Authors: Kate Hanney
***
Later that afternoon, we had to go down to the offices at Youth Offending. Billy’s worker was off or something, so Martin saw us both.
‘I need to ensure you both understand the conditions of your orders,’ he said. ‘Firstly, you must attend twenty five hours of education a week.’
‘What?’ Me and Billy nearly choked.
‘It doesn’t all have to be in school. I’ve spoken to your Head of Year, and we’ve agreed on a programme; two full days in school and three days on a vocational placement.’
‘What’s that mean?’ I asked.
‘It’s somewhere away from school where you learn practical skills instead of studying academic subjects. Other young people on these kinds of programmes learn about construction, mechanics, catering, things like that.’
Mmm, that didn’t sound too bad, but
twenty five hours?
Martin looked at some notes he’d written down in a folder. ‘Your seven PM until seven AM curfews continue for another six months. It’s vital you stick to these, lads, if you don’t it’ll mean you get breached. Then you’ll have to go back to court, and you heard what the judge said would happen then, didn’t you? The condition regarding you not having any contact has been dropped, because obviously you’re in the same class at school.’
He glanced at his notes again. ‘Oh, yes; then there’s the unpaid work ... you might have heard it called Community Service in the past? He’s included it because you’re both sixteen now. It means you have to do jobs to help out in the community: litter picking, gardening, cleaning up local parks and woodland etcetera.’
Billy spluttered. I felt exactly the same about it, but the look of complete horror on his face still made me smile.
‘And that’s about it,’ Martin said. ‘Oh, except you have to report here twice a week as well. We’ll sort the unpaid work out later. I think our priority is to arrange these vocational placements. Now, what would you prefer to do?’
I let Billy go first – it didn’t really matter to me; I’d go with whatever he said.
‘Mechanics,’ Billy said quickly.
‘Yeah, me as well.’ I said.
‘And what about a second choice, if the mechanics’ course is full?’
‘Construction,’ we said together.
He smiled. ‘OK, I’ll see what I can do. Let me make some phone calls.’
We went to wait in reception while he did that.
‘Litter pickin’, what’s he on about?’ Billy flopped down into a blue plastic chair. ‘An’ when are we gonna fit it in, when we’ve got to be doin’ all that other stuff all week?’ He got his lighter out and started flicking it on and off.
‘Can you put that away please?’ The woman behind the desk looked over at us.
Billy stared at her, then he lifted it up higher, flicked it on again and left the flame burning.
She reached for the phone.
‘Put it away,’ I said quietly.
He glanced at me.
‘I mean it; stop tryin’ to piss her off.’
He thought about it for a second, then sighed and put the lighter back in his pocket.
‘Look,’ I said, leaning closer to him. ‘If somebody’d offered us litter pickin’ at ten o’clock this mornin’, we’d have bit their hand off, right? Think about it; remember where we’d be now if it’d gone different.’
We sat there in silence for a couple more minutes before Martin shouted us back through.
‘It’s been a bit of a struggle to find you anything, boys.’ He sat in his wheely chair and spun it one way then the other with his feet. ‘It must’ve suddenly got busy after Christmas – mechanics and construction are both full, as is catering, and even horticulture. But I have managed to find somewhere that can take you both for three days a week.’
‘Go on?’ I said.
‘Don’t forget, it’s a condition of your order; it counts towards your twenty five hours of education.’
‘Just tell us,’ Billy snapped.
‘Equine studies.’
‘What?’ Me and Billy had got to stop doing that.
‘Equine studies,’ he repeated. ‘Learning how to look after horses.’
6 – Anna
As soon as I looked at Mum as she waited to collect me from school, I knew she’d spoken to Ms Welbourne. Mum’s face had set like a sphinx. Her grip on the steering wheel had turned her knuckles white, and her breathing was shallow.
I opened the car door slowly and got in. I felt her staring at me, but I kept my head down; I knew exactly what her eyes would look like anyway, without having to actually see them.
‘I can’t believe you lied to us.’
I stayed quiet.
‘I can’t believe you sat there and told me you hadn’t received those science results, when all along you had. Do you know how embarrassed I felt this afternoon when Ms Welbourne called? It’s disappointing enough you got that score, but for you to have lied about it so blatantly ...’
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her shake her head for far longer than she needed to. Then she tutted, shook her head again and said, ‘And what on earth Dad will say, I’ve no idea.’
My hands buried into the seat underneath my legs and I sat on them. I felt sick and hot, and wanted to ask if I could turn the heater off – but I didn’t.
We drove on in silence until we reached the driveway up to the house. Becky, who worked for us, was leading a horse in from one of the fields, and she waved at Mum to stop just before we went past.
Mum lowered her window. ‘Yes, Becky?’
Becky’s expression showed her surprise at the abruptness.
Mum shook her head again quickly. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘It’s just been one of those days. What can I do for you?’
‘It’s nothing important. It’s just, you remember that work experience programme we signed up for? Well they phoned earlier; they’ve got a couple of lads who can start after the weekend.’
‘Oh, good. Do you know anything about them – where they live, which schools they’re from?’
‘No, they’re going to send me some paperwork through.’
‘Right. Like we said though, they mustn’t be left unsupervised in the office, or the tack-room; not anywhere where there’s money or valuables.’
Becky nodded.
There was a loud click as Mum pulled the handbrake on. ‘I wanted to see you today anyway, Becky. Annabel’s new horse is arriving on Monday; we’re going to collect her straight after school. Can you make sure you have a stable ready? I thought to begin with she’d be better off down on the yard rather than up at the house.’
