Sweet Return (30 page)

The hair styling done, Shari stood up with a handheld mirror and did a circular look-see in the big mirror. “It looks great, Joanna. You are so good.”

“Thanks,” Joanna replied wryly. “I’ve had a lot of experience.”

Shari laid the mirror on the workstation counter and proceeded to write a check for her hairdo. “Let’s go get lunch. I’ll buy. I want to show you something. I need your opinion.”

Lunch sounded better now than it would have earlier. Now Joanna’s stomach had taken on a different emptiness. She agreed and they strolled up the street to Betty Lou’s Coffee Cup. As soon as they took seats in a red vinyl booth, Shari produced a large white envelope from her purse, pulled out a page filled with photographs and slid it across the table to Joanna. “This is what Jay’s getting me for my birthday.”

Joanna gazed down at six pairs of women’s naked breasts of varying shapes and sizes. Puzzled, she looked back at Shari. “Boobs? Or six women?”

If Shari got the pitiful joke, she ignored it. Her eyes glinted with excitement. “Which ones do you like?”

The young waitress came to take their order and Shari quickly turned the page of photographs facedown on the tabletop. She ordered a chicken Caesar salad and iced tea. Joanna ordered the same, plus a large chocolate milk shake. Today, she doubted her stomach would appreciate roughage without a cushion.

As soon as the waitress went on her way, Joanna leaned forward and spoke in a low tone. “You’re going to have a boob job?”

“I’ve been saying I wanted to for a long time.”

Indeed she had, but the remark had always been offhand and not up for discussion. “Good grief, Shari, I thought you were kidding. You don’t think you’re big enough or what?”

Now Shari leaned forward, her forearms on the table. “No, no, no, Joanna. It isn’t about size. I can gather them up and fill up a D cup. How much more would a person want? It’s about the way they
look
.” She turned the page of photographs faceup again.

“Oh,” Joanna said, realizing that she hadn’t seen Shari naked probably since high school. “What’s wrong with the way they look?”

“They’re wrecked. Lord, I’ve nursed four kids, and if you recall, Dillon nursed until after he was a year old. He nearly killed me.”

Being a hairdresser for years, besides gossip on almost every person in town, Joanna had heard discussion of women’s issues from one end of the spectrum to the other. She mentally acknowledged that she might have heard that nursing sometimes damaged women’s breasts, but today, she was too preoccupied with her own damage to even consider a friend’s. “I don’t know, Shari.” She shook her head skeptically. “Isn’t it major surgery?”

Shari ignored Joanna’s doubt. “They aren’t even the same size now. One hangs down farther than the other. They look more like bananas than breasts.”

The young waitress returned with glasses of cold tea. Shari sat back and whisked the page of photographs into her lap.

“Damn, Shari, I don’t know what to say. And Jay thinks this is a good idea?” Joanna busied herself stirring Sweet’N Low into her tea.

“He doesn’t care. They’re my boobs. He knows it’s what I want. He’s only interested in what’s below my waist anyway.” Laughing, Shari peeled a straw and stuck it into her tea. “I told him I’m gonna get him a board with a knothole in it. Just to see if he notices the difference.” She produced the page of photographs again. “So which ones do you like?”

Joanna drew the page of pictures to her side of the table. Knowing Shari, there was no getting out of this. “I don’t know.” She thoroughly perused each pair of breasts, then pointed at the middle photograph on the left. “Those, I think.”

Shari smiled brightly. “I picked those, too. And those are the ones Jay likes, too.” She turned the page back toward herself and studied the picture. “I like those because they look perky. I’m just going for a D cup. I’m short, you know? I don’t want to be a freak.”

The waitress delivered their salads and Joanna’s milk shake. Joanna sucked a large dollop through her straw. “God, that tastes good.”

A frown of concern crossed Shari’s face. “Your stomach’s really upset, huh? You probably caught something in the shop. Take some Pepto-Bismol. That’s what I feed the kids when they have an upset stomach.”

Joanna sucked up another drink of her milk shake. “When are you planning on doing this, Shari?”

“Before Christmas. We’re going on that cruise in February, you know? The Valentine’s thing? It’s kind of a second honeymoon. That’s when I want to show them off. I’ve bought this sexy bustier thing and guess what else.” She scrunched up her shoulders and giggled mischievously.

