Son of Sun (Forgotten Gods (Book 2)) (22 page)

Until now, touch had only shown Chassan all that was ugly in the world. A fate that suddenly made his life seem like the darkest hell on earth. No wonder his life had become an evil legend. No wonder he was so angry with the world. Had I lived his unforgiving life, I would have been the same way. My heart hurt for him, and all that he had lost.

I didn’t flinch, or protest in the slightest, when he raised my hand to his cheek and rested it there, just as little Anyi often did. His flesh burned hot as fire, but to me, it felt just fine. I raised up onto my knees, drawing closer, my heart breaking to see how hesitantly he approached something I had always taken for granted. He seemed like a little boy, facing a childhood fear that had replaced his dreams with nightmares. I wanted to show him. I wanted him to feel the goodness touch could bring.

With great care, I took his other hand in mine and raised it to my own cheek. He recoiled at first, as if he feared touch he did not control. With a simple smile and an encouraging nod of my head, he relented and I pressed his palm into the curve of my face. On contact, he sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, goosebumps flying up his arm. His hand quaked, and then stilled. The blush that had threatened at the base of my ear burned again, until Chassan’s fingers found the fleshy lobe and chased the blush away.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand, suddenly remembering how long it had been since I had felt touch like this too. It was not the aggrandized admirations of a child who worshipped me for something I quite possibly was not. But an irreplaceable bond shared with someone who would forever leave a mark on my soul. I sighed when his thumb brushed the edge of my lips, relishing his touch, and pressing further into his palm.

It didn’t feel wrong. At that moment, nothing about Chassan felt wrong. He was no longer the malevolent sun god who had come screaming from his rock with death on his brain. He was almost human, feeling kindness and love for the first time in his existence. His breath blew hot against my cheek, coming in ragged breaths that startled me from the moment.

When I opened my eyes, inches separated our lips.

“No, don’t…” I began to stop him, not because I wanted to, but because I thought it was what I should do. Yet, I didn’t pull away.

“Shhhh…” He soothed, his thumb running back and forth along the line of my lip just as it had the back of my hand. His touch sang to me, and I let down any wall I had erected where he was concerned. It was something about his scent. A soft, clean mix of sky and sun, that overwhelmed me—pulled me to him with an undeniable ache deep in my core. I leaned in ever so slightly, suddenly wanting the very thing I knew I shouldn’t.

In the fire light, his lips shimmered like gold as they closed the inches and pressed oh-so-softly into my own. His lips held the power of the sun. A magic that illuminated my world in a bright flash of light. A magic that burned its way down deep into my core, soothing the ache it had caused. A force that roused my own sleeping magic from its hiding place along my spine. An overwhelming power in his kiss alone, and yet something else lingered behind his lips. Something much, much deeper.

Chassan’s lips were hot, burning against my own, as he pressed their cloud-like softness to mine. My hand slipped from his cheek, to the back of his neck and up into the golden halo of hair I had watched him run his fingers through every day, part of me wishing the hand were my own.

I had never been kissed like this, and knew I never would be again. The depth of Chassan’s pain made the delight of his pleasure infinitely sweeter. He held me like glass, yet his grasp closed tighter as if daring me to shatter. His lips whispered he needed me, but in the same breath he hated me for making him. He leaned into me with the longing of forever at the same time he shied away from my embrace. Our kiss was exquisite torture, bringing him just as much pleasure as it did pain.

For a brief moment I wanted to lose myself in him.

And then it was over.

Gently, he pulled away, forcing our lips apart. My hand lingered at the nape of his neck, not wanting to let go. His lips stayed slightly opened, slicked with the proof of our kiss glistening in firelight. My heart hammered in my chest, threatening to break ribs with its unwieldy beat. Breath came heavy, or not at all, his touch making my lungs suddenly forget how to function.

Heavy with promise, his eyes fell to my pulsating, bee-stung lips. From the grip he held on the side of my neck, he raised a thumb and brushed slowly across the length of my aching lips, teasing them with a touch that hurled my heart straight to my toes. Wiping the remains of our kiss with his thumb, his hooded gaze raised again and stared into mine so intently, I was instantly lost in hot, honeyed swirls.

