Authors: Desiree Holt
At the moment she was getting ready to push herself out of his arms, he lifted her up and carried her out of the kitchen. “I may go to hell for this,” he muttered, “but I’m damn sure going to make the trip worth it.”
He carried her up the stairs to his big master bedroom, pausing only to rip back the covers from the huge king-sized bed. He stood her on her feet, cupped her cheeks again, and gave her a penetrating look. Maddie help her breath, waiting to see what he would say.
“Last chance to change your mind.” His voice held a deep, guttural tone to it.
She sure wasn’t going to let him back out of this. It had taken most of her courage to get this far. Now, she wanted the full ride. Hawkeye St. John was more man than she’d ever been with.
“I’m not changing my mind.” Her words were almost a whisper.
In the next moment, he took her mouth in another ravaging kiss, stealing her breath and sending every pulse point pounding with need. Without breaking the kiss, he slipped his hands around and beneath her shirt. Then she felt their heat as he cupped her breasts, squeezed them gently, and rubbed his thumbs back and forth over her now hardened nipples. When he pinched them, a moan drifted in the air and she was startled to realize it had come from her. He broke the kiss with obvious reluctance but then coasted his mouth along the line of her jaw and down her neck, setting off torrents of sensation wherever he touched her.
“Off,” he murmured against her skin, tugging up the bottom of the T-shirt.
She hadn’t even realized he’d unclasped her bra until he removed it along with her top. His hands were magic, clasping and squeezing. The pressure of his fingers and thumbs on her oh-so-sensitive nipples sent shards of pleasure through her. She closed her eyes against the incredible sensation then gasped as his wet, hot mouth closed around one aching, pebbled tip. When he moved to the other nipple, the cool air on her damp flesh made every nerve tingle. The walls of her sex spasmed, hungry for the feel of his cock inside her. She squeezed her legs together and clutched his rock-hard biceps to steady herself.
His skin was warm and taut over hard muscles and carried the slight outdoorsy scent of whatever soap he used. She wanted to touch and lick every single inch of his incredible body. He lifted his head at last, and Maddie opened her eyes to look at him, stunned by the intensity of the dark hunger she saw in his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat.
“You make me lose my mind,” he growled.
“Me, too,” she whispered.
He stepped back only long enough to rip his T-shirt over his head and toss it to the side. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close to his body, the curls of fine hair on his chest touching her sensitive nipples like little sparks of fire. Maddie ran her hands up and down his back, loving the feel of the steel muscles beneath the warm skin.
Hawkeye cupped her breasts again, licking first one then the other, before once more taking a step back.
“You have too many clothes on. I want to see every inch of you.”
She trembled as he undid the button and zipper on her shorts then pushed them down her legs. She kicked them aside, leaving her only in a lacy pink thong. He ran his gaze over her, taking in every inch of her one slow look at a time. With the tip of one finger, he traced the edge of the lace on the upper edge of the thong, back and forth, back and forth, teasing, teasing.
“Jesus.” He blew out a breath. “You should be classified as illegal.”
Warmth rushed through Maddie at his words. None of the men she’d been in relationships with had ever looked at her this way or made her feel as desired. She was willing to bet Hawkeye St. John could make her come with his words alone.
“You still have your sweat pants on,” she pointed out.
“Damn right. Once I take them off, it’s all over but the shouting, and I’m not nearly ready for that yet.”
The words had barely left his mouth before he nudged her backwards until she was on the bed, bracing herself with her hands. Hawkeye knelt between her thighs and placed a string of kisses up the inside of one leg and down the other. Even as sensations began to cascade through her, Maddie had one moment to be thankful she’d kept up with her wax appointments.
When he reached her sex, he lapped at her through the tiny scrap of fabric she knew was now soaked with her juices. Over and over again, he stroked her with the flat of his tongue. Maddie fell backwards, overcome with the erotic feelings consuming her. A small cry of protest escaped when she felt the absence of contact. But then Hawkeye was stripping the thong from her and lifting her legs to rest them on his shoulders.
He used his fingers to open the lips of her sex with a gentle pressure. She heard his groan of pleasure the moment before he applied his tongue again. He licked every inch of the wet pink flesh, the length of the slit and the creases where her body and her hips met. He swirled lightly around her clit then closed his lips around it and sucked. Hard.
Maddie nearly came off the bed at the jolts of pleasure stabbing through every part of her body. He continued to lick everywhere, pausing now and then to tug at her clit with his teeth, biting down just enough to cause the most pleasurable pain she’d ever felt. She gripped the bedclothes with her fists, anchoring herself as she tried to thrust her hips at him.
