“Better than seeing you eat the hell out of that poor fish?” Keenan asks, laughing at my near-empty plate. “What’s better than that?”
I can’t help but smile at Keenan’s rationale. He’s such a sweetheart. I don’t know if we will ever be more than what we are right now, but I must admit I like where this friendship is headed.
“You know what I mean, Keenan. I don’t want you wasting your paychecks on expensive dinners for me. I’m content with a five dollar sandwich and a movie.”
“Jayd, let’s agree to something right now, if you don’t mind,” Keenan says, reaching across the table and taking my right hand. “Never question your worth with me or any other man—ever. You are worth more than every entrée on that menu, more than this restaurant itself. You are worthy. So just enjoy the meal and stop questioning my intentions, please.”
Damn, I guess he set me straight. The truth is I didn’t think I was saying that I wasn’t worthy of the dinner, just that he needs to save his money for more important things.
“
Jayd, that’s your problem,
”
my mom says, adding her two cents.
“I hate to agree with the young playboy but he’s right. If you don’t think you’re worth his paycheck and then some you haven’t been paying attention to how a real woman operates.”
“Mom, I’m trying to eat my food.”
“Oh, you mean the food you don’t think you should be eating in the first place? Jayd, you’re never going to catch the guy you deserve by doubting who you truly are. My daughter should know at least that much. Girl, stop this foolishness and order the chocolate soufflé for dessert so it’ll be ready by the time you two finish eating. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”
As quickly as my mom entered the conversation she’s out, probably somewhere enjoying her own expensive night with her girls. Maybe she does have a point. My mom’s always been considered a high maintenance woman. She’s solid in her self-confidence, feels that she should receive whatever she asks for, and she’s willing to do things herself if need be. Her man seems to love her for being a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it.
“Jayd, was your food okay?” Keenan asks. This isn’t the first time I’ve had an episode around him but I know he’s probably starting to wonder what’s up with my space-out moments.
“Yeah, I’m just tired,” I say, only half telling the truth. I have to learn how to keep my mom from intruding into my thoughts at any given moment. There must be some sort of psychic doorbell I can install.
“It is getting late. Let me get you back to your car and follow you home,” Keenan says, wiping his mouth clean before paying the check. We both cleaned our plates.
“You don’t have to do that, Keenan,” I say, stretching out in my seat. These yoga pants were made for a feast like this one. “I can make it back to Inglewood from the coffee house by myself.”
Other patrons are enjoying nightcaps and dessert. Maybe next time we can do the same.
“What kind of man would I be if I didn’t see my date to the front door?” Keenan rises from the table, takes my hand and walks me toward the exit.
“A regular one?” I laugh at my joke but Keenan shakes his head and opens the car door.
“That’s because you’ve been dealing with these boys running around here ruining our sisters’ self-esteem. Some of us are gentlemen, Jayd. And I like to think of myself as one of them. My parents taught me well, don’t you think?” Keenan asks, closing my door.
I reach across the driver’s seat and unlock his door. “Yes, I’d say they did.”
“Trust takes time Jayd, and there’s no potion for that.”
-Mama
Drama High, volume 4: Frenemies
* * *
CHAPTER ELEVEN: HEAT
We’re inside my mom’s apartment for no more than a second before Keenan picks up where we left off the last time he was here. He turns me around to face him, pulling me into his body by my waist. The metal door locks pressing against my back are only a minor nuisance: Keenan’s lips are too soft to allow anything to interrupt our flow.
“Come here,” Keenan says, leading me to the couch.
I hope my mom doesn’t decide to make a mental drive-by. She wouldn’t be very happy with the current circumstances.
“It’s late,” I say. I know we should stop but I don’t want to and neither does he.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asks, kissing my bottom lip, nibbling on my left ear and then moving down to my neck. This brotha knows all of my weaknesses.
“No,” I mumble, barely able to answer.
