Summer of Sloane (25 page)

As it turns out, there isn’t anything for us to eat in the house. The refrigerator holds nothing but a half carton of milk, one egg, a container of take-out leftovers, and a jar of olives. The cupboards are just as bare. I take one sniff of the leftovers and throw them out. They’ve probably been sitting in there since I left. I can’t believe this is how my dad lives when we’re gone.

“Come on, let’s go grab a burger, my treat.” Tyler places a hand on my head and turns me around from the kitchen toward the front door. “So were you able to get a hold of Fink?”

He looks at me sideways and smiles. We both know he knows his name. But when he sees my face, his smile straightens out and disappears. As he throws his car in reverse and backs it out from my driveway, I stare out my window, chewing on my thumbnail.

“He was with another girl.” I don’t miss his audible intake of air. “God, what the hell is wrong with me?”

Tyler drives for a few moments, not saying anything. He grips the steering wheel tightly and stares straight ahead as we come to a stop sign, but then he turns and looks me square in the eye.

“Sloane, there’s
absolutely
nothing wrong with you. It’s all us douche bags that can’t seem to realize the good thing we have when we have it.”

Even though this all started because of her, I wish Mick were here. The Mick from before. More than anything in the world. She would help me figure this whole mess out.

How could everything have gotten this bad? There’s so much wrong right now, and it’s not just in my life. We’ve all been caught up in this ever-expanding spiderweb of bad decisions.

Instead of going to our favorite hangout, Tyler drives a little farther out of town, and I don’t even need to ask why. I can’t find it in me to pretend I want to talk to anyone we know, especially with the abundance of topics for them to choose from. I guess Tyler is feeling the same way.

We sit down in a corner booth and Tyler slides a chocolate milk shake and a cheeseburger wrapped in orange paper my way. He dumps the fries out between us on the paper liner from his own burger, then begins to dig in. Well, Tyler digs in. I move some fries around from one side to the other, then back again.

I think about Mick lying in the hospital, with God knows how many tubes and machines attached, keeping her stable. I think about how many times she reached out to me and I ignored them all. I ignored her.

I stare at Tyler as he fiddles with his straw and spaces off somewhere else. I never would have thought three months ago I’d be sitting right where I am. Trying to figure out, pinpoint exactly, when Mick decided she was in love with my boyfriend. Wondering if there was anything I possibly could’ve done to have stopped it from happening. And I can’t help but think about how different everything could’ve been if I had.

I would’ve said good-bye to my best friend and my boyfriend and gone to visit my mom like I always have. I would’ve still met Finn, but because Tyler and I would have been together, nothing more would have happened. Summer would end, and I’d come back home and start my senior year with nothing but a great tan to show for the last few months.

I actually laugh out loud, and Tyler stares at me. But then I can’t look at him, and I dig the heels of my palms into my eyes, like if I can’t see him, he can’t see me. I plant my elbows on the table and stay like that, hidden from everything.

I can’t believe Mick almost died in a car accident. I can’t believe less than an hour ago I was sleeping next to Tyler, and that we kissed. And I can’t believe Finn was with Gianna and that he actually hung up on me. I can’t believe any of it. It all feels like it’s been a really sick and twisted dream and at some point I’ll wake up.

But who am I kidding? It’s all real. Everything is.

We’re headed back to my house when Bryson finally calls. Tyler hands his phone to me to answer.

“Hey, it’s Sloane. How’s Mick? What’s going on?”

“Hey, it’s good to hear your voice. Tyler mentioned you were headed back to town.” There’s a slight rustle on the line as Bryson speaks to someone there in the background. “Sorry about that, I only have a minute….It was my turn to make a food run, so I thought I’d try to catch you guys while I was out. Reception inside the hospital is pretty much nonexistent.”

He thanks whoever is helping him.

“So…” He pauses to take a breath. “Things are still really iffy right now. Her condition is serious, but at least she’s stable. She was in surgery most of the morning and has a lot of internal injuries affecting both her pelvis and spleen. It took them a while to find the source of the bleeding and get it to stop. That’s on top of a busted-up leg and arm and a pretty serious concussion. She’s still heavily sedated right now, so she’s not awake, but we’re hoping she’s through the worst of it. Her doctor says that if all goes well through the night, there’s an eighty percent chance of a full recovery.”

I realize he’s waiting for me to say something, but I can hardly absorb what I’ve heard.

“If…” My voice cracks. “If all goes well through the night? Is there a chance that it won’t?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. You know how cryptic doctors can be. But I’ve got to believe everything’s going to be okay. Although she’s not going to be happy once she wakes up and hears how long she’ll need to stay here.”

“Why, how long do they think she’ll need to stay?”

“Right now they’re saying it could be anywhere from several weeks to maybe a couple of months. It all depends on her recovery. And she’ll need to be in physical therapy for a while after that.”

Everything, all of it, makes me feel numb to my very core. I try to piece it together. Try to understand exactly what it could mean. But there’s too much. Or maybe there’s not enough. And I realize seeing her is the only answer.

“Is there any chance I can see her? I promise I won’t stay long.”

He hesitates for a moment, and I think he wants to tell me no. “We’re hoping they’ll upgrade her condition tomorrow. If they do, then she can have visitors.” He pauses for a second. “Look, Sloane, to be completely honest, I’m not sure my mom wants you or Tyler to see her. You know how she can be.”

I don’t miss the meaning in his words. Mrs. Peterson blames me, blames Tyler, for breaking her daughter.

“Yeah, I know how she can be.”

“Hey, I’ll do what I can. I’ll come up with something. Just wait for me to call you in the morning. I’ll know more then. I gotta run, Sloane, but it was really good talking to you and I promise, tomorrow, okay?”