“Not a clue,” Joanna said. She tested a bite of chicken and washed it down with a swallow of tea. Her stomach was starting to feel better.

“I got a pair of matching panties. Crotchless.” Shari giggled again.

“Good grief, Shari. Where did you get them?”

“I ordered them from a catalog. I’ve been thinking about not waiting until Valentine’s to show them off, though. I’ve been thinking about wearing them to Jay’s office one day and perching my little ass on his desk, spreading my legs and surprising him. Why, he could go down on me without even taking my panties off. I mean, if we got caught or something. That’s happened to us before, you know.”

Joanna blinked and sucked up another drink of her milk shake. Through the years, she had been privy to many of the graphic details of Shari and Jay’s relationship. She had ceased being shocked or even surprised long ago, but sometimes, knowing the private moments between her two friends made facing Jay difficult. He could never figure out why Joanna sometimes couldn’t look him in the eye when he talked about something serious.

“Anyway, I need to get this operation done and get healed up. So I won’t be out of commission on that cruise, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, it would be too bad if something happened to keep you two from having sex.”

“Well, it
would
. I’ll swear, Joanna, I don’t know how you do it. Go without like you do.”

Joanna wanted to cry again. She inhaled a deep breath and leaned forward, pushing aside her salad. “Shari, can I ask you something?”

No doubt the body language alerted Shari that something juicy was about to spill. She leaned forward, too, until their foreheads were almost touching. “Is it about sex?”

Joanna laughed in spite of her headache. “Besides raising kids, what else do you know anything about?”

“Ask me. You know you can ask me anything.”

“Exactly what days can you get pregnant?”

“Joanna!” Shari’s voice came in a stage whisper. “Are you sleeping with somebody?”

“Shh.” Joanna looked around the café to see who might have heard her. Fortunately, the lunch crowd had cleared out. “Just tell me. I haven’t thought much about it in a long time. I’ve forgotten practically everything I ever knew about sex education.”

“I’m not surprised,” Shari said. “You never practice.”

Joanna didn’t need to be reminded, especially today. She opened her palms and gave her friend a look. “And when have I had time to practice?”

Shari forked another bite of salad, sat back and held it above her plate, a professorial expression on her face. “Really, it’s only about three or four days out of the month. The little soldiers have to be in there swimming around before your egg comes down. It’s like they have to be waiting to ambush it. You just count fourteen days from the first day of your last period and figure you should be messing around for three or four days before that. If you’re trying to get pregnant, that is.”

“Now why would I be
trying
to get pregnant?”

“Oh, no!” Shari’s brown eyes grew wide. “It’s Alicia, isn’t it? I knew she was going to get caught, screwing around with that Pablo kid.”

“No! It isn’t Alicia. And don’t you dare tell people that. And you don’t know that she screws around with him.”

Shari gave her a flat look. “Joanna. I’m not an idiot. And I’m not blind.”

“I don’t want you spreading tales about Alicia.”

“Then it’s you.” She pointed a bite of lettuce on the end of her fork straight at Joanna’s nose. “Yep, it’s you, girlfriend. I can read you like a book. I’ve known you too long.” She leaned across the table and whispered, “You went to Lubbock yesterday. You got back together with Scott Goodman.”

A rush of tears burned Joanna’s eyes, but she blinked them back. “Dammit, Shari, I’m not ready to discuss it. I just want the answer to a simple question.”

A look of concern crossed Shari’s face. “Oh, my God. You’re upset. Joanna, I’m your best friend. You can tell me about it.”

Joanna quickly wiped the moisture from her eyes. “No. I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“Okay, don’t tell me. But I know it’s Scott. I heard he was upset when you broke off with him.”

Just go ahead and think that,
Joanna thought.

Shari’s brow knit into a thoughtful frown and she rambled on. “At your age, I don’t think you have to worry as much. Once you’re past thirty, the odds against are real high.”

“Shari, get real. I see pregnant women my age every day.”

“I’ll bet you don’t see as many as you think.”

“How do you know this?”

“Well…” Shari stirred her salad around her plate, then forked a chunk of chicken. “Because Jay and I started trying again a few years ago. We wanted another baby.”

“You didn’t tell me that.”

“We didn’t tell anybody. We didn’t want people to get all excited. You know that old saying about a watched pot never boiling. I got off the pill and everything. Jay and I did it nearly every night for two months. He even came home at lunch a few times.” She leaned forward again, still whispering. “Listen, we did it all kinds of ways. We used to get naked and watch porn movies.”

