Authors: Elena Aitken
"Hey, Tay, you do know that if there was something you needed to talk to me about, you could, right?" Darci asked the question casually and popped a piece of tomato in her mouth.
"I know."
"Like, if anything's going on at school, you'd say something, wouldn't you?" She finished chewing and swallowed.
"Yup." Taylor got up from the table and poured herself another glass of milk.
"Okay. As long as you know that even if it was something hard to talk about, I'm here for you."
Taylor turned and narrowed her eyes at her mother. "Is there something you need to talk about?"
"No, why do you ask."
"You're acting weird, Mom."
Darci abandoned the rest of her dinner and pushed up from the table. She wrapped Taylor into a hug, and said, "I'm not trying to be weird. You just don't seem yourself lately, that's all. I want you know I'm here for you."
"I know you are, Mom." Taylor squirmed out of Darci's arms. "I'm fine. I promise. I'm just really tired. I don't think I'm getting enough sleep or something."
Darci took a step back and assessed her daughter. She liked to think that she knew Taylor well enough to know if there was something going on. They were a team. Taylor wouldn't keep it from her if there was a problem. "Okay," she said. "I believe you. Hopefully the vitamins will help with your energy."
"Can we watch the movie now?"
Darci laughed and sent Taylor into the living room to get things set up. She cleared the plates and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge before joining her.
Taylor had the movie ordered and was cuddled under an afghan waiting for Darci. They settled in to watch, each making comments on who they liked better, Edward or Jacob. Darci thought Jacob was cuter, but Taylor insisted that because he was a werewolf, he'd never be as cute as Edward.
Darci got more caught up in the movie then she thought she would, so she didn't notice that Taylor had stopped commenting on Edward and was quiet. When the credits rolled, she glanced over and saw Taylor, head resting on her hand, fast asleep.
She really must be worn out to fall asleep in the middle of Twilight, Darci thought. She roused her just enough to help her down the hall and into bed.
"Sorry, Mom," Taylor muttered. "I just can't keep my eyes open."
"It's fine. Just get some sleep, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning." Darci pulled the covers over her and kissed her forehead the way she used to when Taylor was little.
She moved to the door and turned out the light. She was about to close the door when Taylor said, "Oh, Jennica's mom wanted me to remind you about the fundraiser tomorrow. Are you helping?"
"Shit." The curse slipped out before she could stop it, but Taylor hadn't heard her, she was already asleep.
Darci closed the door softly behind her and went to the kitchen to make three dozen, not chocolate chip, cookies.
CHAPTER FIVE
There wasn't enough coffee in the world to get her through the morning. Darci poured herself her second cup and tried to keep her eyes open. She glanced over at the stack of food storage containers with three dozen monster cookies nestled inside. She was fairly certain that Susanna was going to have something to say about the fact that her chocolate M&M's were practically chocolate chips, but Darci didn't care. After a quick dash to the convenience store to pick up the candy, she'd been up until two in the morning baking them.
Darci put the cup to her lips and inhaled the strong scent of energy giving caffeine. She looked at the clock on the oven. 7:30. It took a moment for the time to register in her sleepy brain.
7:30?
Where was Taylor? She should be up and eating breakfast.
"Tay?" Darci attempted to call out. Not surprisingly, there was no answer. With a sigh, Darci left her coffee and made her way to Taylor's room. She knocked but without waiting for an answer, opened the door. Taylor was still wrapped up in her comforter, fast asleep.
Darci flicked on the overhead light and sat down hard on the bed. "We're going to be late," she said. She gave her daughter a gentle shake. "It's time to wake up."
Taylor groaned and rolled over. Her eyes flickered open. "I'm too tired, Mom. I can't play."
An internal alarm went off in Darci's head. Taylor never said she couldn't play. Ever. Even when she'd sprained her ankle, she'd tried to convince Darci that she was fine. Something was wrong.
"What do you mean you're too tired?" She brushed the hair off Taylor's forehead and felt for a temperature. "You got so much sleep last night, you didn't even watch the end of the movie." She didn't feel warm, but Taylor still wasn't moving to get up.
