Snow Angel (20 page)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Melinda and Karen spent the rest of the morning getting in as many runs as possible and conversing on safe topics, the bright air shimmering with their happy chatter.

It was an exhilarating day, and Melinda found herself surprised when the time for lunch arrived.

“Already?” she asked.

Karen double checked her watch. “I said we’d meet them at one. It’s quarter-to now. We’ll barely have time to get this last slope in.”

They took off down the hill, Melinda trailing in Karen’s speed-demon wake, as usual. Her belly rumbled, making its opinion on the upcoming break known. She hoped Jacob would order extra fries with his usual burger so she could snag a few.

Once she reached the bottom and rejoined her mother, they made their way to the lodge, jammed their poles and skis into the towering piles of snow lining the enclosed patio—a patio nearly double the size of the deck at the lodge on the beginner’s side of the mountain—and trekked to their lockers to exchange their clunky ski boots for warm and comfy after-ski shoes.

Most people didn’t bother changing, they simply stumped around in their ski boots, ate as fast as possible, and went right back out to the lifts. Melinda and her mother both preferred to eat in comfort.

Melinda unsnapped her helmet and tossed it into the locker along with her boots. Her braid needed redoing, and the hair that had escaped was a crackling, static-filled halo around her head. She fixed it as quickly as possible, while Karen, who’d exchanged her helmet for a knit ski cap and solved her own static-haired issues in three seconds, tapped her foot and stared pointedly at her watch.

“No one cares what you look like coming off the slopes, Princess Perfect. I’m hungry.”

“They may not care, but I do. Two seconds.”

“That’s what you always say,” Karen mock-complained. “You’re almost as bad as Rick.” Putting her hands together in a prayerful manner beneath her chin, she begged, “Feed. Me.” She moved her hands to her belly and clutched. “Must. Eat. Must. Drink.”

Melinda snorted. “Now who’s as bad as Rick?”

“
Hmph
,” Karen huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot even harder. “Let’s go before they run out of food.”

Winking at her glowering mother in the mirror, Melinda gave her hair a final pat. She sang out, “Coming, coming,” beaming a smile, then gave her mother a smacking kiss on the cheek, all innocence and sunshine.

She swiped lip balm across her mouth, still grinning, as she followed her mother toward the lodge restaurant.

They waved to the other members of their party, spread unevenly across four lined-up tables, and hustled to place their meal orders at the counter.

Melinda decided on a grilled-cheese sandwich made with havarti and bacon, a cup of tomato soup, and hot tea, while Karen ordered a double-bacon-cheeseburger, extra-large chili-cheese fries, and a hot chocolate mounded with whipped cream, an
I-dare-you-to-say-anything
look on her face. Her mother might be the size of a faerie, but she could match the boys for appetite.

Luckily for her, she also matched their metabolisms.

Approaching their tables, Melinda scanned the group. Uncle Allan and Eddie’s dad, Peter, stood with their arms slung around each other’s shoulders at the head of the farthest table, regaling everyone with a story involving a family of squirrels, a moose, a pinecone, and a pair of snowshoes, that had them all in stitches.

“The best part is,” Peter said, wiping his streaming eyes with his free hand, “it’s all true!”

“I don’t believe a word,” Bill said, snorting a laugh, while Eddie and Wendell rolled against each other, holding their bellies, and Christian pounded his hand on the tabletop, howling.

Melinda sat beside her mother and waited until the laughter had died down before leaning forward to ask, “Where’s Jake?”

Danny and Rick gave her odd looks, and the last of his smile left Christian’s face, but it was Nancy who answered.

“Oh, dear,” she said, fluttering her hands in her birdlike way as Karen added a questioning glance to Melinda’s, “didn’t you hear? I thought sure someone had told you.”

“Told us what?” Melinda and her mother said in unison.

Wendell, his red hair standing up in spikes all over his head, spoke around a bite of burger. “He’s in the ER.”

