Jake nodded, slowly tracing a circle on her neck with his thumb. “We probably should’ve gotten it over with the first night we met. We’d be over it by now instead of having let it build up like this.”
He looked as if he were about to kiss her again, but Keila gently pushed him away before turning to leave. It was one of the most difficult things she’d done in a long time.
• • •
Jake watched as Keila, once again, walked away from him. The night they’d danced she’d left him frustrated; he’d wanted to enjoy their startling physical chemistry just a little bit longer, see where it led...
But tonight he was almost relieved. It wasn’t just about chemistry anymore. Keila wanted him, too, he knew, but getting the wanting over wouldn’t be enough because she was also getting to him in different, worrisome ways. He liked her, he enjoyed her, and she made him feel great. And she’d looked so beautiful, with the ivory in her dress accentuating her golden skin, the amber light in her earrings picking up the fire in her eyes.
Jake rubbed the back of his neck moodily. He’d actually told her she was the stuff of dreams. What the hell was that about? Where did that crap come from? What was wrong with him?
Had he run so hard and so far away from becoming his father that he’d slowly turned into his mother? Shaking his head, he was tempted to slap himself.
The one good thought he could come up with was that with everything going on in his life, it would be easy enough to stay away from Keila, and soon, he knew he’d wake up from whatever spell he was under.
November brought cloudy, melancholy days, a comfortable routine, and doubts about her future. Thoughts of auditioning for other orchestras in different cities crept into her mind as fear over the future of her career grew.
Thankfully, she was no longer anywhere near Jake Kelly’s sphere and what little gossip remained regarding the two of them eventually died. Pretty soon she was so overexposed to Jake’s image in newspapers, magazines, and on TV, that he seemed more like a distant public figure than someone with whom she’d shared a few confusing moments.
It had been over a month since their explosive kiss, a moment she had tried hard to lock in a box and push to a corner of her mind. The problem was there were many other moments she should lock up as well, but couldn’t manage to. Crazy as it seemed, she missed being near the real him. Thoughts of his unguarded smiles and intense moments where they’d shared
something
snuck up on her at odd times, leaving her perplexed.
She’d often force herself to think of Mark, instead. They’d gone out two more times. Both times, they’d met at a cozy café near the night club where he played. The snug interior had echoed the warm, relaxed way she felt around her ex-boyfriend. She could sink onto one of the huge brown corduroy armchairs across from him, and be at ease. Mark was easy to listen to; there were no confusing moments, no out-of-control tummy tumbles and belly flips. No tingles. No chills. No jealousy. Just comfy stuff.
Until he’d asked her how she felt on their second Saturday evening date.
“Keila, I’ve really missed this. I’ve missed
us
and it’s obvious you have, too. Do you think you’re ready to try again? To take our relationship to another level?”
Keila wanted to grab onto the comfortable part of their relationship and hold on tight. But Mark still wanted more. And she now understood why he placed great value on breathless mind-blowing kisses:
his
hopes for a peaceful lifetime would not be in jeopardy over a few of those.
But she now knew there was only one person who’d managed to awaken that in her, and not only did she not feel that kind of attraction for Mark, she didn’t even want to.
“Mark,” Keila exhaled heavily, not really knowing what she was going to say, but wanting to be honest. “Have you ever looked at someone and felt so attracted to them that your whole body reacted by its own volition?”
“Yes,” he laughed, looking into her eyes and touching her nose with his forefinger.
“Well,” she flinched at his smile and considered her words carefully, realizing she’d started on the wrong foot. “I’ve felt it, too, even though I really don’t want to feel it, for someone else,” she cringed at her admission, wondering if she was being
brutally
honest. “I’m just telling you because I finally understand that’s what you want from me, but it’s just not how I feel or
want
to feel about anyone. I see now we really aren’t looking for the same things in a relationship, even if we want similar things out of life.”
For a moment, Mark seemed angry, scraping his chair back abruptly and brooding out into the crowd. But after a long and uncomfortable silence he calmly said, “People always want what they can’t have and that guy you’re lusting after, he probably doesn’t want you, and it turns you on. You don’t feel it for me because you think I’d take you back, because I’ve been so good to you. Let’s see how you feel once I disappear for good.” He stood up then, and left. Keila got up and left, too, mortification stinging her eyes. Finally she realized that common interests just weren’t enough; she and Mark weren’t compatible at all. He was an ass.