‘Yes, of course; no problem. Do we need to buy in any particular feed?’
‘Oh, I never asked. I’ll email them and let you know.’ She released the handbrake again, and called, ‘Bye,’ over her shoulder as we set off.
Mum drove on without speaking until we pulled into the garage next to the house, and my insides jarred as I saw Dad’s car already there.
He was in his office when we first walked in, but she quickly drew him out to the entrance to the lounge.
‘Andrew. We need to talk to Annabel, urgently.’
Dad looked at her, then me, then back at her. ‘Why, whatever’s the matter?’
She explained the whole situation in detail; I stood silently by the fireplace and ran my fingers along the cold, smooth marble.
When she’d finished, Dad glared at me.
‘That’s really disappointing, Annabel. Whatever made you lie to your mother like that?’
I stared down at the hearth. ‘I don’t know, it’s just ...’
‘And apart from that, how did you end up getting such a low grade in the first place; what went wrong there?’
‘I’m sorry. I tried, honest ... and I know it could’ve been better, but ... well it is still a B, it –’
‘Only just,’ Mum said. ‘A few marks lower and it wouldn’t have even been that. We’ve talked about it, Annabel; you know the universities we’ve looked at won’t consider you with those results.’
It was quiet for a second, then Dad said, ‘So, how are we going to make sure things get better in the future?’
Was he asking me? It seemed like it, so I fixed my eyes on his. ‘I’m not sure what else I can do, Dad. I study and study and revise really hard. But then I get all stressed and it all seems to vanish once I’m in an exam.’
‘Well, you need to be telling us that then, don’t you, not covering it up? How are we supposed to help you improve your grades if we don’t even know you’re having a difficult time? Perhaps some extra tuition would be a good idea, on exam technique and so on?’
Mum stepped towards him. ‘That’s just what I thought, Andrew. In fact, while I was on the phone to Ms Welbourne, I asked if she’d be interested in giving Annabel some private tuition in the evenings.’
I actually gasped out loud. ‘Mum! You didn’t?’
‘I certainly did. And she agreed it was an excellent idea.’
My hand left the marble and I bit into my thumbnail. ‘W ... what did she say?’
‘She’s considering it. Apparently, she already has other commitments, and it has to be discussed with the Headteacher, but if she can possibly fit it in she will. She’s going to let me know one way or the other by the beginning of next week.’
I breathed out. There was still some hope then; but I knew it couldn’t be more than a sliver, and I knew I had to make an effort to change their minds. ‘Mum, the thing is, I don’t really get on with Miss Welbourne. We ... she –’
‘It’s not about personalities, Annabel. She’s got a reputation for being a first class teacher – that’s what’s important.’ Dad put his hand in his pocket and leaned against the doorframe. ‘And if she can’t find the time, I still think we should look into finding someone else who can. How are you doing in your other subjects? Is it just science you’re struggling with?’
It was so tempting to nod, but Dad’s look forced me to swallow and say, ‘Well, science is the worst. I’m doing really well in English – I got an A-star for my last controlled assessment ... ICT is quite hard at the moment though, and maths can be a bit difficult at times ...’
He sighed, and Mum shook her head for the tenth time in half an hour.
‘We’ll talk about it again when we know whether Ms Welbourne can help or not. For now, I think you ought to go to your room, Annabel.’ Dad turned away and went back to his office.
Mum twitched her nose, then looked at me in the same way she’d look at a dress that went into the washing machine white, and came out grey. She picked up her copy of
Hello
, and set off for the conservatory.
‘You didn’t go,’ I said quietly, making her stop and face me.
‘Pardon?’
‘To university.’
‘What’s that got to do with anything?’
‘Well, it’s just, you know ... you’ve managed without it; maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t go either ... maybe it’s not all that important?’
‘Of course it’s important. It’s more important now than ever. The better your education, the better the people you mix with, and the better the people, the better contacts and opportunities you have.’
‘But you didn’t.’
‘Annabel, I didn’t need to – although I’m sure I could have if I’d chosen to. But I married your father, moved in here and had you. Whatever I wanted, I had.’ She looked down at the magazine in her hand. ‘Of course, I was very outgoing and popular ...’ Her face softened a little as she looked up at me again. ‘Which is why it matters so much that you do well with your education, and which is why we get so concerned when you don’t.’
I wiped the tears from my eyes as I went up the stairs. What was wrong with me? Wasn’t there anything I could do properly? Why did me and the word disappointment have to appear in the same sentence all the time?
I pushed open my bedroom door and lay on my bed. It was dark outside by then, and I stared out through my window into the blackness. After a few minutes, I found a handkerchief and tried to dry up the tears, but they carried on flowing like a stream in April. So I opened the top drawer of my dressing table and took out the little magnet I kept in the corner.
We had an alarm system fitted in the house. All the windows and doors had sensors on them, and a loud chime sounded in the hallway whenever they were opened. But I’d learned long ago, that if you placed a magnet next to the sensor, it didn’t register that the door had been opened.
Once out on the balcony, I slipped over the railings, lowered myself down as far as I could, then dropped silently to the ground. Even as I ran towards Pepper’s stable, the tears started to slow, and by the time I flung my arms around his neck and snuggled my head into his fluffy white fur, my face was totally dry.
Oh, why couldn’t I just stay with him forever? Why did I have to go to school, have more tuition? Why did I have to have another horse?