“Second-chance goal?”
Laura put her fork and knife on her plate as the waiter came to clear it away. “On New Year’s Eve, the wine girls and I decided to make some resolutions. Mine was to get my groove back.”
“Who are the wine girls?”
Laura grinned. Zoey’s Rob had started calling them that and they’d embraced the name. “I do a Thursday night happy hour with five girlfriends. We meet at my place, consume a few bottles of wine, unwind, relax, gossip, bitch. You know, girl stuff.”
Bryan nodded. “I see. So you and the wine girls set goals for the year and that’s why you were clubbing at Blue Moon?”
“Yep. That was just a small part of my grand scheme to get my shit together. It seems I was interpreting forty-three as being the equivalent of sixty-three with one foot in the grave.”
Bryan lifted the wine bottle and topped up both of their glasses. “It makes sense, though lately I feel like I’m regressing. I used to feel so much older, but nowadays, it’s like I’m in my early thirties again. I give Trina credit for that. She’s been really sweet about visiting or inviting me along to watch the band perform. I’m surrounded by college kids these days. I’m learning new lingo and listening to popular music. And as much as it pains me to admit this, I never miss an episode of
Project Runway
. Trina and I watch it together. She and two of her band mates actually helped me dress for this date tonight.”
Laura laughed. “Really? Because they did a great job. You look totally hot.” He was wearing a white dress shirt with a royal blue silk tie that pulled out the blue in his eyes and accented his muscular shoulders.
“I’ll let Trina know you approved.”
“Actually, that regression you mentioned is what I’m aiming for.”
Bryan leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “So what else does this master plan of yours include along with the clubbing?”
Laura flipped her hair playfully. “New hairstyle.”
He winked. “I like the hair.”
“And more fashionable clothes.”
Bryan teasingly ogled her breasts, displayed by her low-cut top. “Definitely approve of the clothing.”
“Dirty bastard. Let’s see. In addition to the dancing and staying out late, I’m supposed to go to a concert, throw some theme dinner parties and smoke pot. Oh, and I already joined Facebook.”
“Not bad. It’s only mid-March and you’ve made some decent progress. By the way, I’m down on the getting-high-at-a-concert deal if you’re serious about that.” Bryan laughed.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“That’s quite a resolution.”
She shrugged. “I’m sure it probably all sounds silly.”
“Not at all. I understand wanting to find yourself, Laura.”
“You do?”
Bryan nodded. “After Corinne died, I went into autopilot. Spent two years going to work, taking care of Trina. I made breakfast, packed lunches, cooked dinners. I drove her to piano and voice lessons, helped her with her homework and figured out a way to explain sex and PMS to her without both of us dying of embarrassment.”
Laura grinned. “Oh to be a fly on that wall.”
“Then I woke up one day and thought, Christ, there’s gotta be more to life than this.”
Laura understood that feeling too well. “What did you do?”
“Little things. I don’t think anyone can change his or her life overnight, but I started taking more time for myself. Started reading, watched a ton of porn on the Internet, engaged in a tumultuous, but enlightening, affair with a woman from work, and I took a cooking class.”
Laura leaned back, impressed by his list. It reminded her of the one her friends had helped her generate on New Year’s Eve. “So our lists are similar.”
Bryan chuckled. “Really? You’re into porn?”
She laughed. “No. My computer time is typically limited to Facebook and Pinterest, though I’ll keep porn in mind in case I ever get bored with those time sucks.”
“I’ll hook you up with some good links.”
Laura rolled her eyes. “Thanks. Instead of a cooking class, I’m thinking about taking kickboxing with my friend, Shelly. Of course I suspect the only ass that will get kicked there will be mine.”
“I’d love to see that.”
“I’ve never been much of a reader, but Josie just gave me a pretty racy romance book last week. I keep meaning to start it.”
Bryan took a sip of wine. “You’re off to a really good start on reinventing Laura. You had me fooled.”
“Yeah, well. Thanks. I’m not sure I’ve accomplished much, but I am having fun.”
“Nothing wrong with enjoying life. If I’ve learned anything in my forty-three years, it’s that life is too damn short. Time seemed to last forever when I was a kid. Nowadays I blink and another year has passed.”
They fell silent for a few moments, then Laura asked the question she was dying to have answered. “I have to admit I’m compelled by your
tumultuous, but enlightening, affair
. What the hell does that mean?”
Bryan didn’t answer immediately.
Laura raised her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No. It’s a valid question, but I’m not sure how to respond. I’ve learned some things about myself since Corinne’s death, let parts of my personality that I’d suppressed emerge.”
“What do you mean?”
“Is sex on your list of things you want to explore?”
It was her turn to go quiet. Was it? Josie had insisted it should be on the list, but Laura hadn’t wanted the hassle, the complications that sex would add to her life. Truth was, she hadn’t missed it that much and eliminating it from her life after the divorce had been a blessing.
Until Bryan’s kisses, she hadn’t second-guessed that decision. Since then…she’d thought about sex way too much.
“And now I’m the one asking personal questions. Laura, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s not that I don’t want to answer. The truth is I don’t know if it should be on my list.”
Bryan nodded, but didn’t press her for more.
Regardless, she felt compelled to forge on. “I was with Mason for twenty-three years. By the end of my marriage, we’d fallen into ABC sex.”
He frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”
Laura grimaced. “Anniversary, Birthday, Christmas.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Well, even on those four big days it was nothing to write home about.”
