Brody nodded and strode toward the center of the clearing with Duke by his heels.
“So, what’s going to happen exactly?” I shined my flashlight against Zach’s chest to see his face better. The moon above actually provided a lot of light. Once my eyes had adjusted, seeing wasn’t so hard now, but it didn’t mean I would put the flashlight away. It felt like an extra set of eyes and that gave a warm comfort.
Zach’s mouth opened to respond, but Brody answered first. “Just stand there with the others and I’ll send Duke out on the search.” He stopped in the middle of the open space, snapped his fingers and Duke’s attention came straight to his eyes. He unclipped the leash and waved out. “
Revier.
”
I leaned over to Eddie, not wanting to disturb the dog, and whispered, “What did he tell the dog to do?”
“Blind search,” Eddie replied, equally as quiet.
The answer didn’t completely make sense, but within minutes, Duke showed me it meant to find something unknown. Duke started at one side of the clearing and kept his nose to the ground as he ran in a grid formation.
By this time, Duke had run the outside of the clearing and now worked in vertical lines from the top of the clearing right to where we stood. “How long does something like this normally take?”
“Not long,” Eddie answered.
“If the body was recently buried here, the dog would probably have caught it the second we entered the grounds. Considering Hannah was buried five years ago, it’ll take him a little longer.” Kipp clearly took pity on me and explained in further detail, which I appreciated.
Ten minutes later, I felt bad for the poor dog. Duke kept at it, went as strong as he had when he first put his nose to the ground, but nothing happened. He hadn’t barked, stopped or did whatever he did when he found a body. “I’m beginning to think the lead you all got was wrong.”
Before Zach answered, Brody called out, “Don’t be so sure. Duke has alerted.”
I glanced back at Duke and found him lying on the ground with his head resting between his paws. He appeared as relaxed as any lazy dog on a Sunday afternoon. “That’s how he alerts there’s a body there?”
Zach snorted. “What were you expecting? Barking, tail wagging, jumping up and down?”
I nodded. “Ah yeah, that’s exactly what I expected.”
“There’s a possible body beneath the ground.” Brody stared at me, looking annoyed at my stupidity. “No one is happy when we make a discovery.”
“Er…right.” After a few seconds of feeling like crap for thinking such a thing, I let myself off the hook. I hadn’t meant to imply the time was a happy one. “So what’s the plan now?”
“It’s time to dig.” Eddie handed me a shovel.
I took it, realized what he suggested and tried to hand it back to him. “You don’t seriously expect me to help dig her up?”
Zach took the shovel from my hand. “You and…” He glanced at Brody and back to me. “You don’t need to see this.” He gestured back toward the way we had come. “Go for a walk or something and come back in a little while.”
I smiled the biggest thank-you possible. Zach returned the grin and headed off to fall into step with Eddie. When they reached Duke, I spun around to face Kipp. “It’s time to go.”
He nodded. “Let’s take a stroll.”
I followed behind him, but kept glancing over my shoulder. Again, I was at the back and didn’t like it one bit. I quickened my steps and ran right through Kipp. My teeth chattered as coldness rushed over my body, but I ignored it and didn’t stop until I stood in front of him.
Kipp’s chuckle came loud behind me. “What can I do to protect you if something sneaks up on you?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I retorted, not ashamed I was acting like a silly girl. “It just feels better.”
As we walked toward the creek, the full moon created a pretty glow and the air was warm without any humidity. “Besides what is going on here, it’s a lovely night tonight.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” he responded sharply.
I turned back at him. “You can’t feel the air?”
“I have no senses, remember? The air around me just feels cold.”
My heart sank at the melancholy in his tone. Instead of reacting to it, I returned my gaze forward and walked on. “Well, it’s one of those nights where the air is warm, but fresh.”
Kipp said nothing and I never looked back. I kept my focus on the forest floor lit by my flashlight and suspected if I saw what lay in his eyes now, I’d crumble into pieces.
Chapter Nine
At the creek, I bent down and ran my hands through the cold water. The walk through the forest had been tough enough for sweat to gather on my forehead and a couple of beads dripped down my spine.
I scooped up the water to splash on my neck and Kipp whispered, “I’m not as damned as I thought.”
The water splashed across my skin and an instant rush of rejuvenation flared through me. I lowered my hands and glanced at him over my shoulder. “Why would you think you were damned?”
“Never going to church, committing sins, things such as that.”
I got to my feet, wiped my damp hands on my jeans and joined him on the tree trunk he sat upon. “I’ve never met a single ghost who seemed perfect, so I think the rules of being accepted into heaven might not be what everyone thinks.”
Kipp laughed. “Apparently, if I fall into that category.”
His remark surprised me. He honestly believed he didn’t feel worthy of dancing with the angels. It made no sense. “What have you done that is so bad you think you deserve hell?”
His expression shone with a thousand times of guilt. “Broken hearts.”
“You’re a heartbreaker?” I grinned with sass in an attempt to lighten his mood. “I don’t believe it.”
Kipp snorted. “I’m not lying that my interest in you is a first.”
The admission made me smile. I liked being his first love. “So, you’ve never had a long-term girlfriend before?”
He lifted an eyebrow. “What’s your definition of long?”
“Anything longer a month?”
“Then no.”
It just seemed so unlikely. “Never—ever?”
“Being a cop, relationships are hard to come by. We work long, strange hours and most women get bored with the cop lifestyle real fast.”
Okay, that all made sense. No women would want a man whom she only saw on days off, but it still didn’t add up. “Yeah, but you said you broke hearts, not they broke yours.”
He sighed and glanced back to the creek. “When it came to the job or them, my job came first—always.”
