Spark (32 page)

“The ambulance arrived within a short time, and then brought you here, where you’ve been under observation for the last few hours. From the information that Mr Stone has provided, it appears that he found you before you were raped, but the samples that have been taken will confirm if you were or not. Can you tell me, please, when was the last time you had sexual intercourse?” Williams asks.

“Last Sunday.” I remember fondly the last time Aidan and I were together. The memory fades as my body begins to tremble.
Who on earth could do this to me? What kind of desperate fuck does something like this?

“Who did this to me?” I ask Aidan softly.

His face drops. He looks to Williams, who gives him a nod.

“It was Dean,” Aidan admits. The muscles in his jaw clench, and he shuts his eyes for a moment. Feeling lightheaded, I put my hands either side of the bed to steady me. I’m gonna be sick. I swallow the rising bile from my stomach, and close my eyes. A mix of emotions competes against each other in my head—it’s like a fight to the death. This is too much; I can’t breathe. Someone, wake me up from this nightmare.
Please.

“Dean Hastings! Dean put me in the fucking hospital? This has to be a mistake. Are you sure?” Aidan nods, and throws his arms around my shoulders, kissing me on top of my head.

This is the ultimate betrayal of trust.

A friend. Or, so I’d thought.

I wish I didn’t know who it was. It would be easier to blame a faceless man.

I break free from Aidan’s hold. Now, I’m pissed. “Where is he? I’ll fucking kill him,” I shout, my voice startling everyone around me.

In perfect timing. Dr Taylor returns. “Excuse me, Constable Fraser. A moment please,” she interrupts. Fraser moves around the bed, and they meet behind the curtain.

“Miss Lawson, Mr Hastings is currently being questioned. You have a right to seek a court protection order if you are concerned about your safety,” Williams says informatively.

“She’s staying with me,” Aidan quickly answers.

“I don’t need one,” I say. If anything, he needs an order to keep me from him.

I sit in silence with Aidan and Williams for a few minutes, but I desperately wanna know what they fuck they’re talking about outside the curtain. Dr Taylor enters first, Fraser motioning for Williams to go outside the curtain.

“The tests were positive for Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate, or GHB, which is commonly used as a date-rape drug. You are very lucky, Miss Lawson, that the effect of the drug wasn’t more serious. It appears the dose was quite high, which is why you were unconscious for a significant period of time, and had difficulty breathing. I’ve provided a copy of the results to Constable Fraser. You shouldn’t have any long term effects from the drug, but you’ll feel out of sorts for several days.”

It’s not a nightmare anymore. It’s my new living hell.

****

They wanted me to stay twenty-four hours, but after begging and pleading and letting them check me over enough times, they agreed I’m okay to leave. I glare at the clock on the wall in the emergency department waiting room. It’s 6.40am. The waiting room is practically deserted. I spot Crystal asleep on Rob’s lap on a lounge in the corner.

Williams and Lawson walk over to us, drinking from paper cups. I must look ridiculous in Aidan’s clothes. Luckily, he had a spare T-shirt and pair of shorts in his car.

“Miss Lawson,” Williams says softly, pulling me aside. Fraser starts up a conversation with Aidan. Aidan doesn’t take his eyes off me. “We’ll notify the Canberra Rape Crisis Centre of the incident. Here is some information on counselling, and my card, if you want to talk. The case reference number is on the back.” Williams takes in a deep breath. “Now, your boyfriend is pretty shaken up. Counselling is available for him, too. That’s what Constable Fraser is talking to him about. You know, you’re very lucky they found you when they did,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I stare down at the paperwork in my hands. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to bring myself to read it.

“Um … thanks,” I say, not knowing what to say in a situation like this.

“Please ring me if you need anything, okay?” Williams insists.

“Okay.”

Aidan returns, hooking his arm tight around my waist. He gives me a forced smile as we walk over to Crystal and Rob, and kisses my forehead. Gratefully he doesn’t ask me if I’m okay. Probably because he already knows the answer.

Rob shuffles in his seat, waking Crystal. Seeing the alarm in her eyes immediately brings me to tears. She stands up, and almost trips as she throws her arms around me.

“This is my fault, Eevie. I never should’ve let you go outside by yourself. I’m so sorry.” Crystal squeezes me, and I wince as my body aches with the pressure.