“Not again,” Karen said, concern ripe in her voice.

The blood seemed to drop right out of Melinda’s head.

“Is he all right?” she demanded, half rising from her seat, worry shooting her pounding heart uncomfortably high into her throat. “What happened?”

Karen placed a soothing hand on her shoulder, urging her back down.

“Sweetie, he’s fine, or everyone wouldn’t be here enjoying their lunches.” Karen turned her gaze on Bill and Lois. “What did happen?”

Before either of them could speak, Gabe shifted in his seat at a middle table and said, “He took out some poor old lady on a slope and went with her to make sure she was okay.” He shoved fries in his mouth. “She’s fine. So is he.”

“Well, he’s mostly fine,” Aunt Pat put in, a bit defensively, Melinda thought, as her aunt glared at Gabe. “He hurt his wrist, and he’s banged up a little.”

“Like I said,” Gabe repeated, as though it was no big deal.

Maybe after all the collisions Gabe had been in on various race courses across the country, a little skiing mishap seemed like no big deal to him, but panic hovered like bile midway up Melinda’s throat.

“Gabriel,” Karen said in her admonishing-mom voice. He merely shrugged and chomped down on another handful of fries.

Melinda turned to Jacob’s parents, only now realizing that they seemed perfectly relaxed. Her heart slowed to an almost-normal rhythm, but she wanted verbal reassurance from the two people who’d know the full extent of his injuries the best.

“You’re sure he’s okay?” she asked.

Lois reached across the table to pat the back of her hand. “He’s fine, sweetie. Banged up, as Pat said, but nothing that will keep him off the slopes for even an hour. Gabe’s right. Jakey was mostly shaken up over hitting someone else, especially an elderly person.”

Freshman year hung unspoken above the tables, the memories stark and painful, though everyone seemed determined to ignore ancient history. As though there were no similarities at all.

Not again, not again!
rang through Melinda’s head at ear-numbing decibels.

She shuddered, her eyes searching Lois’s face.

Jacob’s mother gazed serenely back. “He’d be here already,” she said, “except that he insisted on staying with the woman while she got treated. They’re being extra cautious due to her age, but overall she seemed fine. Just a little dazed when it first happened, and it freaked poor Jakey out.”

Melinda could only imagine. Poor Jacob. But okay. That all made sense. She took in a deep breath, blowing out the spike of fear and the worry for Jacob.

Conversation resumed around her, and she took another deep breath and allowed her stomach to settle. She exchanged a relieved glance with Bill, who, despite their age difference, looked so like his son. Shared memories were silently sent and received, more vivid in Bill’s eyes than they’d been in Lois’s, who seemed to have those early college months locked down tight.

As an athlete and an active guy, Jacob had visited emergency rooms on numerous occasions over his lifetime. Luckily, most of those visits had been for minor injuries. Except for that time in their freshman year of college, during what friends and family referred to as his “dark period,” though not in his hearing.

Melinda shuddered again, remembering that year, those few terrible months, and that last awful trip to the ER.

The seeds of that time had sprouted after Seth’s death. There’d been a new wildness in Jacob, a recklessness he’d never displayed before. Leaving home and starting college had only exacerbated it and had given him opportunities to act out in ways he never would have back in Pasodoro.

But Jacob had come out of that time even stronger than before. More, in every way—more dedicated, more determined, more joyful, more thoughtful, more loving.

More a man.

He’d turned his life back around after his brief foray down a dangerous path, and it had not been easy. He’d worked hard to earn back the trust he’d lost from so many people, had taken responsibility for his actions, had made restitution where necessary—and in some areas where it wasn’t necessary, too—and he became an even better person for it in the end.

People didn’t only trust him again, they respected him, too.

Pride grew a painful lump in Melinda’s throat and had tears pricking the corners of her eyes—pride in him and in all he’d accomplished since then. No one had ever stopped loving him, of course. Love was a gift. But the rest... the rest, he’d earned.