Bryan leaned closer, grasping her hand. “Describe it.”
Laura tried to ignore how much his touch was affecting her. She’d been drawn to him since she’d seen him in the club. An undeniable sexual attraction was growing between them. But she felt the need to resist the pull for some reason. “You seriously want to hear what sex was like between me and my ex-husband?”
“Only if you’re comfortable talking about it.”
Laura took a long sip of wine. Why not? “We had a fairly standard routine that started with me giving him a blow job, then a bit of missionary. And we always wrapped up with the big ending of him taking me from behind, doggie-style, until he came.”
“That doesn’t sound terrible.”
“Probably not to you. You’re a guy.”
“Wait,” Bryan said. “Until
he
came? What about you?”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn’t.”
“And that was it?”
She nodded. “That was it.” She looked away, pretending to study the other patrons in the restaurant. Where had all that come from? She hadn’t just dumped all her luggage on Bryan’s lap, she’d slammed the suitcase against his head.
“I like to be in control in the bedroom.”
Bryan’s unexpected admission caught her attention. She looked at him, found his gaze hadn’t left her face. “What does that mean?”
“What would you say if I asked you to excuse yourself to the ladies’ room?”
“Why would I go there?”
“To remove your panties and bring them back to me.”
Laura grinned. “I’d say two things. One, I just got out of a relationship with a man who played lord of the castle and I’m not interested in getting back into that same set-up again. And two, I’m not wearing any panties.”
Bryan chuckled. “What do you mean by lord of the castle?”
She shrugged. “Mason had some rather archaic ideas about the man being in charge of the household. I was nineteen when we got married, too stupid and in love to question that concept. By forty, his controlling ways made me dream about castrating him while he slept.”
Bryan leaned back from the table and crossed his legs.
She laughed. “All I’m saying is I’ve been there, done that. Regardless of my desire to rediscover my lost youth, in that instance, I’m too old and set in my ways to play doormat for any man. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t reply immediately, but this time, Laura let the silence go.
“Fair enough. Could I entice you into fucking like teenagers in the backseat of my car, then?”
Laura covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hide her grin. She was extremely tempted by his offer, but while she might want to be young again, she didn’t exactly possess the same limber equipment she’d had twenty years ago. “I think I could be lured to participate in
some
of that.”
Bryan raised his hand to call the waiter over. “Check please.”
Laura laughed. “In a hurry?”
“Are you really not wearing any panties?”
Bryan’s gaze was one of unadulterated lust. Had anyone ever looked at her with such desire? She took the last sip of her wine, suddenly feeling thirsty and nervous and in need of fortification.
Bryan paid the tab, then stood and offered his hand. “Ready to go?”
She nodded and they left the restaurant hand in hand.
The ride back to her townhouse was made in silence as Laura filled every second with one panic attack after another. She hadn’t anticipated the evening going this way. Sure, Bryan had told her he wanted to fuck the hell out of her, but she’d dismissed those words, decided they were said in the heat of the moment.
Bryan had a wicked sense of humor. Laura had thought perhaps they were just indulging in some innocent flirting and dirty sexual innuendos.
Yeah, right.
Had she honestly thought they’d have a nice dinner, talk, maybe go dancing, and then she’d offer him a bit more of that red-hot kissing he’d introduced her to without sex entering the equation?
Regardless of their unquestionable, off-the-charts attraction, things were moving too fast. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around what was about to happen.
Bryan pulled into the parking lot adjacent to her building and turned off the car. “Laura—” he started. His tone said it all.
She’d given away her nervousness. He was going to back out and let her off the hook.
Was that what she wanted?
She looked at Bryan’s handsome, concerned face.
Fuck that.
She was sick of the wise, old, never-take-a-chance woman she’d become.
New year. New Laura.
She reached across the console, leaning forward, while reaching for his shirt. She grabbed a handful of the cotton and used it to pull him toward her. Bryan met her halfway, their lips connecting in a kiss that triggered an arousal she hadn’t experienced in years. There was something so completely magical about Bryan’s kisses. Over the years, Laura had forgotten the intensity, the excitement that could be wrapped up in that initial touch of lips.
Bryan cupped her face, holding her as if she were not only the most precious woman on earth, but the hottest one as well. His fingers drifted along her cheek before he ran them through her hair. His grip tightened as if he were afraid she would change her mind and escape.
She wasn’t going anywhere without him.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured against her lips.
Her hands rested on his shoulders, but she wanted more. Wanted to feel him—skin to skin. She ran her fingers over his jaw, loving the roughness that betrayed he hadn’t shaved since this morning.
Though it was winter outside, the temperature in the car had to be pushing a thousand degrees.
They remained there, locked together, neither willing to be the first to break the connection.
Finally, Laura pulled away, resting her forehead against his. “I haven’t had sex in a really long time,” she admitted.
“Neither have I.”
“I’m counting in years, Bryan.”
He grinned. “Oh. Then I revise my previous statement. I haven’t had sex in a while.”
She laughed, then decided she didn’t want to start something that she potentially couldn’t finish. “Should we also revisit that comment you made in the restaurant?”
He tilted his head, confused. “Care to narrow it down for me?”
“The control thing.”
Bryan leaned closer and placed a quick, hard kiss on her lips. “That’s not going to be a problem for us.”
She studied his face, trying to decide if his answer was enough. Hell, she didn’t have a clue what he meant.
Bryan didn’t give her a chance to ask for clarification. “Trust me, Laura.”