Star Wars - 214 - Jedi Prince 05 - Queen of the Empire (7 page)

Inside the Moffship, the crew was busy navigating above the Dune Sea, where heat waves from the desert sand caused strong winds. The grand moffs gathered at the armored viewport-a large, round window in the floor-to look for the Great Pit of Carkoon. There was one Imperial who might have detected the Millennium Falcon-an intelligence specialist assigned to security duties at the stern of the Moffship. But he was too busy repairing damage caused by laserfire from the battle with Zorba and Tibor to notice the Alliance freighter.

Han, Luke, Ken, and Lando, accompanied by the Human Replica Droid of Leia, popped open the upper access hatch and crawled into the Moffship totally unnoticed.

"This is folly," See-Threepio said, waving his golden arms frantically and calling after the others in a loud whisper. "It’s suicide. You’ll never get out of the Moffship alive. And when the grand moffs find me and Artoo, they’ll deactivate us for sure and use us as spare parts for their assassin droids!"

"Cool your circuits, Threepio," Han said over his shoulder. "The grand moffs will never catch you two droids, because you and Artoo are going to stay behind in the Falcon and wait for us. I want Artoo to fix the hum in the Carbanti 29L electromagnetic package. And while he’s doing that, I want you to give a power boost to the hyperdrive multiplier so we’ll be ready to get out of here in a hurry when we return."

"Artoo and I will never see any of you again, I just know it," See-Threepio complained, continuing his nervous chatter. "Oh, dear. And if you must know, I strongly disagree with your decision to take the Human Replica Droid with you. What if Fugo did something wrong when he tried to fix her? What if one of you gets a laserblast to the heart like Fandar did? It’s unthinkable. Master Luke, won’t you listen to reason?"

"You’re overruled, Threepio," Luke responded. "We know what we’re doing. Now listen to Han. You have work to do."

The five of them continued on as the Human Replica Droid led them into a ventilation shaft.

"You’re sure you can find Leia?" Lando Calrissian whispered to the droid.

"Of course I’m sure," the Human Replica Droid replied. "It’s one of my primary functions."

"I just hope Threepio doesn’t turn out to be right this time," Han said. He then pulled himself up from the ventilation shaft two floors above the private chambers that were reserved for the grand moffs. "This could turn out to be like looking for a microchip lost in a field of zoochberries."

"Don’t worry, Han, this is going to be simple," the Human Replica Droid explained. "When Fandar and Fugo designed me, they installed a homing mechanism so that I can find Leia anywhere. Even now, I can detect the vibrations of her biorhythm. We’ll find her. Just keep your finger on the trigger of your blaster and follow me." The Moffship was now hovering directly above the Great Pit of Carkoon. Looking through the armored viewport, Grand Moff Muzzer pointed out to Grand Moff Thistleborn the gigantic mouth in the sand below them.

Ten stormtroopers surrounded Zorba in the viewing area, keeping the Hutt under guard. They were dressed in sandtrooper uniforms, ready in case Trioculus required them to set foot on Tatooine. Each stormtrooper wore an eighteen-piece antiblaster cocoon shell with a heat-reflective coating, a helmet with breathing filters, and a utility belt that had a food-and-water pack.

Thrusting out his chest confidently and ceremoniously, Trioculus led Princess Leia to see Zorba. Once again the Hutt was hoisted up by his wrists, this time dangling in the air directly above the viewport window.

"Curse your parents and grandparents for ten generations!" Zorba hissed. Trioculus ignored the Hutt. He pointed through the viewport in the floor. Zorba’s yellow, reptilian eyes glanced down to see where the Imperial ruler was directing his attention.

"That’s where you wanted to send Leia," Trioculus snapped. "But now it’s you who shall be executed instead. Go to your death, Zorba-and die like the slug you are!" Trioculus touched a red button on the wall. The viewport window in the floor began opening wide, like an immense porthole, as Trioculus did his best to imitate Zorba’s famous laugh.

"Ah-haha-haaaa!"

Trioculus suddenly released the chain that was holding Zorba over the hole, letting the old Hutt plunge to the scorching sands of Tatooine down below. "Who’s laughing now, Zorba?" Trioculus called after him.

Everyone on board the Moffship watched as the Hutt struck the ground just below the upper rim of the pit. Zorba rolled and tumbled downward, and the Mouth of Sarlacc opened wide to greet him.

