Sound Advice (Sensations Collection #1) (8 page)

“What is this? What is this, baby girl?” I asked as Katie continued to cling and cry.

Sue Carpenter stood as still as a yard ornament, mouth open wide, gripping the bottom of her blouse. Jess, however, crossed the two lawns with three giant steps. Sue didn’t even blink at Jess as she pointed at Katie and me, mumbling over and over, “Did you hear that? Did you hear that?” Jess stood still behind Katie, staring at me. His eyes took on the glassy look of potential tears as he struggled to grasp what was happening around us. He went to reach for Katie, but I involuntarily put my palm up as a signal to wait and approach slowly. I returned the hug to Katie as much as I could, gently stroking her small back. She was so tiny and I felt overwhelmed with the power of her hugging me. I never realized how petite and light the little girl would feel, nor how strong-willed she might be to carry within her a dark secret.

I continued to brush Katie’s hair with my fingers, repeating
shush
and
it’s okay,
as Katie’s crying seemed to calm until I said, “I have to go.” Sobbing started again in earnest and Jess had to pry Katie off of me this time. My eyes searched his, desperate for guidance. The sobbing continued with the addition of tiny arms and legs flailing in all directions as Katie struggled in Jess’ hold.

“Just go,” he finally yelled over the commotion.

Hesitating for less than a minute, I ran toward my car and peeled out of the driveway, sending small pieces of gravel up into the air like a rain shower. In my rearview mirror, I watched Jess still struggling with Katie and Sue Carpenter running back to her own house. I didn’t realize until I was exiting town and almost to the highway that I never said goodbye to Nana.

I would learn all the details that followed my departure from Sue Carpenter. By the time I walked into my apartment back in Chicago after the six-hour drive, I collapsed onto the floor in the hallway with my cell phone and leaned against the wall as I dialed Nana’s number with shaky fingers. Sue answered on the first ring.

“Emily?” she breathed.

“Oh my God, Sue. Is everyone all right? What happened? Should I have stayed? Did I do the right thing by going? Did…”

“Whoa, slow down, girl. First things first, Elizabeth is fine. We had dinner and talked. She read while I knitted and now she’s in bed.”

“Oh Nana. Right. Thank you, Sue. Thank you so much,” I interrupted. “What happened after I left? I feel so awful, Sue. So terrible.”

“Katie basically freaked out, for lack of a better explanation, as you saw. I still can’t believe she spoke. She spoke for the first time in years. It’s a miracle.” Sue sounded ecstatic as her voice rose in praise.

“Wait. Sue. She was
hysterical
,” I emphasized.

“Oh, I know and so does your grandmother’s garden. Jess finally put her down when he thought it was safe and she wouldn’t chase after the car like a rabid dog. Her little arms and legs were flailing all over and I won’t be surprised if she bruised Jess good. When he first set her down, she went limp. Her legs didn’t want to hold her up, but she sprung up like a water fountain and took off for Elizabeth’s flowers. She started tearing every flower off the top of each plant, mumbling, “Flowers DON’T need love. Flowers DON’T need love.” I hope you don’t mind, Emily, but I let her go at it. Jess wanted to stop her, but I stopped him. She was having a good ole temper tantrum, and I’ll admit I think she needed it. After five minutes though Jess couldn’t take it anymore, and he yelled her name in a tone I’ve never heard him use. Of course, kids know that tone. It simply means enough.”

Sue paused, and I let the tears I’d been fighting run down my face in silence.

“My God, Sue, how is Jess?”

“He’s like a zombie, honey. He’s shell shocked if I ever saw it. I called his sister who is an EMT in town and she came right over. She at least made Jess sit down on the front porch swing of your grandmother’s house. Katie finally came to rest on the front steps and she’s hugging that banister like it’s a life preserver.”

“You say that like she’s still there.”

“Oh, she is.”

“What?! It’s been seven hours!”

“I think Jess was hoping Katie would just give up and fall asleep. Using all that energy can wipe you out as much as wind you up. But she hasn’t fallen asleep yet, stubborn thing. She’s droopy-eyed, but each time she nods off she wakes with a jolt, gasps for air, and grabs the pole like she’s drowning. I’ve been feeding Jess cups of coffee to stay awake as well.”

“So Jess is still there also. Can I talk to him?”

“Well, honey. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

I heard the front screen door squeak open and Sue shut it gently with a click, and I could only imagine her trying to gesture at Jess with the phone.

“Like I said, I don’t think…”

“Are you coming back?” An angry voice growled through the line.

“Jess, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t do anything to her. I swear, I…”

“Just answer the fucking question, Emily.”

“Yes.” There was a shuffle in the background before Sue’s quiet voice spoke into the phone again.

“Emily, honey, you still there?” She paused.

I could only grunt my response through the tears.

“I think everyone needs some rest. But I tell you what, Emily, you were part of a miracle today. A miracle. And I pray to the Lord that a little ray of sunshine is back in that child.” Sue continued her prayer through the phone, but I knew she was addressing Jess as well me with her celebration.

“It’s a six hour drive, and I plan to leave by eight a.m. I should be there around 3:00 your time. Okay?”

“Perfect, honey. You be careful.”

I didn’t have the strength to get off the floor, so I slid onto my side, curled up my knees toward my chest, and closed my eyes, lying on the cool wooden floor of my apartment hallway.

IT WAS ALMOST midnight when I finally left my apartment. I had slept so soundly on the floor that when I woke up I knew I could never go back to sleep in my bed. The need to return to Elk Rapids was a force pulling me as I filled two suitcases, packed my laptop and printer, and left a message for my editor on my way out of the city explaining in a brief summary what I suspected was the seriousness of Nana’s situation. I proposed my plan for remote work for the next month.