Inside
, she wanted to shout at him.
I want you inside me
.
As if he’d heard her, he slid two fingers into her waiting opening, scissoring them so they scraped against her inner walls. And still his mouth was busy on her clit and the surrounding flesh. He fucked her slowly with his fingers as he bit gently and tugged on her very sensitive nub. Maddie thrust herself at him again, as much as she could, silently urging him to go harder and deeper. She was close, so close, her entire body poised on the edge of climax. When he added a third finger, he bit harder on her clit, and she exploded, pushing down on his hand and screaming her pleasure.
He worked her with those clever fingers, drawing out her release then driving her up again and pushing her once more over the edge. With his mouth and his hand, he rode her through it, at last bringing her down gently until she was a panting, sweaty mess, limp on the bed.
He eased her legs from his shoulders, rose to his feet, and looked down at her with a mixture of hunger and satisfaction. With a deliberate motion, he lifted his hand to his mouth and slowly licked each of his fingers clean of her juices. Then he bent over her, bracing himself on his hands, and pressed his mouth to hers.
“Open,” he murmured. “Taste yourself on me.”
She did, moving her tongue over his mouth with slow, deliberate swipes. She tasted his earthy, male flavor and, mingled with it, the salty-sweet taste of her own liquid. She was shocked to realize how erotic the combination of flavors was, how her spent body began to respond again. She reached up to touch his face, loving the feel of the scruff on his chiseled jaw and the soft breeze of his breath on her skin.
He strung kisses across her cheek and down her neck before pushing himself upright again.
“Don’t move,” he ordered.
He headed toward the master bath, returning in seconds and dropping a handful of condoms on the nightstand.
“Aren’t you being a little overoptimistic?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“I like to be prepared.” The smile he gave her was lustful, the only word for it. “I hope you can teach without much sleep.”
She caught her breath at the implication. “I guess I’ll find out.”
He dropped his sweatpants, and, at the sight of him, her entire body tightened in expectation.
Holy mother!
He was ripped, no other way to describe him. Hair a shade darker than the deep brown on his head covered his chest in little swirls. He was definitely toned, with flat abs, a defined cut at the hip, and muscles that didn’t come from the local gym. A black tattoo in an intricate design curled around his left biceps.
But what really caught her attention was the very large, very swollen cock standing at attention, a bead of fluid sitting atop the dark head. Below it, the sac with his balls rested against his powerful thighs.
In a move so swift she barely registered it, he lifted her and moved her on the bed, placing her so her head was on the pillows. He knelt with his legs between hers, the predator hungry for his prey. Without evening thinking about it, Maddie reached out a hand and closed her fingers around his shaft. It was velvet over steel, the core of it so hard yet the skin covering it so soft. She stroked her fingers up and down, eyes glued to the dark-purple skin of the head and the drop of fluid staring at her.
“Come here.”
She tugged on his cock, pulling him towards her, and he inched forward. When he was close enough, she pushed herself up on one elbow and lowered her head, taking him full in her mouth. She swirled the tip of her tongue around the head, gathering the fluid and swallowing it.
“Fuck, Maddie!” Every muscle in Hawkeye’s body was taut with self-control, his hands fisted. “You have to stop.”
She stared at him, suddenly unsure. “Am I doing it wrong? Too hard? Not hard enough?”
It wasn’t something she’d done a lot, probably because with most of the men she’d been with it hadn’t been appealing to her that way. But Hawkeye St. John pushed every button in her body and brain, leaving her ready for any sensual journey he might take her on. “Fuck, no.” He spat the words out through gritted teeth. “You’re doing it too good. Maddie, I have a hair trigger on my control right now. If you don’t move, I’m going to come in your mouth instead of inside you.”
“Oh!” She slid back so his cock was free.
She noticed his hands shook as he opened a condom and rolled it on. The look in his eyes was feral, like a wolf hunting its mate. If she had any sense, she’d run like hell, but, strangely, she had no fear of him, only her own rising hunger.
He arranged her legs, bent at the knee, on either side of him. One lick of her sex, one light nip of her clit, and he positioned himself at her opening. She’d assumed he would drive into her with one swift movement, but he eased himself into her wet channel with a glide so slow it drove her crazy. The breadth of him stretched her, his shaft scraping her sensitive walls, but rather than being painful, it was one of the most erotic moments of her life.
