Sunset Sunrise Sun (3 page)

Thorn birds cuddled in our bed
I choked on a black-red fish bread
I want to cut this porcelain heart with a dull dagger
You were a Hyena-bragger

Fly-lies swanked through my meltdown thoughts
You gave me a pathway filled with disappointments
We built our dreams in the Milky Way
The sky turned a dark grey

HOW DO I...?
 

How do I keep smiling when my eyes drowns in tears
How do I escape from this desert-cell when I can’t even
find the invincible door

How do I run through the memory-forest without
any exit
I’m a prisoner in my body
Golf balls in my mouth

I’m being punished for a crime I never committed
For years, I have been caged up.
My wings slashed off because of my enforced
body-prison

Songbirds sang
Butterflies danced in my lap
Still I climbed Mount Everest with four wheels

I leopard crawled through the landmine-obstacles
I’ve been battered and bruised still survival fizzled through my blood

The world judged my skeleton display
Why couldn’t they Google my mind
They gave me their artificial strawberry-judgments

How do I cling to a happy-ending future when nuclear bombs want
to send me back to prehistoric darkness

ANTARTICA
 

Each time you gave me your empty promises
My heart committed a bit more suicide

Guess you weren’t use to infinity love
I’d have given you my life if you asked me to

What happened to our happy ever after
You promised me no more darkness
You gave me a paper mansion

You said we had a love-bond no one would break
Why did your blue words cut us apart

Your mind games went to Antarctica
You shot my cruise down every time
I couldn’t swim in icy water anymore
You infected me with toxin

FOREVER AND A DAY
 

When we looked into our eyes
we saw our future
We breathed as one

You hurt me like no other
I gave you chances, too many chances
You went too far and broke my human-heart

You gave my love-soul Rohypnol
I was paralyzed with fire-fear
You never lifted your hand against me

Your black whip-tongue slashed through every
centimeter of my battered soul
We went on a marriage-roller coaster

You told those closest to you I left you
Boy, what did your whip-tongue tell me on the 15th
Your cheating hands crashed my whole paradise world

I was left in the desert without a survival kit
I wondered in a mist
Where did we go wrong
Was it all my fault

You said
I want to be with my wife again
Your wind-words caused a pain avalanche

You buried my heart under the D-word
We didn’t have forever after and a day

ALCATRAZ-ELLIPSE
 

I gave you my heart
from the dawn-start
You tore my love-leaves one by one
I was shot with a blue sun

You hold me in your arms
You promised no more harm-farms
We loved so intensely
You went dancing capriciously

Your soulmate was the golden beer
You changed into a satanic sphere
Our marriage hanged from a locked-wire rope
I was on a narrow walk plank slope

Red dragon hatred spiraled through my veins
I was covered by black-feather disdains
I heard them say; it’s Karma
You infected me with Miasma
clothed me with a stigma

Was I the only one who committed this crime
You were a honey-slime
Your raptor-email found me first
Oh, your sweet chocolate-words were perfectly rehearsed

Your wolf-words said;
If you want money stand on the street corner
You turned into a marriage-executioner

Why was I the only one getting stipple-whipped
You went on your cheater’s trip
Your conquering smile colored your lips
I was imprisoned at Alcatraz-ellipse

MY ANGEL CHILD
 

Touching my stomach with trembling butterfly
fingers
Knowing I’d never feel you growing in me
Earthquake tremors ripped my tortured heart to
pieces
My eyes swam in my blue-stormy tears

I’d never feel you playing in my soul
You’d never talk to me in my thoughts
I’d never hear you knocking in my womb
Your first blossom breath would never be heard by my
ears

My arms-blanket would be forever empty
Your first birthday would stay invisible in my birthday
calendar

You’d never call me Momma
Never would I help you find your first step or tell everyone
you broke my favourite porcelain plate

Never would I dress you in flowers
What would your first word be
Miss your first school day
 

The roller-coaster teenage years
First love scars and the why-tears

Midnight sneaks backs when you think I won’t wait for
you
Stone words between you and I when you found your
own wisdom

Your pathway; a doctor, lawyer or just a fantasy
dreamer
Your rainbow golden day and my tears hidden behind a
make-up smile

Why did I have a hysterectomy in my spring years
Now I’d be forever crucified in my longing pain for my angel
child

You’ll be sealed forever in my burning, longing
heart

HALF A WOMAN
 

I walk with four wheels
Golf balls in my mouth
Can’t even put a sea-dress on my soul

Hands bent like old wood
Body wrenched in Cerebral Palsy
Is this a life sentence

Acquainted with the night for four millenniums
Stumbled through the desert
Lips burst open and bled
My angel wings cut
Couldn’t even carry a child in my womb

Screaming tears behind a smiling mask
Deep purple sadness painted my eyes
Love slipped away like water through my disconnected
fingers

How can a man see my summer-soul through
his eyes
Where’s my dwelling unicorn
For love is stippled deep in my heart as a myth

Why, oh why, must I be half a woman

SOUL-HEART
 

When I looked into your paper-moon eyes
Your soul was hidden behind an Antarctica-mask
I tasted you in my soul
Your womb-words were captured in jargon

We were only islands in a stream
sailing into a new world
Our eyes never met in sunlight
My heart was in bondage by dark clouds
You brought the sun back into my life
You were the smile in my eyes
My laughter in my voice

We knew each other for a second
Yet our souls were one
We shared our deepest fantasies
I swam in your mind
Indulged in every inch of your Milky Way-mind

