Soul Bound (18 page)

“All right,” she reluctantly conceded. “Devil’s Lake Inn, it is.”

They had to share a room. There was no way Jace would leave her alone after what Cal and Marcus had told him, though he wasn’t exactly sure he was doing her a favor. He didn’t need anyone to tell him he was dangerous. He felt it. Something grew inside him. Something dark and violent and insistent. An invasive power that urged him to succumb to it, to embrace it.

If it weren’t for Lia, he would have done so, but her closeness reminded him what it meant to be human. He wasn’t ready to let go of that just yet. If he could just remember his past, maybe…

She walked out of the bathroom dressed in a terrycloth robe, her hair loose and lustrous, a bright silver halo crowning her head. Now that he knew what the glow was, that a part of it belonged to him, it called to him even more.

“The guy at the front desk told me it’s about a two-hour drive back to Portland,” she said. “We’ll have to get an early start tomorrow. My shift at the hospital starts at eight.”

“You’re not going back to that place. Not until I know you’re safe.”

Her shoulders stiffened. “I can’t just bail on them. I’m a doctor. I’ve got people counting on me. My patients—”

Jace rose from one of the two double beds and ate up the distance between them. “Argue all you want, but I won’t let you put yourself at risk. It’s dangerous there.”

“At the hospital?” She shook her head in confusion. “Because of Cal and Marcus? I doubt they’ll come after me again. They got what they wanted, a chance to speak to you.”

“I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about Diane.”

Her composure fissured. “Diane?”

“Yes, Diane. That icy Indian princess in the nurse’s uniform. She’s one of them.” A fist tightened in his chest. “One of me.”

Lia’s thoughts invaded his mind again, and he grinned. “Amazon chick. That’s what you call her?”

A pink flush tinged her cheeks. “Cassie’s nickname for her.” She began to pace the room, her hands clenched at her sides. “I knew there was something off about that woman. The second she joined our staff, everything at the hospital went haywire. I thought it was just a coincidence, but now—” Understanding made her eyes glimmer like blue Curacao on ice. “That’s why she lied about your stabbing, why no one remembered anything, why she kissed me.” She stopped wearing a hole in the rug and brought her fingers to her throat. Her gaze rose to his face. “Jace, I think she tried to kill me.”

The dam ruptured, and fury swamped him. “When?”

“The day after you were admitted. She accosted me in the staff lounge, then out of the blue, she laid one on me. I didn’t understand why she looked so surprised when I slapped her…” Her sentence trailed off as a soft smile fluttered over her mouth. “It didn’t work. I’m immune.”

“Immune to what?”

“The kiss. The kiss of death or whatever it is you guys do. Cal said I wasn’t as easy to strip bare, that I had some kind of protection. That’s what he meant.” She narrowed the space between them until barely a sigh of air separated them. “And I can prove it.” She raised her chin, inclined her head. “Kiss me.”

Those two words were more potent than her blond tumble of hair, her smoky eyes, the glistening fullness of her parted lips. It took every ounce of strength he had not to jump at her command and claim that soft, expectant mouth. He ached to taste her, to run his hand down her silken curves, to feel her very essence twine and fuse with his.

But common sense kicked in before he did something totally reckless and stupid. “That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had. Didn’t you hear what Cal said? A kiss is all it takes to steal a human’s light.”

She dismissed his objection with a wave of her hand. “He was talking in general. Before you came, he said I was different. Don’t you get it? I’m not your average human. I’ve got two souls inside me, one of which once belonged to a Hybrid, and that makes me a tough nut to crack.”

Jace took a step back, established a safe distance between them before he was tempted to help prove her theory. “The operative word being
nut.
”

“Gee, thanks.” She walked forward, trapping him between her body and the bed, the way he’d done to her a couple of days ago. “Aren’t you even a little bit curious? Don’t you want to know what it’s like?”

She had no frigging idea. Everything he was screamed to savor and possess her.

“If we’re so connected that we can read each other’s thoughts, what would happen if we were together? I mean really together.”

What was going on with her? This wasn’t the same reserved woman he’d met in that hospital room. Boldness rushed through her veins, peppered with excitement. This sounded nothing like Lia. It sounded like him.