She couldn’t look away from his eyes as he filled, her one inch at a time, until he was completely inside her. Oh god!
Oh god!
“You okay?” The words were choppy, as if he had trouble breathing.
Maddie couldn’t speak, only nod.
That was his release button. With slow strokes, he pulled nearly all the way out and drove back in, again and again and again. Every time he dragged over the sweet spot, her body responded as if he’d lit a match to her. Everything fell away—the room, the house, her god-awful predicament. All she could focus on was this incredible man and the pleasure he was giving her.
Her climax built slowly, spiraling up from deep inside her, swirling through her, building momentum as he increased his pace. He never took his eyes from her, watching her as if waiting for some silent signal. Her orgasm burst with the suddenness of a tornado, sweeping her up into the maelstrom of its force. She wound her legs around him, digging her heels into the small of his back to draw as close as possible and lock them together.
The explosion gripped them both, spinning them, shaking their bodies, his cock pulsing hard as he emptied himself into the latex sheath. It went on and on until Maddie thought there was nothing left, and yet the throbbing continued. At last he fell forward catching himself on his forearms so he didn’t crush her. Her heartbeat slowed, as did her breathing, but his eyes never left her face. She smoothed her hand over his back, now covered with a fine sheen of perspiration, and traced her fingers over the outline of the tattoo. A hawk. Of course.
She was stunned when he kissed her, a long drugging kiss as powerful as the climax he’d just given her. When he lifted his mouth at last, she felt as if she’d taken him into every molecule of her body. He had that look in his eyes again, the hunter, and she was the prey. But this time, there was an emotion mixed with it, something she could not name. She felt it, too, this nameless thing, and she didn’t think she knew any more about what to do with it than he did.
At last he eased himself from the clasp of her body, padded to the bathroom and disposed of the condom. Then he was back, moving her over so he could slide in next to her. His arms came around her as he pulled her to spoon against him. It gave her a feeling of security in the midst of turmoil, a feeling she wanted to grab hold of and keep tight.
“Hawkeye?” Her voice was still breathless as her body worked to catch up to itself.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “I know.”
“But you have no idea what I was going to say.”
“Yes. I do. We’ll deal with it in the morning. Right now, I want to sleep with you in my arms.”
Maddie had forgotten to bring her phone into Hawkeye’s bedroom and set the alarm. However, he knew what time she needed to get up and shook her gently a few minutes before six.
“Time to get up and go to work, Maddie.”
He was sitting beside her on the bed in nothing but his boxer briefs and a clean-shaven face. She had no idea what to expect from him. Regret? Irritation? Annoyance with himself for letting down his rigid guard? She pushed herself up in bed, pulling the sheet up to cover her nakedness, and studied his face. She hadn’t thought it was possible for someone to show no emotion at all, but Hawkeye St. John had it down to a science.
She felt a tightness in her chest, shafts of disappointment stabbing through her. Well, what had she expected? For the moment, he was her guardian, her protector. She’d read somewhere that men like this kept their emotions walled off. She could attest to that all right. Okay. She’d keep the memories of the hottest sex she’d ever had tucked away in a corner of her mind to bring out and look at on rainy days.
The problem was, she’d been so sure they’d made a connection beyond the physical. He for sure was a man of few words, and she had been afraid to blurt out her feelings.
My god, after knowing him for just two days?
And not under the best circumstances, either. Still, there had been that mystical something, that—
Forget it, Maddie. Read another romance novel if that’s what you want.
She wondered if he was going to leave the room so she could get her naked body out of bed. Instead, he leaned forward, pulled her close to his body, and kissed her with such intenseness, such fierceness, every drop of her blood heated and everything tingled—her nipples, her mouth, her sex. His tongue scoured her mouth, dancing with hers before he sucked it hard into his own mouth. She could barely breathe, but she didn’t care. She was lost in the erotic pleasure of the kiss, of his taste, of his nearness.
Then, with the same abruptness, he lifted his head and sat back.
“I could do that all day, but you have a classroom waiting for you. I’ll fix breakfast.”
He walked from the room with his measured stride, leaving her naked and speechless. She stared after him, slightly shell-shocked but still mesmerized by the flex of the muscles in his back and as much of his toned body as she could see.
Scrubbing herself in the shower, she could still feel the touch of his hands and his mouth on her body. He knew all too well how to coax every response from her. How to take her up that slippery, erotic slope so she could fly apart with the force of her orgasm. She didn’t know who was more shocked at what had happened, her or Hawkeye. That kiss this morning had shocked her even more. How was she supposed to act during the day now? Would he talk about it? Should she?
