Some Loves (13 page)

“I do. I
have
to believe that. It’s the only thing that makes Evan’s death bearable, knowing I’ll see him again someday. As for your grandparents, I know I didn’t know your grandpa but it was so clear, the way your grandma talked about him, that they shared this amazing love. I think some loves transcend time, some loves are just meant to last. So yes, I think they’re together again.”

“I think so too,” Noah said. “Grandma told me once that she wasn’t afraid to die. She knew Grandpa was waiting for her on the other side. I wish you could’ve met him, Grandpa, I mean. He was such a character. He and Grandma were such a perfect fit. It was so clear that even after all those years together, they were still in love. They held hands everywhere they went,” he said with a small smile.
“I can’t remember a time when he didn’t open a door for her. He still teased her about silly things, right up until the end.”

“That’s the kind of love I want,” I said without thinking. “One that’s just as strong in fifty years as it is now. Or better yet, even stronger fifty years from now.”

Noah cast a sideways glance at me and smiled. “I think that’s the kind of love everyone wants.”

“This is adorable,” I said as I scanned a pink sundress with mocha-colored polka dots.

“Well, I thought so,” the customer said with a smile. “You have so many nice items here. It’s my favorite place to shop.”

“Thank you,” I said as I finished ringing up her items. She’d purchased several and the bag I handed to her was fairly heavy.

When she was gone, I walked around straightening out the racks. They didn’t really need it. But it gave me something to do.

I had to agree with her. The items that we carried were topnotch. Mom had always been very selective when it came to taking items on consignment. She only accepted items if they were in excellent condition.

I pulled an outfit off the toddler rack. The leggings were pink leopard print and it had a faux pink suede jacket to match. It was absolutely adorable even if I couldn’t imagine where a toddler would wear such a thing.

Looking at it, I couldn’t help but picture a little blond haired, blue-eyed girl in it. Of course the eyes were a pale, sky-blue, just like Noah’s. I sighed and put the outfit back on the rack. I was getting a little ahead of myself. I had a habit of doing that. It was hard not to look at all of the adorable baby clothes and not think of babies…which made me think of Noah…and having a family with him.

Maybe someday.

Maybe.

But that day, if it happened, was still years and years away.

The thought put a smile on my face. It was something to look forward to. I was sure that when the time came, we’d have the best dressed kids in town.

I shook away the thought. Definitely getting ahead of myself. But daydreaming did help pass the time.

I helped half a dozen more customers as the clock ticked closer to closing time. After each one, I did my usual walk through, making sure everything was perfect. It gave me something to do. I was kneeling, straightening out a shoe display when the bells over the door chimed yet again.

All too often a customer came in minutes before closing. I tried not to grumble because every dollar they spent was a dollar we earned. I straightened up to my full height and plastered on a smile. I was ready to offer my assistance in helping the patron find what they needed quickly so that I could be on my way.

“I was wondering where you were,” Noah said as he began swerving around racks so that he could reach me. “I didn’t see you ducking down. The store looked empty.”

“What are you doing here?” I smiled when he leaned over and pressed a kiss onto my temple.

“I wanted to catch you before you left. I’m going to watch Drew’s game tonight. I wondered if you wanted to come along.”

Adelaide had been gone for a few weeks now.
Until today, Noah had been keeping things pretty low key. We either hung out at his house or my house but we hadn’t really gone out and done anything fun. I jumped at the chance now, hoping it meant he was finally feeling a little better.

“
That sounds like fun, I’d love to go. But I thought you were going with Ben?”

“I was but he had some issues with his computer and he lost a paper he was working on. It sounds like he has to start the whole thing over. In other words, he’s tied up tonight.”

“Sounds like I lucked out then.”

“Are you about ready to close up?” he asked. “We could go get a pizza first.”

I glanced at the clock. “Yes, your timing is perfect. Just give me a few minutes to close up. I’m starving.”

I pressed up on my tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. “And I’m really excited to finally be going on a date with you.”

He laughed quietly. “Yeah, it’s been awhile. I’m looking forward to it too.”