The sound of the wind was too strong for anyone to hear well. However, standing near the viewport of the Moffship, Grand Moff Hissa thought he heard Zorba’s screaming moan just as the tentaclelike tongue of the Sarlacc wrapped around Zorba, yanking the Hutt into its immense mouth.

The mouth sucked Zorba down past its sharp teeth and belched. Then it closed, trapping Zorba inside its stomach. There, acids would digest the old Hutt for the next one thousand years.

All the while, Trioculus fixed his three eyes on Princess Leia, rather than on the Mouth of Sarlacc and Zorba. Trioculus saw Leia sigh with relief, perhaps even smile, as he had predicted. Or was it just a grimace? He couldn’t be certain.

Then Leia closed her eyes and glanced away.

"This day has brought me three victories, Princess," Trioculus declared. "First, I was freed from the carbonite. Then Zorba paid for the injustice he did to me-and to you. And lastly, I have taught you to be grateful to me."

"Grateful to you?" Leia exclaimed. "Guess again. I’ll be grateful to the Alliance when they assassinate you, Trioculus."

"I know you don’t mean that, Leia," he replied. "I destroyed Zorba and you smiled. I saw you."

"Did you now? I sincerely doubt it. I have nothing to smile about as long as I’m prisoner on this Moffship."

"The Dark Side is strong in you, Leia!" Trioculus continued. "It has control of you now; I’m certain of it. You shall marry me, and together we shall celebrate Zorba’s death!"

"Dream on, Trioculus," Princess Leia said with clenched teeth. "I’m a Jedi, protected from the evil power of the Dark Side and the likes of you."

"Your father was once a Jedi too-a Jedi Knight named Anakin Skywalker. But he turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader. Being a Jedi didn’t protect him from the powers of darkness."

"I’d rather die before I’d marry a lying, ruthless Imperial tyrant."

"Grand Moff Muzzer!" Trioculus shouted. "Assign four stormtroopers to take Princess Leia to the security observation bridge, where we shall perform the wedding ceremony! I’ll join you there in a moment."

Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Ken, Lando Calrissian, and the Human Replica Droid of Leia were watching and listening to every word Trioculus said. They were crouched down in a sheltered corner of the chamber, hiding behind the large, thick gray frame that housed one of the Moffship’s gyroscopic stabilizers.

As the four stormtroopers took Princess Leia down a corridor toward the security observation bridge, they brushed very close to where Luke and the others were hiding.

"Now," whispered Luke, signaling to his friends. With Luke in the lead, followed by Han, Ken, Lando, and then the Human Replica Droid, they took off down the corridor and silently overpowered the four stormtroopers.

"Han!" Princess Leia exclaimed, her eyes widening with excitement. And then she saw the others. "Luke! Lando, Ken! How did you ever find me? And what are you doing here?" she said to the Human Replica Droid.

"No time for a play-by-play description now, Princess," Han said, taking her in his arms.

"You’re safe, that’s all that matters."

"Let’s try on these stormtrooper uniforms for size," Luke said. There was no time to lose. The stormtrooper uniforms fit Luke and Han with room to spare. It was a snug fit for Lando, but even the one that belonged to the shortest stormtrooper was several sizes too large for Ken.

"Tuck those pant legs deep into the boots, kid, and puff out your chest like this," Han said, trying to help Ken fill out the oversized uniform. "That’ll have to do for now . . ." They then picked up the four unconscious stormtroopers one at a time and dropped them off in the nearest garbage chute.

"Proceed to the security observation bridge," Luke said to the Human Replica Droid. "You know what to do." The droid shook her head and wished them luck. She then took off down the corridor.

Han turned to Princess Leia and took her by the arm. "Princess, make like a prisoner. We’ve got a date aboard the Millennium Falcon, at the upper entry portal. Let’s get out of here!"

Their helmets securely in place, Luke took hold of Leia’s other arm. Together they marched in step, with Lando and Ken following along from behind.

"Do you think the Human Replica Droid will make it to Trioculus’s wedding ceremony?" Han asked. "The Imperials are going to wonder where her guards are."

"She’ll make it," Luke said, "even if she has to dispose of every last Imperial who stands in her way."

Trioculus entered the security observation bridge with Grand Moff Hissa floating in his hover-chair at his side. Glancing around, Trioculus noticed that the stormtroopers who were supposed to be guarding Leia weren’t there. But the Human Replica Droid, whom he mistook for Leia herself, was standing there awaiting him. She appeared to be in a cooperative mood, even though no guards were present.