Ready to bang her head against the tiled walls of the shower, she finally shut off the water, stepped out, and discovered he’d not only left a towel on the vanity for her but also a steaming mug of coffee. God, the man was certainly a mixture of contradictions.
He was waiting for her in the kitchen, a mug of coffee in one hand, his cell phone in the other. She’d told him she seldom ate much for breakfast, but he’d set out a bagel and cream cheese on the counter.
“I learned a long time ago you have to feed the machine.” He dipped his head at the food. “Something to prime the machine.”
“Oh. Um, thank you.”
“Grey Holden called.” He held up the phone. “Their immediate crises are under control. That means he’s freed up some computer time. I asked them to do a history on you covering everything from the day you were born. I could only do so much myself with the links they gave me access to.”
“Okay.” She spread cream cheese on one half of the bagel. “Are you informing me or warning me?”
“Both, I guess. There has to be something, maybe that you don’t even know about, triggering this.”
Maddie bit off a piece of the bagel and chewed thoughtfully. “I know you must find this hard to believe, but I really have lived a plain, ordinary life. I never even got in trouble at school.” She gave him a weak grin. “Although, in college, Gretchen tried hard enough to coax me into it.”
“If she’s Ghost’s cousin, I’m sure she did. Go on.”
“I grew up in San Antonio, Texas, but you already know that, I’m sure. My dad works in accounting, and my mom has been with the library forever. There is nothing outstanding about that, right?”
“I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I hear back from Omega. Meanwhile, let’s get you to work.”
As he had the two previous mornings, Hawkeye checked the monitor for the outside cameras twice and then did a visual check before allowing her into the car and then backing down the driveway. Even then, she noticed before he started the car he took his gun out of his holster and placed it on the seat beside him.
“Just in case,” he’d told her when she’d asked about it. “If I need it, I don’t want to have to go digging for it. We could both be dead before I got it out.”
That was certainly a chilling thought.
He didn’t speak again until they were on the interstate heading crosstown. “I have a feeling this has something to do with your mother and father.”
“But why? I don’t understand. I told you how unremarkable they are. Wonderful parents but nothing notable about them.” She gave a weak grin. “Maybe a little overprotective, but not the kind of people who would be involved in something like this.”
“That photo of them was taken for some reason,” he pointed out. “Are they still in San Antonio? Maybe someone was looking for their address. Although they could probably get the same info by looking them up on the white pages online.”
Maddie shook her head. “They don’t have a listed phone. In fact, since cell phones became so reliable and sophisticated, they no longer have a landline.”
Hawkeye cut a quick glance at her. “But you have their phone number somewhere, right?”
“In my cell directory. And I always have my phone with me.”
“What about mail?” he persisted. “Envelopes with a return address or emails.”
Maddie got that tight feeling in her stomach again. “We, uh, never write anything hard copy to each other. It’s a rule in our family. Just like scrapping emails as soon as we read them is a rule.”
“And you don’t think that’s odd?” He grunted. “I’m in a secretive part of the military. Covert Ops. Yet my friends and I email back and forth all the time. We take our laptops with us even to the Forward Base Operating camps.”
“But your connections are secure, right?”
He nodded. “Because of who and what we are. Your parents aren’t in a classified environment, so what’s that all about?”
Maddie chewed her bottom lip. “My dad has this thing. He thinks the government is always spying on us. When all that stuff came out about the NSA, my mom was sure he’d make us stop using our computers.
“There’s something there, Maddie, and we have to dig it out. Maybe it has nothing to do with what’s happening to you, but my gut tells me differently. I always follow my gut.”
“If you think you’re scaring me telling me how deep you plan to dig into my past, you’re mistaken. My life—my family’s life—is an open book.”
“I hope you’re right. Of course, then we’d have to figure out where to look next.” They had left the interstate behind and traveled down the streets of a residential neighborhood. “Meanwhile, here we are. I’m coming in with you to do a look around. Then I’ll be across the street, waiting to hear back from Grey.”
He walked her to her classroom, as he’d done the two previous days, engaging her in a casual conversation that barely penetrated her consciousness. Her family? Her parents? What could they possibly have to do with this? The thought left her unsettled, and she needed to pull herself together. She couldn’t let her students see her rattled or they’d walk all over her.
“Okay.” He stopped at her desk. “Think you can break away for lunch today?”
