Stiltskin (Andrew Buckley) (34 page)

They reached the edge of the field and climbed over the short wall into the graveyard. Lily suddenly grabbed Robert and pulled him down behind a gravestone and put a finger to her lips.

“There’s someone here already,” she whispered.

“Is it the Dwarf?”

“It doesn’t sound like the Dwarf,” she whispered. Her eyes suddenly grew large in surprise. “What?” said Lily and stood up and strode off toward the voices.

Robert hurried to keep up.

What he saw, once they were close enough, was the same Dwarf that he’d found in his bathtub almost an eternity ago, covered in mud, holding a shovel, the Agent whom he knew as Jack, and a very full-looking garbage bag.

Lily marched right up to Jack, who was no longer leaning against the gravestone but standing at his full height.

“What do you think you’re doing, Jack?” asked Lily.

“Hello again, Darkly,” said the Dwarf with a sneer.

“Stiltskin,” said Robert.

“Find your daddy yet?”

“Actually no, been a little busy chasing you around.”

“I won’t ask again, Jack. What are you doing with the Dwarf?” asked Lily, stabbing a finger at his chest.

“It doesn’t concern you, Lily, go home,” said Jack matter-of-factly.

“Go home? Are you out of your mind? I’m not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what’s going on!”

“Go on, tell her, Jack, she’s going to figure it out anyway,” said the Dwarf.

“Shut up!” said Jack.

Robert eyed the garbage bag that was resting on the ground next to Jack.

“I wonder if that’s the body of the last Bastinda?” said the voice in Robert’s head.

“Excuse me,” said Robert, “but I don’t suppose that’s the remains of Elise Bastinda in that garbage bag, is it?”

“Good guess, Darkly. You might just be as smart as your father,” said the Dwarf.

“Aren’t you curious who your father is?” asked the voice.

“Well, of course I am,” replied Robert.

“Modest, too,” said the Dwarf.

“Will you two shut up?” snapped Jack.

“Enough!” said Lily, grabbing a handful of Jack’s shirt and lifting him clear off the ground. The tall man wriggled, but her grip was obviously too strong.

“Don’t make me do this, Lily,” growled Jack.

“Do what?” she asked.

“Lily, I wish you were unconscious,” said Jack.

“Granted,” said the Dwarf.

Jack landed on his feet as Lily’s body slid to the ground.

“Lily!” shouted Robert.

Jack rolled Lily’s body into the open grave of the last Bastinda and she slid unceremoniously into the open casket.

“No!” said Robert and punched Jack in the face. Every bone in his hand hurt. “Shit, that hurt.”

“This’ll hurt more,” said the Dwarf from behind him.

Robert’s first impulse was to ask
what will hurt more
but before he had a chance the back of his head was greeted by the flat side of the shovel and all he managed to get out was, “What wurrlll…?”

His body must have been getting used to being rendered unconscious. As he collapsed to the floor, he could still hear what was going on. For example, he knew that the tingly feeling on his side was his body sliding down into the grave. The thump he heard was his body rolling into the casket on top of Lily. He heard the Dwarf laugh. There was a creak, which he assumed was the casket lid closing. What followed were several deep thumps, which Robert knew to be the sound of Jack and the Dwarf burying them alive.

“Hold it together, Robert,” said the voice in his head. And the voice sounded calm.

That should mean I’m calm,
thought Robert, slowly regaining consciousness. And then madness and fear overtook him and he began to scream like a six-year-old girl.

obert had never suffered from claustrophobia; however, being buried alive really made him reprioritize his top five fears. He’d finally given up on screaming when he realized how pointless it was. He could hear thunder outside and assumed the storm must be raging in the skies. Lily was still unconscious. One had to assume that Elise Bastinda was a large lady, as Robert and Lily both fit into the casket and still had some room to spare. He wondered how long it would take to run out of oxygen. Everything was so dark.

“Of course it’s dark,” said the voice in Robert’s head, “you’re in a grave. Not exactly going to be flood-lit, is it?”

“Well, at least you’re still here.”

“You should try waking her up.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“You could throw water on her?” suggested the voice.

“Where am I going to get water? I’m in a coffin.”

“You could spit on her?”

“I’m not spitting on her. That’s just rude.”

“That’s a good point. Try pinching her?”

“Worth a try. Where do I pinch her?”

“Well, I’d suggest maybe her neck?”

“Her neck?”

“Well, you don’t want to pinch anywhere private. That’s just rude.”

“Right.” Robert fumbled around in the dark, struggled to bring his arms up closer to his head, and felt around what must have been the back of Lily’s head. He noted that her hair was very smooth, like a Labrador’s.

“Are you actually comparing her to a dog?” said the voice.

“Well, you have to admit it’s not a long stretch.”

He brushed her hair aside and felt down to her neck and pinched hard.

