Sweet and Sinful (2 page)

“It wasn’t like it was my first time...something was inside me.” I blushed furiously. “I
have
used a dildo before.”

He shook his head. “It’s not the same.”

“No, it’s better. A whole hell of a lot better. In fact, I wouldn’t turn it down right now.”

Ian groaned and stepped back, away from me. “Don’t.”

“Seriously? You just
fucked
me, Ian. The damage is done. I’m no longer an ‘innocent’.”

He shook his head and looked away, a muscle twitching along his jaw. “I don’t understand. You were a virgin, but you acted so adventurous. Like you knew what you wanted.”

I shrugged and glanced down at my knotted fingers. “You brought that out in me. I know what I want when I’m with you, Ian. Girls are just as sexual as boys.” I peeked up through my lashes to see him relax a little.

“How are you feeling? Are you sore?”

“I’m perfectly fine.” Honestly, it hadn’t been the painful experience my sex-ed teachers had warned me about. “And before you ask, I’m on the pill.”

“Okay.” He exhaled and stepped forward, pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Lex. I’m sorry I never thought to have the conversation with you.”

“I didn’t want to have the conversation,” I said into his chest. “I just knew you were the right person and wanted it to happen.”

He stepped back and took my face in both hands, looking deeply into my eyes. “You are so cool, do you know that? And it means a lot to me that I was your first.
You
mean a lot to me, Lex.”

“You mean a lot to me as well.”

He pulled me into a tight hug again, kissing the top of my head. As he did so, my stomach grumbled angrily, totally ruining the moment.

“You haven’t been feeding it again.” I could hear the amusement in his voice.

It was true—I’d been cooped up in the library all day, afraid to go to the cafeteria in case I ran into him. What a coward.

“I was too busy studying,” I lied.

“I’m starving now too. I’ll grab us dinner from the cafeteria.”

Taking my hand, he led me to the leather couch and pulled the matching black leather ottoman up to it. I sighed contentedly and sat down, stretching my legs out, and he covered me with a blanket before handing me the remote.

“Find a movie or something.”

There were so many choices. Ian had a PVR box with Video-on-Demand, Netflix, and other Smart TV movie channels. Not to mention hundreds of television channels. I was still scrolling through everything when he returned with a hot pizza. We set the box on the ottoman and snuggled together under the blanket while we watched
Bridesmaids
. I’d heard it was good, but I had no idea
how
good. I was laughing so hard, pineapple went up my nose. When I glanced at Ian, he was watching me with a smile playing on his lips.

“What?”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Nothing.”

I snuggled into his side and breathed in his smell: clean laundry and Ian. His pheromones. They were the reason he drove me wild. His left hand moved to my hair, absently stroking it as his attention returned to the movie. Delightful shivers tingled through my scalp and down my neck. I had to admit, lying here beside him and watching a movie together felt pretty good. I’d never had that before. Never felt a connection to someone like I did with Ian.

I would do a lot for him, I knew that. In fact, I was pretty sure I was falling in
love
with him. That was the most dangerous part. Not dealing with his boss and student council and not the rumors that would circulate from dating a campus celebrity—but what could happen to my heart.

And Ian...he didn’t seem like the type to fall in love. He’d assumed I wasn’t a virgin for a reason, and my guess was that he hadn’t run into many of them while modeling in New York. He’d probably lost his own virginity when he started modeling at fourteen—same with the women he’d met.

I nestled in closer to him, trying to push the heavy out of mind. I was with Ian now and he wanted to date me. In his world, that had to mean something.

Despite pressure from Ian, I went home that night. Melissa was studying at her desk, that damn pencil between her teeth again.

“Hey,” I said and dropped my bag on the bed.

She didn’t look up. She did, however, pull the pencil from her mouth and begin tapping it on her textbook. I wasn’t sure which was more annoying.

“Where have you been all weekend?” Still not looking at me.

Her tone contained an edge and it felt oddly similar to being interrogated by my mother. Slowly, I sank down on the edge of the bed.

“Um, studying mostly.”

