Solving for Ex (16 page)

“Now that I’ve kissed the ground you walk on,

Let me treat you like a princess on your birthday.”

My brain told me to roll my eyes, but my heart flopped around in my chest. And, damn me, a smile took over my face. I must have looked like an idiot. Yet here I was, standing in a chocolate-studded prep school hallway, holding a romantic note from the cutest guy in school. A guy who really liked me, who was begging me to let him throw me a party.

Yeah, okay. Of course I was smiling.

“What do you think?” He stepped even closer to me, but still didn’t touch me.

“Just a small party?”

“Small. I swear.”

“Like, less than fifty people?”

“I was thinking less than a hundred.”

I rolled my eyes, still smiling. Then I looked up in his. God, they were on fire. They set my insides on fire a little too. I sighed. “Fine. Yes.”

“She said yes!” Vincent pushed both his fists up in the air and turned a little circle in a victory dance right there in the hallway. The Mathletes exploded into applause, and someone even let forth a wolf whistle. I laughed and, without even thinking, stepped forward and hugged him around the neck, standing on my tiptoes a little to do it.

“Really?” he said in my ear, so low only I could hear it. I stepped back and dropped my arms. I shrugged.

“Sure, why not? Remember? You said it’d be good for me. Enjoy stuff.”

He smiled and slung his arm around my shoulder, letting his forearm dangle off of it. We walked back toward the crowd of Mathletes. It didn’t feel too bad, walking arm in arm with this guy. Not too bad at all.

Until I saw Brendan, staring at me like I’d just punched him in the gut.

But something like defiance rose up in me. Brendan wasn’t my boyfriend. He was still paying attention to me. Why did I even have a problem with Sofia touching his arm?

I shouldn’t. It was stupid. So, from that moment on, I was going to stop caring about any other girl touching Brendan’s arm or kissing his cheek.

Instead of dropping my arm from around Vincent’s waist, I curled my fingers around it, looked Brendan right in the eye, and said, “Vincent, do you mind driving me home today?”

There was obvious satisfaction in his voice when he said, “Not at all.”

And even though everything in me screamed that I didn’t want a party, that all I wanted was Mathletes and pancakes and foggy mornings and light-switch games, there was a small part of me that screamed something else. Namely, how sweet Vincent had been the last few weeks, and how good he smelled, and how kissable his lips looked right that second.

So I stretched up on my toes, leaned in to him, and planted a kiss low on his cheek, right at the corner of his mouth. Then I tried to ignore the low noise Brendan made when Vincent turned the slightest bit, pressing his lips against mine for a brief second before pulling away and smiling.

Then we walked out the doors hand in hand. And I didn’t even think about looking back.

a good deal in love

Vincent ran around a lot that week, passing out fliers for a party that was supposed to be under a hundred people.

That first day, I snagged one off the top of his pile, teasing, “Why are we not texting these? Don’t you care about trees?”

“I do,” he said, “but this is more colorful. More fitting for a princess. Besides, Sofia is texting.”

I stared down at the quarter-sheet-sized pink paper, which was just Vincent’s handwriting photocopied. “Hey, this is next door to me. Brendan’s house.”

“Yeah.” Vincent shrugged. “He said he wanted to throw you a party, but I offered first. Said it was the least he could do. And it saves me from cleaning up, so…anyway. Gotta plan. I’ll see you later.” He ducked his head down, smacked a kiss on my cheek, then flashed that damn dimple. I couldn’t help but smile.

“It is gonna be chill, right?”

“Absolutely. You’re the birthday girl. You asked for chill, and chill is what you’ll get.”

I made my way to the cafeteria, where I’d promised Julia I’d have lunch with her.

She sat bent over her Algebra textbook, and looked at me with forlorn eyes. “Will you help me here?”

“Yeah, but isn’t that due next period? Why didn’t you have it done last night?” I tried to keep the scolding out of my voice, but it was a pet peeve of mine when kids stressed over their homework the period before.

She sighed, and put her head down on her arms right there at the table. “I would normally ask Brendan to help me, but he’s been spending all his time with Sofia. In his room.”

My eyes practically bugged out of my head, and I had to swallow hard to get more words out. “Studying what?”

“Math, they say. But they’re mostly quiet. And you know what’s going on when two people are mostly quiet.”

I stared at her. “They’re in there making out?”

Julia looked at me. “Please. Do you think I care enough about Brendan to snoop on him while he’s in his room with a gorgeous girl ‘studying’?”

“No. But maybe you care enough about me?” I tried to sound like I was teasing but really the panic was rising in my voice at a crazy rate.

“Hey, what are you so upset about? It’s not like you like him or anything.”

It’s not like I was ballsy enough to show or tell anyone I liked him, no.

“I mean, you have Vincent fawning all over you.” Julia practically sighed as she said his name. “Why are you worrying about what my stupid geeky brother is doing with his new bitchy girlfriend?”