"I don't know. I just feel terrible. I can't go, Mom." Taylor rolled over and turned her back to Darci.
"Can you get up, kiddo?"
"Ugh."
Darci's mind spun. If Taylor was too sick to get up for a soccer game after almost twelve hours of sleep, something was not only wrong. But, really wrong.
Leaving Taylor to sleep, Darci went back to the kitchen. Now, wide awake with concern, she grabbed the phone to call the only person she could think of. Her mother. Even though she lived on the East coast, it was always good to know her mom was still only a phone call away. And it was a three hour time difference, she'd probably been up for hours already.
Listening to the unanswered ringing in the receiver, Darci's mind began to create possible scenarios. It couldn't be the flu or Taylor would be throwing up. She was so tired and lethargic, it was probably mono. Taylor was too young for the kissing part, thank goodness, but it could be passed from sharing water bottles at practice. But then wouldn't other players be sick too?
"Come on, Mom," Darci said into the still unanswered phone. "Pick up."
Finally, after another three rings, Darci hung up and made a mental note to teach her mother how to use her answering machine.
Without thinking about it, Darci quickly punched in the numbers for the next person she could think of.
Cam picked up on the first ring.
"Something's wrong," she said as soon as he answered.
"Darci? Is everything okay?"
"No." As soon as she said it, something inside her broke. She took a deep breath to keep her emotions at bay. "It's Taylor. She's so tired, I can't get her to wake up. It's not normal. Something's wrong, Cam."
"Can you get her into the car? I'll meet you at the hospital."
Darci nodded before realizing he couldn't see her. "Yes," she said. "I'll meet you there."
It wasn't until she'd managed to half help, half drag, Taylor into the car and was driving down the road that Darci realized Cam had a game to coach.
###
With a screech of the tires, Darci pulled up to the Emergency room doors. But she paused before jumping out of the car. She couldn't help but doubt herself. Was she panicking over nothing? Was she just being one of those mothers who freaked out over the littlest thing? It wasn't really an emergency that Taylor was tired, right? Maybe she should just go home and make Taylor a doctor's appointment. The thoughts swirled through her head.
"Mom," Taylor's voice, weak and quiet, came from the back seat. Darci swiveled around so she was facing her. "I don't feel good, Mommy."
That's all it took. Darci unclipped her belt and was out of the car at Taylor's door before she could say another word. "Come on, we're going to see a doctor."
Fortunately the Emergency Room wasn't busy and after a quick stop at triage, the nurses took Taylor to a bed in the back. They made Darci wait while they helped Taylor change into a gown and drew her blood and took a urine sample. It hadn't been long, but Darci already felt like she'd been waiting for hours. She paced the near empty waiting room, trying not to remember the last time she waited in that exact space, when Cam came running through the doors.
"Is she okay?" he asked. "I got here as soon as I could, I had to take care of something."
"You didn't have to come, Cam. She's fine." Darci slumped onto a bench. "Well, she's not fine. But I'm sure it's just mono or something simple. They're doing some tests right now. You don't have to be here, really. I probably shouldn't have called, I'm sure you have-" Darci put her hand to her mouth as she realized what it was that Cam did have to do. "Oh no, Cam. You have a game. Why aren't you there? The girls. Whose going to coach? You have to go."
He sat next to her on the vinyl seat and when he put his hand on her shoulder, the effect was immediate. The warmth of him radiated through her t-shirt and calmed her at once. "It's okay," he said. "Barb is going to cover for me with a few of the other parents. They all know the plays just as well as the girls. It'll be fine. I can stay for a bit. I'm glad you called. You shouldn't be alone when your child is in the hospital."
"Cam, I really don't-"
"Mrs. Johnson?"
"That's me." Darci jumped to her feet and turned to face the doctor who had appeared in the waiting room. "Is Taylor okay?"
"I'm Dr. Wilson." He held out his hand and the second she put her hand in his, she somehow felt a little better. He had a grandfatherly air about him and Darci trusted him immediately.