I move Keenan’s shirt collar to the side and return the affection. He tastes like sweat and feels like pure muscle—just as I imagined. I unbutton his shirt and feel his smooth chest, noticing a tattoo of a woman’s name: I’ll ask him about that later. At the moment I like the way he’s talking to my neck.
“You smell delicious and taste even better,” Keenan says between nibbles.
“So do you.” My hands can’t stop touching his chiseled abs. Football has been good to this man.
Keenan pulls up for air. “You good, Jayd?”
“I’m great.” I could lie here forever. His hands and lips are making my head spin.
“Do you have any condoms?” he asks, bringing me back down to Earth.
“Uhmm, no. Why would I?” My mom probably does in her room but I’m not going there again. It was awkward enough the first time my mom gave me the sex talk, mostly because it was on my birthday and she gave me condoms as a gift. I gave those away months ago because I didn’t think I’d ever need them.
“You don’t use protection?”
“I will when the time comes,” I say, propping myself up on my elbows to look him in the eyes. “I’m a virgin, Keenan.”
“Oh.” Keenan says, staring back at me like I’m a stranger. “I just assumed you had some experience.”
“I’m not completely green,” I say, smiling at his concern. “Don’t worry, Keenan. I’m a big girl.”
Keenan pulls away from me and looks at the wall clock. It’s two in the morning and neither one of us looks the least bit tired.
“Are you okay with this, wherever it may lead?” Keenan asks, touching my shoulder with the tip of his finger.
“I’m okay with where it’s going at the moment,” I say, kissing his hand. “If I’m uncomfortable I’ll let you know.”
“Okay,” Keenan says, lowering himself back on top of me. He kisses my forehead, then my nose and continues moving south, sending me into a tailspin.
“Who’s that?” Keenan asks.
Someone’s knocking at my door. I know it’s not my mom and Shawntrese knows better than to come over this late unless it’s an emergency. It’s way after visiting hours and too early for work.
“I don’t know but I’ll get rid of whoever it is.” I pull down my shirt and straighten out my hair. Maybe it’s the neighbor downstairs telling us to quiet down.
“Who is it?” I ask, but I can see Jeremy’s golden curls through the peephole.
What the hell is he doing here? He must be high coming over this late. The days of him spending the night are behind us as far as Cameron’s concerned. Why did he have to come and bring that shit back into my thoughts when Keenan’s doing such a good job of keeping the drama at bay?
“Shit!” I say, pressing my hands against the front door praying this is all a dream.
Keenan’s in my spot with his eyes closed, resting for round two I suppose. Why is it that every time we try to be alone someone interrupts us?
“Jayd, I can hear you breathing through the door,” Jeremy says. “Please let me in. We need to talk.”
“Jeremy, this isn’t a good time,” I say, checking my clothes. “Why didn’t you call first?”
Keenan smiles on the couch, signaling me to come back. He’s fearless. I would love to not care about my ex standing outside, but Palos Verdes isn’t down the street. I can’t send him away without at least hearing him out.
“I’ll be right back.” I grab my jacket off the coat rack next to the front door and unlock the chain.
“Hey,” I say, stepping into the hallway. If Shawntrese is home I know she’s listening closely for later conversation.
“Jayd, I don’t know what to do about Cameron, especially since my parents are on her side.” Jeremy’s blue eyes are bloodshot like he hasn’t slept in days. He looks completely defeated and sober. I’ve never seen Jeremy look this torn before. “Can’t you help me out the way you did last time?”
Jeremy must be desperate if he’s asking me to help him with voodoo. We never talk about my lineage but he knows how I get down and chooses not to believe. Funny how desperate times can make you rethink your faith.
“Jeremy, this isn’t my battle to fight,” I say, pulling my jacket closed. “I’ve tried but it’s evident that whatever’s going on with you and your family’s addiction problems goes back through your bloodline for many generations,” I say, reading the sadness in his eyes. “It’s work you have to do with your ancestors. Mine can only help so much.”
Jeremy looks genuinely hurt by my words. I’ve yet to tell him that our great-grandparents were lovers who were tortured by their forbidden love. Our destinies are definitely linked but I don’t know to what end.
