“No, it's not the fame.”
“Then what, Lil?”
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She couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him she was falling in love with him.
She couldn't admit that out loud to herself, much less think about admitting it to him. Instead she lifted her head and kissed his lips. Kissed him until he finally relented and kissed her back, letting her inside his mouth with her tongue.
She made love to his mouth with that kiss and tried to communicate to him exactly how she felt.
He slid on top of her body. She opened her legs for him, lifting and wrapping them around his hips. Their lips never parted, save for small inhalations of breath, and the kissing continued as his cock moved inside her in slow, gentle back-and-forth motions.
She couldn't imagine going through the rest of her life without him. She couldn't imagine going through the next few months without him—his cock, his kiss, his laugh, his smile, his voice whispering in her ear.
“Lord, woman, what you do to me.” He groaned into her mouth.
His eyes were open, staring down into hers, and she wanted to cry at the emotion, the heat, the unspoken words screaming at her from their deep blue depths. And still the kiss continued.
She tightened her thighs, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, then sifted her fingers through his short hair, holding him to her. How had she fallen so hard for him in so short a period of time? How had she let this happen? It screwed with her small, no-excitement, no-adventure existence. And yet she was still so unsure about how to go back to living that way.
His thrusts picked up speed, and urgency kicked in, but still his gaze remained on hers. She moved under him, arching her back, pressing her breasts into his chest, pushing her clit against his pelvic bone. They moved like that, him fucking her, her body riding the waves, until she broke and flew over the edge. She cried out into his mouth, and the light in his eyes when she came touched her as nothing else ever had. Her pleasure meant everything to him. He smiled and then screwed his lips into a grimace as he pushed against her one last time before his body 103
shuddered, and he came. His eyes darkened with his orgasm, the pupils dilated until all she saw was black lust.
He kissed her again, the connection between them scaring her right down to her very soul. Something had passed between them, something powerful that she'd never before experienced with any other man. She closed her eyes then, unable to continue looking at him, needing to break the bond for a few moments while she caught her breath and tried to piece parts of herself back together again.
He nipped at her chin, along her jaw to her ear. “Are you okay, baby?”
No, the hell she was not okay. “Yes,” she whispered, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
“Good.” He rolled to her side, and she let him gather her next to him with his arms wrapped tightly around her. “I like when you spend the night, and I like waking up next to you, your warm body and your wet pussy all within reach.”
She liked it too. Way too damn much. Sleep was going to be hard to freakin'
come by tonight.
* * *
“Who?”
“I don't know. The doorbell rang as I was coming upstairs. I didn't know if I should answer it or not.”
“Yeah, just make sure it isn't press of any kind. It shouldn't be, but…I'll be down in a minute.”
“Okay.”
If she didn't know better, she'd swear their relationship was a scene right out of Relationships, Inc., one of those stupid reality shows she couldn't stand. They were casual, acting as though they weren't merely lovers. They talked; they carried 104
on domestic situations with breakfast, reading the paper, making love until noon, talking politics. It was all rather surreal, and she seriously didn't know what to make of it.
She looked out the peephole, and a relaxed smile crossed her face. “Ronnie.
Hi,” she said after opening the door to him.
“Afternoon, Lily. I didn't expect to see you here.”
Her smile faltered a little at the look on his face, the tensing of his shoulders, the strain of his own smile. No, he hadn't expected her, and she was suddenly even more uncertain about things. Did he know something she didn't? “Come on in. Cam said he'd be down in a minute.”
“Thanks.”
She closed the door behind him. “Would you like some coffee? I just made a fresh pot.”
“Sure.”
He followed her as they went to the kitchen. She busied herself with coffee mugs and creamer. He simply watched her, watched every move she made. The easy manner from the night before and from all other meetings with him was gone.
In its place was tension.
She placed the mug in front of him at the end of the counter, then turned and stared out at the backyard. Well, it would have been a backyard. Instead, though, it was the tee box of the sixteenth hole on a golf course. She actually enjoyed the mornings she'd been at Cam's, watching group after group tee off. She'd sit out on the deck, or they'd sit out there and talk as though they were any other normal couple and not some unknown woman and a famous, hot, young race car driver.
She had a feeling her surreal reality was about to come to an end.
Ronnie cleared his throat behind her. “How is he today?”
She looked over her shoulder at him. “He's fine.”
“Any lingering effects from the crash?”
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“No, not that I can tell.”
“Has he talked about it at all?”
“He did some last night and a little this morning.” She moved to the sink and placed the midnight-snack dishes in the dishwasher. They'd gotten up around two in the morning for grilled cheese and milk. “What's wrong, Ronnie?”
“I was worried about him when he didn't show up in the shop this morning. He usually comes in to look at the car, see what news there is.”
“Oh.”
“Lily, look, I like you a lot. We all do. You've made that boy smile more than anyone or anything else in a long while.”
“But?” She knew there was a “but.” There had to be. The soft, placating tone of Ronnie's voice, the grim set of his mouth, the way he wouldn't really look at her when he talked—there had to be a “but” coming.
“He's distracted. He's never distracted. He wasn't focused last night like he should have been.”
“The wreck wasn't his fault.”
“No, it wasn't. It might have been avoided though, if he'd been paying more attention to what was going on on the track rather than asking me how you were doing and if you were enjoying yourself.”
Heat bloomed in her cheeks. She hadn't heard that on the radio. True, she'd been kind of out of it herself, lost in thought, but she felt sure she'd have remembered or tuned in had she heard her name. “I'm sorry, Ronnie. I didn't realize.”
