, when Cook knocked on the door.

‘Excuse me, Mrs Sparks, but there’s a girl here looking for a position.’ Alice roused herself and sat up in her chair. ‘What does she look like? Is she respectable?’

‘Oh yes, Mrs Sparks,’ Cook said quickly. ‘It’s Rosie, she’s been working up at Pottery House for Mrs Mainwaring.’ Cook would say anything, she was tired of fetching and carrying for Alice.

‘All right bring her in, let’s have a look at her.’ Alice was tired; the heat of the fire had made her sleepy. The last thing she wanted to do was conduct an interview but she needed someone to tend to her personal needs and the sooner the better.

The girl was neatly dressed, her hair combed and pinned back from her face. She looked clean and neat and very capable.

‘Come in.’ Alice gestured for the girl to come closer. She studied her from head to foot and was pleased with the girl’s demeanour.

‘I see you wear a wedding ring, widowed are you?’ Alice was not really interested but it was better that the maid had no ties. The girl nodded briefly.

‘I’m looking to live in. I’m used to housework and I’m strong and healthy.’ She looked it. Her skin was radiant, her eyes clear. There were no wrinkles on the smooth face but then the girl had suffered no hardship, that much was clear.

‘How did you know I was looking for a maid?’ Alice asked. ‘Did you read it in the newspaper?’

‘Yes, miss.’

‘Madam, I prefer you to call me madam. And you worked for Llinos Mainwaring I understand?’ Alice said. ‘Would she give you a reference?’

‘I’m sure she would.’ The girl replied. ‘I left to get married, she was sorry to lose me.’

Alice wondered what she could prise out of the girl by way of information about Llinos Mainwaring. ‘Very well, I’ll give you a month’s trial.’ She waved her hand, dismissing the girl. ‘Cook will show you to your room.’

A thought struck her. ‘Oh, I’ll need you to help me dress for an outing this afternoon and I shall require you to come with me.’

The girl nodded. ‘Yes, madam.’ She was quick to learn, Alice gave her that much. Rosie could well prove to be an asset, that was if Alice could keep her temper in check. She had lost her last maid and Cook had threatened to walk out more than once and was only calmed down with the promise of an extra bonus in her wages.

‘Off you go then.’ When the door closed behind the girl, Alice got to her feet and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was looking well, a little on the plump side but that was only to be expected. She tweaked a curl into place, it was important that she looked her best as she was going to see Eynon.

The visit was not before time; the bills were mounting and the rest of the mortgage had to be paid by the end of the month. Still, she had a feeling that when he saw her he would take her word for it that the twins were his. He was vain like any other man and Alice knew exactly how to play on that vanity.

The afternoon was sunny, the road dappled with light. Alice sat in the cab feeling confident and happy. Rosie was at her side, demure in her coat and bonnet, her work-roughened hands folded in her lap. The girl had a pleasing way with her and Alice congratulated herself that at last she had found a good servant.

‘Once we are in the big house where Mr Morton-Edwards lives you must go to the kitchen with the other servants,’ Alice said quietly. ‘My visit is very private and I trust you will speak of it to no-one.’

‘You can depend on me, madam,’ Rosie said earnestly. Alice found herself warming to the girl; she was going to be good company as well as discreet, exactly the sort of maid that Alice needed.

Eynon was standing before the fire in the large, comfortable drawing room. He looked more handsome than ever, his pale hair shining in the sunlight.

‘Good lord!’ he said when he saw her. ‘You have grown large! Come along, you’d better sit down.’ He helped her to a chair, placing a cushion behind her back. ‘Are you keeping well, Alice?’

‘I am very well,’ she said running her hands over her stomach. ‘I have your sons in here, Eynon, I’m having twins.’

‘Good Lord!’ he said again. He sat down opposite her and watched her carefully. ‘How can you be sure I am the father?’ he asked, his expression earnest.

Alice was encouraged by his manner; now he could see she was really pregnant he was at least prepared to listen to her. She leaned forward.

‘I did not sleep with Edward until I was almost two months late,’ she said. ‘Eynon, I’m telling you, hand on heart, these twins are yours. I swear it on my own life.’ She smiled at him. ‘Aren’t you proud? You could be the father of two fine sons in a few months’ time.’

‘Perhaps,’ Eynon said. ‘But I don’t know what to think and that’s the truth.’

‘Look, Eynon,’ she said. ‘You can bring your friend Father Martin here and I’ll swear it on the Bible in his presence if you like.’

‘All right, suppose I accept the truth of what you say, what do you expect me to do about it?’ Eynon rose and stood in front of the fire, his hand resting on the mantelpiece. ‘Just tell me what it is you want.’

‘I want money to buy the house I’m living in,’ Alice said. ‘If you will put a little extra funds my way I will see you are not bothered again.’ She glanced up at him from under her lashes. ‘Unless you wish to be.’

He thought about it in silence and Alice watched his expression with a warm feeling that he was softening towards her.

‘At least give me the benefit of the doubt, Eynon,’ she said gently. ‘If the twins are yours you surely want them to have the security of a roof over their heads, don’t you?’

He sighed in resignation. ‘All right, Alice, I suppose I owe you that much. First thing in the morning I’ll go to the bank and see to it.’

‘Thank you, Eynon.’ Alice felt a surge of triumph. ‘I will take good care of the twins, you can be sure of that, and you can see them any time you like.’

‘What about Edward?’

‘Oh, him!’ Alice dismissed her husband with a wave of her hand. ‘Edward thinks I’m spending my time doing charitable works. But then he’s a fool.’ She laughed. ‘And he has not even the grace to be good in bed!’

Eynon smiled. ‘You are incorrigible, Alice, and you soon to be a mother.’ He rang the bell for the servants. ‘Now, you’ll take some tea with me?’

‘I’d be delighted.’ Alice relaxed now that she had won Eynon over. ‘Then I will have to go back home to face that miserable husband of mine. Why couldn’t I have married someone like you, Eynon?’