“Tomorrow. Thanks, Brys.” I’m not sure if he hears me because the phone disconnects.

I try to put on a happy face as I turn toward Tyler, but I know he can see right through it all. I tell him everything Bryson just told me.

“That bitch.” He punches the ceiling of his car. “She honestly believes Mick had
nothing
to do with anything that happened? That all of this is our fault?”

“I guess so….I don’t know. She’s probably freaking out, Tyler. She’s probably just looking for anyone to blame.”

I reach over and take his hand in mine, and he grips it something fierce.

“She’s not entirely wrong, you know. If I had just talked to her once, just
once
—maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.” I look up and see the same guilt I’m feeling flash in his eyes. “If I could go back, I’d do so many things differently. I’d do it all so differently.”

“Me too,” he whispers. “You have no idea.”

My dad calls to let me know he’ll be on the first flight out tomorrow morning and will be here sometime around noon. Tyler spends the night, but only because I don’t want to be home by myself, and we stay up telling stories about Mick. We laugh at different memories, one in particular of Mick and me sneaking out of my house to go pick up Tyler and a few of the other boys.

I cover my mouth, holding back a laugh. “She kept telling me I had to keep it down, but then she was the one that totally slipped and tumbled down the entire staircase,
on her ass
, and woke up my dad and half the neighborhood!”

“I know, right? I thought for sure you both were going to be grounded for life! You’re lucky your dad is so cool.”

Oh, how true that is. Because had it been Mick’s parents that caught us, it would’ve been an entirely different outcome, even for me.

“Or that time when the police caught us after we’d TP’d and forked your house? Shit, we were digging a hole in your front yard and sticking a For Sale sign in the ground when they pulled up!”

I laugh until the tears come, and then I can’t remember anything funny anymore. All I know is that Mick has to get better. She has to pull through.

Tyler and I are out having breakfast the next morning when Bryson finally calls. My heart leaps when I hear the phone, and then I feel both disappointed and totally ashamed when I see who it is. Because I’d immediately pictured Finn, and now I can’t believe I’m that self-centered. I take a deep breath. I’m almost afraid to answer it, but I do.

“Hey.”

“Hey. So listen. Mick woke up shortly after I spoke to you yesterday, and although she was still pretty out of it, she had a really good night. She’s not in the clear yet, but she’s definitely feeling better this morning. So I convinced my dad to take my mom out for lunch later today, and they should be gone for at least an hour. Think you guys can be here around noon?”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “That’s…that’s great news, Bryson. And of course we can be there at noon.” I glance down at my watch and see that we have a little over an hour and a half. “Thank you…for what you’re doing. Just…thanks.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’ll see you guys later.”

An hour and a half seems like a lot of time, until you realize everything from the past month is about to come flooding back. And then it doesn’t seem like enough time at all. Before I even really have a chance to digest what I’m going to say or how I’m going to say it, Tyler is already pulling his car into an open spot in the hospital parking lot.

“You ready?”

I wipe my hands down the top of my thighs. “You know what? I am.”

I make a quick pit stop at the hospital gift shop. The selection is bare, which is never a good thing at a hospital. I end up with a bouquet of sad-looking flowers and a stuffed bear that has his arm in a sling and a Band-Aid on his head.

Bryson is waiting for us in the lobby. “My parents just left, so we have a little less than an hour. But, um, you guys should know. Mick received some not-so-great news this morning—I’ll let her tell you herself. Oh, and she doesn’t know you guys are coming. I was hoping the surprise would help put her in a better mood.”

I glance at Tyler, and we trade the same look. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing she doesn’t know we’re here.

The doors of the elevator open on Mick’s floor, and it’s the smell that hits me first. Antiseptic and sterile. The beeping of various machines are next, and I realize I really don’t like hospitals at all. We sign in at the nurses’ station and follow Bryson to her room.

I stop outside the door and shake out both of my hands, then rub at my eyes. I can do this. I can. Because it’s Mick. The girl I’ve known since I was two years old. And I can honestly say I know that if the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t even think twice about being here.

“I’ll wait out here. Let me know if you guys need anything.” Bryson grabs a magazine and goes to sit down as Tyler pushes open the door.

Mick is lying there on the bed, her face pale. Wires run everywhere, and she looks so fragile hidden beneath it all. There are a million bruises and cuts, her skin a patchwork quilt. Her arm is in an all-too-familiar-looking cast and her leg has one to match. Cuts zigzag across her forehead and down one cheek, and she looks as if she’s sleeping.

I set the flowers and stuffed bear on the rolling table next to her bed. When I turn back around, Mick’s eyes are open, and she’s watching me.

“Hey, you. How are you feeling?”

“Huh. Can’t say I was expecting to see the two of you here.
Together
.” She zones out on the flowers and the bear for a long time, then finally looks back at me. “What do you want, Sloane?”

“I’m sorry?” At first I don’t think I hear her correctly. But then she lets out this laugh that’s not at all a reaction to something funny.

“You heard me, what do you want? I didn’t ask you to fly home. Not that you would’ve responded if I had.”

“Mick, that accident almost killed you. Of course I came.”

Shaking her head, she looks away, disgusted. Like I truly have no right to be here. But then she focuses her gaze on Tyler. “And I know for a fact I didn’t ask for
you
to be here, so you can just leave.”

“Come on, Mick, don’t be that way.” Tyler takes a step toward her bed, but the icy look on her face makes him stop.

“I said get out. Or do you only understand things when someone breaks your nose?”

Tyler throws up his hands with a heavy sigh. “Whatever, McKinley. Sorry, Sloane. I’ll be right outside.” I watch as the door shuts behind him.

“Yeah, he says he’s sorry, but I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times by now.”