“I miss you, Lady J,” he says, placing his arms around my shoulders. Jeremy bends down, touches my forehead with his and breathes deeply. The last thing I need is more heat to deal with.
Keenan opens the door interrupting our moment. “Jayd, you good?”
Jeremy looks at Keenan standing in the doorway with his shirt opened and I know I’m busted.
“Jayd, who the hell is this?” Jeremy steps toward my mom’s door ready to sock the shit out of my date.
“Jeremy, I can explain,” I say, but really I can’t.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to him,” Keenan says, stepping outside. “You’re a single woman, right?”
Jeremy looks like he’s about to throw a punch he’s so pissed. I hope it doesn’t come to that because—as torn up about it as I’d be—I’d have to put my money on Keenan.
“
You see, Jayd. This is the type of grown man shit you’re not ready to deal with,
” my mom says, screaming into my head.
“They’re both territorial and dogs all at the same time.”
She’s right. I’m not ready to deal with this tonight no matter how good Keenan makes me feel. He’s already got me sprung and we just started talking. My heart still has Jeremy in it and until that tie is broken, I can’t move on.
“Both of you need to leave.” I push Keenan out of the way and step back inside of the apartment.
“Jayd, are you serious?” Keenan asks, confused.
“
Maybe his fine-ass has never been turned down before, cocky son of a…
” my mom begins but I don’t want her badmouthing Keenan, especially not while I’m staring at him.
“
Mom, please
!” I yell into my mind.
“You’re not helping
.
”
My mom sighs loudly and leaves me to my soap opera.
“Yes, Keenan. I need to get some sleep.” And that’s the truth.
In a few hours I have to be at church and then help Mama in the spirit room for the rest of the day. I’ll be glad when we can prove that Esmeralda’s responsible for Pam’s death. Maybe then I can have my Sundays back. I haven’t done this much churching since I was a baby.
“You heard the lady,” Jeremy says, his defined jawbones twitching. I haven’t seen him this upset since he found out about Rah kissing me almost a year ago. Funny how time flies when you’re dealing with drama.
“You too, Jeremy. Goodnight.”
I close the door and cry. Why can’t Jeremy and I go back to the days of playing chess and making out until dawn? What happened to us?
“
Nothing
,” my mom says. “
You’re growing up Jayd and tough decisions come with the territory. You’ll see
.”
Keenan’s probably wishing he’d saved his money. I’m not sure if college girls have the same emotional turmoil as I do but I know he’s never dealt with as many issues as I bring to the table. It’ll be nice to help Mama later on. The busy work will keep my mind preoccupied. Maybe I’ll even find a solution to all of my insanity while helping Mama solve problems for her clients. When it’s all said and done we have to keep on moving, even through the pain.
*
Church was full of excitement and testimony this morning, as usual. The church ladies were disgruntled to see my grandmother and her best friend in attendance for the third Sunday in a row, but too bad. Mama and Netta are important staples in the community and it would do those old ladies some good to recognize, much like Jeremy needs to recognize that he can’t have his cake and eat it too. Either he’s going to stand up for our love in front of Cameron and deal with the consequences or he’s going to cave under her ultimatum. Either way I know I’ll be fine—Keenan will make sure of that, if I let him.
With all that’s going on at home I can’t think about choosing between Keenan and Jeremy. Proving Esmeralda’s the wicked wench I know her to be to the police is all that I need to focus on. Daddy announced that the coroner’s office finally released Pam’s body. They can’t say for sure what kind of instrument was used to slice her up but one thing’s for certain: whatever it was caused her to bleed out slowly and painfully. The news didn’t bring much comfort to Mama, but at least we can plan a proper homegoing for Pam.
Netta and Mama came home and worked on the funeral plans as well as filling their clients’ orders. Halloween’s right around the corner and it’s one of Mama’s busiest times of year. I can’t blame her clients for desiring more protection around the unholy day. Esmeralda’s all the proof I need to believe that there’s pure, unadulterated evil in the world.