So there she and Mark were, done for good. While she and Jake were, thankfully, strangers again. In a city like hers, it was possible she’d never see either again. Just one more thing to love about Chicago.
With fall peaking late, her hometown was now rife with russet, copper, and gold, and while the colors picked her up, the occasionally somber weather matched her mood.
It was now the last week of November and Keila found herself battling a constant nervous buzz of anticipation. Geraldine Bernard, a violinist with a permanent position, had just presented her two week resignation letter. Keila was on pins and needles, waiting for a call from the Symphony director, hoping she’d soon be offered the full-time position.
If not, it meant she had some major decisions to make. Decisions she didn’t want to make. Either she auditioned for another orchestra in another city or she applied for a music teacher position here. Both meant giving up a part of her dream.
She did her best to push these thoughts aside as she listened to Cate go over their plans for the next day on a brisk, Tuesday morning, the week of Thanksgiving.
“Robbie has a lesson till 7:00, and I have a staff meeting till 7:30, so we’ll just meet you guys at Navy Pier Park for the fireworks at 8:00,” Cate was saying over the phone. “Keila, are you there?”
“I’m listening,” Keila said as she hopped off a bus and dashed toward rehearsal. “We’ll meet you and Robbie at Navy Pier Park after the Christmas Tree lighting. Oh! And don’t eat before we get there. Mom and Tia Gina are packing loads of food.”
On Wednesday evening, Keila, Tania, Mia, Graciela, and their favorite aunt from their father’s side, Gina, headed out to the loop in Tania’s little white Mazda 3. Tania, Mia, and Graciela would be spending Thanksgiving out of town with Mia’s paternal grandparents, both families believing that it would be good for Mia to see them spending a holiday together. Today was Keila’s day to be with her family.
Christmas in Chicago came early, and it was every child’s fantasy. Magnificent Mile welcomed the season with over one million lights to brighten any spirit. They walked around with their mouths agape, ooohing and ahhing over every amazing display.
Everywhere they looked there was a spectacle of lights and a myriad of elaborate decorations. Window displays featured everything from realistic Santa workshops and sophisticated North Pole villages to talking snowmen and flying reindeer.
Once they were fully satisfied with the wonder of Magnificent Mile, they headed over to Daley Plaza to witness the tree lighting ceremony. The sixty-foot tree was strung with thousands of yet-unlit candy-colored lights and hundreds of ornaments in every Christmas hue and shape imaginable.
Chicago Children’s Choir filled hearts and air with their angelic voices. Keila watched her niece’s face fill with happiness when the tree lit up as Tania leaned over to say, “The look on her face is always my favorite part.”
The lavish display of holiday cheer would end in a spectacular fireworks show over the harbor and the five of them headed to the Navy Pier, brimming with holiday bliss, to meet Cate and Robbie.
After exchanging greetings, Cate announced, “Listen, Jake rented out a sixty-three foot schooner for his staff, so we could all watch the fireworks from the water. But when I told him I already had plans with all of you, he said you were all welcome on board.” Mia, Graciela, and Gina instantly agreed, Gina enthusiastic over the prospect of meeting a political figure, Mia and Graciela just wanting to see the fireworks directly over their heads. Picnic baskets in hand, they walked to the pier, as Tania and Keila strolled behind them, neither too sure of the change in plans.
Keila hadn’t seen Jake in little over a month and a half and though she’d long since convinced herself it was better if she never saw him again, her body betrayed her. The tingle came back and her heart began to flutter nervously. To say it would be strange to face him for the first time since participating in such a mind-blowing kiss was a major understatement.
“That crap doesn’t work on me, buster,” Tania said under her breath.
“Who are you talking to?” Keila asked when she turned and didn’t see anyone beside Tania.
“That guy, the one who gave you a ride that day, he’s giving me this lame ‘come hither’ look.”
