Song of the Nile (40 page)

I remembered the emperor’s reaction to my maidenhead and how much pleasure it gave him to know he was the only man to have me. If I were to give myself to Juba, it might break the emperor’s fascination, and a part of me seized upon this as the solution to everything. Then I thought of those statues I’d commissioned, my mother, my brothers, all those who’d died, and I came to my senses. “It would ruin everything, Juba. I’d lose
everything
.”

His head fell back and he closed his eyes. “Don’t tell me that you haven’t come to love Mauretania. Can’t your ambitions be satisfied with this new kingdom we’re building? That’s all that drives you.
Ambition
. You can’t have conceived a true passion for Augustus, so why can’t you stay? Tell me what stands between me and your heart, and I’ll conquer it.”

This kind of talk frightened me. “I cannot abandon Egypt. Especially not when she is at war!”

“You worry needlessly for Egypt. I have it on the best authority that the Kandake of Meroë will send ambassadors to negotiate a peace treaty with Augustus.”

This news was a lightning bolt, electrifying my blood until every hair stood on end. Tingling everywhere, I scarcely trusted myself to speak. “Meroë will send a delegation to Augustus? To the Isle of Samos?”

Juba tilted his head, eyes wide with confusion. “So I’m told. The Kandake herself may go.”

Any hesitation, any doubt, that I might answer the emperor’s summons vanished. For Isidora’s sake, I might embrace a life with Juba, but Egypt and Helios stood between us. If the warrior queen of Meroë was to join Augustus, so must I. I must see her with my own eyes. I must search her retainers for even a glimpse of my twin. I’d leave for Greece today and not all the sincerity in Juba’s eyes would stop me.

Twenty-eight

GREECE SPRING 21 B.C.

EXCEPT for the billowing purple sails on my ship, my arrival on the Isle of Samos was without fanfare. No cherubic children threw flower petals from the prow. No harpists played at the rail. My ladies were all well turned out and sweet-smelling but eschewed the more exotic perfumes. I scandalized no one with my dress, for my voluminous purple cloak covered me from shoulder to ankle. Let no one claim that I’d answered the summons of Augustus with a notorious campaign to seduce him, even if it was the truth.

Captain Kabyle dropped anchor and my guards escorted me to shore. A deep breath assured me that this place wasn’t like Rome or Egypt or Mauretania. Peeking out between the foliage were beach houses, shops and villas, some painted in washed-out pastels, accented with the occasional blue or terra-cotta. Samos was the birthplace of Pythagoras, that great philosopher and mathematician. There was even a school here to honor him and a contingent of Lady Lasthenia’s colleagues stumbled over themselves to make me feel welcome. They weren’t my subjects, but I was Cleopatra’s daughter. My mother and father visited this island before the Battle of Actium. They feasted and entertained so lavishly on the eve of battle that the people anticipated a great victory. Now I had returned to wage a war of my own. “Great Queen Cleopatra! New Isis, New Isis!” the people cried.

Could the emperor hear them chant? Would it please him or harden his heart against me?

As a girl in Rome, my survival had depended upon my ability to predict his moods and guess at his next moves, but my time in Mauretania had obviously dulled my skills, for I certainly never anticipated that he’d send Livia to fetch me. “Welcome to the Isle of Samos, Queen Selene,” she said with her least genuine smile. “I’ve come to invite you to stay at our villa. You and your darling little daughter.”

Livia’s pleasantries were meant for our audience—the crowds and curious onlookers who gathered near the docks. Even so, her invitation was an honor that I couldn’t refuse, so I took Isidora’s hand and we climbed into Livia’s litter. The moment the curtains shut, Livia’s smile faded. “Listen to them cheer you, the half-wits.
I’m
the one who asked Augustus to restore this island to selfgovernance, and yet
you
are the darling of the Hellenes.”

“Perhaps they cheer me to please you,” I remarked as Isidora nestled against my hip, fists curled under her chin as exhaustion closed her little eyes. “We’re allegedly family, after all.”

Livia stared at my daughter’s fair curls, not bothering to hide her scrutiny. “She doesn’t even look like him, you know.”