The use of the word “girlfriend” made my stomach do flips, and I felt my face getting hot. “You think she’s a bitch?” I tried to tone down the glee I knew was in my tone.

Julia snorted. “I know she’s a bitch. How else did she manage to climb the social ladder at Mansfield Prep faster than an acrobat on crack?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Money?”

Julia stared at me. “Seriously? You think just because a kid’s rich she’s the queen of Mansfield Prep? Then check out Henry Green. Tons of cash and still gets stuffed in his locker like twice a week. No, there’s something else. She knows how to talk to people, how to make them feel good. Or something. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m hoping she’ll get me invited to all the best parties. It’s my turn to have hot guys fawning over me,” she pouted.

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks, honey.” For the next few minutes, I guided her through the problems giving her so much trouble.

As I stood up to leave, she let her mouth drop open in mock shock. “What, you’re not going to grill me about my classes and how hard I’m studying?”

I laughed. “You’re a big girl. You can take care of yourself.” When she still looked shocked, I laughed again. “Next time, I promise. Tomorrow.”

Julia smiled knowingly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were mega distracted by that guy.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. She’d never refer to Brendan as “that guy.”

“Hello. Vincent? Seriously. Since when have you been such a space cadet? He must be really taking over your brain.”

I forced a laugh. I think I sounded like a barking seal. “Yeah. Must be. I’ll see you later Jul, okay?”

a little amusement among ourselves

The party was that Saturday night. I’d convinced Kristin and Bruce that I didn’t want to make a big deal out of anything, and thankfully, they had listened to me, just bringing my favorite almond-mocha cake out at the end of cooking my favorite dinner Friday night. They had tickets to the opera on Saturday night anyway, she said, and when I told her my friends were planning something, a look of happy relief swept her face.

“Brendan and Julia are taking you out?”

“No. Um…Vincent.”

“Vincent?”

“He wanted to throw a party for me.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Is it so crazy that someone would want to have a party for me?”

“No, honey, you know that’s not what I meant. It’s just that you normally don’t like that sort of thing.”

What was it with all these people trying to tell me what I did and did not like? What I was and was not supposed to want? Yeah, I felt a little jittery at the idea of a hundred kids from school, most who barely knew me, standing around and staring at me as I blew out the candles on a birthday cake. But maybe Vincent was right. Maybe I did need to branch out.

But I couldn’t say any of that to Aunt Kristin. Maybe because I didn’t want to talk about it, and maybe because I didn’t really believe it myself. “Anyway, I’ll be out late. But it sounds like you will, too.”

“Speaking of that, I need to duck upstairs to get ready. You’ll be okay?

I waved my phone. “Yep.”

“All right. While you’ve got that thing on you, call your mom, too. Okay? She’s been texting, checking up on you through me. I tell her you’re great, but it’s not the same as hearing from you.”

I gave her a halfhearted smile. If Mom wanted to talk to me, she could just call me. But I really didn’t want to have that conversation now. “Will do.”

Ω

I spent the rest of the day getting ready for my birthday party. Even thinking those words felt so weird. Especially because I knew nothing about it, aside from Vincent’s promise to treat me like a princess while at the same time keeping it completely chill. I stared at that closet, wondering how a chill princess would dress at her birthday party.

I thought about Brendan saying I didn’t like parties, and Aunt Kristin. How I didn’t like being the center of attention. I looked down at my broken-in jeans, plain flats, and graphic tee. I definitely looked like someone who didn’t enjoy parties.

What would happen if I spent tonight trying to be someone no one thought I was? I wondered how much of me was really me or how much of me was trying to conform to what I’d already made people think I was. I wondered how much of that was keeping me away from who I could be, like Vincent said.

Okay. So maybe I’d try to look like a chill princess who loved birthday parties. Maybe I’d actually try to have fun.

Half an hour later, and surrounded by piles of clothes, most of which I’d accumulated in the ten months that had lapsed since I’d first moved here, I stood in front of my full-length mirror and admired myself. I’d found a pale pink lace skirt that puffed out from my waist, making me look like I probably had more hips than I actually did, and stopped a couple inches above my knee, which made my legs look longer than they actually were. I’d snagged a gold-brown wrap top from Kristin’s closet and dug out some bright gold flats that I’d always been too scared to wear with anything for fear I’d stand out. Tonight, that’s what I wanted to do. I really did feel exactly how I wanted to—understated, pretty, a little fancy. I popped my hip out and did my little lip-bite thing.

I wondered if this outfit would inspire Vincent to finally make the move and try to really kiss me—hands-in-my-hair, biting-my-lip kissing. One thing I knew for sure—I was ready to feel, just for this one night, what it felt like to be wanted, looked at, admired, by a whole house full of people.

Ω

I was just spraying on some perfume I’d found in Aunt Kristin’s room that was light and fruity, instead of the heavy and musky stuff she usually wore. Something seemed weird to me about wanting to smell like a fruit basket, but I knew perfume was something people wore, and I didn’t want to smell like a freaking flower truck like Sofia.