Swallowing her emotions along with a brief prayer of thanks that he and the elderly woman were okay, Melinda finally bit into her sandwich as the others’ conversations continued. Now that she was sure nothing serious had happened to Jacob, her mind wandered, free to look forward to the rest of the day again.

Still, no matter what anyone said, the incident had to have dredged up painful memories for him, not only of freshman year, but of Seth, too. She made a mental note to make sure he was as okay inside as he apparently was on the outside.

The women lingered over the meal, though the guys, along with Aunt Pat, headed back out to the lifts as soon as they finished. They didn’t expect to return until the sun went down.

Christian, who’d been oddly quiet during the meal, squeezed Melinda’s shoulder on his way out.

Karen decided to spend the afternoon with Nancy and Lois and only cajoled Melinda to join them a little bit. She took Melinda’s, “Not yet,” with good grace, hugged her tightly, and followed the other two to the locker room to suit back up.

Melinda sat a while longer, enjoying the heat of the fireplace at her back and the crystalline, snow-covered views through the lodge’s enormous windows, and hoping for a sight of Jacob.

Despite his parents’ reassurances, she wanted to see him for herself.

Though she waited over half-an-hour, he never appeared.

Finally, she gave up, deciding she’d have to catch him at the condo later. Or maybe she’d just head over there now and see if he was back.

She swallowed the last of her tea, though it had gone cold some time ago, and stood to retrieve her ski boots just as someone called her name across the length of the crowded restaurant.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Hi, Dane,” Melinda said, concealing her disappointment that he wasn’t Jacob with a warm smile as he strode to her side.

“How’s it going? You changed mountains.”

He looked her over with an answering smile that had color rising to her cheeks. Admiration gleamed in his pale green gaze, yet his words, though innocent enough, held a strange wisp of accusation.

“Um,” she said, slightly taken aback. “Yeah. Well, I always do on the second day. Are you teaching over here today?”

Dane’s stance shifted, relaxing a bit. “No, I’m off,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you. I thought maybe you were avoiding me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You didn’t call last night. Didn’t you see my number on the card I gave you?”

“Sorry,” she said, flushing hotter.

She resisted expanding on what she considered a good, noncommittal answer. He wouldn’t want to hear that she’d seen his number but hadn’t wanted to call.

Guilt twinged lightly along her shoulders. She hoped she hadn’t hurt his feelings.

“Now that I’ve found you, want to hit the slopes with me?” he asked. He smiled again. “I can show you some spots the tourists always miss.”

“Um…”

It wasn’t as if she didn’t like him, exactly, though she wasn’t eager to spend the afternoon with him, either. Besides, she was worried about Jacob.

“Come on,” he urged. “It’ll be fun.”

Melinda waffled, the part of her that didn’t want to be rude fighting with the part of her that wanted to check on her friend.

Of course, for all she knew, Jacob was already back out on the slopes.

“Come on,” Dane said again, and sent her a charming smile.

Frustrated, she ground her teeth. What would Jacob want her to do?

Well, that was easy.

If he really was fine, as everyone insisted, he’d want her to go ski and not waste the day. And he’d be out there somewhere himself. If he wasn’t fine, he wouldn’t want her hovering over him while he licked his wounds.

Damn it.

Fine. She’d compromise. She’d go ski with Dane for a while, but she’d text Jacob first, and she’d go back a little early, too, in case he wanted to talk. Or needed a hug.

To Dane, she said, “Okay, but I stick to the intermediate slopes. I’ll understand if that’s too tame for you.”

Dane shrugged. “No big. I can catch the diamonds any time. Where’s your gear?”

He escorted her to the locker room, then waited outside the lodge while she got ready.

When she came back out—after sending several super-cheerful, emoticon-heavy texts to Jacob and waiting what seemed an eternity for a response that didn’t come—she found Dane leaning negligently against a mounded pile of snow as though he was posing for a fashion shoot.