Ah ha! “That’s what broke their hearts then, your choice, you mean?”
He nodded.
This didn’t seem all that bad to me. It’s not as if he made promises he hadn’t kept. “Well, I don’t think you should feel bad about it. Your job was important to you.”
He looked at me knowingly. “That’s what I wonder…”
I didn’t need him to finish. “Was it the right choice, you mean?”
“Something like that.” He sighed deeply again and looked at the ground. “I just wonder what my life would have been like if I never made those choices. What if I switched from homicide to a different sector of the department and worked day shifts? What if I chose to commit to a woman?”
“Those are a lot of ifs in your statement. Besides, think of how many lives you have saved. That’s gotta be a guaranteed ticket to heaven. And anyway, if this didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have met.”
Kipp glanced at me and his expression declared I just confirmed what he’d been thinking. “I wonder if the reason I met you is to show me what life could have been like and what I missed out on.”
My heart wrenched. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I think this is all just a coincidence.”
“You believe that?”
I nodded. “I don’t think there is some underlying magical power here that has brought us together. I think we met by chance.” My voice sounded strong, even though every word I’d just spoken was a lie. There were too many twists of fate here. But I hadn’t figured it all out yet. Was I here for him or was he here for me? Until I had the answer, I wouldn’t speak of it.
He didn’t look convinced. “Whatever the reason, I’ve learned a good lesson and I’m glad it happened.”
“Glad you died?” I exclaimed.
Kipp stared at me, dead serious. “If it meant it brought me you, then yes, I’m glad I died.”
I shook my head. “You can’t possibly mean that.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
There were so many answers to give him, it became impossible to choose one to prove my point. Instead of listing them all, I settled on the one that held strongest. “Because I’m not that special, trust me.”
His expression remained unchanged. “I beg to differ.”
I snorted, a little uncomfortable at the turn of the conversation. “You’re being way too kind. You’ve seen only bits and pieces of who I am. All the good stuff.”
“I doubt there’s anything about you I wouldn’t like.”
I laughed. “Experience me through PMS and you’d see what I’m talking about.”
He traced along my jawline with his finger and the cold air refreshed me in the warm night. “I can only hope I have that long to experience you.”
How true were his words? I wished we had more time too; a lifetime for us to be together. But wishing for something and getting it wasn’t real life. “Yeah, it sucks.”
“Sucks.” Kipp chuckled and touched my nose with the tip of his finger to leave an icy spot. “That’s one way to put it.”
I’d seen ghosts filter through their guilt when they realized they were dead. Of course, now things were more personal and feeling his pain wasn’t in any way enjoyable. But I also understood if I continued to hold on to him like this, when he crossed over it’d be met with not only longing, but regret—not a good way for ghosts to go. As much as I didn’t want to do it, the time to settle him had come, no matter that my heart told me to do otherwise.
“Your time is up, Kipp,” I said, a bit more firmly and coldly than I felt inside. “You can’t dwell on what-ifs and what could have been. It’s over. There’s no going back so you can do things differently.”
His eyes flashed with amusement lingering on a tinge of annoyance. “Are you trying to make me feel better? If you are, you’re doing a piss-poor job of it.”
I smiled at his dig. “From what I’ve learned of you, you’re kind and loyal. You’ve saved lives and brought home loved ones to people who’ve waited a long time. All of these things are who you were. Your life was that and always will be, but think of what you left behind. All the lives you’ve changed, touched, including mine.”
The side of his mouth arched up slightly. “How many ghosts have you said that exact line to?”
“I’ve never said…” I could tell by his stern gaze that he didn’t believe me, so I added, “Okay, well, maybe a couple times, but with you it’s more personal. I didn’t know them, so when I said it, I actually didn’t really mean it.”
Kipp grinned. “You’re a special woman, Tess.”
I rolled my eyes, refusing to accept the compliment. “Yep, special—that’s me.”
“No, this is something you need to hear. I listened to you, it’s only right you do the same.” I nodded for him to get on with it. He laughed quietly. “This thing you can do, whatever it is, is not anything someone would receive if unworthy.”
I guffawed at the implication of what he suggested. “It was a fluke from the accident.”
He shook his head, firm and steady. “I highly doubt that.”
“Let me guess,
that
wasn’t a coincidence either?”
He nodded.
“You know, for a person who thought he’d be damned, you sure believe in the magical nonsense.”
“Not magical necessarily, just something…” He examined me.
I swatted at his face and the cold air caused goose bumps to rise along my skin. “Stop looking at me like that.”
His laugh came loud, but he didn’t move away from my hand. “Like what?”
“Like I’m some guardian angel on a mission.”
He didn’t deny my accusation. “I don’t know what it is you are, but it’s something far from normal.”
This wasn’t an eye-opening experience and had definitely not been something I hadn’t thought over. “I could have told you that much.”
He shrugged. “I guess all I’m saying is all these little hesitations in yourself, the self-doubt and confusion, it’s all without merit. When this is over and I’m gone, just remember what I said. Do you promise me you won’t forget?”
“Why do you have to say sweet things like that?” My chin trembled and my eyes watered. The words he said, the tenderness in his tone—it made my heart go pitter-patter. “Why do you have to be so damn perfect?”
He grinned haughtily. “Because I am perfect.”
“Don’t push it.” I brushed a tear away.
His arrogant grin remained. “Just remember to use these gifts to help others, don’t make it as difficult as you did for me.”
“O-oh,” I sputtered as a revelation formed. “You think I met you to learn how to help people, don’t you?”
He inclined his head. “I’d suspect that’s what you’re getting from this, yes.”