“Hmm.” She sniffed. “Ian’s been coming around, and it didn’t seem like it was about your course…Music Whatever.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I just didn’t. Finally she looked up at me, and her face was hard.

“Out with it, Alexis. What’s going on?”

My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”

“Cut the crap. What have you been doing?”

“I already told you. I’m just stressed out. Don’t want to flunk my first year.”

“And that has to do with Ian how?”

“We’re in a class together.”

“Like I said, I don’t believe you.”

The truth was, she really didn’t want to hear the truth. Not in this mood. So I changed the topic to her favorite subject: Melissa. Some people might catch on to this trick, but with Melissa it was a sure win. She couldn’t help but talk about herself.

“You seem upset. What’s wrong?” I asked in the most compassionate voice I could muster. “Everything going all right with you and Gary?”

Her eyes went cold. So cold, I had to suppress a shiver.

“No, they are not going
all right
.” She glared at me for a moment longer before her shoulders slumped and she let out a defeated sigh. “He said he would call—you know, after that night—but he never did.”

“Shitty.” I looked down at my hands knotted in my lap. I sucked at girl talk. “Have you seen him? In class or anything?”

She snorted bitterly. “Yeah. He acts like he always did. I guess I just had a different idea about what happened between us. He probably does that with tons of girls.”

The image of Gary spanking a girl behind a screen popped into my mind and I quickly shoved it aside. Gross.

Melissa tossed her hair over her shoulder. “He’s a pervert anyway. I mean, he likes to paddle girls in schoolgirl uniforms.” Her eyes narrowed on me again, and a sense of unease slid over me.

“He wasn’t the only guy I knew at that party,” she said, still studying me. “Ian was there too. And unless he ended up there by accident, he gets his kicks the same way. Apparently our RC is into spanking girls as well.”

There was something dangerous in her tone. She didn’t just sound bitter, she sounded vindictive.
A woman scorned
. The thought popped into my mind and I realized how right that saying was. A woman scorned could make mistakes…ones that hurt other people.

“If you must know, he came to see me,” I said.

She smiled like a cat. “I know. And paddle your little minor ass.”

I glared at her. “No, his friend told him that I looked lost and obviously didn’t know what the party was all about, which I didn’t. He came to help get me out of there.”

Melissa sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “So he likes you.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Hmm.”

I sighed. She was still staring at me with a weird expression. “Well why don’t you ask him?”

Finally she broke eye contact and looked back down at her book. “I doubt he does. He’s Ian Crawford. He can have anyone.”

For a moment I sat there, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. Then I grabbed my cosmetic bag and escaped to the bathroom.

***

I woke up sore.

If I needed a reminder that I’d been a virgin, now I had it. Everything had felt normal the night before but today was a different story. Every time I sat down, I had a reminder of Ian.

I winced as I slid into the seat beside his in our History of Music class. We were five minutes early and I was still groggy. “Morning.”

With a smile way too wide for such an early morning, he passed me a banana. “Phallic breakfast. Thought it was appropriate considering last night’s events.”

“How thoughtful. And romantic.”

“I knew you’d think so.” He leaned closer so I could feel his breath on my cheek. “How are you feeling today?”

I flushed and crossed my legs, grateful for the dark of the auditorium. “I feel
you
.”

“Mm. I thought you might.”

I glared at him. “Does that make you happy?”

“Not especially. I’m not an asshole.”

Still he did look a wee bit proud of himself. I rolled my eyes but smiled.

“We’ll just have to take it easy over the next few days.” His eyes dropped to my lips, those dark lashes fanning his cheeks. “I thought about you all last night though, so as soon as you’re feeling better, we’ll be doing that again. That and other things. I figure I have more to teach you.”

My heart skipped a beat. “So you’ve decided to go ahead and corrupt an innocent.”

“I’m fairly certain
my
innocent is looking to be corrupted.”

“
Your
innocent?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You said it yourself,” he said with a smirk. “You want to be mine.”

“That was in the heat of the moment. Sex talk doesn’t mean anything.”

“Whatever you say.”

