Authors: Debra Doxer
“Maybe, but it still wasn’t right
to lie to me. Not about something so important.”
I nod and I do agree with him. If I
were in his place I would probably feel the same way.
“But I want you to know that
despite the way I acted, I really am pretty easy-going most of the time. That
night.” He pauses, seeming to search for the right words. “That night, I was
feeling a little off balance with you, I think.” He grins and glances down.
A warm feeling flows through me
because his expression leads me to believe that he liked the off balance
feeling I caused.
“Because the way I reacted was
really an anomaly.”
I chuckle at him. “An anomaly?”
He nods.
“Not all of it, I hope.”
He raises his eyebrows in question.
I give him a sly smile. “There were
some parts earlier in the evening that I hope weren’t anomalies.”
“Ah, I see. You mean when we did
this?” His smile fades as his hand moves up my arm to my shoulder and around
the back of my neck to pull me in for a kiss. There’s nothing slow or tentative
about this kiss. Our tongues immediately tangle as Ryan moves his hand up to
the back of my head so he can press my mouth harder against his. But it’s not
enough. I want my whole body pressed against him. My hands grasp the front of
his sweater and fist it into bunches.
“Let’s get the car,” he whispers
into my mouth.
I nod, and before I realize it he
has me up and moving back toward the restaurant valet stand. The ride home is
far too slow despite how fast Ryan is driving. We’re barely through my front
door when he pulls me to him and captures my mouth again. We never make it
upstairs to the bedroom as our clothes are quickly discarded, and without
breaking apart we stumble over to the couch in the living room.
Ryan lowers me down onto the cushions and covers my body with his. He molds
himself to me, and we fit together perfectly in all the right places.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers
as he trails kisses down my neck.
“So are you.” I run my hands down
the firm muscles of his smooth back and then I flutter them lower, urging him
on, showing him what I want. Our first night together is a perfect combination
of pent-up urgency, pure satisfaction, and slow gratification.
We manage to move upstairs at some
point, and he falls asleep long before I do. Lying in his arms, my mind wanders
back to the first time I met Ryan after our car accident and then to the other
times that followed. Soon I find the smooth jazz music he likes to listen to in
his car running through my head. When I first heard those songs, they didn’t
seem to have a distinctive melody. Initially, I only heard disorganized tones
rising and falling aimlessly. But as the music washed over me, I relaxed into
it, enjoying the calm notes that flowed past me seamlessly before rising into
unexpected crescendos and bursts of sound that hit a sweet spot I hadn’t even
realized was there.
“Have you seen my watch?”
I glance up to find Ryan standing
bare-chested in the middle of my living room peering around at the floor as he
rushes a hand through his hair causing it to stand on end for a moment before
falling back down again. My eyes roam the smooth skin that ripples over his
chest and stomach as my hands tingle with the memory of touching of him there.
“It’s got to be here somewhere,” he
mutters.
I give myself a mental shake before
I begin pulling the couch cushions up. “Got it,” I announce, holding up the
familiar thick, silver timepiece filled with dials.
He smiles at me and rewards me with
a breathtaking kiss. It has been an amazing evening and morning. Waking up in
Ryan’s arms felt absolutely right. Everything about the way things have gone
with him since Wes’ unexpected appearance has been exhilarating and just easy
with no misunderstandings or reasons for insecurity. This is how it should be.
But it almost didn’t happen, and I can’t stop thinking about that.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything.” Ryan is
picking up the rest of his clothes which were discarded on the floor last
night. He pulls his shirt on over his head, carelessly smoothes his hair back,
and turns his attention to me. Suddenly, with those intelligent hazel
eyes intent on mine, I develop stage fright.
“What is it?” he asks, my hesitation
making him curious.
Just as I’m about to speak, I’m
lifted off my feet. I feel Ryan turn with me in his arms and I land in his lap
on the couch. The flimsy T-shirt I threw on this morning has made its way up to
the top of my thighs. His warm hand rests on my bare leg, and he begins rubbing
it gently, making small circles just above my knee. My brain is now too
scrambled to form a coherent thought.
