Somewhere in Between (16 page)

Her voice changed, cracking slightly at the end, as her eyes began to well with tears. Elliot couldn't handle it. He didn't want to see Gemma cry. Actually, he couldn't handle even the idea of it. The only time he wanted tears flowing from her eyes was because she was happy. Not because three monsters had tried to destroy her. She was too beautiful, too wonderful and perfect to ever cry out of sorrow. He resolved right then to make sure she never felt another moment of fear or pain or sadness.

Pulling her chair closer to his, Elliot let his arms wrap around her, holding her securely. "You wouldn't ruin anything, sweetheart. There is no way anything you say or do would cause anything to be ruined." He stroked her back, and threaded his fingers through her hair to soothe her. "Your family loves you, Gemma. And I know your parents were probably thinking of you and how you would handle the situation if people had come over. It's barely been over a month, there is no way for you to not have a reaction."

"I wish it wasn't that way. I mean this is my
family
! I should be able to be around them and not panic." She shook her head in frustration, her cheek brushing against Elliot's chest. "I can handle being around my dad no problem. And Trent doesn't bother me anymore."

"But that's your dad, he would do everything in his power, and outside of his ability, to protect you and be there for you." Elliot pulled back slightly, to look closely at Gemma. "And Trent, well, you know Leighanna would kick his ass. But still, you said Trent doesn’t bother you any
more
. It took time. Nothing is overnight.”

“I just figured because it’s my family things wouldn’t be so bad.”

Sighing, Elliot lightly stroked her cheek. “You are doing so well. Don’t beat yourself up over this,” he begged. “I mean you even had a few moments of doubt with Josh when he started sitting with us, and he’s pretty much a walking skeleton. It’s okay to feel the way you feel.”

"But what about you?" she asked with a sniffle. "I've never been afraid to be around you."

Elliot had no answer for her on that matter. He didn't understand it himself; why she could be close to him, trust him unconditionally, without a second thought. He'd asked countless times, his aunt, his father, even the detectives in Broomfield, but no one could give him a solid answer. So he didn't respond, instead turning the conversation back to the beginning. "Why were you asking about my plans?"

For a moment, she felt confusion cloud her mind, uncertain of what Elliot was talking about, until the fog of her attack cleared. Shaking her head, her cheeks now filling with blush, she forced herself to focus on their initial conversation, rather than the way it felt to be so close to him, with him caressing her cheek so softly. "Oh, right. Um, I was wondering, and mom, mom was wondering if you and your family didn't have plans, if you'd like to have dinner with us." She fidgeted in her seat, twisting her fingers hard against one another as she spoke. "I mean I know given how things are going with Christie that things might be awkward, but the invitation still stands."

He couldn't help but smile at the way she seemed so nervous asking such a simple question. It made him wonder, were the nerves because of the situation, and everything involving Christie? Or was there more behind it? Was Gemma anxious because of something involving him? Whatever the reason, he didn't want to see Gemma struggle any longer, especially after everything she'd already been through.

"I don't see why we couldn't come over. I'll talk to my parents tonight, but I'm going to say yes." Her smile was beautiful as it lit up her face, gracing her eyes. Elliot knew he was in serious trouble.

*LtB*

As expected, Dalton and Grace were very open to the invitation.

"Gemma asked me during math homework if we had plans for Thanksgiving. She and her mom are wondering if we would like to join them for dinner," Elliot asked his parents as they sat sipping coffee and hot chocolate in the kitchen. Both had a plate of cookies before them signaling Grace was on a baking kick still.

A thoughtful expression seemed to pass between the two adults. "That would be lovely," his mom finally answered with a soft smile that made Elliot uneasy, but only because it reminded him of the smile she gave when he confessed his feelings for Gemma. It was almost as if the gears were turning on something.

"Um, there's just one thing," he began, taking a moment to clear his throat. "Will Christie be going too?"

That pulled the smiles away. But, it seemed, only momentarily. With another shared look, and a nod from both, Dalton spoke. "I think, given how well Christie has been doing, not only in her classes, but with her after school tutoring lessons and both volunteer jobs, she's earned the right to go."

It was a relief to hear that not only would they be attending Thanksgiving dinner at the Grady residence, but that Christie was doing better. Though, he did need to request one thing. But looking at his mom, and remembering how horrible it had been betraying Gemma's trust to his father, Elliot knew he needed to get his dad alone to talk. Fortunately, his mom was already off in her own world.