Amused, Melinda hid her smile. He did have a great body and a handsome face, yet he seemed both overconfident in some areas and almost insecure in others, always trying a bit too hard. He probably thought he came across as masculine and charming instead of domineering and arrogant.

Poor guy.

She’d heard her brother, her cousins, and their friends talk often enough about how hard it was for guys to approach girls they liked. Did Dane like her? Maybe that was his problem. He was intimidated and trying not to show it, though why he should find her intimidating she couldn’t guess.

Melinda vowed to be extra nice to him all afternoon to make up for it.

As they moved toward the first lift, Dane told her a couple of jokes, and she made sure to laugh enthusiastically. His appreciative grin dazzled in the afternoon sunlight.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Good God, what a day.

Jacob swiped his bandage-wrapped left hand over his face as he trudged from the shuttle stop toward the lodge. The fine powder of the day before had turned to slushy muck in the parking lot after so many cars and feet and skis had traversed the grounds.

At least the runs were still fresh, and the powder-like conditions would last even longer in the backcountry where a lot fewer people dared to go. But visions of the skiing to be had failed to raise his spirits much.

Head down, he followed the path behind a rowdy group of teens.

Relief that the woman he’d struck, Neta Smalls, was okay was tempered by the stress of the whole experience. When he’d first seen her crumpled body in the middle of the ski slope, he’d feared she might be dead.

He would never forget the breath-and-strength-stealing impact of that moment, as though a sadistic giant had reached through the back of his neck and pulled his spine straight out, and all his muscles and organs with it, leaving him an enormous, quivering, oxygen-starved blob of pure terror.

Neta was a tiny spitfire of a woman, and tough as nails, as he’d learned in the intervening hours, much to his relieved amusement.

But still.

She was seventy-eight years old, and he’d clipped her a good one, even if technically she had run into him. He hadn’t been paying close attention. His mind had been caught up in daydreams of Melinda, and Neta had paid the price.

She had a hell of a bruise running across her left hip and another on her arm, with his ski’s name on each one.

Jacob sighed, deliberately closing his mind against images of another elderly woman, pale and shaking thanks to him. And a young woman with bruises all over her body. Bruises he’d put there with his carelessness. Even after all this time, memories of the early months of his freshman year of college could drag him down into a dark pit lined with sticky guilt.

That final night. The crash, the destruction, the fear and pain.

Thank God he’d turned his life around after that, with no lasting damage to anyone, but he’d never forget the moments that had changed him forever.

Worst of all, there was Seth.

Remembering his first year of college always led him unavoidably to thoughts of Seth, his best friend aside from Melinda. And the night he died. The most painful topic of all. The worst moment of his entire life.

Hearing the words for the first time, not understanding how it could be true.

Awful.

Unbelievable.

Final.

God, he missed his friend.

It could still rise up and choke him by the throat. As though it had all just happened. The pain would stab, as fresh and sharp as in the first minutes and days after Seth had died.

Worst of all were the trips home, when he had to face the constant reminders of his friend’s too-short life everywhere he looked.

All because some stupid, careless woman couldn’t wait to send a fucking text until she got off the road. So she’d orphaned her children and killed his best friend.

Thinking about it could make him crazy. The rage that had burned through him had been nearly as bad as the grief, and harder to control. For a while, he’d gone every bit as stupid as Seth’s killer. Worse in some ways, because his actions had been deliberately wild, deliberately reckless.

Thank God he’d never killed anyone.

If anything positive had come out of that whole time period, that whole awful mess, it was the focus and direction he’d finally found for his life, as though Seth still sat beside him, guiding him along.

Seth never got his chance to really live, to finish growing up and get out of Pasodoro, to travel and explore, to meet new people, to do all the things he’d dreamed about when they were kids.

So Jacob would, for both of them.

Becoming a team doctor had seemed the smartest, most expedient way to accomplish those goals, since he’d always planned to go into medicine anyway. He’d be the best damn doctor he could possibly be, and he’d have the money and the opportunity to live the sort of life his friend had always envisioned.

