I lay down the shirt
and turn the shower on, not looking at myself in the mirror. The
water hits my skin, but it isn’t hot enough to erase the night, so
I turn the faucet until it’s so hot the whole bathroom steams up. I
start scrubbing every inch, over and over with soap, wishing the dirt
would leave me and that I wasn’t tainted. Remembering everything
about tonight and what Dag was going to do to me brings back memories
of that night in high school.
Fingers wrap around my throat,
voices in my ear telling me to keep my mouth shut and how big of a
whore I am and that no one will ever want me.
I start screaming,
tears falling from my eyes, and there’s no way to stop the sobs
that wretch from my body. Scrubbing and scrubbing again, I fall to
the floor and cry for everything that I’ve lost and everything I’ll
never have in my life. Suddenly, two arms wrap around me, making me
scream again, and I start thrashing my body to try and get out of the
grip.
“Payton, it’s me.
Everything’s okay,” Jack whispers in my ear, rocking me back and
forth in the water.
“I wish it was,” I
whisper back.
“You need some rest.”
Pulling me out of the
shower, he dries my body off and dresses me in the dress shirt. Then
he takes off his wet clothing and wraps a towel around his godlike
body. If I weren’t so consumed in my self-pity right now, I’d be
wrapped around him instead of that fucking towel. He walks me to his
bed and covers me with the comforter. He tells me that he has a few
things to take care of before leaving the room, and I’m certain
that those things concern Dag.
He walks down the
stairs, and I can’t help but beat myself up for letting him see the
weak and vulnerable side of me. I hide her very well, but I just
can’t seem to do that where Jack’s concerned. After a while of
beating my brain and wondering how I can be so stupid, I drift off to
sleep.
* * *
“No, no, don’t do
this please,” I shout. Jostling around in bed wakes me. It’s a
dream. Oh, thank God. I thought I was back there on that fucking
night that took everything from me.
Where am I?
Disoriented, I remember that I’m at Jack’s condo and why I’m
here. Rolling over, I expect to see him in bed with me, but it’s
empty. Throwing the blankets aside and putting my legs over the edge,
I get out and walk to the landing. There he is, asleep on the sofa,
wearing only a pair of jeans. Creeping down the stairs, I walk over
and sit on the edge, covering him with a throw that’s on the back
of the sofa then place a kiss on his forehead.
God, I want this man so
badly, and I don’t just mean for sex. But he only wants what every
other guy wants from me—a good fuck. Something’s screaming at me
from the back of my mind not to listen to myself, but I ignore it. I
start to get up, knowing that I’m going to leave, head home, and
never see him again. Jack’s hand snakes out, and he clasps his arm
around my waist, pulling me back down to him.
“Where you going?”
he asks, in a husky, sleepy voice that does things to my core.
“Home,” I reply,
briskly, hoping it’ll make it easier.
“No, you’re not,
but I’m going to ask again. Where you going?” I cock my head to
the side. Who in the fuck does he think he is talking to me like
that?
“I’m going home,
Jack. Do you have a problem with that?” I ask, feeling the blood
heat in my body for a completely different reason.
“I have a huge
fucking problem with that, babe. Look at what happened to you
tonight. I told you that no one’s ever going to hurt you, and I’m
going to make sure of that. You’re not leaving my condo tonight. Do
you get me?” he asks, starting to get pissed at me as well.
“You can’t stop
that, Jack. People do shit things. It’s life, get over it.” I
throw back at him, trying to get up from the couch. Knifing up from
the sofa, he pulls me onto his lap so I’m straddling him.
“You don’t get it,
do you, Payton? I want you for me, no one else. Just me,” he says,
glaring at me.
“No, you don’t,
Jack. You just want one thing and one thing only and that’s a
fucking orgasm! I’m going to tell you right now, you’re not
getting it from me. I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore. I
deserve better than this,” I confess. “You just want a fuck,
Jack. I might be good, but I can’t, not with you. I care too much
with you. When you get what you want, you’ll be gone, and I can’t
handle that.”
“It’s not like
tha—” he starts, but I cut him off.
“Don’t Jack. Please
don’t, because when you leave it’ll kill me,” I confess, and I
see the flinch his body makes.