Then it struck him. He was part of her now. Two halves of a whole had reconnected inside her. How could she possibly remain unchanged? Responsibility now battled with recklessness, shyness with brashness, reticence with assertiveness.

She reached out and ran her palms over his chest, making his flesh hum. How was he going to keep his hands off her? Desire flooded his system until his vision became streaked with red. Need pulsed through him. He wasn’t sure which part of her he hungered for the most, her body or her soul.

Somehow, he found the strength to pry her off him. He spun her around and sent her tumbling onto the bed. The sight of her sprawled on her back, vulnerable and inviting and as alluring as sin, tore a large chunk out of his self-control. He nearly lunged onto the mattress after her. The need to cover her body with his, to peel off that robe, to taste every inch of her skin was a raw, blistering ache inside him.

He backed away. “I can’t. I just can’t.” He didn’t trust himself right now. He wasn’t even sure what kind of disease raged through his blood. He wouldn’t risk hurting her, no matter how badly he wanted her.

She sat up in bed, pulled the sides of her robe closer together in a defensive gesture that told him he’d done precisely that. “I thought you said you weren’t a hero.”

Regret formed a bitter lump in his throat. “Doesn’t mean I can’t try to be. For your sake.”

Defeat tugging at her shoulders, she crawled under the covers and turned her back to him. “Fine, have it your way.”

He refrained from telling her that if he had it his way, she’d be naked right now.

That night, sleep refused to claim him, so he watched her sleep. The shadows were dense, the silence deep and oppressive, broken only by the soft rasp of her breathing. The gentle rise and fall of her chest soothed him, as did the peace that finally settled over her face.

Sitting across from her, shaken by everything he’d learned, he was assailed by this one certainty. She was his to cherish and protect, the source of his strength and his Achilles’ heel, the part of him he’d been missing even back when he was human. He couldn’t help but wonder if things would have been different had he met her sooner. Maybe that was why he’d been drawn to Cassie. Maybe on some visceral level he’d sensed her connection to the only woman who had the power to complete him. The power to save him.

Now it was too late. Evil had taken root inside him and was spreading its wings. All he could do was beat it into submission, at least long enough to fight off the monsters and ensure Lia’s safety.

After that, damnation could swallow him. There was only so long a man could deny what he was, and that time had long passed.

Chapter Seventeen

Jace didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until the dream shook him awake. Even with his eyes open, the strange vision persisted. He didn’t think he still had the capacity to dream. Then he understood the dream wasn’t his, but Lia’s. Distress rearranged her features as she twisted in bed.

In his mind he saw a copse of trees, heard the ocean raging beyond the woods, smelled the salt-laden air. A teenage boy stood in front of him, hatred and fury contorting his face.

Justin.
His name was Justin.

“Freak. I’m going to pound you into the ground. I’m going wipe the floor with you.” The kid flew at him, fists raised.

Behind the anger Jace sensed a festering pit of pain, and he tapped into it. “Won’t change a damn thing. Your mother will still be a whore and you’ll still be a bastard.”

An injured cry rent the night, right before Justin’s knuckles struck him in the jaw. Needles of pain lanced through Jace, blurring his vision, but he refused to stop. “She’ll keep getting drunk, and her boyfriends will keep beating and raping you until there’s nothing left of you. Until you’re broken inside.”

“Shut up.” A second fist, followed by another pang of agony.

“The damage can’t be undone. I see it. Like a smashed window. The sharp pieces keep stabbing into you. You think if you hit me the pain will go away, but it won’t. It’s never gonna go away. You’ve already started raiding her liquor cabinet. You’re no better than she is. No better than the shitheads she brings home.”

“I said shut up!” Justin reached beneath his jacket, pulled out a gun. Black metal gleamed in the pale light of the moon. The barrel was cold as it dug into Jace’s forehead.

A collective gasp rose from the crowd of teenagers gathered round, watching the fight.

“Cool it, Justin,” one of his buddies called. “Don’t do nothing stupid.”

Justin snarled and applied more pressure to the gun, his finger poised on the trigger.