I worked for
Chicago Travels
, a Midwestern magazine that highlighted adventures in and around Chicago. My position included traveling throughout the Midwest states to different festivals, town events, and holiday celebrations, which the magazine highlighted as day trips or weekend get-a-ways. It was my first “real” job after graduating from college with a degree in writing. I wanted to write books, informational books, but I had to start somewhere, and
Chicago Travels
was a good professional opportunity.

My boss, Jack Dooley, was half as old as me. He worked hard, but appreciated his staff, so he played hard as well. He was one of those rare bosses who expected much of you, but realized you were human and he allowed family first. I wasn’t one of the married-with-children people in our office, so I hadn’t had too much experience with asking for time off for family reasons. When I explained my situation with Nana, though, I could only hope he would be understanding and agree for me to work from Nana’s home.

I called Rosie on the drive out of Chicago. Despite the late hour, Rosie had trouble sleeping this late in her fourth pregnancy and I talked for almost an hour straight, detailing the whole situation from the moment I met Jess Carter to the time I left him. Rosie listened attentively.

“The girl suffers from post-traumatic stress,” she finally said.

“Isn’t that something you get after surgery or something?” I sighed.

“It’s post traumatic. That means
after
a trauma. If that little girl was alone a few hours, knowing her mother left her, who knows what is in her head. Not to mention what her mother might have said.”

“Why do you say that?”

“As parents, we all say things we don’t mean –
go away, leave me alone a minute
. You don’t know what her mother said, if anything, before she left. And with no apology or explanation later, that little girl might think something adult-driven was her fault.”

“Rosie, how did you get so smart?’

“Practice.”

I giggled and Rosie spoke again.

“You like him?” At first it was a question, and then it was a tease. “You like him, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You like him. You like him,” Rosie sing-songed in a little-girl-sounding voice.

“He loathes me.”

“That never stopped you before.”

“Oh, Rosie, come on. He has a child. He probably misses his wife. I don’t know if he even knows where she is.”

“Complications.”

“Rosie, please,” I laughed.

“You need to get laid.”

“All right, that’s enough. This is serious.” Suddenly, I was getting angry.

“You’re right. It is. But unless you like him, this is not your concern. Get Nana and get out.” Rosie’s tone was serious this time.

I knew Rosie felt differently about Michigan then I did. Growing up, Rosie was a live-in-the-moment kind of girl. She liked it when she was there, and forgot about it when she wasn’t. After our mother’s death, Nana and Grandpa moved into our home down state to allow me to finish high school in a place I was already familiar. Rosie was practically out the door by then, heading to college the same year I entered high school. Although my grandparents took our mother’s space, they did not take her place. When Rosie left for college, though, she never came back. Not even for summers. The surprise of her abandoning us was upsetting to Nana.

I, on the other hand, was a girl who had to have a plan. I didn’t live in the moment, but always thought ahead. I had to know where I was going and what I was doing before I could make a move. I never lived in the
now
. When I went away to college, Grandpa had passed, and Nana moved back Up North to their original home. I felt I no longer had a place in Michigan. My original home had been sold. My college education was paid. I didn’t return.

“This isn’t some covert mission, Rosie. I’m serious. Nana can’t be moved that easily. Look, I know you can’t help me. I understand, but you have to help me decide what to do.”

“I don’t have any answers, Em. You laid all the options out and none sound good, but one has to work. The only option you didn’t mention, and I hope it’s because you haven’t even considered it, is staying there.”

“Never,” was my immediate response. It was almost an impulsive reflex, but then I thought about it for a moment longer and Jess immediately came to my mind.

“This is stupid,” I said more to myself, but it came out my mouth, and Rosie heard me. “Never mind.”

“Look, I’ll let you go,” I added. “Give my love to the girls and Mark, and keep me posted on the baby. Three weeks and counting, right?”

“Right. Em, are you really okay? You know I’d be there if I could, but with three weeks until baby-day, there’s no way. I can’t fly on an airplane, let alone risk having the baby up there.”

I wanted to retort,
It isn’t the Dark Ages
. There is a clinic with a medical center in Traverse City, but I bit my tongue.

“Love you, Rosie.”

“Love you, too, Em.”

Unfortunately, the silence on the line signified how alone I felt.

I PULLED INTO Nana’s driveway sometime in the early Michigan morning before dawn. I’d made the six-hour drive in a little over five hours, fueled by caffeine. Nana’s front porch looked like it had rained bodies. Sue Carpenter was seated in a rocking chair with a book, Jess Carter was lying on the porch swing, and Katie Carter was curled up on a porch step. As I walked towards the stairs, I was surprised the child hadn’t rolled off the sagging wooden step. She appeared perfectly balanced on the edge with a pile of limp flowers in front of her on the next step below. I noticed the green leaves and stalks of my grandmother’s garden, now bare of all colorful florals. I would have to trim some of the plants back to make it look less like a bad haircut.

I bent down in front of Katie.

“Hello, Katie,” I spoke softly, brushing away wisps of hair that had escaped her braids.

Katie’s eyes opened and closed, then opened and closed again.

“Are these flowers for me?”

Slowly, she nodded her head.

“Can I pick you up? I’ll carry you inside and put you in my room to sleep. You might be more comfortable there then on this old stair.”

Katie did not reply, but I scooped her up anyway. As I climbed up the stairs, Jess stood and approached us.

“I have her…if that’s okay with you?” I added quietly.

Jess nodded with consent, and Sue opened the screen door without a squeak for me. I took Katie to my own room where the girl sprawled out her arms and legs in comfort. I covered her with the pink flower quilt and brushed back additional loose hair. I smiled to myself and returned to the kitchen to say hello to Nana. It was early, but Nana was an early riser. She looked confused, but she was dressed and Sue was offering her a cup of tea.