Squishy Taylor and the Bonus Sisters (3 page)

Last night, we managed to convince Dad we only sneaked out as far as the kitchen for snacks. He was so happy I was getting along with Vee that he couldn’t pretend to be angry for long. The lie should work as long as Mr Hinkenbushel doesn’t tell. He probably won’t. He doesn’t like talking to grown-ups. He only likes shouting at kids.

I had the seriously
genius
idea for our punishment.

‘We’re looking forward to cleaning the car after school,’ I say brightly. It’s going to be hours where we can sneak in and out of John’s storeroom, bring him food and ask him questions.

Jessie makes
snake-eyes
at me.

I realise I shouldn’t look so happy. But it’s too late.

‘Maybe I can help you,’ Jessie says sweetly.

Vee and I glance hopelessly at each other and then realise Jessie is watching us and we’re giving ourselves away.

‘That sounds great,’ I say in a matching
fake-nice voice
.

Baby has started pulling Dad’s hair with tiny, white-knuckled fists.

Dad and Baby walk us to the tram stop. There’s a tall, scowly man in a neat blue coat standing there. He looks familiar but I can’t tell why. I realise I’m staring and look away.

‘Bye, Dad,’ I say, as the tram pulls up.

‘Bye, Tom,’ say my stepsisters.

‘Be good,’ Dad says.

‘And if you can’t be good, be careful!’ I call, from the tram step. It’s something Mum used to say and it always makes me laugh.

‘
What
is going
on
?’ Jessie asks, as soon as the tram doors close.

‘Nothing,’ Vee and I chorus.

‘
Don’t lie
,’ Jessie says.

‘It’s nothing,’ Vee insists.

‘We just got up together for leftovers last night,’ I say, sounding innocent and nice, but really I’m rubbing it in. There’s something fun about having Vee on my side for once.

‘What, and now you’re suddenly best buddies and you want to clean the car together? You might as well pretend you got a job as an
astronaut
. I’m so onto you.’ Jessie yanks her book out of her bag and sticks her nose in it.

I try to grin at Vee, but she looks worried. Jessie’s lower lip is
trembling
and I don’t think she’s really reading. She doesn’t turn a page the whole way to school.

I’m in the year below, so I don’t see my stepsisters all morning. At lunchtime, Vee pulls away from the older kids. She comes over to me and hisses, ‘We just have to let Jessie help with the car.’

‘Fine,’ I snap, ‘but you have to make sure your
spying
twin doesn’t discover our secret.’

‘Fine,’ Vee says.

My friends look at me admiringly for talking so sharp. Until Dad and Alice got together, Jessie and Vee were just big kids at school who I never would have talked to. Now Vee and I are sharing a secret.

I’m halfway down the corridor with the vacuum cleaner when I remember we need the extension cord. Vee runs back to get it and then
Jessie-the-spy
says we should get a bucket and a cloth.

‘Vee!’ I yell. ‘Get a bucket!’

Vee holds the door open with her foot and shouts back, ‘Did you get a bin bag already?’

‘No! Can you grab one?’

Next to us, the door opens. ‘Will you kids shut the heck up?’ Mr Hinkenbushel shouts.

He’s so close it gives me a fright and I drop the vacuum cleaner. He stands and glares at us as I grab the handle and we drag our cleaning things to the lift. The extension cord gets caught in the door and I can’t see properly because my curls are in my face. I look up and Mr Hinkenbushel smiles meanly.

The lift starts to go down and Jessie says, ‘I hate him.’

I nod. ‘Me too.’

We all stand there,
hating
Mr Hinkenbushel.

Once we start, cleaning the car is actually kind of fun and I forget Jessie is there to spy on us. Vee finds four dollars and promises to share. I find my old
ninja
sticker book from before Dad moved in with Alice. Jessie puts the little end on the vacuum cleaner and gets into all the corners. While she’s got her head down, I do a quick run to the storeroom with the sandwich for John.

Tappety-tap-tap-tap
.

As soon as he opens the door, I shove the sandwich into his hand. ‘Can’t stay,’ I say. ‘See you at midnight.’

When the lift door opens at our floor, it’s chaos. Mr Hinkenbushel is shouting at Alice and Alice is clutching Baby and shouting right back. Which is weird because Alice never shouts. Baby is screaming and Dad is trying to get everybody to calm down, hopping from one foot to the other like a
broken frog
.

‘It’s just plain rude!’ Mr Hinkenbushel yells. ‘What they need is boundaries, and you are clearly useless at providing –’

It turns out Mr Hinkenbushel likes yelling at everyone, including adults.

Alice is pale with
fury
. ‘How dare you judge my family –’

‘Now, Alice,’ says Dad. ‘Now, Mr Hinkenbushel …’
(hop, hop, hop)

They all stop like naughty children when they see us. Except Baby, who is still crying.

Alice coughs, trying not to look too crazy in front of us. Her voice turns cold and hard. ‘Thank you for letting us know, Mr Hinkenbushel. Tom and I will have a
respectful
conversation with the children.’ She turns on her heel and bounces Baby into the kitchen.

Vee leans into me as we drag the vacuum cleaner inside, whispering, ‘But we were being
good
. We were cleaning the car.’

‘That’s it,’ Alice announces, throwing herself down on the couch. ‘I’m not cooking! If everyone thinks I’m a bad mum, I’ll just be a bad mum!’

Dad gives her a
shoulder squeeze
and whispers something in her ear. She laughs, gets a big fat tear in each eye, and then gives her head a shake. ‘Someone call the Curry Vault,’ she says.

When it arrives, the roti is nothing like Mum’s, but I don’t complain. Dad
winks
at me over the dhal and I try to smile back. I even manage to shove some of the roti down my shirt for John Smith. Alice and Dad don’t talk to us about Mr Hinkenbushel, but they’re both very quiet. It’s weird. Even Baby just sits there, smearing raita on a patch of table. Usually at dinner, someone is talking – even if the twins are both mad at me.

Vee does her homework without being asked, for the first time
ever
. I go and lean over her shoulder. ‘I think only one of us should go down tonight. It’d suck to get caught.’

Vee bites her pen and nods.

I say, ‘I’ll go tonight because I found him. You can go tomorrow night.’

She turns around to argue with me, but I widen my eyes warningly. ‘We can’t argue now!’ I whisper. I know I’m being
dramatic
. But I’m kind of right, too. Alice and Dad are still all weird and tense and if we argue, they’ll want to know why.

I grab the iPad before Jessie can, to skype Mum from bed.

Mum’s working in her office and she looks busy, but she smiles at me anyway. ‘Hi, Squishy.’

‘Hi, Mum.’

‘How was your dinner?’

‘We had Curry Vault, with special
cardboard roti
.’

She laughs because ‘cardboard roti’ is her phrase.

‘It was because Mr Hinkenbushel yelled at Alice,’ I add.