“This is my lucky couch.” Ryan
smirks at me as he runs his other hand over the couch cushion.
I grin back at him. “I’m pretty
fond of this couch myself.”
His hand moves from the cushion to
my lower back. “Go on. Ask me.”
I take a breath and decide to tell
him what’s on my mind. “If Wes hadn’t shown up here that night, would I have
ever heard from you again?”
He eyes me silently, and I can see
he’s processing my question. Then he leans his head back into the cushion. “I
wanted to call you.”
After an extended silence, I prompt
him. “But… ”
“But… ” he lifts his head and
watches me as he continues. “I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.”
I nod, remembering his words from
the night he came to get Wes. “You thought I hated you.”
“Something like that.”
“So, I guess we owe Wes a lot.”
“You’re unhappy with my answer,” he
states with a knowing frown.
I shrug. “I could have called you,
too, and I didn’t.”
“But I’m the guy. So, I should have
called you and taken my chances,” he says, voicing my exact thoughts.
“If you were really interested, you
could have done that.” I cringe slightly, afraid I’ve pushed it too far.
“You think I wasn’t interested?”
I can read the surprise in his
expression, and I feel the need to make him understand that I believe I’m at
fault, too. “I just mean that you might not have been all that interested in
the paranoid girl who was making a mountain out of a mole hill.”
His eyes crinkle at the edges as
his smirk reappears. “I never thought of you as the paranoid girl.” He lightly
runs the back of his fingers along my arm. “You have to understand what my life
is like right now. Work is beyond crazy and it’s easy to just get lost in it.
That’s what I do most of the time. When I told the guys at the office that I
was leaving early because I had a date the first time we went out to dinner,
you could have knocked them over with a feather. I never leave the office
early, not for women, not for anything.”
“So there have been women?” I ask
before I can think better of it.
He arches a brow at me.
“Of course there have been women,”
I quickly add. When Wes showed up that night and assumed I was Ryan’s
girlfriend, I figured he hadn’t seen Ryan date anyone other than me. But look
at him. How could that be true?
An amused grin lights his
face and only fades slightly before he answers. “Honestly, not lately and
nothing serious. Nothing serious in a very long time. What about you? When I
first asked you out over lunch, I was sure you’d tell me you had a boyfriend.”
I shake my head. “Same as you.
Nothing serious in a long time.”
“How is that possible?”
“You mean because I’m just so
awesome?” I joke because I know exactly how possible it is.
But he doesn’t laugh in response.
His hand moves up over my neck to the back of my head. Then he pulls me to him
and gently touches his lips to mine. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he says. He
releases me and leans back into the couch again.
I blink him into focus and find
myself laughing. “You’re going to take some getting used to.”
His answering smile is dazzling.
“Should I continue?” he asks.
I feel warmth pooling inside me
just thinking about him continuing. I nod and look at his lips.
“I mean continue with my
explanation,” he clarifies dryly.
I nod again and chuckle, noticing
that he’s looking at my lips, too.
He clears his throat, and his eyes
meet mine. “I was out of practice when it comes to dating and I thought I blew
it. I blew it when it really counted, and I tried not to think about what an
ass I’d been. The last thing I wanted to do was bother you when I was sure you
wanted nothing to do with me. But I want you to know that I was always
interested. I was interested from the first moment I saw you.”
“You were?”
“I wasn’t sorry for hitting you
with my car.”
My eyes widen at him.
“Of course, I’m glad you didn’t get
hurt,” he says quickly. “I’m also glad my brother’s ill-conceived plan to run
away from home gave us a second chance. I’m going to try my best not to blow it
again.”
I bring my hand up to his face and
run it across his rough cheek. “Me, too.”
Then I lean up and softly press my
mouth to his. He gently returns my kiss and we continue with this slow, steady
pace until I feel Ryan’s arms tighten around my back at the same time he
deepens the kiss and presses me against his chest. A familiar pressure
builds inside me, and I’m about to ask him if he really has to go into the
office today since it’s Sunday. That’s why we’re not still in bed this morning.