“Porn movies?” Joanna’s brow knit into a frown. She had never watched a porn movie, wouldn’t know where to get one if she wanted to. “Where did you get porn movies in Hatlow?”

“Jay bought a couple once when he was in Fort Worth.”

“Shari, you’ve got kids.”

Shari sat back against the booth, an expression of righteous indignation on her face. “Well, we keep them hidden, Joanna.”

Joanna shook her head, frowning. “I don’t get it. How does watching porn movies help you get pregnant?”

“Well, stop and think about it. Jay and I’ve been married going on eighteen years. I’ve never been with anybody but him. And if he’s ever been with anybody but me, he had better never let me find out about it. We were infants and virgins when we started doing it with each other. Anyway, since we were doing it so often, we thought the movies might add a little spice. Might make it more interesting.”

Joanna’s head began to pound with a vengeance. The lettuce pieces on her plate seemed to blur into a blob of pastel green. “Hm. They obviously didn’t work.”

“Actually, they were kind of boring. And kind of disgusting. I mean, the acting is so awful. And it doesn’t look real.”

“Shari, you’re dripping salad dressing on the table.”

Shari stuffed her salad bite into her mouth. “Nothing ever happened,” she said, undaunted and chewing. “You know, I never have gotten back on the pill. It’s been three years and still nothing’s ever happened. Dr. Jones says it’s just harder after you get older.” Another frown creased her brow. “I probably should get back on those pills. With this stuff going on between Cody and that little Nicole, I’m sort of out of the mood for more kids.” She speared another forkful of salad. “Just watch. Now, I’ll get pregnant.”

“Hunh,” Joanna said. “Well, all of this is more information than I need to know.”

“Joanna, do you realize you’re more experienced at sex than I am?”

An unexpected laugh burst from Joanna’s throat. “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Well, think about it now. You’ve been with more than one guy. I’m sure they’re all different, aren’t they? I mean, they gotta be built different, some big, some little. They gotta act different, don’t they?”

Now Joanna really did want to break into tears. One thing she did not need today was a comparative conversation about the few men with whom she’d had sex. It could only remind her of her rotten social life and her more rotten relationship history. “Take my word, Shari, variety isn’t the answer to anything.”

“So who’re you sleeping with?”

“Don’t nag me. I said I’m not discussing it.”

“But you must be worried or you wouldn’t have asked me about getting pregnant. I know you’re not on the pill. Whoever it is, I can’t believe you didn’t make him use something.”

Me neither
. The memory of her own role in what had happened in Dalton’s bed flew back into Joanna’s mind. And so did the same battering emotions that had almost overwhelmed her earlier in the shower. “It was, uh, we didn’t have anything.”

“Wow. And you were that hot? How cool is that?”

“Shari—”

“Can I tell Jay?”

“No! Don’t tell anyone. And I mean it. No one. It’s nobody’s business, Shari.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t say a word. But only if you promise to tell me all about it before you tell anyone else.”

Joanna rolled her eyes. She didn’t intend to tell one single person. Her greatest fear was that her mom or Clova might find out. “I promise. Just don’t mention it. You know how it is around here. I don’t want everyone in town to know every intimate detail of my life. I’m in business here. And most of my customers are women. I don’t want one of them thinking Jezebel is running the beauty shop. Suzy Martinez would have a ball telling it everywhere.”

Shari sighed. “Yeah, I know what you mean. She might even go up to Lubbock and talk about it. Or down to Denver City.”

Her demeanor changed abruptly. “Well, I’ve got to get home and fix supper for that mob that lives at my house.” She scooted out of the booth, grabbing the check. “Since I’m feeding them pizza tomorrow night before we go out, I have to fix a decent meal tonight.”

Joanna walked with her pal all the way to her pickup in the parking lot beside Joanna’s Salon & Supplies. The lunch she had just consumed weighed a hundred pounds in her stomach.

“Now, don’t forget,” Shari said, climbing behind the wheel. “We’ll come by and pick you up around six. Since it’s my birthday, I’m going to drink champagne. You might have to be the designated driver.” Shari laughed. “I mean, what are friends for? Oh, and I’m wearing my new boots and my fringe jacket.”