"You look lovely, my dear," the Imperial tyrant said, thrusting out his chest in military fashion. "And the moment you’ve secretly dreamed of for so long has now arrived. Princess Leia, you’re about to become my bride!" Then he drew his right hand from behind his back, revealing a dozen black zinthorn flowers. "For you," he said. "A wedding bouquet." Without resisting, Leia accepted the horrible zinthorns. Then Grand Moff Hissa, who was to perform the wedding ceremony, steered his hover-chair behind the turbolaser access shaft, which stuck up from the floor and looked vaguely like a wedding altar. One by one the other grand moffs filed into the security observation bridge to witness the ceremony.

"I hope Trioculus isn’t making a mistake," Grand Moff Muzzer whispered to Grand Moff Thistleborn. "It’s a bit too soon to know for sure whether Leia has embraced the Dark Side."

"He knows exactly what he’s doing," Thistleborn replied with a nod. "Consider how loyal Darth Vader was to Emperor Palpatine and the Dark Side. We must never forget that the Princess is Vader’s daughter-his flesh and blood."

"Yes, but so is Luke Skywalker," Grand Moff Muzzer replied softly. "And a more nettlesome troublemaker than Skywalker we’ll never find."

Grand Moff Hissa opened the Dark Book of Imperial Justice and began reading aloud. "We are witnesses to a momentous event," he began, "the marriage of our Imperial ruler to Princess Leia Organa, who shall now of her own free will renounce the Rebel Alliance and offer her eternal allegiance to the Dark Side! Thus, Leia will prepare herself to follow in the path of her father, Darth Vader, and at last shall become our queen-the Queen of the Empire!

"But first, some fitting words for this occasion," Hissa continued. He cleared his throat and began reading: "By Imperial law, when the Emperor takes a wife, she becomes his property, obliged to obey his every word and bow down before him whenever he wishes a show of obedience."

The corners of Trioculus’s lips raised slightly in a smile, as he turned to look at Leia.

"What’s wrong, Leia?" he asked. "You look different. Is something the matter?" Instantly, the Human Replica Droid’s eyes glowed bright green, as piercing laser beams shot out of them, meeting at a fiery, sizzling point.

ZZZZZZZZCH!

The lasers burned a hole in Trioculus’s chest.

"Ahhhhhhh! Demon of darknesssss......." Trioculus cried. He curled up on the floor, as blood began to flow with every beat of his heart.

THUMP . . . THUMP . . . THUMP

The grand moffs and those who had gathered were aghast at their leader’s fate. Grand Moff Hissa, furiously gnashing his spiked teeth, dropped the Dark Book of Imperial Justice and raised his laser pistol. He fired at Leia again and again without stopping. The Human Replica Droid fell to the floor alongside Trioculus. Hissa gasped as he saw the artificial skin melting from Leia’s face, revealing her mechanized circuitry. The Leia whom Trioculus was about to marry was only a droid, he realized. The Rebel Alliance had deceived them once again.

Inside the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo and Princess Leia embraced.

"Chnoooch-tzeepch!" Artoo-Detoo beeped.

"Artoo is sorry to have to break up your party," See-Threepio translated, "but we’re still fastened to the top of the Moffship, and that’s hardly an appropriate place for a celebration."

"I have to agree with Threepio," Luke said, turning to Ken and Lando, with a wink. Taking their hint, Han turned his attention to the navigation panel and demonstrated his well-established skills and expertise in interstellar piloting. Within just a few short moments, the Falcon was flying away as fast as its sublight thrusters could carry it, soaring through the upper atmosphere of Tatooine and far from the Moffship. As soon as it reached the threshold of space, Han activated the hyperdrive unit, sending the Falcon on a hasty departure at faster-than-light speed.

"Maybe eloping wasn’t such a great idea," Han said, adjusting the dials on his navigation console. "Maybe having a more formal wedding would have been a better plan."

"I don’t mind the delay," Leia replied. "Now we’ll be able to invite Luke and Lando and Ken and Baji and Mon Mothma and Chewie-"

"Whoa there," Han interrupted. "How extravagant are these nuptials going to be, anyway? I thought we agreed-simple, quick, quiet . . . painless."

"My brother Luke should be there to give away the bride, don’t you agree?" Leia shot back.

"And Chewie should certainly be there as your best man, Han," Lando added.

"Except for the fact that he isn’t a man," Han argued, nitpicking over the subtle point.

"He’s a Wookiee."

"I never heard of any law that says a Wookiee can’t be the best man," Luke interjected.