"I'll call Caroline tomorrow to see if there's anything she'd like me to bring. And also find out what time she wants us over so I can help cook." Grace started making a list and mumbling to herself. "She's a southern gal so I'm sure there will be lots of food… wonder if I should…."

"Uh, dad?" he started just as his mom walked out of the room.

"Yeah?"

He looked again toward where his mom had wandered off. He could still hear her muffled voice talking about pumpkin pies and cranberry sauce. Satisfied she wouldn't hear what he was about to say, Elliot returned his attention back to his father. "Given what Gemma has gone through, her family was supposed to go back to Austin to celebrate since everyone still lives there, but her parents didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable situation." He glanced again toward where his mom stood, next to her cookbook as she continued talking to herself and writing something on a notepad. He almost laughed at how dedicated his mom was at making holidays so good. "She's really good being around her dad; I mean that's her dad. And she can now handle being around Trent and Josh without incident. But there will be a lot of people around, and the last thing she wants is to freak out and then have to explain it."

"That's understandable," his dad agreed. "And school, how is she doing there?"

"Well, really good given the circumstance. No one really leaves her side though for very long. But she is on her own in most of her classes." Elliot was proud of her for what she had accomplished. Not once had Gemma ever told him she couldn't handle being alone. "Most people figure she was just really sick so they don't bother her. If anything, that made people leave her alone even more."

"That's good. The last thing Gemma needs is teenagers prying." Dalton crossed his arms over his chest and studied Elliot. "So what did you need?"

He didn't know how to say this without it sounding bad. "It's just; I don't want Christie to say anything to hurt Gemma. I mean I don't think she will. It's just, I am a little worried that she may say something without meaning to be mean. Or even just something innocuous and Gemma takes it wrong."

Several seconds passed in which Elliot saw several emotions pass across his father's face before appreciation settled. "I understand where you're coming from, son, and I love that you are so concerned for Gemma. But I believe, given the Christie I've seen these last few weeks, she will probably be pretty quiet." Elliot was a little taken aback at this news. The sister he remembered was so vibrant and excitable, he couldn't imagine her subdued. "There are some things going on with your sister, nothing life alarmingly serious, so there's no need for you to worry," Dalton said quickly, stopping Elliot from even forming a frown. "But she has had to reevaluate many of her choices, her behavior, and how she views the world. What we found out has been a large part of why she's been acting out."

"I don't understand." He was baffled. What could have possibly gone on that Christie had changed so drastically?

"Son, your sister is dyslexic. Now, that is in no way an excuse for how she has acted, but it is something that she must learn to deal with. And we are taking steps to get her help." There was a moment where his dad just looked at him, obviously seeing that he didn't understand how this was so hard to deal with. "Your mother and I feel that we should have seen this. But Christie has always found a way to make things work, and never once complained anything was too hard. But into high school, things changed, and she couldn't "fake" her way through her classes anymore."

He shook his head. "So she acted out because of it? Lots of people have some kind of… disability and they don't bully people."

"There's a little more to it than that, and I'll let Christie tell you when she's ready, but essentially yes. Again, it does not excuse her actions, and nothing in regards to her volunteer work or tutoring will change. She has a lot to make up for." His dad smiled warmly at him then. "So I am very comfortable in believing that not only will Christie be respectful to everyone at this dinner, but also not say anything that may be misconstrued. Besides, she already knows any more mess-ups and the punishment will be much more severe than it is now."

And with that, Dalton Wade patted his son on the back and walked to join his wife who was now in the dining room leaving Elliot to mull over the new information.

*LtB*

As they talked on the phone that night, Gemma learned about Christie's condition, and that she would be in attendance for the dinner. Unlike Elliot, Gemma had no reservations about the girl's appearance.

"I don't doubt your dad. And I'm sure whatever punishment could come would be enough. Besides, I know it's possible for someone to say something. I mean your dad
knows
, Elliot. That will be difficult enough," she said. It made him realize she was right. Christie could say anything, but having his dad know what had happened, was traumatic on its own. "What is Mary doing?"