You slowly opened your secret door for me
Wanted to feel your oak arms around me
Caressed your moon-flower face with my fingers
Your bubblegum-lips on my cherry-blossom

You disappeared into your hermit-house once again
Saltwater colored my window-eyes
My soul lost her mate
You stole my soul-heart with your hazelnut eyes

CHAPTER 4
BUOYANCY

HOPE-WINGS
 

Through toils and snarls I went
It’s not yet the end
My spirit’s strong
God’s never wrong

Through the darkness of the night
God surrounded me with His light
He lifted me up to stand on mountains
He let me drink out of love-fountains

Caged like a bird
My rescue song was never referred
Flowers of hope slowly grows
God’s integrity never outgrows

Patience sails in me
I receive God’s future key
Fire tongues won’t touch me anymore
I open the sky door

Celebrations are raining upon me
Rain-dolphins dance in my love-sea

I’m flying on hope-wings and sings
sunflower-songs

FIREWORKS SWAN
 

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Held captive by Seth
I sat quietly and agreed politely
You never treated me commensurately

I forget I had a choice
Too scared to find my fire-voice
I let you push me down
I wore my masquerade gown

You pushed me past breaking point
My Disney-words were disjointed
I ate your chocolate sneers
You covered me with your goose-guilt fears

I saw out of my hermit-window my winking legs
Fastened your infatuation with steel pegs

I went from zero to my own hero
My champion-roar will shatter the universe foundation from
now on

I’m now a fireworks-swan

NEW FEATHER DAY
 

Buried deep in the sand
Nowhere a helping hand
Drifted like a paper bag in the arms of the wind
My angels and demons intertwined

Wonder how will I rise above
Let the earth calls its bluff
Can I still make a spotlight
There’s a spark I want to ignite

Don’t feel like a waste of space anymore
Found my future door
I am going to shine brighter than the moon
Everyone is going to listen to my
balloon-tune

Joyful songs come from flower lips
I hold on to my sunshine-blips
I’m stronger than yesterday
Your oyster-critics are miles away

I kiss the rainbow
Whale-happiness free me from the Bilbo
With the grace of God I put one wheel in front of the other

I dance with a new feather day
 

21ST CENTURY BETRAYAL
 

Bloodshed tears engulfed my heart
No happy-ever-after gift card
Bubble gum surgery can’t help me now
I sat on the wings of a black crow

You spoke to a ghost voice
I slipped on a banana-skin choice
We made love in Montego Bay
My bypass-grafting heart was served on a
skin-graft tray

Your phantom-number sailed through my
cyclone-fingers
Your raptor’s aura lingers
Spider webs entangled my mind
Your love-assassins were assigned

I swam through rivers of denial
I was the judge on your cheater’s trial
You were found guilty of a 21st century betrayal
My fiery–justice has prevailed

Too long did I wander in my winters-gown
No more would I be your clown
 

I won’t succumb to you anymore
I walked through a new future-door

WITH THE HELP OF MY FRIENDS
 

When I went into my black canyon, you reached in
and grabbed my hand
I sat on your shoulders through the stormy waters

When my head hanged, you gave me your shoulder
When tears flooded my eyes, dams were build
to catch them

Hurricanes came and threatened me, you let me
into your house
Safety and security were my neighbours

We laughed when the sun kissed me
You let me discover myself
I found my hidden treasures with your help

Music soft was your advice
Freedom came out of your hand
You bestowed baskets of love upon me

With the help of my friends
I’ll waltz into a brighter future

SOON A NEW DAY WILL DAWN
 

For years I sat behind a smokescreen
Reached out for a hero scene
Ran with the norther
Had to come back with the souther

Smothered by evil for years
Wore my cloak of fears and tears
Thought I had a death sentence
Never allowed to have diamond-independence

Surfed on the wings of a new day
You were covered with mud-decay
Swam with crocs and sharks
You left me stark naked in the chaos-parks

Slowly I stood up
Drank out of a miracle cup
Sunrise flew through my smile
Received a ruby from the jovial Nile

Golden showers falls upon me
In my hand is the millennium key
I’m standing on the edge of the mushroom-predawn
Soon a new day will dawn

ABOUT CLEO PATRA
 

I have physically limitations and have dysarthria.
From an early age, I have endured sexual abuse,
arrogance and ignorant discrimination against me.
To cushion myself against the judgements of other
people, I protected myself by creating an invisible
shield around me. I could not relate to anyone and
felt very lonely and isolated. When I was sixteen,
I accidently discovered I could write poems. I
started writing poetry as a way to express myself
without struggling to get the words out. My thoughts
could now be heard as my perfect voice, and I could
speak without embarrassment. I felt and still feel
“free” when writing poetry and I have found my voice.

My poetry reflects my responses to harmful experiences,
unfair decision-making and the struggles of romantic
relationships for a physically challenged woman. My
struggles are not unlike physically-abled women except
they are amplified by my increased vulnerability. I think
you will find my poetry easy reading expressing with
words the emotions of the highs and lows of life.

HOPE IS AN ETERNAL FLAME THAT BURNS
DEEP INSIDE OUR HEARTS AND WILL LAST
FOREVER

DEDICATIONS
 

This book is dedicated to my grandmother, my best
male friend in High School and a very close dear friend
who I met when I was on a difficult path. Waterfalls of
love were poured onto me by all of you throughout my
life. All of you gave me rainbows of memories, which
are stippled deep in the corners of my heart.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
 

I wish to personally thank the following people for
their contributions to my inspiration and knowledge
and other help in creating this book.

The contributions include, but not limit to; advice,
support, proofreading.