My daughter seemed to already be asleep, but I wished to forestall this line of conversation at all costs. “Livia—”

“She’s probably a sailor’s get.” Livia lowered her hands to the crimson cushions beneath us and let her nails dig in. “No matter how modestly you dress, you’re still a strumpet, Selene. Still, Augustus will never see it, because men are fools.” It reassured me to find her still full of petty insults and animosity, for if Augustus intended to punish me, Livia would have been gleeful. Instead, she was behaving like the woman who had stolen the emperor from Julia’s mother and now feared that I’d steal him from her. “Last year, you ran from him, Selene. That was clever. You’ve learned to tease him but that game cannot go on forever. Eventually, you must surrender, and when you do, what do you think will happen?”

Lifting my chin, I met her gaze. “I think he’ll make me Queen of Egypt.”

She laughed, throwing her head back. “As if that would be enough for you.”

It had never occurred to me to want more. I wasn’t like Livia, always jealous of everyone else’s success and happiness. Since we were being candid, I asked her the question that had been burning in my soul. “Did you poison Philadelphus?”

Her shoulders lifted in a shrug, her voice bored. Indifferent. “I did nothing but wish him dead. Your brother was a sickly boy. Hope that your daughter doesn’t share the same ailments.”

This was the woman who had placed a cup of poison beside my bed and urged me to drink it; I knew she was a monster, but she wasn’t the only one with a darkly destructive creature inside. At the sound of so casual a threat made against my daughter, molten hatred surged up inside me. My
heka
stewed in rage, and I scented the metallic notes of iron and blood in my nostrils. The litter jostled as if caught by the wind. “Don’t you know that I could kill you, Livia?”

She looked up swiftly, head bobbing at the top of her fragile neck. “I’m the emperor’s wife. You don’t dare harm me, you sorceress, you witch, you
striga!
”

I wrapped one arm around Isidora. “You’re right to say that I’m a sorceress. And you’ve seen only the smallest fraction of my powers. If I want to be rid of you, some late night, you’ll stand at the edge of a cliff or at the rail of a ship, and a gust of wind will grab you and drag you down.” These things weren’t in my power, but I enjoyed the way she went white with fear. “I’m not that little girl you bullied in Rome. I’m not the dazed bride that you betrayed on a rainy night. I’m a nightmare of your own creation, so remember this: If you ever harm my daughter, if you so much as put her in fear, I will make you
disappear
.”

Livia’s bony hand fluttered uselessly at her neck. “Augustus will hear of this threat. There’ll be consequences!”

“Do you think so?” I was still hot with ire, my fingers tingling with the
heka
that I longed to wield against her. “Years ago Augustus watched me throw you to the floor. How did he retaliate? He made me Queen of Mauretania. This time, he’ll give me Egypt.” I said this with utter conviction, but it was false bravado on my part; I had no confidence in my influence over the emperor, and Livia might well be the one to laugh last.

THE emperor received me publicly sitting upon his ivory curule chair in the presence of his
lictors
and various staff members. The villa he’d commandeered as his headquarters was large and luxurious, and I was sure that Maecenas had chosen it. Indeed, the emperor’s political adviser was close at hand, scribbling notes. Livia’s son Tiberius was also nearby, the very picture of a military tribune, standing straight in his armor, carved greaves accenting his strong legs. I’d expected these men to be here, but I hadn’t expected Admiral Agrippa, who stood stony-faced, as if he saw in me a gorgon approaching.

Giving me all the due courtesies of a queen, the emperor greeted me formally. This was to my advantage. It allowed me to measure him before we were alone. I couldn’t tell if he was glad to see me or holding back a year’s worth of frothing rage, but Augustus looked healthy. Robust. As if he’d spent the past year in the gymnasium every day. When he rose to his feet, he even seemed taller, but it was only his sandals, the soles of which had been built up to give him extra height.

He was a man who meant to make a physical impression on me.

Once the official forms had been observed, I clutched the hand of my tiny princess as she made a very proper bow. Then I followed suit. The emperor didn’t smile at either of us, and I was grateful when Tala quickly ushered my daughter away. As I’ve said, I dressed modestly for the occasion, but beneath my cloak, I wore my mother’s serpentine armlet, and when I moved to hand over Juba’s correspondence, the emperor must have caught a glimpse of it because a brief spark finally lit behind his otherwise frosty gray eyes. I drew the moment out. I reported in minute detail upon the prosperity of the kingdom he’d given me and gave assurances that there’d be more grain this year. I inquired about the health and well-being of each member of the imperial family.

At last, when the emperor was actually fidgeting, I agreed to retire with him to a more private part of the house. Agrippa and his wife followed, and I was so genuinely happy to see Marcella that I kissed her on both cheeks and held her hands fast. “How does Lady Octavia fare?”