Her voice was meek and he didn't like that. "Aunt Mary is going to Gunnison. She has a boyfriend who lives there while he attends Western to finish his schooling, so they will be going to his family’s house." He could almost hear the sigh of relief she let out. Elliot knew that while Gemma liked his aunt and was grateful for her help, the last thing she needed was to see someone who had seen her at her absolute worst. Gemma had never been overly sensitive, never really falling to that stereotype placed upon girls, but in this regard, she would probably be very emotional. "Even if she was going to be around, she wouldn't do anything to cause you any distress. Mary is very good at her job and separating her private life from it."

"I know," she whispered, nearly falling into sadness.

"My mom is on a roll tonight. She's gonna call Caroline to find out anything she may need to bring or help make," Elliot said changing the subject. He wanted to take that tone of defeat from Gemma. "So maybe let your mom know so she can be prepared for Hurricane Grace."

Gemma laughed then, grateful for the change. "I will, though she'll probably take her up on the offers. My mom has always had help making the dinner and she doesn't really understand cooking small portions since the family is so large."

"That's good. My mom is crazy when it comes to food." They continued to laugh about their moms until sleep called them away no longer dwelling on the negative and the scary.

CHAPTER EIGHT

She sat in the small office lobby, her fingers twisting and turning over her sweater as she waited for the doctor to finally call her name. There was no one else in the lobby with her, thankfully, so she didn't feel foolish or as though she needed to hide. Her appointment was for 1:45. She had been early, extremely early, since she didn't like to be late to anything, but this, this she wanted to hurry and get to because she hoped that she could get there quick just so she could get it over with.

Unfortunately, just like with any other doctor, seeing a therapist proved the wait was about the same.

No one knew she was coming today. Not even Leigh or Elliot. She felt too uncomfortable talking about it to even attempt to mention it to either of them. In fact, just calling the number Dr. Lindley had given her was nerve-racking. But she did it, and now she sat, quietly, alone in the waiting room in an office near North Suburban Hospital, one of the last places she ever thought she'd go near again on her own, for a Dr. Jasmine Archuleta to finally call for her.

At least it was a woman.

Just as she thought she should have brought a book to read during her wait, the door opened.

"It was a good session. I'm glad your mom was able to attend earlier." A soft yet firm voice said. "You've come a long way. Do your homework and I'll see you next week."

"I'll talk to Jake too, see if he is still good with coming. Thanks, Dr. Archuleta."

Gemma looked up and felt the color drain from her face and her heart stutter. Standing in the doorway was none other than Trisha Scott. The older girl looked fragile, more delicate than Gemma could remember ever seeing her. And her blue eyes were red-rimmed. Her mind tried to catch up to the moment. When she was referred to this doctor, she was told Dr. Archuleta dealt primarily with young women who had gone through experiences similar to Gemma's. She was assured this woman understood how to handle her situation because she chose to work almost completely with girls and women like Gemma.

So if that was the case and Trisha was standing before her… she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Gemmalyn? You can come back now," Dr. Archuleta smiled as Trisha moved further into the lobby.

She stood up and came face-to-face with Trisha. "Hi, Gemma." The smile looked genuine but she was scared. She didn’t know Trisha, anything was possible here. "I uh, I didn't expect to see you here."

The situation was beyond awkward. Not only was she currently in the office of a shrink, but she was also standing in front of Trisha Scott, head cheerleader, Skyview Queen, and Elliot's former crush. "Yeah, um, you either."

"Just want you to know, Dr. Archuleta is really good. So if you're feeling nervous or uncertain about anything, don't worry." Trisha didn't wait for a reply, she gently pat Gemma's shoulder and headed for the exit.

With a nod to no one, Gemma walked into the office to find an exotic looking woman sitting behind a desk, scribbling notes into a folder. She hesitantly took a seat across from the doctor. "I'll be just a moment." More notes were scribbled until a small smile appeared on the doctors painted pink lips. "Okay. Hello, Gemmalyn. I am Dr. Jasmine Archuleta. You can call me Jasmine, or Jas, or you can call me Dr. Archuleta. I have no preference. Whichever is easiest for you is fine by me."

"Okay," Gemma murmured. "Um, you can call me Gemma. Gemmalyn is such a mouth-f. And makes me feel like I’m in trouble with my parents."