Still smirking, he sat back in his seat as the professor entered the auditorium, followed by a surge of students. 8 a.m. classes were the worst.

I couldn’t concentrate the entire class. It was like I was on high alert for everything Ian. All of it distracted me—his fingers on the keys, any slight shift he made in his seat. Even his damn aura tingled against my skin.

When class ended, he placed his hand on my lower back as we filed out of our row. The action was possessive but not obvious enough that anyone around us would know. He didn’t take his hand away until we were out of the lecture hall, and even then it was reluctantly. The small of my back instantly felt cold.

“I’m planning to talk to Bruce today,” he told me as we walked. “Bruce being my boss.”

“Right.”

Sensing my discomfort, he reached out and touched my shoulder, turned me to face him. “It’ll be all right. The RC position isn’t worth not being with you. Worst case scenario: they kick me out and I rent a sweet apartment. It’s not like I don’t have the cash.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sometimes it’s hard to feel sorry for you.”

“That’s the point. Don’t.”

“Hey, Alexis.”

I turned to see Daniel standing beside me, hands shoved casually in his pockets and blue eyes smiling. Daniel was in my poetry course and was cute in that boy-next-door kind of way. I was surprised he even knew my name—I’d maybe talked to him once or twice in class.

“Oh hey,” I responded.

Ian moved closer to me and crossed his arms, assessing Daniel coolly.

“How’s your poem for this week coming?” Daniel asked. “I really liked that one you presented last week. Just wanted to tell you that.” He shifted uncomfortably as if he had more to say but was considering whether or not it was a good idea. “You’re pretty good.”

 “Thanks,” I said shyly. I’d never been good at accepting compliments.

“It was pretty intense,” he continued. “Where did you get the idea, or was it inspired from your own life?” He reddened a bit. “I don’t mean to pry or anything.”

Ian’s eyes narrowed on Daniel briefly before he looked at me, raised an eyebrow. “What’s this guy on about?”

Now I reddened. “Ian, this is Daniel. He’s in my poetry writing class.”

Ian snorted. “I’m not surprised.”

Daniel’s mouth popped open. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s talking about the poem I was picked to present.” I quickly began filling Ian in before the inevitable fight could begin. “On Friday.”

“Oh yeah? And what was it about?”

I hesitated. “Love.”

“But not a traditional love.” Daniel turned to Ian, his voice taking on a tone of superiority. “An intense and perhaps unhealthy addiction to another person. You’d have to read it to understand.”

Ian didn’t look impressed.

“However the guy sounds dangerous and fucked up,” Daniel added as if by an afterthought. “I got the impression she knows she should stay away from him but she’s trapped by her feelings and too far gone. She’s headed down a dark road.”

“Um that’s not really what it was about,” I said, peeking nervously at Ian. “It’s just all so new for her and he is more experienced and she doesn’t know what to expect. It was supposed to feel real. Like song lyrics.”

Ian draped an arm over my shoulders, his eyes still on Daniel. “Sounds like you missed the intention of the poem, dude.”

Daniel’s jaw tightened. “I suppose that’s partly why I love poetry: we can read our own meaning into it. At any rate, nice talking to you, Alexis.”

When he left, I shrugged out of Ian’s arm and began walking again, keeping my head down so that he couldn’t see my heated face. Of all the bad luck—I’d never intended for Ian to learn about the poem. I’d written it the day I’d started avoiding him, back when I was all torn about whether or not to give in to my urges. I also hadn’t expected to be called upon in class to read it. That had been one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life.

For a while we walked in silence, and then Ian finally spoke.

“So you wrote a poem about us.”

“Not us per se,” I said softly, my eyes on my shoes. “Maybe it was initially inspired by us, but it took on a life of its own. All my lyrics do. That’s why he referred to it as being an addiction to another person.”

Ian stopped walking. “But it is an addiction.”

“What?” I stopped to face him again. We were now in the middle of the block.

“What I feel for you. It could be considered an addiction.”

“Yeah. I guess it could.”

Ian reached out and inserted a finger into the front of my jeans, pulled me to him. His grin was mischievous, infectious. “And I need my Lex fix.”