Starlight (26 page)

“I guess I should have warned you, Rand. The McAlister women are a fertile group. I no more than hung my pants over the bed with Madeline and we had two girls before I knew what had happened. And as I recall, Judy had no trouble getting caught with James and Carter, either.”

Karen stiffened, her smile frozen on taut lips.

“I could have done with a warning,” Rand replied stiffly, but if Matthew noticed anything was wrong, he didn’t show it, laughing off Rand’s remark.

Karen continued her daily visits to the hospital, but as the days passed, Matthew’s attitude became withdrawn. He was often melancholy, although he attempted a cheerful façade.

Several days later, Karen asked, “Where’s Catherine? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“She’s busy, lass,” he explained stiffly, “too busy for an old man.”

“I know you asked me to stay out of this,” Karen told Rand that night, “but I
know something is wrong. Dad’s miserable, and other than a few brief visits, I don’t think Catherine’s been to see him at all.”

Rand’s expression tightened. “Karen, your father is old enough to handle his own affairs. What’s between him and Catherine is none of our business.”

She gave him a determined glance. “I’m going to visit Catherine.”

“Karen,” Rand said with a note of warning.

“I’m only going to say hello,” she assured him, her eyes glinting with mischief.

Forced to wait for several minutes, Karen sat in the waiting room that had been a prison of anxiety the first days following Matthew’s surgery.

“Karen!” Catherine joined her; a smile of welcome didn’t reach her eyes. “Your father’s not worse, is he?” There was no disguising the note of anxiety in her voice.

“No, Dad’s doing fine. How have you been? We’ve missed you. We
all
have.” She hoped the inflection in her voice conveyed the message.

Catherine glanced nervously at her hands. “I’ve been busy.”

“That’s what Dad said.”

Catherine avoided eye contact, her face slightly drawn.

“All right,” Karen demanded, “what is it with you and Dad?”

“There’s nothing between your father and me,” Catherine responded tightly, and stood.

“Catherine!” Karen murmured in frustration.

With an exasperated sigh, she turned around. “You’re more stubborn than your father. I don’t know what’s wrong, but every time I’ve been to see him lately, I get the impression he’d rather I didn’t come anymore. I think it’s obvious that he’s recovering and doesn’t want me around. I’m nothing but a bossy old woman. I do wish him the best.”

Karen watched Catherine return to her ward. What was wrong with her father? Why would he behave in such a way?

“I don’t understand it, Rand,” she told him later that evening. “Why would Dad act like that toward Catherine?”

Rand arched an exaggerated brow. “Karen, I want your promise you won’t interfere in this. What goes on between Matthew and Catherine is none of your business.”

“But Rand—”

“No buts,” he insisted. “Your father’s behavior isn’t so difficult to understand. He’s going through a period of readjustment. He may love Catherine, but he wants to be sure he can offer her a healthy man. Let him work this out himself.”

As the days progressed, Matthew showed renewed strength; his discharge date
was set for the end of the week. When Rand and Karen visited the next night, they found Matthew out of bed, sitting in a chair waiting for them.

“Rand, Karen, I need to be talking to ye.”

His tone was so serious, Karen wondered if the doctors had found a complication to his heart condition.

“Sit down,” Matthew ordered.

Karen complied, her hand reaching for Rand’s. She’d never seen her father act so nervously.

“Lass, I’ve already spoken to Judy and received her blessing; now I’m seeking yours. If ye have no objection, I plan on asking Catherine Thomas to be my wife. I love her,” he told them simply, directly.

Karen could have cried with relief. “Dad, of course. I love her, too.”

“Congratulations, Matthew,” Rand added.

It wasn’t until they were alone that Rand chided Karen affectionately. “Now, didn’t I tell you things have a way of working out themselves without your meddling?”

Karen gave a happy laugh. “I knew you couldn’t resist that, but I didn’t know you were the kind of husband who would stoop to saying ‘I told you so.’ ”

Rand’s mouth twisted humorously. “Sure I am.”