"Gemma, okay then." The smile was still warm and inviting, like a blanket fresh out of the dryer warm. "I'm going to tell you a little about myself before we go any further, okay?" She just nodded. "Okay. Let's see. I am of Greek descent but married a Spaniard. I am a Sagittarius and will be celebrating my
third
twenty-ninth birthday in a couple weeks. I am married to my high school sweetheart and have two furbabies; Rosco and Purty, both Labs. I am originally from San Diego but my husband's parents moved here some time ago and his mother has taken ill so we made the move two years ago to help care for her and her now ailing husband. Oh, and I am terrified of heights but love skydiving. If you’ve never been and want to, there is a really great place in Longmont."

Gemma sat there for a moment, a little stunned at the onslaught of information. She wasn't entirely sure what had just been said, since there was so much, but she definitely knew she was slightly mystified by this woman before her. "Wow."

Dr. Archuleta just laughed. "It's okay. It's a trick I picked up from a professor. She said to hit your new patient with random information about you, make them stop to take time to process everything you just gave them and any nervousness they felt about coming in to see you will leave their mind because they are so absolutely befuddled by you, that whatever has them seeing you, almost is forced to take a backseat." Light brown eyes twinkled at her, the smile still present. Whatever was on her face, must have given the doctor the green light to continue. "I spoke with Jessica about your case. In fact, we spoke at great lengths about why I would be a good fit for you.

"I know you don't want to be here. Honestly, I don't want you to be here because by having you here, I know something bad has happened to you." Gemma was taken aback by the candidness. "I would wish to not have a job if it meant I didn't have to see people come in here like you. But I'll tell you this, I am very good at my job. I understand very well how to approach a situation like this. I've been there."

"What?" It was the first word she'd muttered, and it came out breathless.

"That's right. When I was in college, I was assaulted. It was by someone I thought was a friend, but it turns out he was anything but." The smile slipped momentarily. "When it happened, I was studying to be a marine biologist, being a San Diego girl made me love the ocean, but switched majors almost immediately. I spoke to that same professor who gave me the advice, and that's what she did to me. Baffled me with ridiculous things about her until my tears stopped and my mind was too confounded by her to drown in what had happened to me."

"I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to have nightmares about it anymore." Gemma hadn't realized it until the tear fell down her cheek and hit the back of her hand that she was silently crying. "I want to have a normal life again."

"You will. We will work through your fears, work through everything that scares you or worries you. Okay?"

She was there for an hour. She was there for an hour, speaking with a stranger who didn't feel like a stranger, about the moments leading up to her attack. Dr. Archuleta didn't want their first session to be about that moment. She wanted Gemma to trust her before they reached that pinnacle. Still, she was there for an hour, and by the time she was walking out the door, Gemma was the one with red-rimmed eyes, and a promise to see the doctor next week.

As she sat for the cab ride home, Gemma thought back over the conversation. It was a Tuesday, and Thanksgiving was in two days. She had briefly touched on the holiday, explaining to the doctor her sadness at the plans having to be changed because she wasn't okay. For Gemma, even though Elliot and his family were going to be joining hers, she still felt like her parents and sister were sacrificing so much by not being able to fly back to Austin as was the initial plan. And it didn't matter how many times she was told otherwise.

Dr. Archuleta spoke for ten minutes explaining her first holiday with family after her attack. No one had known about her incident. She had tried to keep everything a secret, even from her boyfriend – now husband - as the guy had been his friend too. Even though she had gone to the police, and he was being investigated, she hadn't found the strength to let anyone else know. In the end, she had a nervous breakdown when her parents asked why her attacker/friend hadn't been invited to dinner as he usually was. In the middle of her panic, she called her professor who helped her to tell her family and boyfriend, over Easter dinner, no less, what had happened to her. After that, Gemma felt a little better. Especially since all but two members of the dinner party knew. She still wasn't sure about Elliot's dad knowing, but it was better than having to wonder if she was acting weird around him to try to not make him think something had happened.

Still, Gemma knew it was going to be difficult being around Grace. And she didn't even know how things were going to be with Christie around. Especially since the two hadn't spoken in two months.

As the taxi parked in front of the driveway, Gemma couldn't help but smile at seeing Elliot sitting on the hood of his car, waiting for her. Jumping out of the backseat after quickly handing off her payment, she moved to walk to him, but was stopped by his body crushing against hers, holding her in a tight hug.