Maddie was amazed at how casual he sounded.
“Uh, sure.” She gave him a tentative smile.
“Good. Let’s meet across the street so you don’t have to use up your lunch hour with drive time.”
He said it all so smoothly she was certain no one overhearing them would think it was anything but casual conversation.
“Okay. That sounds good.” She made herself focus. “I’ll see you a few minutes after noon.”
Then he was gone, leaving Maddie to pull in the frayed ends of her mind and focus on teaching her class.
*****
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Hawkeye was stunned. He had asked Grey to have Jacquie pull the Winslows’ Texas driver’s licenses so she’d have pictures of them. She could run facial recognition software in case there was something they were hiding. In case? There was no “in case” about it. His spidey sense itched, and Grey agreed with him. But what he’d learned moments ago wasn’t what he’d expected at all.
“Not even a little,” Grey told him. “When we couldn’t find anything older than thirty years, I smelled something off.”
“Maddie is probably going to pass out when I tell her.” He swallowed the last of his cold coffee. “This is going to take a lot more than me to handle. And I need a plan of action. If you’ve got the manpower, I can pay you—”
“Nothing,” Grey interrupted. “You’ll pay me nothing.”
“But—”
“When you finish your tour, I’m hoping you’ll join Omega. I wasn’t kidding about that. But even if it’s after yet another tour, I count you as part of the family. Your money’s no good.”
Hawkeye knew better than to argue with him.
“I’m not letting her go back to school this afternoon,” he told Grey. “We need a strategy session to keep her safe and put this to bed.”
“You calling the cops?”
“Not yet.” Hawkeye hadn’t been at all happy with the way they’d handled things so far. “They didn’t believe her any of the times she called, and I’m sure they wouldn’t believe her now. We’ll bring them in after the hard work is done.”
“I suggest you bring her here to our offices after you meet her at noon.”
“I hope she believes me.” Hawkeye wasn’t at all sure that would be the case. If he was in Maddie’s situation, he’d probably be in total denial.
“We need to strategize,” Grey pointed out. “And she needs to be part of this, whether you like it or not.”
“Crap.”
He ground his teeth in frustration. He found himself in a most unlikely position. He had a mantra—no close associations, no long term relationships, no romantic entanglements. Others had managed, but he hadn’t believed he could. He had one focus—being a Delta Force team member. Once that was over, he’d worry about the rest of his life.
But he’d taken one look at Maddie Winslow, and all his good resolutions went to hell, right out the window. Five seconds after he walked into Gretchen LeBeau’s house and saw her, he’d had the mother of all boners. He was more than glad he’d worn a jacket that covered it. As the hours passed with her, it didn’t get any better. Not even a workout in his home gym could get his craving for her out of his system.
Last night, he’d done what he’d told himself not to do—gotten involved with the woman under his protection. Never mix business with pleasure. As part of the teams, he’d engaged in hostage rescue, protection detail, various activities that involved close quarters with beautiful, sexy women. None of them had appealed to him except in the most superficial way.
Maddie Winslow was a different case altogether. She hit right in the gut. Last night had only confirmed what he’d feared—he wanted her with every breath, and not just in bed. Maybe he’d only known her for a couple of days, but the invisible connection between them was too strong to ignore. His problem was where to go with it once this was over. He had always been a loner. He’d seen team members die in the field and leave loved ones at home destroyed by it. He had always told himself he couldn’t do that, and nothing had happened to change his mind. If anything, the thought of Maddie wasting her life mourning him made him even more resolute.
So, what the fuck was he to do?
“Hawkeye?” Grey’s voice penetrated his fog. “You still with me?”
“I’m here. She gets her lunch break at noon. I’ll bring her over then.”
And hope she could understand and absorb what he had to tell her.
*****
“I don’t believe it.” Maddie leaned back in the chair in Grey Holden’s office, hands gripped together to keep them from shaking. “You’ve made some kind of mistake.”
“I wish that was the case,” Grey told her. “Believe me.”
She stared at the array of paperwork laid out before her and willed herself not to pass out. In her wildest imagination, nothing like this had ever occurred to her.
“Can you please go over it again?” she asked. “I want to be sure I understand.”
“Of course.”
Maddie leaned forward in her chair, suddenly conscious Hawkeye had reached for her hand and enfolded it in his big one.
I’m here for you. It will be okay.
She wanted to tell him she didn’t think anything would ever be okay again.
Grey cleared his throat.