Speed of My Heart (10 page)

I tuned out Cole's retelling of the story, and instead stared at the doll dangling from his hand. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Maybe I was going into shock, but all I could do was fixate on the blood-covered doll and shake like a leaf.

I heard Cole end the call and dazedly allowed him to lead me to his jeep. After settling me in, he climbed in on the other side and started the engine. As we drove down the long gravel path leading from the lake to the main road, Cole finally spoke. "Sam's taking care of it," he assured me. "If Marcus came this close to you tonight, he's broken the restraining order." Cole shook his head, saying to himself, "He really is a sick bastard."

I gulped and took a deep breath before turning to Cole. "Can I just stay with you tonight?" I asked. My voice came out just as shaky as the rest of me. "I think I'll feel safer. I don't want to sleep alone." Tonight or ever, I couldn't help thinking. The gruesome vision of the doll was burned in my mind.

*  *  *

The next morning I felt a whole lot better. The sun was shining and waking up with Cole's arm thrown across my stomach did wonders for helping my mood.

I had been such an emotional wreck by the time we got back to Cole's house the night before, that he had handed me one of his t-shirts to change into as soon as we walked in the door. Somehow, he knew I wasn't up for rehashing events or discussing anything; I simply wanted to lay my exhausted body next to his, close my eyes, and shut it all out.

I loved that Cole knew that about me without any prompting. He was just good like that; knew what I wanted without me having to say a thing. It was a completely new concept for me, but I had to admit; I liked it. I had once thought guys like him didn’t exist in real life.

I watched a lone ray of sunlight filter through the closed blinds, allowing me to study Cole's face while he slept. His dark hair was wavy and fell slightly over his forehead. My stomach flip-flopped at how perfectly handsome he was. I had to purposely distract myself from his lips. They were irresistible in a way that made me want to plant a kiss on them whenever I was close enough.

 Cole could have easily passed for a hot college professor or sexy kick-ass lawyer, but the tattoos, tendency to skip a day shaving, and competitive adventure-seeking vibe gave him a different kind of appeal. I liked that while he was driven, successful and a perfectionist, he was also down to earth and, to steal his word, real.

Maybe that's why he appreciated that I was "real" too, as he had put it. While I had never been to a race, I could imagine like most other sports, it had its share of groupie girls waiting on the sidelines, just vying for a chance to snag one of the pro drivers. I tried not to think about the fact that he'd be returning to that world in just a few short days. After all, I’d be entering a different world in the next month too. Who knew what the future held for either one of us?

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I barely noticed when Cole's fathomless gray eyes opened to find me propped up on my side staring at him.

So much for not being groupie-ish. Maybe he hadn't noticed.

"Hey, gorgeous." The guy had an incredible sexy bedroom voice all the time, but actually catch him in bed, and his voice was
unreal
sexy.

I grinned in response. "Hey." I wanted to call him out on his lie that I looked gorgeous, but took the compliment gracefully instead. I was pretty sure my mascara had to be all over my face, considering I had cried the night before and not bothered washing my face before bed. But I'd go along with it.

"Thank you for letting me stay last night," I said gratefully. "And for being a shoulder to cry on and all. I really appreciate it."

He smiled at me wryly. "It's hardly an imposition to let a beautiful girl, that I happen to be falling for, sleep in my bed while plastered against my body like her life depended on it."

I bit back a smile at the “girl I happen to be falling for” statement. Unfortunately, a blush warmed my cheeks, which I'm sure gave me away.

I couldn't help smiling over
this
, whatever it was, growing between us.

"Well, you are just full of compliments this morning," I teased.

 I flopped on my back, and thought about how Marcus' antics had ruined what had been promising to be an awesome night.

I sighed. "This was probably not the way you envisioned things turning out last night. It kind of sucks because we won't have many more chances to be together before you leave; and, well, things were just getting interesting before the whole doll thing..." I let my voice trail off suggestively.

Cole's eyes danced as he propped up on his elbow and looked down at me. "Now, here I am trying my damnedest to be honorable and not pressure you for anything else, and you just lead me right back in the other direction."

I reached over, trailing a finger down the length of his bare chest, my eyes following its progress. "Suppose I don't want you to be honorable. Suppose I'm tired of letting some nutcase ruin things for me. What if I want the same thing you do," I countered.

Cole studied me for a minute before finally murmuring, "I'd say, give the girl what she wants."

And damn, if he didn’t.

Cole and I literally spent almost every minute of the next three days together. We went out on my grandfather's boat one day, alternating between fishing and laying in the sun. We spent another day at the county fair: playing games and eating ridiculous amounts of fried, sugary foods. And we sat just about every evening outside in the swing on my grandparent's front porch with lemonade; talking about everything from embarrassing grade school stories to our equally nightmarish first kisses.

Honestly, I almost forgot completely that Cole wasn't just the guy next door; he was a public figure, and a very successful one at that. I got my wake up call on Cole's last day in Kentucky, when we were sitting in an ice cream shop in Jamestown. We had just settled into a booth, Cole with his fudge sundae and me, with my bowl of double mint chocolate chip. I first noticed three attractive girls in their upper teens standing at the counter sneaking glances in our direction. It started to get a little weird when one of the girls, a brunette with long hair and a too short sundress, was staring blatantly for several minutes.

"Uh, Cole?" I asked hesitantly. "Do you know those girls over there?"

Cole turned slightly to glance at them, before turning back to me and spooning another bite of ice cream. "Nope."