“No, Crystal, don’t you dare blame yourself. What are you guys doing here, anyway?” I instantly feel guilty that they aren’t home in bed. Have they even been home?

“We had to make sure you were alright. You were unconscious for so long.” Crystal finally loosens her grip.

Aidan and Rob move away, far enough so that I can’t hear them.

“Sit down, Eevie,” Crystal says, putting her arm around me. “I know it’s late and you need rest, but I want you to know that Rob and I are here for you, whatever you need … anything.”

“Thanks.” I don’t know what she could do, but it’s comforting nonetheless.

“I guess you’ll stay at Aidan’s tonight.”

“Yeah, but I’ll be home sometime tomorrow, because I don’t have any clothes.” The clothes I
was
wearing are now evidence.
Evidence!
I fucking loved that shirt. But I know it is just a shirt. There are far bigger things to worry about … like whether I’ve been …

We sit in silence for a few minutes, and Crystal rubs my back. I’m too numb to cry. I want to go to bed, and forget tonight ever happened. This all feels so surreal. I’m in an alternate universe where bad things like this happen. Happen to me.

Rob and Aidan walk towards us, and I stand up. I just want to go.

“Fuck, Eevie. I’m so sorry,” Rob says as he takes me into a hesitant hug, as if I’m too delicate to hold. “We’re cuttin’ all ties with that arsehole. He’s never gonna get anywhere near you or Crystal, and if he does, I’ll fucking cut his nuts off, and make him choke on ’em.” Rob is seething.

I give him a twitch of a smile. I couldn’t summon a real one even if I wanted to. I move over to Aidan, and he wraps his arms around me.

“Can we leave, please? I need to go,” I mumble into his chest. I feel like I’m wearing a suit of swarming ants. I need a shower,
desperately
.

“Yeah, let’s go. Thanks for stayin’, guys, and thanks again, Crystal …” Aidan says.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Eevie. Ring me if you need anything, okay?” Crystal rubs my shoulder as we walk out of the emergency room.

****

Aidan wakes me. His car is parked in the garage. I must have dozed off on the way home.

I feel groggy, almost drunk. He opens the car door on my side, and leans in. His arms weave behind my neck, and under my knees. I loop my hands over his shoulders, and snuggle into the warmth of his body as he carries me inside. He gently lays me down on his bed, brushing the hair from my face as he lies beside me.

“I want a shower,” I murmur, barely able to open my eyes. “Can you come in with me?”

“You don’t wanna go straight to bed? Baby, you’re exhausted.”

“No … I have to shower, please,” I say. I need to wash away the dread of this evening. If I don’t, the ants under my skin might eat me alive.

“Come on then.” Aidan lifts me, and carries me bridal-style into his bathroom. He turns on the water, and carefully peels his clothes off me.

The hot water stings at first, but then soothes as it cascades over my head. Shivering, the heat slowly brings me back to some kind of normal. Aidan moves in behind me, and starts to wash my hair, removing a few bits of grass, which get caught up in the floor drain as they swirl at my feet.

He gently massages my aching head with shampoo, and even though it feels heavenly, it does little to soothe the pain. He washes it out, and puts in some sweet-smelling conditioner, combing it through with his fingers. I’m grateful for the help. I don’t have the energy to do it myself.

Aidan squirts body wash onto a loofah, and runs it over my shoulders and arms, bubbles running down my body.

I turn to face him. His eyes are filled with trepidation. I take his hand that holds the loofah, and move it gently across my chest and down my stomach, motioning for him to continue. He kneels down for more body wash, and stays there as he washes my feet, moving up my legs to my thighs. He stands, regarding me warily as he ever-so-softly brushes it over my pubic hair. Tears erupt without warning. Aidan’s arms surround me as my knees buckle. He pulls me to his chest, and holds me.

“I’m here, baby girl. I’m here. Let it out,” he whispers into my ear.

With his words, the torrent of tears renew, ripping me apart.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

As I open my eyes, I find Aidan wide awake, staring intently at me. He’s already dressed, and lying on top of the sheets. I roll onto my back and stretch out my arms and legs, yawning loudly.

“How you feelin’, baby?” Aidan says, running his fingers through my hair, as I give him a weak smile. I roll over to him and snuggle my head into his chest, needing to feel him close. I listen to the soothing beat of his heart as his chest rises and falls.
Here, I am safe
.