“Shut up, Payton, and
fucking listen to me. It’s not like that with us. I don’t
just
want to fuck you. We had this instant connection the minute we laid
eyes on each other. I knew right then that I had to make you mine.
Those two nights we had together were fucking perfection, and don’t
deny it, because I know you felt the same. Then it all went to shit
when Ella got kidnapped and Ryder got shot and ...”
“Don’t blame this
on Ella and Ryder. You’re the one who lied to everyone about who
you were,” I say defensively, cutting him off again.
“Jesus fucking Christ
woman, would you let me fucking finish?” I nod for him to continue.
“I’m not blaming this on them. I wanted to tell you the truth
about who I was from the moment we met, but it was out of my control.
I’d been working undercover for over a year and was deeply involved
with the Mayhem MC and couldn’t just blow my cover because I wanted
you. That would’ve been career suicide, not to mention Axel
probably would’ve had you and me killed. Then when all that shit
went down with Ella and Ryder and the truth came out, you fucking cut
me out of your life without even giving me the chance to explain. So
I didn’t just fuck you and leave.” He takes a long deep breath
before continuing.
“I called you, left
voice and text messages, and you never called me back. I made the
decision to give you time, hoping that eventually you’d come back
to me, but you never did. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you
I haven’t fucked other women since you left—because I have. I’ve
been with a lot of women, but I swear to Christ they meant nothing to
me. Every single time I was with someone else, I’d imagine I was
buried deep inside of you. I’m telling you now, it’s been over
two long fucking years, and I’m done waiting. I want you in my bed,
now,” he growls out the last bit.
“Jack,” is all I
can say before his mouth is on mine, forcing his tongue between my
lips, exploring every inch of my mouth. Moaning, I pull back. “It
has only ever been you for me. That’s what happened tonight. I
called out your name.”
Looking in his eyes, I
can tell there’s a hint of triumph, knowing that I was thinking of
him. Smashing his mouth back to mine, Jack stands and wraps my legs
around his body, walking to the stairs and going up to the bedroom.
When we get to the bed he slowly undresses my body and then deposits
me there. He moves his body above me. My
muscles stiffen because I don’t like having guys on top of me,
trapping me beneath them. I move so that I can be on my knees in
front of him as I start to explore his chest with my hands and mouth.
Fisting my hair and moaning, he pulls my head back and says, “Lie
down, baby. I want to take care of you. Show you how much you mean to
me.”
I lean forward and push
him back saying, “No, I think last time it was you taking care of
me and now it’s my turn.” Winking, I lean down and start my
exploration again, pulling down his pants, releasing the beast.
That’s the only name I can come up for it because his cock is
fucking HUGE. It scared the ever-loving shit out of me the first
time, wondering if it could really fit inside of me, but it did. And
it was a-fucking-mazing!
I push his body back so
that he’s lying on the bed, and kneel over him, taking the beast in
my hand. I start stroking and running my thumb over the tip, rubbing
the pre-cum all around. Leaning in, I lick him from the very bottom
of his balls to the tip, dipping my tongue in the little slit, loving
his taste. Fisting my hair, he pulls me back.
“Don’t tease, baby.
That’s not nice,” he growls. I take that as he wants more of my
mouth, so I give it to him. Going all the way to the back of my
throat and swallowing.
“Jesus Christ,
Payton,” he gasps, his head tilting back into the pillow.
Licking, and nibbling,
sucking, and pulling, I’m putting everything I have into it for
him, the one person that can undo me, until he pulls me off of him
and says, “Up here, baby. I want you sitting on my face. I know how
much you love it.”
He pulls me up his body
with his hands and places me over him, so that I’m straddling his
face and gripping the low headboard. He blows air on the sensitive
flesh that’s open to him, making me quiver. He attacks me with his
tongue first, fucking my pussy and then licking the outer area,
staying away from the place that wants his attention the most. When
he knows what I want, he asks, “What do you want, baby?”
“Jack, you know,
fuck, you know what I want,” I moan and gasp as he puts one finger
in my pussy and starts working it in so slowly then taking it out.
“No baby, say it, say
it now.”
“Make me come, Jack.