"How's Taylor?"
"Why don't we go see her?" Doctor Wilson waved behind him to the curtained gurneys. "Mr. Johnson? After you."
"Oh no-"
"I'm not-"
Darci and Cam spoke at the same time. The doctor looked between them. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "I just assumed..."
"No, it's fine," Cam said. "I'll wait out here."
"Thanks," Darci said, and turned to follow the doctor.
CHAPTER SIX
"What are you saying?" Darci asked for the second time. "I don't understand. I mean, she's healthy. She eats well, she's always active." She squeezed Taylor's hand before releasing it and standing up from her chair.
There was no where to pace. The curtained cubicle was barely big enough for the bed and the chair. Darci needed to move, to walk and process what the doctor was saying. She looked around frantically for a way to escape.
"Mrs. Johnson."
"Darci." She forced her focus back to the doctor.
"Okay, Darci," Doctor Wilson spoke slowly. He was patient and waited for her to sit again before he continued. "Like I said, this doesn't mean that she's not a healthy girl."
"But I never let her eat junk food. She never drinks pop. Well almost never," she said, thinking back to the pizza night. "But we don't even have it in our house and she only has candy at Halloween."
Darci looked at her daughter who was laying, silent in the bed. She looked more alert than she had earlier, but still drowsy and not like herself.
"Am I sick because I ate candy?" Taylor asked. "Because Abby had chocolate at practice yesterday but I only had half a bar, I swear."
"No, honey." Darci's stomach flipped and for a moment she thought she might throw up. "You're not sick because of chocolate."
"Not at all," Doctor Wilson said. "Diabetes isn't your fault."
Diabetes. The word echoed in Darci's head. She put her head in her hands and squeezed, trying to clear her thoughts.
When she looked up again she asked, "Are you sure?"
The doctor nodded. "I know this is a lot to take in. We're going to admit Taylor and start the insulin treatment right away." To Taylor he said, "You'll feel better soon. It doesn't take long for things to start improving."
"Admit her." Darci's words echoed. Her whole body shook and she had the desperate urge to cry. My baby, she thought as she looked at her daughter. She can't be sick. This can't be happening.
Darci blinked hard. She refused to let Taylor see her cry. More than ever, she would need her mom to be strong.
"Okay," Darci said to the doctor. "Make her feel better."
Doctor Wilson smiled and reached out to put his hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Mrs. Johnson. As soon as we get Taylor settled and feeling better, I'll come see you and we can talk about everything a bit more."
"Thank you." Darci nodded. Her body was numb and moved on autopilot.
"I'll see you soon, Taylor." He pulled the curtain back, but before he left he turned and said, "Mrs Johnson, this isn't your fault. You need to believe that."
She couldn't respond. There was nothing to say. Of course she caused this. She was the mother. The sole caretaker of her daughter. She'd tried to keep her safe. Had her immunized. Taught her not to talk to strangers and to look both ways before she crossed the road. She'd told her to wash her hands, and had always kept chemicals out of reach. She'd done everything she was supposed to do.
So why was her baby sick?
Darci forced a smile she didn't feel and the doctor was gone. She patted Taylor's hand and said, "Everything's going to be okay, kiddo. Don't worry."
"It's just like those people on TV, right?"
Darci frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Remember that show we watched with all those people who needed to lose weight and get healthy? A bunch of them had diabetes."
Darci's heart sunk.
Taylor continued, "And then after they lost weight it went away. So I just need to lose some weight."
Darci's eyes scanned her daughter's lean, fit body. "No," she said. "That's Type II diabetes. It's different."
"But they were sick too. And then they got better."
"It's not the same." Darci reached over her shoulder and rubbed at the tight muscle.
"But how-"
"It's just different, okay?" Darci snapped. "It just is." She shook her head and stood. "I'm going to find the nurse. If they're going to admit you, they should get to it. I don't know what the hold up is." She shuffled past the bed and pushed the curtain back.