Several things happened. Lily swore colourfully as her hand came up extremely fast and smacked Robert in the nose, who also swore, only with less colour.

“What the hell are you doing?” said Lily.

“Shnorry,” said Robert, whose hand was cupped over his nose.

“Where are we?”

“We’ve been buried alive.”

“That bastard. Wait until I get hold of them. How’s your nose?”

“I don’t think it’s broken. Maybe I missed something up there but I thought that Jack was on our side?”

“It was Jack. That’s how the Dwarf escaped in the first place. Jack must have helped him.”

“But what does Jack have to gain from the doors being unregulated?”

“I don’t suppose we could talk about this once we’re out of the grave?”

“How are we going to get out of here? We’ve been buried alive. In fact, why aren’t you panicking?”

“Why aren’t you?”

“I did all my screaming already,” said Robert.

“The grave wasn’t too deep, it’s just a matter of leverage.”

“You’re strong enough to get us out of here?”

“I’m not. But what’s inside of me is.”

The statement floated through Robert’s brain looking for something to connect to. A few short yet disturbing flashbacks later, Robert hit a wall of realization.

“You’re going to turn into that thing, into a werewolf! Forget it; I’m beginning to like it down here.”

“Don’t be silly, Robert.”

“Silly? Who’s being silly? The smell of pine wood and rotting flesh is blissful to me.”

“You are being silly,” agreed the voice.

“I’m not being silly!”

“This won’t be like last time. When the moon forces me to change, I have no control, the creature bursts out of me as if it’s breaking out of a cage. When I change myself, it’s like I’m letting it out through the front door on a leash. I can control it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Robert, I’m over three hundred years old, I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

“Okay,” he said solemnly. And he realized that he did actually trust her with his life. Ironic, being that she had been trying so hard to kill him less than twenty-four hours ago. “How do we do this?”

“I need to be naked.”

“Come again?” said Robert.

“I’ll need the clothes afterwards and I don’t want them ripped when I change. Help me get undressed.”

“Uh-ah,” was all Robert could come up with for an argument.

Lily kicked off her shoes. The casket was around six and a half feet in length, around two and a half feet high, and three feet wide, which didn’t lend itself to too much wiggle room. Lily struggled with getting the sweater off over her head while Robert fumbled with the zipper on her pants. Robert pondered on what a highly erotic moment this could have been, had it not been for the whole
we’re buried alive
thing.

Robert pushed her pants down using his feet, then she kicked them off. He hadn’t realized that all she was wearing was a sweater, pants, shoes and nothing else.

Lily finally succeeded in getting her sweater off.

“What now?” said Robert, who sounded nervous and was probably sweating more than he should have been.

“Relax, Robert, I realize this is awkward…”

“Noo… well just a bit, yes.”

“But it’s going to get a little worse.”

“What?” said Robert.

“How could this be any more awkward?” said the voice.

“I need to climb on top of you,” said Lily.

“Oh, that’s how it’s going to be more awkward,” said the voice.

“Uh… wha… why?” said Robert.

“I don’t want to crush you when I change and I don’t want to bury you under the dirt. The only way to do that is to straddle you, change, and as I do so, I’ll push upward out of the coffin and break through the earth.”

“And there’s no other way? You see, I’m a man, I have urges…”

“We’re in a life-threatening situation. How can you be thinking of those urges at a time like this?” said Lily.

“Well, it’s been a while,” said Robert. He was thinking about how to protest but it was too late as Lily was already manoeuvring herself on top of him. He could feel her pressed up against him.

“Think of something else!” shouted the voice in his head.

So Robert did. He thought about tractors, and garden Gnomes, sheep, antique bathtubs, Lily in a bathtub…

“Not that!” said the voice.

“Okay, I’m ready,” said Lily. “Your heart is racing. Are you all right?”

“I’ll live.”

“This might be horrifying for you but I suppose you’ve already seen it once.”

Robert was about to apologize for his male urges when all of a sudden it was no longer an issue. He heard the cracking of bones first and in such a small space, it was truly ghastly to listen to. Her body expanded above him, and he felt hair grow from her face as her nose began to stretch and protrude into a wolf’s snout. He could sense her tense up as she pushed with both arms so as not to crush him. Her whole body radiated heat, and her muscles writhed against him as they stretched and transformed. He heard splintering as her nails grew, then broke through the bottom of the casket as the overall size of her body expanded and the lid cracked open. Mud and dirt began to pour in on all sides. She began to growl a low guttural growl and drooled on Robert’s face. For a moment, she didn’t move too much more and Robert began to fear that she’d overestimated her strength. The growling grew louder and she pushed herself upward. In retrospect, Robert considered that particular moment to be one of those moments that he never actually expected to find himself in. In fact, it probably made the top of the list. Buried alive, trapped in a casket with a beautiful naked woman, who then transformed into a werewolf while straddling him.