An eternity could have passed and I wouldn’t have known it. Slowly, his tongue poked out between his pouty lips, licking the taste of me from his mouth. A disbelieving chuckle slipped from his throat, and he drew his full lips into a crooked smile. Trapped in the curve of his mouth, I sat there, silently staring at him, wanting more and confused why he didn’t.

In a confident movement, he reached for my hand, clasping my wrist in his strong grip and forcing it from his neck. With golden eyes boring holes into mine, he held my hand near his face. Gently, he traced the silky skin of my inner wrist with a hot thumb. When he turned it over and placed the gentlest of kisses on my palm, I closed my eyes and swooned into him, not wanting his touch to stop. Ever.

His body stilled, and the warmth that had emanated from him turned to ice. When I opened my eyes he was staring at Dayne’s bracelet as if it were breaking his heart.

“I’m sorry, Faye. I shouldn’t have…” He stood abruptly, the crooked smile falling from his lips. In my weakened state, I nearly fell into the fire when he released me.

“Chassan!” I called after him as he stormed to the door, his mood suddenly darker than a thunderhead.

In the doorway he stopped, his body rigid. He spun back to me, an unreadable mask falling over his face.

“You know what? I take it back. I’m not sorry at all.” His eyes blazed golden ochre in the shadows for a few wicked seconds. I said nothing, and he vanished into the night.

I was nervous and shaky when dawn stole into the Q’ero village on ghostly feet. It reminded me of a scene from a movie where a doomed queen watched the sun that would witness her beheading rise from her prison tower window. Is that how little Anyi felt watching her last sunrise? I couldn’t bear to think about it. A nagging thought reminded me I feared this day far more than Anyi did.

I feared it for many reasons. My departure would be swift when I pulled Anyi safely from the fire. There would be no goodbyes. Chassan had never returned after our kiss. What that meant, I wasn’t sure. The one thing I was sure of? After he learned the secret I’d been hiding he’d never want to kiss me again. I don’t know why that made me feel so empty.

But those were the easy things to fear. Or forget.

Normally, a sleepless night would’ve been spent obsessing over a kiss I hadn’t known I wanted, but somehow needed. Not now. Not when there were heavier thoughts to consider. Thoughts so weighty they crashed into my skull like a wrecking ball.

The possibility remained that my own magic wasn’t enough to save Anyi. Fire didn’t destroy me the way it did the rest of the world, but was my unpracticed magic enough to snatch a little girl from death? I still wasn’t sure.

Then there was the whole precarious balance of things this trip had brought to a startling clarity I had never considered.

While my intervention would give Anyi her life, it would end my old one with the boldest exclamation mark there was. After showing the Q’ero—and Chassan—what I was, there would be no going back to regular old Faye Kent from Atlanta, Georgia.

That, however, was just the tip of the iceberg. Life and death evened out their balances in the world everyday, whether I was around to intervene or not.

Embracing what I was birthed the element of fire into this world. A force so feared it had brought enemies together as brothers in a shared fight to keep it at bay. I knew my intentions were pure. Never, would I ever, use my magic to destroy the world. But the darker forces Dayne talked about wouldn’t know that. They would judge me without knowing me and cast me where fire belonged. If they didn’t kill me first.

Get out of your head, Faye! Quit psyching yourself out!
I screamed under my breath as I paced the straw floor, wringing my hands with worry.

I was dressed in the blue caftan Anyi had given me, thinking it was only appropriate to leave this world the goddess
she
thought I was.

A broad, gap-toothed smile pushed her crab apple cheeks to bursting when I entered her bedroom with the sunrise.

Crinkled tin foil from chocolate candy bar wrappers littered her bed, a ring of brown around her mouth. Only one person in the village had such an exotic treat—Chassan.

My heart raced. Quickly, I scanned the shadows of the room, hoping he’d been hiding here with her all night. But he was not lurking in the darkened places. I sighed and turned to Anyi with a forced smile, my lips feeling like treasonous traitors for pretending I was happy about this day.

As I approached her bed, she leapt from it and body tackled me, her arms curling around my neck, squeezing me tightly. It was like Christmas morning had come for Anyi, her little body quaked with the kind of trembling excitement that steals your nervous system before the really big things in life. Again reminding me all the firsts she would never have. I brushed her silky, raven hair from her round russet face and stared into her dancing black eyes, my heart leaping and bursting at the same time. Nerves took over my body as I held her, but mine were for a completely different reason.