He lovingly brushes my hair back.

“I’m okay … I think,” I mutter into his freshly-laundered shirt.

Any other morning we wake up together, we’d be enjoying a shag in bed before facing the day. Not today. Not tomorrow, either. I don’t want to think about that now. My head still hurts.

“What time is it?” I ask. Sitting up, I stretch out my limbs. I must have slept so heavily, because I don’t remember tossing or turning, or for that matter, when my head hit the pillow.

“It’s nearly three o’clock. Do ya want somethin’ to eat?”

“Yes please. I’m starving.”

“I’ll go make us somethin’, huh?” Aidan leans over, kisses me briefly on the lips, and wanders out to the kitchen.

“Thanks. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Crap
. I don’t have any clothes here. I run my hands over Aidan’s T-shirt. I don’t even remember putting it on. Lifting it up, I see that underneath is a pair of boxer briefs. Pretty comfy, I might add.

The T-shirt must be a favourite, as it’s well worn, the neck frayed, and a few holes are dotted around the edges. It smells of my Aidan.
Yum
.

I move into the bathroom and go to the toilet, and then wash my hands and face. I get a fright at the state of my hair in my reflection, and try to get it to cooperate—going to bed with wet hair gives my hair’s natural curl too much free rein.

I find my handbag on the bathroom floor, and dig through it. I take out my phone.
Wow
. Thirty-six missed calls—seven from Crystal, twenty-nine from Aidan, and twelve voicemail messages. I throw my phone back in the bag. I couldn’t bear to hear the messages right now … as a matter of fact, ever.

Aidan’s jeans and shirt from last night are in a heap in the corner, splattered with blood. I didn’t even notice them last night.
Whose blood is it? Dean’s?

I must have done something, or said something to Dean. Why else would he have thought it was okay to do what he did? I know deep down I wouldn’t have, but the fact that I can’t remember means there’s every chance I did.
Arrrgghh!
I was hoping last night was a dream, but in the glaring light of day, it’s real. It’s
fucking
real. What does this mean for Aidan and I? Is it going to change us? Will it change what we have?

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the dark thoughts that threaten to swallow me up. I need to focus on something else.
Food.
The smell of bacon and eggs drifts from the kitchen.

“I think I’ll wear this today.” I smirk at Aidan, trying to lighten the mood as I sit on a timber stool at the kitchen bench.

“Good choice,” Aidan says smiling, and places a plate of poached eggs, bacon, tomato, toast, and a glass of orange juice in front of me. “You know, I love that shirt almost as much as you.”

“That much, huh? I’d better be gentle, then.”

We eat in silence at the bench for a few minutes, devouring a very late Sunday breakfast.

“That was delicious. Thanks,” I say, rubbing Aidan’s back. “Come on, before it gets too late we should go for this run. We’ll just have to go over to my place so I can grab some things.”

“What run?” he says, frowning.

“You know, the 12km run at Stromlo Forrest we planned to do today.”

“Oh. Right. Crystal packed you a few things from home, and dropped them around earlier, but … we’re not going.” Aidan seems uneasy, an uncharacteristic side of him I haven’t seen, but I know this situation has both put us on the back foot.

“Why not?” I frown.

He shakes his head at me, and turns his stool to face me. “Baby, you can’t brush off what happened and get straight back into things.” Aidan’s eyes penetrate me, beseeching me. He’s probably right, but I’m determined to not let this get me down.

“Why not?”
My stubbornness continues
.

“You need to process this,” Aidan begs.

“I can’t let this get to me, Aidan. I can’t, and I won’t.” I try to say it matter-of-factly, but my voice is breaking. “If I let half the shit that’s happened over the last couple of years affect me, well, I’d be a fucking basket-case. I’ve got to get on with it; I don’t have a choice.” That’s what I believe to be true—I don’t have a choice. I have to be strong, because people depend on me. Tears well in my eyes the more I think about it. Aidan stands and swings my stool to face him. He lifts me, and I weave my arms around his neck as he holds me. He tilts my chin with his finger.

“That’s one of the many things I love about you, Eevie. You’re resilient, no matter what. Whatever happened with your ex, and the stuff with your family, you always push through it, and are strong for everyone else, but please, baby … I’m here for you, so, let me be the one that’s strong … even if it’s just for today.”