***

“I’m going to go get a bottle of water,” I told Noah. “Do you want me
to get you anything?”

He pulled his eyes away from the game to look at me. “I don’t need anything. Do you want me to come with you though?”

His gaze drifted back to the field and I gave his knee a pat.

“I wouldn’t want you to miss the game. I’ll be right back.”

He quickly gave me a grateful smile and then returned his attention to the players again. We were up by two runs but there were still three innings left. He’d been tense through the whole game. I knew it had to be hard for him to sit in the stands when he felt like he should be playing. I was mentally keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that next year, he’d be down on the field where he belonged.

I hurried down the steps and headed toward the concession stand that was nestled under the bleachers.
I was relieved that the line wasn’t too long.

“Emory!” I turned around at the sound of my name.
The voice, though I hadn’t heard it in a while, was all too familiar.

“Caleb, hey,” I said. “How are you?”
My stomach did a flip flop at the sight of him. I didn’t want to admit that I missed him, but I did. He was wearing his chocolaty brown hair in a spiky style. His cologne was the same though; the scent of it was familiar. So was his smile, and the warm look he had in his eye as he moved in close to me.

“I’
m good,” he said. “I haven’t seen you in awhile. I just wanted to say ‘hello’ and see how you’ve been.”

“I’m great,” I said. “Just here with Noah.”

“Ah,” he said as he gave me a knowing nod. “I’m here with Paul but I saw you walking down the steps so I’ve been trying to catch up to you.”

“Okay
.” The single word was filled with a question. It seemed strange to me that he’d run after me.

“Could we talk for a minute?” he asked.
He shuffled his feet, as if he was nervous. That was very unlike him. Maybe he realized that talking wasn’t such a great idea.

“I don
’t think so. I’m here with Noah,” I repeated. I hoped that was explanation enough. I’d made a promise to Noah to keep my distance from Caleb. I wanted to keep that promise.

“It’s about Evan,” he said.
His expression had turned serious. “It’ll just take a minute.”

“Evan?” That got my attention.

He glanced around at the crowd that was swarming us. I didn’t protest when he grabbed my elbow and led me to the alcove under the stairs.

“I got a call from Dylan the other day,” Caleb said.

“McNamara?” I asked.

“Yeah. You know he and Evan rented a house together for awhile?”

“Yes,” I said. Dylan had been one of Evan’s best friends. Along with Caleb, the three of them had been inseparable for awhile. However, the year after they graduated high school Evan and Dylan had enrolled at a Tech school on the other end of the state.

“He found a box of stuff that belonged to Evan. He said he must’ve grabbed it by mistake. He and his wife just bought a new house so he pulled a bunch of stuff out of storage. Anyhow, he was wondering if you would want it. He said it’s mostly old clothes but there are some photos, some old CDs, movies, just a bunch of random stuff,” Caleb explained.

“There are pictures? Of Evan?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Caleb said as he reached up to rub my shoulder. “
It sounds like a lot of pictures, a couple of envelopes full. You okay?”

I nodded
but I felt my hands begin to shake. “I’d like to see what’s in the box. I really want to see those pictures.”

“I thought you would. I’ve been putting off giving you a call because I didn’t know when it would be a good time. And I know now is probably not the best time either, but I wasn’t sure when I’d run into you again,” he said.
He had an edge of accusation to his tone. I was sure he knew that I’d been avoiding him.

“Now’s fine,” I said unconvincingly. My stomach was in knots. It was going to be hard to go back up to the bleachers and try to act like nothing was wrong.
His words were like a mental kick. Pictures. Of Evan. A box full of his things. It was information I had not been expecting and I felt a bit blindsided.

“So Dylan’s coming for a visit sometime next month. It’s his parents’ anniversary or something. He can bring it then o
r I could go pick it up,” Caleb offered. “I was going to ask if you’d want to come with me, but I decided that’s probably not a good idea.”