Matthew and Catherine were married at the end of October and left almost immediately afterward for a two-week honeymoon in Scotland and England.

Rand and Karen drove to the airport with them, excitedly waving them off. Rand was unusually quiet as Karen drove home.

Later, as Karen sat on top of their bed, brushing her hair before changing into her pajamas, Rand asked, “Now that all the rush has passed, how do you feel?”

She paused, her hands resting lightly on her stomach. “Tired.” As the pregnancy had progressed, Karen had lost the ability to move gracefully. The baby’s first gentle movements now resembled the activity of a soccer team.

“I don’t want you driving the car any longer,” Rand declared casually.

Her look was puzzled. “Why ever not?”

He walked away from her, hanging his clothes in the closet, as if reluctant to let her know his reasons. “Because.”

A faint smile quivered at the corner of her mouth. “All right, if you insist.” Rand was worried about her, about the baby, but was unwilling to admit as much.

“I do.” His words were abrupt. “Either Carl will take you where you need to go, or if he can’t, perhaps your sister”—he hesitated—“and, Karen, please wear your safety belt.”

“I promise,” she said gently.

Another month passed, the longest month of her life. Rand didn’t mention the baby or her pregnancy. He touched her, held her in his arms, loved her with a tenderness that was beyond description, but he never spoke of the child. A hundred times, Karen wanted to cry out that her time was drawing near, that he’d have to hurry. She couldn’t bear it if the baby was born and Rand refused to have anything to do with their baby or couldn’t love him or her. Somehow Karen felt the infant would know, would sense Rand’s reluctance, and the thought of that rejection brought a harrowing ache within her heart.

With only a couple of months remaining, Karen didn’t think she could grow much larger. Even getting up from a sitting position proved to be a difficult task. Judy reminded her that large babies ran in the family and that James and Carter both weighed more than eight pounds at birth. But even she looked upon Karen with worried eyes.

Following her regular visit to the doctor in December, Karen sat in her living room with brooding thoughtfulness. As she stared into the distance, a lump began to form in her throat.

“Do you think Rand will be angry?” Judy sat opposite Karen; her eyes sparkled in excitement.

“Of course he’s going to be angry. I suppose I shouldn’t be so shocked, but how was I to know anything was unusual? I’ve never had a baby before.”

Judy chuckled softly. “To be truthful, I suspected something. I could understand it when you looked down and couldn’t see your shoes, but when you lost sight of the floor, I knew something was up.”

Karen’s voice wobbled uncontrollably. “How can you joke? Rand will be here in a few minutes. He didn’t want one baby. How am I supposed to tell him it’s a multiple birth?”

“You’ve really done it this time, little sister.” Judy chuckled. “If I wasn’t so delighted, I’d sympathize with you. But I think twins are wonderful.”

The beginnings of a small smile formed. “I think I could be happy about it, too, if only I could be sure of Rand’s reaction.”

After Judy left, Karen entered the bedroom that had been transformed into a nursery. Running the tips of her fingers over the pink-and-blue plaid wallpaper, she glanced around the room with mixed emotions. Rand had given her a free hand to do as
she wished, never asking what she had done, not listening when she told him. She had tried to discuss names for the baby with him. Rand had cut her off, telling her she could choose any name she wanted. Little by little, she could see a softening in him, but it was so infinitesimal. How would he react to the news she was having twins?

The doctor had been so reassuring, so kind. When he had first suggested the ultrasound, Karen had been surprised. The results confirmed his suspicions, and Karen didn’t know if she should laugh or burst into tears. She chose the latter. Of course, the doctor had no way of knowing Rand’s attitude regarding the pregnancy.

“Karen.” The front door opened, and Rand called for her, his voice eager.

“I’m in here.” She walked out to meet him.

“How did things go with the doctor today?”

She stiffened slightly. “Fine.”

Rand kissed her softly, his lips teasing hers, but his hold tightened as the possession of his mouth hardened.