The palace servants bathed and dressed Anyi in a fine red robe woven with white and pink vines on the shoulders. I did my best to keep her entertained. We played our pipes and some game that resembled American marbles.

A soft knock landed on the door and her mother—the soon to be crowned queen—entered the room. Not a single tear stained Chapac’s cheeks, though her eyes were swollen to puffy red lines. With her own long robe sweeping the stone floor, she floated over to Anyi and began adorning the child with ropes of shells and feathers, her weathered hands trembling.

I had to turn away.

Anyi was full of smiles and little girl giggles, as if this were her wedding day instead of what it was. More than once it all got to be too much for me. Losing myself in my own depressing thoughts, I would let out a great, forlorn sigh. Anyi must’ve had the hearing of a bat, because every time she would stop, turn to me, take my hand and softly shake her head, as if to say
Don’t worry about me! I’m okay!

Maybe she was okay...I was anything but okay. My insides churned like a storm on the horizon, dread washing over me when I thought about what I was going to do. There was still enough time for me to run. For me to flee to the forest so I wouldn’t have to see the atrocities visited on sweet Anyi, like Rhea and her group.

It was nice to at least contemplate those possibilities. But the reality was, I wasn’t going anywhere. I was the only shot this little girl had to live. And if it meant standing the world on its ear, I was going to do what I had to do to save her. After all, why was Chassan the only god who had a say in what her future would be?

The sun was high enough to bake Anyi’s bedroom wall, causing the air to get hot and thick, when Chapac and Tinchi returned several hours later.

In her hand, Chapac carried a golden tea set. The metal clattered softly in her hands as she walked, holding it in front of her in a ceremonious way. Tinchi’s hand rested on her shoulder.

Coca leave’s pungent scent filled my nostrils and I closed my eyes at the realization of the death swimming in that tea pot. The coca tea would drug Anyi, disorient her senses, numb her body, and confuse her brain so that she felt nothing as the flames stole her life.

Once she drank this, it would be time to go. My stomach lurched up to my throat, blocking any hope I had of breathing, as I watched Anyi tilt the golden cup and drink every last drop of the poisoned liquid. I wanted to slap the cup from her hand—like they do in the movies. But I knew I couldn’t. If I interfered in any way, they would never let me go to the sacred place with Anyi. I crossed my useless arms over my chest and closed my eyes, trying to find some peace for my ravaged insides.

Anyi’s face was blank as she looked up at her mother. Chapac bent and kissed her daughter’s smooth forehead, whispered lovingly to her as she stroked her hair and turned to leave.

When Anyi’s door closed, I heard a whispered scuffle in the hallway, much to quiet for anyone but me to hear. I knew immediately Chapac had collapsed into TInchi’s arms, the grief finally overtaking her. No wonder family weren’t allowed at Anyi’s altar. It didn’t matter how traditional and ceremonious this all was, no loving mother could watch her baby girl die.

Dense fog blanketed the village when we emerged, shrouding the happy sun in a grey nothingness that seemed appropriate. We left the palace walls in yet another parade—shaman, soldiers, Anyi and me.

The villagers had scattered Anyi’s path with foliage and flowers, but everyone remained silently in their tent, burning coca leaves to honor Inti. The air was cool and damp from the fog, but thick and pungent from the coca fires. Every now and then a ray of sun would break through, momentarily warming the air, but it never lasted.

I wondered if they watched from their windows as the brave little girl went willingly to her death so that they might be saved. Was their conscience at all bothered by such pointless sacrifice, or did they simply sit and pray fervently to Inti? It didn’t matter. As far as I was concerned, if I didn’t possess the power to save Anyi, her blood was on every hand in this village. I shivered at the thought.

I was beyond disgusted with the whole ordeal by the time we reached the sacred site. A few times along the path Anyi had stumbled, but waved my hand away when I tried to help her stand. The drugs had taken over her body, her black eyes blank as rocks staring at me.

Her breathing had grown increasingly ragged as we climbed. Her steps slower and slower, her body less and less proud. She dropped the tiny clutch of flowers she carried. I stooped to gather them up, and wanted to sweep her into my arms too. But that would have brought dishonor to Anyi, so I walked silently behind.