“Not well,” Marcella admitted. “Of all the children in her nursery, she has only Minora with her now. My mother wishes to retire from public life.” We both sighed together at Octavia’s fall. Then Marcella said, “I’m so sorry, Selene. For Philadelphus. He was always the sweetest little boy.”

She didn’t acknowledge Helios and, given our present company, I didn’t blame her. The emperor pretended that Helios simply never existed, and so we must all do the same. “I grieved for Marcellus too, but let’s not speak of sad things.” I made myself smile. “Your little Marcellina must be growing fast. Perhaps she and my Isidora can play together.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Agrippa said, muttering to himself as if he were stunned to see me in the flesh.

As a servant poured my wine, I asked, “Didn’t you know I was coming, Admiral? I
was
summoned.”

Agrippa glowered. “Not by me.”

“Enough, Agrippa,” the emperor snapped. That they’d quarreled again was made plain by the emperor’s guarded posture. “Don’t you have something else to do?”

“My wife wished to visit with the queen,” Agrippa said. “I wouldn’t trust any
decent
woman in Selene’s presence unsupervised. I’m sure she has some new scandalous surprise for us, no?”

“I do not,” I said, more irritated on behalf of Marcella than myself. She didn’t need supervision, like a child.

“You see, Selene?” Augustus said, making notes on a wax tablet. “Your dignified arrival has disappointed those who’d expected to see a seductress upon her pleasure barge.”

My heart sank. Perhaps he
had
wanted me to answer his summons in ostentatious fashion, to remind all the world of my mother and set the stage for this latest drama. Had I failed this first, vital test? “My mother went to Tarsus on a pleasure barge to please my father, a man of exotic tastes, but I wish to please only
Caesar
, who is an entirely different sort of man.”

It was my opening salvo, and the corners of the emperor’s mouth twitched as if he were considering a smile. “If you wished to please me, then why did you leave Rome without my permission?”

With Agrippa and Marcella looking on, I could hardly remind him that he’d demanded a son from me. “I was mad with grief for my dead brother, Caesar, and your poor nephew. I beg your forgiveness.”

He cast a baleful look my way. “Why should I forgive you?”

“Because I’ve come swiftly to submit to your will,” I said. “May I ask for what purpose you’ve summoned me?”

The emperor removed a crown of oak leaves from his brow. In Rome, he normally hung the
corona civica
on his doorpost. Here in Greece he wore it to give the semblance of royalty, but I gathered from the way he tore it from his head that it wasn’t as comfortable as a crown might be. “I’ve summoned you to help with negotiations, Selene. This Kandake of Meroë may respect your authority as a nominal Queen of Egypt.”

About to gulp his wine, Agrippa stopped and his hand tightened around the goblet. “Since when is Selene
any
kind of Queen of Egypt?”

The emperor snapped, “She is whatever I say she is.”

Marcella put a calming hand on her husband’s wrist, and Agrippa fell silent. I tried to pretend his silence wasn’t dangerous and I asked, “When will we meet with the Kandake?”

“Her emissaries should arrive shortly,” Augustus said. “I want you to convince them to deal fairly with me. Soften them, so that when I give terms, they’ll accept them. I don’t want to worry about Egypt when we’re readying for war on Parthia.”

War was certain, then. Once, I might’ve welcomed the idea of the emperor lying dead in some foreign field, stuck with Parthian arrows, but I still needed him alive. “I’m eager to do all that you ask, Augustus.”

I hadn’t intended a double meaning, but Agrippa slammed his cup down. “So it begins again!”

The emperor’s stormy gray eyes narrowed. “Mind your tone, Admiral.”

Ever one to flinch away from conflict, Marcella rose from her chair, giving me an apologetic look before fleeing. No well-bred Roman woman would allow herself to be caught up in a man’s quarrel, but I stayed where I was. This seemed to enrage Agrippa even more. “What is it about her, Caesar? Is it the ring?” At that moment, the burly soldier grabbed me to expose the carved amethyst. My betrothal ring. My
mother’s
ring. It wasn’t the first time Agrippa had grasped me roughly. With painful childhood memories coming fresh to my mind, I lifted my free hand to fend him off. Without my consciously having summoned it,
heka
raced down my arm. The wind ripped past my elbow and slammed into the celebrated general. Agrippa fell back, his chair tipping as he was forced to release me. He clambered for balance, slipped on the tile, and one leg went into the pool. Grasping at the ledge, his big hands too wet to find purchase, Agrippa roared in anger.