Please, please, make me come. I’ve waited so long for this, for
you,” I gasp as he jams a second finger inside me and rubs along my
g-spot and then sucks on my clit, making me lose all sense of
control. The fire’s burning, my body’s bucking and convulsing
around his fingers being greedy, wanting more.
Jack pulls away and
demands, “Put your hands on the window. I want to fuck you from
behind, so we can watch me fucking you in the reflection of the
glass.” Oh, sweet Jesus, I think I just came again.
I place my hands on the
window behind the headboard as I watch Jack position himself behind
me. Closing my eyes, my anticipation builds as I wait for him to
enter me. I hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper right before he
slides in me with one powerful thrust. My walls stretch to
accommodate his cock, and my pussy soon starts pulsing and tightening
reaching for another mind-blowing orgasm.
“Fuck, I missed this,
Payton. I missed all of you, baby,” he grunts, holding my hips with
his hands while pumping my sex with his hard length.
“Jack, I missed your
cock, too. You have no idea,” I scream as he fucks me harder and
deeper.
“Oh yes, Jack, like
that. Fuck my pussy harder,” I demand, and he does.
“Baby, you feel
fucking amazing. Look out the window. Anyone can see you—see your
flushed cheeks. I want people to see you as I see you,” he speaks,
while running the palms of his hands up my spine, over my shoulders,
up my arms, before ending at my hands on the window. “Fucking
beautiful,” he mutters against my shoulder. He interlaces our
fingers as I feel his heated breath blow across my back. His lips
feel feverish as he trails kisses from my upper to lower back.
Untangling his fingers
from my grasp, he moves them to my shoulders as he continues ramming
in and out of me. Jack’s closeness makes me feel strange
things—feelings that no other man can or will ever get from me, and
I’m not even sure I know what they are. I’ve only thought I’d
been in love once before, and look how that turned out. So I’m not
entirely sure if this is actually love or not.
“I want them to see,
Jack! I want them to see what you do to me, to my body, to my pussy.
Fuck, I love it,” I mumble. Although, I know in reality we’re so
high up, no one will actually be able to see us, but the thought of
it is exciting.
“I’m going to come.
I want you to come with me,” he grunts, curling his arm around me,
rubbing my clit with his fingers. I take one hand from the glass and
place it over his to help him, and within seconds I’m coming so
hard all rational thought leaves my brain. He reaches his own release
at the same time, grunting my name and burrowing his face in my neck.
When we’re done, he places soft kisses down my spine, pulls out of
me and rolls to the side, lying down on the bed and curling me into
him.
A few minutes later, he
shifts me away from him, and I watch as he gets out of the bed and
walks to the bathroom to dispose of the used condom. He’s only gone
for seconds when I see him return to the bed. Getting under the
covers, he pulls my naked body against his, spooning me.
“Night, bella,” he
whispers in my ear.
“Goodnight, baby,”
I sleepily murmur back. Then everything goes black as I fall asleep
and dream of Jack and that window. I love that fucking window!
The next morning, we
wake up and have a quick, but intense, romp between the sheets, which
consists of me on top, giving Jack the ride of his life. When we’re
both lying next to each other, completely spent, Jack finally notices
the small tattoo on my left hip. In a simple script is the word
‘broken.’
“What’s the tattoo
mean?” he asks, his fingers lightly tracing the letters. Shit! I
don’t want to have to explain to him that I’m so damaged, I feel
broken. And I don’t know if I can ever be fixed.
“I got it one night
while I was drunk. I don’t even remember why I picked it,” I
answer, hoping like hell that he believes the lie.
“It’s fucking sexy.
Can’t wait to see more ink on you,” he says, giving me a quick
kiss before getting up out of the bed. I watch him walk naked toward
the washroom and then hear the water running. I don’t waste any
time. I jump out of the bed and rush toward the bathroom to join him.
We might as well conserve water.
After showering
together, we eat breakfast and head down to the parking garage in his
complex. When the elevator opens and we step out, I stop in my
tracks, causing Jack to run square into my back.
How the fuck
didn’t I notice that last night?
I guess I must’ve been in
shock. Parked in Jack’s parking space is a shiny black ‘69
Pontiac GTO. I’m a sucker for muscle cars, and this one is hot.