I looked back to see all three girls were still staring. I was beginning to wonder if I had a big sign over my head that said, 'look at the freak'.

To my confusion they started heading in our direction and were standing at the end of our table before I knew it. But, it was obvious now that they weren't looking at me, at all. They had eyes only for Cole.

"Omg," one of the girls, the blonde, gushed out. "You're Cole Davenport, aren't you?" The girl had a hand over her heart, as if she might die of a heart attack at any time.

I watched as Cole put his spoon down and smiled. "That‘s me."

The brunette squealed. Yes, actually squealed. "Oh my goodness, I am your
biggest
fan,” she emphasized. “You're my absolute favorite race car driver!"

Not to be outdone, the blonde pushed her way slightly in front of the brunette. The third girl, another blonde, hung toward the back without saying a word.

"Oh, poor thing," the first blonde crooned out. "I heard you hurt your arm and couldn't race for a while? Is it going to be okay?" Blonde girl had actually
sat down
in the booth next to Cole.

"Yeah, I broke it in a car accident. It'll be fine. I'm set to be back on the track in a few weeks."

I could tell the brunette still standing at the end of our table was totally put out that her blonde counterpart had scored a seat in the booth next to Cole. I don't think either of the girls even realized I was sitting there. Or maybe they just hoped if they pretended I wasn't there, I'd disappear.

"Well, Cole," chimed in the blonde, leaning on the table in an obvious attempt to display a generous amount of cleavage. "If you need anyone to show you around while you're in Jamestown, just let me know." She then reached in her purse and pulled out a card with her name and number scribbled in hot pink sharpie; and I swear, I saw a big heart drawn next to her name. Did the girl carry around cards with her number already written on it just to hand out to guys?
Gross.

Cole smiled easily at her, but didn't reach for the card. "That's a nice offer, but it's already been covered."

The girl gave me a nasty glare that disappeared as soon as she turned her eyes back on Cole. She smiled, overly-friendly, and placed the card on the table anyway. "Well, just in case you change your mind."

She winked at Cole and walked off, the other two trailing behind her.

Cole looked at me across the table sheepishly. "Haven't had to deal with that since I left Charlotte. Guess my luck has worn off."

I blinked at him, still trying to absorb the fact that I had gotten just a small dose of what Cole dealt with all the time.

"Imagine dealing with that every day ten-fold. Now you see why I needed a break?" Cole asked.

I gulped, realizing for the first time just how different our lives were. It was easy to forget Cole was really just on vacation; that this laid-back lifestyle he'd been living since arriving in Russell Springs wasn't really how his life was.

"I think I do," I responded in a faint voice. How had I forgotten who he was so easily? I had fooled myself into thinking we were a normal couple dating. That was not the case at all. Far from it.

"Mara, are you okay?," he probed, his dark eyes were penetrating.

I quickly put on my game face, determined not to let him know how seeing his fans had brought me down to earth from the cloud I'd been living on.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired. We've had a busy week. Plus, I've been keeping some pretty late hours lately," I insinuated, in an attempt to divert his attention from the fact I was secretly freaking out.

"Hmm, yes we have. And tonight's our last night. I have a feeling you'll get much more sleep once I leave."

"That's a definite." I heard the sadness in my voice and wondered if he did. When did I get so invested in
us
?

Cole reached across the table, interlocking his fingers through mine. "There'll be more nights and days together," he promised.

"I think I'm going to miss you," I admitted softly.

"I
know
I'm gonna miss you," Cole countered. "How about I promise to make sure we get together at least once a month when you're living in North Carolina? That's if you promise not to forget about me at the first sign of a frat boy?" he bargained half-playfully.

Even though it warmed me to my toes that Cole was willing to keep things going long distance, I pretended to consider for a minute before letting him off the hook.

"Deal," I finally said, and gasped when he used our bound hands to pull me toward him for a kiss. His lips were gentle and sweet and, most of all, reassuring.

*  *  *

The next morning Cole and I were standing on my grandparent's front porch: me still in my ruffly pj shorts and camisole, and Cole fully dressed and smelling completely edible in whatever cologne he was wearing. His jeep was parked in the driveway and I knew it was full of his luggage. Cole had stopped by on the way to the airport to say goodbye, and I was wondering if it would have been better for him just to leave and call me on the way.

As soon as he'd stepped out of his jeep, forbidden tears had been randomly escaping. I never had been good at goodbyes, and it looked like this was going to be no different. We had made some promises for the future, but who knew what it really held?

"You don't have to leave," I said wistfully. Then I quickly brushed away the tear I felt racing down my cheek, and smiled through the wetness in my eyes. "I'm just teasing you. I know you have to, and I'm totally good with it. I always cry when someone leaves," I rambled. "Every year my grandparents dropped me off at summer camp, I cried like a baby even though I knew they'd be back to get me in a few weeks."

Cole chuckled softly, and put his hands gently on both sides of my face. "Mara," he shushed me. "I'm glad you feel so strongly about me leaving. It gives me hope that we can make it work." He paused, studying me. "I care about you more than I ever have anyone else." His voice was laced with something like wonder, and it made me think he was just now realizing that.

I nodded, because I didn't trust myself to say anything. When I finally did, my voice sounded strained and coarse. Probably from the lump that was stuck in my throat. "That's good, because I feel the same." I took a second to swallow in an attempt to clear my voice. It didn't work. "This past month... it's been the best month of my life. I really didn't know it could be like this with someone."

Cole smiled at me reassuringly. "It's not over yet," he promised, leaning in to give me a goodbye kiss that could have cured a million evils.