“Probably not,” I agreed.
I wasn’t entirely sure where Dylan was living now but I did know it was nowhere near here. That much time alone with Caleb was definitely a bad idea. Yet I was anxious to get my hands on the pictures. It felt like some small, lost part of him was floating around out there. I didn’t want to make Caleb go so far out of his way to get them for me. “I can wait until Dylan gets back to town.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. His voice was full of concern.
“He did offer to mail it but said it would probably cost a small fortune.”

I nodded and tried to force a smile. “
I’ll wait, it will give me something to look forward to.”

He eye
d me warily.

“Really,” I assured him, “it’s fine.
It might be nice to have a little bit of time to prepare myself.” Looking at old photo albums was still hard. I’d been through them all several times. I knew what they held. New pictures at this point felt like a priceless gift.

He nodded slowly. “Other than that, how are you doing? I mean really, how are you? Are things going good with Noah? Are you happy?”

Am I happy?

Leave it to Caleb to jump in with the awkward questions.

“I am,” I admitted.

“Good,” he said with a sharp nod. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

“What about you?” I asked.

“What about me?”

“Are you happy? Are you seeing anyone? How are you really doing?” I asked as I gave his shoulder a nudge. I was curious. If I didn’t ask him now, I wasn’t sure when or if I’d have the chance again.

“I’m good, too,” he said with a smirk.

I realized then what a generic, unhelpful answer that really was. I rolled my eyes at him in irritation. Our first chance in forever to have an actual conversation and he was choosing to be sarcastic. Not that I was really surprised. After I’d been avoiding him, I could hardly expect him to act as though things were fine between us.

He laughed. “No worries here. I do miss seeing you once in awhile though.”

“Caleb—”

“No,” he said as he cut me off. “I get it.
I just wish things could be different. I miss talking with you.”

“I miss that too. No one else knew Evan quite like you did.”

“So, hey, when Dylan gets to town, I’ll give you a call. I can go with you to get Ev’s stuff. I can go through it with you too, if that would be easier.” He paused, probably noting the hesitation on my face. “Or not. Whatever you want. Just let me know. It’s up to you. I just want you to know I can be there if you need me.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” I said.

“Am I interrupting something?” Noah asked.

I spun around to face him. “Noah!”

“Yeah, hi.” He looked from me to Caleb and back again. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I said
quickly. “We were just talking.”

“Under the stairs?” he asked.

“I just needed to talk to Emory for a minute. It’s a little quieter here,” Caleb said as he backed away.

“More private, you mean?” Noah demanded.

“Okay,” Caleb said. I could tell he was trying to keep his irritation in check. “I’m out of here. Emory, let me know what you decide, okay?”

“Sure,” I said. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem. Later.” He left without a backward glance.

Noah turned back to me. “So what’s this about?”

“We were just talking. How…how did you know where to find me?” As soon as the words were out, I realized it was probably the wrong thing to say.

“Why, did you not want to be found? Because if that’s the case, then you shouldn’t meet with Caleb in such a public place.”
His tone and his stance had become accusing and I didn’t appreciate it.

“I didn’t meet with him. I was getting a bottle of water and I happened to run into him. I didn’t know he was here.
”

“Where’s your water?” Noah asked.

“I didn’t get that far,” I said in exasperation.

“Really? Because you’ve been gone for a while. I was starting to get worried. Melanie said she saw you down here talking to someone so I got curious,” he said.

“He wanted to let me know that Dylan, a friend of his and Evan’s, found a box of stuff that had belonged to Evan. That’s what we were talking about. He pulled me back here so we could have a little bit of privacy,” I explained.

Noah eyed me warily.

Noah!” I exclaimed. “You can’t think that there was any more to it than that.”

“I don’t want to think anything,” he said. “But when I find you hiding away, under the stairs with…him…?”

“He cornered me here because he knows I’ve been avoiding him. If you want the truth, that’s it. This is the first time I’ve seen him in weeks. He just wanted a minute to talk to me. He wanted to know if I wanted the box. He offered to drive to Dylan’s to get it for me. It has…” My voice began to tremble and I cut myself off so I could pull in a breath. “The box has a lot of pictures of Ev. Probably pictures I’ve never seen before. Pictures that I didn’t even know existed.”