“My childbirth classes begin next week. I can’t wait any longer if I’m going to take them at all.” Her eyes studied his face. “Will you come with me?”

His face darkened, and a scowl narrowed his eyes. “No, I’m not ready, Karen.”

A lump of painful hoarseness tightened her throat. “That’s okay. I understand.” She broke from his embrace and moved into the kitchen. “I … I better start dinner.”

Rand nodded, and Karen saw the flicker of sadness that passed over him.

Karen couldn’t sleep that night. There didn’t seem to be a comfortable position, and turning over was a difficult task. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling in the moonlight, wondering how she could even broach the subject of a multiple birth when Rand couldn’t accept or love even one child.

“Are you awake?” Rand whispered.

“I’m sorry. Am I keeping you up?”

“No.” He rolled over, cradling her head on his shoulder. “I can’t sleep, either.” His fingers gently caressed the length of her arm. “I love you, Karen.”

“I know,” she whispered, the lump in her throat constricting.

“Honey, I’m trying as hard as I can. I know you’re upset about me not attending those birth classes with you, but I can’t force this. It’s got to come naturally.”

Rand believed the reason she had been so quiet and withdrawn that night was because of his reluctance regarding the classes. She hadn’t the courage to tell him otherwise. Perhaps when he was more comfortable with her pregnancy, was closer to accepting the baby, then she’d tell him.

“Did you tell him?” Judy asked the next day.

Abjectly, Karen shook her head. “I couldn’t.”

“Honestly, Karen, when are you planning to tell the poor guy? On the delivery table?”

“If I have to. What do you suggest?” she questioned sharply. “He’s trying to come to terms with his feelings for one child. I can’t suddenly announce there’s more.”

“He’s been so good to you.”

“I know, Rand’s been wonderful. But it’s all me, not the baby.”

“I don’t understand.”

Karen inhaled deeply. “He follows me around like a lost puppy. The other night, I found him standing outside the shower listening in case I fell. He calls two and three times a day and canceled his speaking engagements close to my due date. He’s even hired Dorothy to do the housework for me. I’m barely allowed to lift a finger around my own home.”

Judy chuckled, dimples forming in her pink cheeks. “It’s a good thing. I don’t imagine you’re able to do much.”

She laughed. “It takes me an hour to get dressed. I’ve only got a few weeks left before the baby comes. And as far as I can see, Rand’s no closer to accepting this child than he was in the beginning.”

“Chin up, kid. Things will work out,” Judy spoke reassuringly.

The first glimmer of hope came a week after the break of the new year. Rand arrived home with a large box under his arm.

“Hi, honey. I’m home.”

“I’m in the kitchen,” she called, drying her hands on a terry-cloth towel. Her back had been aching most of the day. Finally, in an effort to take her mind from the dull pain, she’d baked Rand’s favorite cookies.

“What are you doing?”

“Dishes,” she replied weakly. The ache seemed to be moving slowly from her back to her stomach.

He paused behind her, slipping his arms around her swollen stomach, caressing her roundness. “Leave them for Dorothy. I’ve got something for you—a present.”

“For me?” She brightened, noticing the large box on the table for the first time.

“Go ahead; open it.”

Lifting the lid, Karen stifled a cry, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Oh, Rand,” she murmured tightly. “Oh, Rand.” Inside the box, wrapped in tissue, lay a giant teddy bear. He had said the present was for her, but he had gotten it for the baby.

His hug was warm and gentle. “Hey, why the tears? If I’d known you were going
to cry, I wouldn’t have gotten it.”

“I’m just so surprised,” she said, sniffling, before he brought his mouth down to hers.

Sitting through dinner was an uncomfortable task. The pain in her back and abdomen seemed to grow more intense as the night progressed.

“Karen, are you feeling okay?” Rand asked as they got ready for bed.

Rubbing her hands over her stomach, she hesitated. “I don’t know … I feel funny.”