The ashes of her grandfather’s pyre had scattered with the wind. The snowcapped peaks rose grandly behind the stone altar. At such an elevation, the sun was strong enough to melt the fog away.

A shaft of golden light started on the top of the mountain, causing the snow to glitter like a field of diamonds. Slowly, it spread, until its bright light blessed Anyi’s altar as well.

Her body heaving violently just to breathe, she turned to me. I pressed the clutch of flowers into her hand, and she gave me a wistful, far away smile. My chin trembled, and try as I may, I couldn’t stop it. Tears welled up in my eyes. A tiny sound escaped Anyi. Either a whimper or a satisfied purr. I wasn’t sure.

She turned to her altar and took three proud steps, before she crashed to the ground. My body instinctively lurched forward only to be caught in the strong hands of the Q’ero soldiers. I strained forward, desperate as I watched her little back sway under the heavy red robe as she struggled to find her feet.

“Help her!” I shouted to the shaman. “Somebody help her!” I turned to the stone-faced soldiers, tears flowing down my cheeks. My blood was boiling, nearing a point where I would either explode or implode.

Slowly, Anyi’s body began to move, crawling on her hands and knees like a baby, still moving toward the altar, determined her death would bring honor.

I jerked an arm away from one of the soldiers, but stood still. Knowing it wasn’t time yet. Knowing I had to watch this barbaric charade until the fire was lit.

With all my mind, I focused on Anyi. Every fiber of my being reached out to the girl as she crawled over the stoney ground toward death. My temples ached I concentrated so hard, looking at her, calling to her muscles, feeling the adrenaline spike in my own body and pushing it toward her in my mind.

As if she heard my call, the little girl stood and took the last few steps she needed to before collapsing on the altar. With shaking hands, she reached up to the top of it and pulled herself up with strength that defied logic. An audible murmur rose from the group witnessing such power and determination. Everyone obviously shocked by Anyi’s strength.

When she settled on her death bed, soldiers rushed forward and spread dried grass at the base of the altar. My feet were planted, chest pushed out, hands balled to fists at my sides. It was almost here. It was almost time.

The shaman spoke, and turned to the soldiers. They all looked around at one another as if something were missing. My eyes flickered from Anyi on the pyre to the shaman who was looking at my bracelet.

He spoke and pointed to my arm. A soldier reached for my wrist and I jerked it into my chest, turning my shoulder to block his hand.

They had forgotten her offering of gold? I narrowed my eyes as I stared at the shaman. He looked sheepishly at the ground.
Of all the ignorant, impossible things in the world….

I shook my head at him and stared at the soldiers, daring them to stop me. With confident strides I approached the altar, pulling Dayne’s bracelet from my wrist as I went. Anyi’s chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, looking so much like she had the night she was ill I feared I was running out of time. Could the coca tea kill her? People overdosed on cocaine all the time, which was made from the very purest of coca leaves. The kind of leaves that grew near the Q’ero village.

I brushed one hand over her forehead, getting little response. Her face was bathed in sweat, her lips dry and eyes closed, tiny tears seeping from the corners. Wet gurgles replaced soft breath.

There was zero remorse in my body as I let go of Dayne’s golden charm. It had once been all I felt like I had in the world. In that moment, it was nothing more than a piece of metal. A symbol at best. Giving it to Anyi gave it a purpose, gave it greatness. I brushed my thumb over its intricate scroll work one last time as I slid it into place on her tiny wrist.

A gift to the gods. Asking them to take sweet Anyi to their home in the heavens.

The uncertainty that had stolen my waking thoughts crept back to the forefront of my mind.

Why would I offer this gift to gods I had insisted didn’t exist? The answer was simple. I still doubted I had the power to save her. If I failed, I hoped there was still some way for Chassan to make her death beautiful, as he had promised.

An ear splitting cry echoed over the Andes and behind me I heard the awkward shuffles of the soldiers falling to the ground. Chassan had arrived. His condor god’s body circling overhead to take this beautiful little soul before the fire was even lit. That had to be the stuff of great legends. Had to.

I wiped my cheek with the back of the hand that clasped Anyi’s, leaning over her quivering little body as I placed a delicate kiss on her forehead. Her eyes opened.