Ryan is working seven days a week to finish a project for an impatient
customer. But I don’t voice that thought. I can’t have him thinking I’m going
to be complaining about his work schedule. He’s trying to build a company. I
need to be understanding of that.
We both break away at the same
time. As I’m catching my breath, Ryan scrubs his hands over his face. “If I
don’t leave now, it’s not going to happen.”
I ignore the desire to help him play
hooky, and I slide off his lap. “We can’t have you slacking. What will the guys
at the office think?” I tease.
He cocks his head at me, and I get
the feeling he expected me to react differently. Like maybe he assumed I’d try
coercing him into staying, and I wonder if he wanted me to. As he stands,
he offers me a lopsided grin. “They’ll think I finally got laid.”
“Excuse me?” I ask.
He shrugs innocently.
I laugh and shake my head. “You
don’t seriously talk about that stuff at your office. Do you?”
“We’re a bunch of geeky
programmers. Our topics of conversation are limited to Star Trek and the sex we
wish we were having.” He closes the distance between us and places his
hands on my shoulders. “But you have effectively removed one of those topics
from my conversation.”
I very much doubt he would ever be
lacking for sex, and I’m about to make a joke about Trekkies when he leans down
and sweeps his lips over mine. I feel his hands move to either side of my face
as he runs his tongue along my bottom lip, coaxing my mouth to open. My body
relaxes into his, leaning against him for support. Just as I’m sinking into the
sensation of being completely surrounded and consumed by Ryan, he abruptly
breaks away.
“Gotta go,” he says, making sure
I’m steady on my feet before taking a step back and watching me.
The glint in his eye tells me the
longing I’m feeling at this moment is exactly what he intended. He wants to
make sure I’m very sorry to see him leave. He’s wearing a cocky grin as he
calls back to me over his shoulder on his way to the door. “See you later,
Andrea.”
Once I’m showered and dressed, I
call Laura.
“How was your date last night?” she
asks with no greeting at all, as usual.
“Since it just ended, I’d say it
went pretty well.”
“Yeah!”
She yells so loudly, I have to pull
the phone away from my ear. I feel a little pathetic that the fact I had a good
date elicits this kind of response. But in all honesty, I want to yell about
it, too. I’m feeling restless and giddy, and I hardly know what to do with myself.
“Tell me everything,” Laura says.
So I tell her every single thing.
“Wow,” she whispers.
“Yeah, wow.”
“He sounds like he’s really into
you.”
“I know. Can you believe it?”
Laura immediately fires back at me.
“Of course, I believe it. Why would you say that?”
“It’s not a self-esteem thing,” I
say. “At least, I don’t think it is. It’s just that no guy has ever talked to
me this way before. He’s being completely straightforward about his interest in
me.”
“And what? That’s making it hard
for you to believe him?” she asks incredulously.
I shake my head at myself. “No.
Maybe. That would be ridiculous, right?”
She sighs. “It’s not ridiculous,
Andy. What’s ridiculous is that no other guy has ever been this terrific
to you. If your instincts are telling you to trust him and what he’s telling
you, then do it. Don’t let any insecurities mess with your head on this. Okay?”
“I’m not planning on screwing this
up,” I reply, and I feel a tension I hadn’t even known I’d been carrying
release a little. “Believe me, unless his wife and kids show up at my door,
nothing is going to prevent me from seeing where this goes with Ryan.”
She giggles. “Oh god. Let’s not go
there.”
“With my luck, would that really
surprise you?”
“I’m changing the subject now. When
can I meet him? Let’s double date.”
“No way. It’s too new, and I want
to keep him to myself for a while. Not a word to Mom and Dad,” I warn.
“Okay,” she agrees sounding
disappointed. “What are you doing today? Come over and we can talk about Ryan
some more.”
“I need to go to the pet store and
the dry cleaners, but then I can come by.” I hear the call-waiting sound in my
ear. “I’ve got another call, Laura. Hold on.” I click over and I’m happily
surprised to hear Ryan’s voice.