"I was so worried about you," he breathed with a tremble. "I waited for you to call all day, since you said you would, but when I didn't hear from you, I tried calling you, but your phone kept going to voicemail and you weren't responding to my texts." He stopped to take a breath, his heart hammering in his chest. He was so relieved to see her, so grateful to feel her. "I called your house and your mom told me that you were at the library, so I went but you weren’t there. Where'd you go?"

She shook her head against his chest. She had done it again. She'd lied about her destination, out of fear and shame, but just like the night that put her in this place, she knew she couldn't keep things from people. "I um, I went to see a therapist today."

Elliot froze for a second, his mind pushing the words around. "What?"

"I called that therapist Dr. Lindley recommended to me. I had an appointment with her today. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone." She pulled away to look at him, to show her sincerity. "I was afraid if people knew, I would chicken out and not go. Then I was ashamed that I needed to speak with someone because I still have nightmares and am still afraid of everything."

"No, Gemma, you have nothing to be ashamed of." He caressed her face, his hands cupping her cheeks. In that moment, he wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her. He could feel his entire body tingle with the need to feel her lips against his, to know what it felt like to be that close to her. But he couldn't. Especially not after she'd just had a therapy session. So he relaxed his hands to her shoulders with a shaky breath. "You are so strong, sweetheart. I am so proud of you for going. I do wish you would have said something. I feel…I feel uneasy when I don't know where you are or if you're okay."

"I won't keep anything from you anymore," she promised.

For a second, he thought about asking her about her feelings for him. He wondered if she still had any. And since she'd just said she wouldn't keep anything from him, maybe that would count too? But again, she didn't need to be put on the spot and he didn't need to face any rejection were she to no longer carry a torch for him. So he stopped the thought that wanted to leave his heart, and instead just nodded. "Good. Now, tell me. How did it go?"

They walked inside her house, where Gemma saw her family waiting for her. "You didn't go to the library, did you?" her father asked immediately, his voice laced with sadness and a layer of frustration.

"No, daddy. I didn't."

“You can’t
do
things like that, Gemma. You have no idea how terrified it makes me, makes
all
of us when you say one thing, but do another,” Andrew said tiredly. “We don’t want anything to happen to you. Not again.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

Nodding, Andrew sighed. “Alright. We heard you saw a therapist. Tells us how it went.”

As she and Elliot sat down on the sofa, she began her tale of her day and why she kept it a secret. By the time she was finished, everyone had tempered their concern at her keeping the secret, and instead were glad she had decided to seek help. Her father still reprimanded her for going off on her own, but gave her a hug at the end of it. And Caroline told her she would drive her for her next appointment. She was still in trouble, but not serious trouble, especially since it wasn’t like there was anything they could punish her with. She didn’t socialize at the moment, and she cared little for gadgets or television.

After that, the five sat down to dinner of homemade pizzas and mozzarella sticks, chatting about their individual days, and deciding on how to spend the next day.

"So, we'll be over around noon on Thursday. Your mom told my mom that dinner will be served at two and my mom wants to be here early to help." Elliot was standing at his car door, leaning back again it. Just as with earlier in the day, the urge to kiss Gemma was overwhelming. He wanted nothing more than to pull her to him, wrap his arms around her, and brush his lips against hers, tasting her sweetness. The longing was so powerful that as he started thinking about how wonderful it would be, he felt a stirring in his groin, alerting him that he was letting his thoughts get too far. He didn't want Gemma to notice him like that. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough, that was the last thing Gemma needed to be confronted with. Clearing his throat, he stood and tugged his jacket down as much as he could get it. "I uh, I should probably get going. It's getting colder. You should get inside." He smiled at her to let her believe everything was normal for him. "But I'll call you."

She nodded with a smile. "Okay. I'll be waiting."

As he drove home, his thoughts were scattered. One part of him desperately wanted to turn his car around and rush back to Gemma, sweep her in his arms, and kiss her deeply. But another part of him understood that he couldn't do anything even close to that. And the problem with his thoughts, even if Gemma hadn't been attacked, he still couldn't do what he wanted because of how he acted before. His feelings may no longer go anywhere toward Trisha Scott, but it didn't change the fact that he had, very publicly, shown how much he wanted her-regardless of how foolish that want was. If he were to go to Gemma now, it wouldn't seem like the truth because he knew Gemma. He knew how she thought. So he had to make it his mission to make her change those thoughts, as well as help her heal toward maybe one day finding her feelings for him again.