Jace should’ve been scared shitless, but he wasn’t. He didn’t care anymore. One way or another, this was going to end. Tonight. “Go ahead,” he challenged. “Shoot me. It won’t change a thing. Doesn’t make a damn difference where you get fucked, at home or in the slammer.”

Suddenly Justin released him, his body wracked by sobs. His gaze scanned the crowd, pleading, desperate. Stunned, appalled faces stared back at him. They all saw him for what he was now—a coward, a weak, pathetic loser who got the crap kicked out of him more often than not. The illusion of courage was all Justin had, all that kept him together. Now that, too, was gone.

Justin backed away, sought shelter in the circle of trees behind him. Tears streaming down his face, he raised the gun to his mouth and didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. A vicious spray of blood and brains painted the night red. Then his body plunked to the ground.

A cacophony of screams shattered the hush that had hovered over the group. Everyone rushed to assess the damage. Many succumbed to tears. Others turned disapproving glares Jace’s way.

“It’s your fault,” a hysterical girl accused. “You drove him to this.”

Jace dragged himself to his feet, wiping his bloodied lip with his sleeve. Crippled by guilt—assailed by the unfaltering belief that he’d always be an outcast, a freak like Justin had said—he stumbled into the familiar woods that surrounded his home, far away from everything and everyone.

Deep down, he knew the girl was right. It was his fault. He’d pushed Justin to the breaking point. Part of him—a very important part—had wanted to see the kid suffer, the way Justin had been making him suffer for years.

Now he wished he could take it back. Take back every cruel, vindictive stab he’d taken at the guy. But he couldn’t erase the words he’d uttered any more than he could change what he was. All that was left for him to do was run and hide. The more distance he placed between himself and the rest of the world the better.

He was a disease. A disease that infected everything it touched.

Lia suddenly gasped and shot up in bed, her breath short and choppy. Tears flowed, fast and violent, to drench her cheeks. “I killed him,” she said. “I killed him.”

Jace hastened to her side and gathered her in his arms, cradling her, knowing now more than ever that his touch had the power to destroy her. “No, you didn’t,” he soothed. Ugly memories of that night exploded in his mind, made him wish for oblivion again. “I did.”

Unsettling silence permeated the room the next morning. The dream had done more than reveal a key event in Jace’s past. It had added yet another brick to the wall separating them. Jace’s expression was an unreadable mask, but Lia knew exactly what kind of turmoil stirred beneath that frozen surface.

That was the moment.

The moment everything had changed for him. The moment he’d accepted that he’d never truly belong. Then the drinking and the partying and the string of meaningless flings had begun. Excess, indulgence, all in search of a fulfillment he could never find. He never got close to anyone, never stayed long enough to cause any significant damage. Cassie had just been another stone along a well-traveled path, a brief distraction, a temporary balm to soothe an infection that just kept on spreading.

And all had culminated into one night. The night death finally found him, only to decide it didn’t want him after all.

“Stop doing that.” Jace pulled his wallet from his jacket, studied the wad of cash and credit cards within it.

“Doing what?” Lia tucked her lab coat under her arm and slipped into her shoes.

“Psychoanalyzing me. It’s pissing me off.”

“Sorry. I can’t help it. What happened that night, the things Justin did to you…” Years of debasement and abuse had left a ragged scar on his soul, and that pain now echoed through her and strangled her voice.

“That was no excuse for me to give him a one-way ticket to hell.”

“You didn’t mean to.”

Swirls of emotion deepened his eyes to forest green. “Yes, I did. Don’t lie to yourself, Lia, or to me. I wanted to hurt him. You know that as well as I do.”

“He pushed you to it. He’d been using you as a punching bag since grade school. I would’ve wanted to hurt him, too, if I were in your shoes.”

He shoved the wallet into his pocket, trailed toward the door but stopped a few feet short of exiting. “You know what’s funny?” He hunched his shoulders, bent his head forward as though trying to hold on to the pain. “That I had to become a monster to finally figure out what it means to be human.”

Reticently, Lia approached him and wrapped tentative fingers around his. “You’re not a monster. You never were.”

“What makes you so sure? You heard what Cal said.”

“I know you,” she persisted. “Better than you know yourself. I feel you inside me.”