Keila turned to look at Tyrone, who was waiting by a plank that led to a beautiful red and black three-masted schooner, and saw what Tania meant. Except it wasn’t a lame look at all, it was an “I’m hungry and I mean business” look and Keila thought she’d need to stick her head in the cold waters of Lake Michigan after witnessing it.
“Just ignore it.” Keila said, and laughed when she saw her sister’s scowl.
“Hey, Keila, great to see you again,” Tyrone greeted her, no longer looking at her sister. Keila directed the round of introductions before Cate, who loved Graciela’s cooking and had been eyeing the picnic baskets, whisked Mia, Graciela, and Gina away to a table.
Tyrone turned to Tania and said, “You must be the man hater.”
For the first time in a long time, Tania was left speechless. But she quickly recovered, sticking her hand out to shake Tyrone’s. “That’s me,” she smiled sweetly. And the moment their hands met, the heat again flashed into Tyrone’s eyes. “Now, when do I get to meet Jake Kelly, the
important
man here?” Tania turned to Keila.
“Tania!” Keila exclaimed. She turned to look at Tyrone, who was looking both challenged and amused.
“Are you looking to spew some venom Jake’s way, as well?” he asked.
“No, I only spew my special man-hating venom when I feel something needs to be nipped in the bud,” Tania replied, still smiling.
“Some buds are too sturdy to be nipped,” Tyrone raised an eyebrow suggestively, turned, and left Tania fuming.
“Why that cocky son of a — ” but Keila nudged Tania before she could finish her colorful thought.
They soon found themselves surrounded by a few people she’d met during her visits to Jake’s campaign headquarters and she felt both grateful and anxious that she hadn’t yet seen Jake.
• • •
Jake hung his arms over the railing and looked out toward the dark waters, thinking it might be possible to avoid Keila. When he’d surprised his staff with the schooner rental during a pre-Thanksgiving get-together and Cate had asked if she could bring Keila and her family along, there had been no time to think of a good reason why not.
It hadn’t been as easy as he’d thought to get her out of his mind the past six weeks, but he’d finally fallen into a busy rhythm of community meetings, neighborhood visits, round-table discussions, dinners, and parties, and whether in his thoughts or not, it had been easy to keep the reality of her far away.
“How do I look?” Tyrone’s voice came up beside him.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. How do I look?” Tyrone repeated, slightly exasperated.
“Uh — you look … okay?”
“Damn it. Why can women count on their girlfriends to tell them how they look while men put these barriers up where they can’t ask each other stuff like that?” Tyrone barked, his gestures and expression both showing an excess of male attitude in direct contrast to the words he was speaking.
“Because we’re
men
,” Jake answered, his own gesture and expression conveying “duh!”
Tyrone shrugged, disappointed and clearly offended.
“You look like a handsome devil,” Jake finally said, dryly. But after more careful consideration, he observed, “Maybe you should get rid of the tie and loosen a few buttons.”
Tyrone complied, and Jake watched him, amused, until Keila’s mass of golden brown waves caught his eye. He inhaled sharply. With her form-fitting, rust-colored sweater and her Spanish-flamenco-looking wrap, Keila would be hard to ignore. Clearing his throat, Jake turned to Tyrone. “Hey, how do I look?” he asked, in as casual a tone as he could muster.
Tyrone nodded his approval, “You’re looking good, really rocking that casual look,” he said, taking in Jake’s beige cords and long-sleeved blue Polo.
And next to Jake, a little voice giggled. Both Tyrone and Jake whirled around to see who was there. A young girl was pressing her lips together, her eyes wide, trying hard not to laugh.
“You’re Tania Diaz’s daughter, Mia, right?” Tyrone asked.
Mia bobbed her head, still holding in a fit of giggles.
“Okay, Mia, what’s it going to take for you to forget you heard our conversation?” Jake turned to her, smiling.
The girl let out her pent-up laughter. “Oh, the conversation I heard was between you two? I thought I was listening in on my girlfriends from school.”
“Ouch,” Jake held his chest, feigning pain.
“I see you take after your mother,” Tyrone remarked.
“Hey, I was just standing here on the poop, minding my own business. I can’t help it if I overheard you guys obsessing over your outfits.”