“I know you didn't, and I can't put this solely on your shoulders. All this time he's been spending with you makes me think his head isn't in the right place. He's running for a championship, and he's not going to get it if he continues to be distracted.”
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“Are you asking me to stop seeing him?” She stopped all her fiddling and faced the weathered and seasoned crew chief. She knew Cam thought of him as a second father, and she would hate to be the cause of any strife between them. She didn't want to know the answer to the question she hadn't wanted to ask.
“No. I'm just saying that maybe it would be better for him—and for the team— if you and he didn't spend quite so much time together.”
“He's asked me to come to California with him.”
“I don't think that's a good idea right now, Lily.”
“What don't you think is a good idea?”
They both turned to see Cam walking into the kitchen, a grin on his face that was aimed right at her. It broke her heart. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt with bare feet, he looked more like a college student than the one of the top five stock car drivers in the nation. This was one of those times when she seemed to be reaching for stars.
“I was just telling Lily that I don't think it's a good idea for her to sit in the stands at the race next weekend. People have seen her with you, and I'm just not sure that sitting with the regular race crowd is safe for her.”
Lily was both grateful and not at Ronnie's blatant lie. She knew why he'd done it; she just wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. At the same time, how could either of them tell Cam the truth of what Ronnie had said? He wanted her to distance herself from Cam, and she knew Cam wouldn't take that well at all.
Cam smoothed her hair in a gentle caress and kissed her. “Why don't you want to sit on the pit box?”
She hoped her lie was just as convincing. “Alli couldn't find anyone to buy the tickets, and we don't want them to go to waste. Candi paid good money for them.”
“Really? I guess I can understand that. I'd rather have you on the pit box, though.”
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“I know. Me too.” Was her smile convincing? “Look, I'm sure you two have things to talk about, so I'm going to go out on the deck.”
Cam let her go, his face full of questions, but when she kissed his lips, his smile was back. The French doors were already open, so she closed them behind her after stepping outside. What would Ronnie say to Cam? Would he now tell her lover the truth of what was being discussed before he had walked in?
She took a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs and closed her eyes against the warm spring day and tried not to think about her heart unraveling.
“Thanks for understanding last night, man. She was pretty shook-up.”
“No problem. I know y'all are getting close.”
Cam grinned. Close didn't even begin to describe how he was feeling about Lily. Her feelings and thoughts had been plainly written in her eyes and in every touch of her hands and mouth on his body. She was falling for him just as he was for her. “I guess close is one way of putting it.”
“Cam, look… About Lily.”
“What about her? You know, I guess I need to mention that I've asked her to come to California with me. I've got that sponsor dinner while we're out there and I'd like to take her. Plus, I'd like to introduce her to my parents.”
“Do you think it's possible you're moving a little fast? I mean, she's great and all, but…”
Cam stared at Ronnie. Yeah, sure it was possible, but he'd known from the beginning he only had a little time to get her hooked on him. He could spend the entire summer really getting to know her, but right now in just these few weeks, he had to spend every waking second with her, getting under her skin, convincing her they could be a real couple. “I suppose so. I'm not going to change anything, though.
I want her, Ronnie.”
“I just think maybe you're losing some of your focus.”
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Cam put his coffee cup on the counter. It didn't make a sound when it connected with the granite surface. He slid his hands in his front pockets and simply looked at the caramel-colored liquid in the cup. It was a few minutes before he lifted his head. He respected Ronnie, loved him, trusted him with his very life each and every week. “Losing focus? Me? Are you serious? I've never been more focused, and if you're looking to lay this at Lily's feet and blame her, you need to stop and think about that.”
“All I'm sayin' is—”
“I know what you're saying. I know you're trying to look out for me, take care of me, do what's best for me and this team. I know that's your job. What happened on the track last night was not her fault.”
“Cam…”
“No. I won't hear it, Ronnie. Lily is off-limits. And you'd best not breathe a word of this to her. I won't let this ruin my relationship with you, nor with her.”
“Just be careful, Cam. I love ya like a son.”
Cam reached out and gripped the older man's shoulder in a gesture of friendship and understanding. “I know, but you've got to trust me on this. Lily is not a distraction. She's anything, everything but a distraction.”
“Okay.”
“Now, how's the car? Can we salvage any of it?”
* * *
The connection wasn't all that great—there was a lot of static on the line—but at least they could hear their friend's words clearly from the other side of the world.
“Where are you, Candi?”
“Rome. We'll be here for about two nights. It's the most amazing city.”
“What about the men?” Alli asked.
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“Oh man, the men! They are… Mmmm. And there's this one. He's supposed to be joining us for the last few days of the tour. He's from Greece, and he's gorgeous.
Not that I expect him to look twice at me, but… Hey, what about the two of you?
Been having a good time hanging out?”
“We ha—”
“Lily's got a boyfriend.”
If Lily could have seen Alli at that moment, she'd have smacked her. Three-way calling was the only thing that had saved her friend. “Alli…” Lily groaned.
“You do, Lil? Who?”
“You're never going to believe it, Candi. Never,” Alli gushed “Alli, don't. Please.” Lily buried her head in the pillow and waited for Alli to spill the beans.
“Yes, Alli, do. Please. Who is it?”
“Cam Carter.”
“You're shitting me? Oh. My. God. Lily is that true? You're dating Cam Carter?
My Cam Carter?”
Alli laughed on her end. “He's Lily's Cam now. He is so into her.”