It was the best way he knew to honor Seth’s memory.

He’d never stop missing his friend, or suffering the guilt when something happened to remind him of his freshman year. But he would do everything in his power to give back, to care for his patients, his family, and his friends, and to make sure he never took his life, or anyone else’s, for granted.

Today, Jacob had sat with Neta Smalls and her twinkly-eyed husband, Clyde, for hours, fresh guilt heavy on his shoulders. While they waited and went through all the tedium of a trip to the ER, he’d answered their questions as best he could and helped them answer more questions for the medical staff, some of whom had treated them like young children unable to speak for themselves.

He’d run into that attitude before, when visiting the retirement home in Pasodoro and other places, and it always made him mad. There were some elderly people who did have trouble expressing themselves, but most were perfectly capable, if the nurses and orderlies would be patient and give them an extra second to answer.

Clyde and Neta had entertained him, amused him, and touched him with stories from their life together, holding hands the entire time. Jacob hadn’t left until he’d realized the two of them were spending more time reassuring
him
than allowing Neta to rest.

Guilt still rode his shoulders, but they’d parted friends.

Now he just wanted to grab his gear and get back out on the slopes to salvage what he could of the afternoon, working off the lingering pangs of remorse on the steep, unforgiving face of the mountain.

The ER doctor had wanted him to take the rest of the day off, which sounded like the worst possible idea. He had no intention of wasting time lazing around the condo by himself with only his miserable thoughts for company.

Jacob rounded the corner of the lodge in time to see Melinda skiing toward one of the chair lines. Heart lifting, he raised his hand, on the verge of hailing her before he realized she wasn’t alone.

The guy had his back to Jacob, though he was too short to be any of their friends or her cousins, despite the pale blond strands of hair sticking out beneath his ski cap.

He had to be the ski instructor.

A sensation he didn’t care for clutched in Jacob’s belly. One he wasn’t familiar with, yet had no trouble identifying.

Jealousy.

Terrific.

Unwelcome awareness crept over him.

Earlier, he’d been so caught up in the idea of himself and Melinda together, he hadn’t stopped to think the whole thing over from her point of view. He’d worried a little about their families’ reactions, but he realized he hadn’t really considered her feelings at all.

Like the fact that she was still getting over that asshole, Mitch, as Christian had reminded him. Or worse, that she might not feel the way he did in the first place. And even if she did, she might not be willing to give up her own dreams and desires to follow his. Could he ask her to? Could he give up his own dreams to make her happy?

Either way, it seemed one of them would have to give up a lot for the other. That sounded like a poor recipe for starting any sort of relationship.

Worst of all, he’d never considered she might already be interested in someone else.

Slowing to a stop in the middle of the path, Jacob frowned. He’d decided he wanted her, that she was the one for him, but what did that really mean? All that intellectualizing about complications and his plans and timelines. What did he really feel?

Other skiers brushed past him, but he hardly noticed, his eyes trained on Melinda and the ski instructor.

He’d been ready to risk their friendship for the sake of... of what, exactly? His newly awakened lust? Love? The possibility of love? He wasn’t ready to say the big L-word, was he?

Sure he loved her, he’d loved her his whole life, and told her so all the damn time, but that was friendship love.

Was this capital ‘L’ love?

If it wasn’t, then he shouldn’t even bring it up, because anything less than L-O-V-E love wouldn’t be worth the risk. He certainly wasn’t going to risk their friendship over sex, no matter how hot she made him. Which was
hot
. But if he did capital ‘L’ love her, then that...

Well, that was just fucking scary.

Head spinning, Jacob fumbled his way to the outdoor patio and slumped into a chair. What the hell was he doing?

Jacob scrubbed his hands over his face and groaned, barely registering the soreness in his wrist.

He hadn’t even told her his news yet. He couldn’t toss a relationship in her lap and then tell her, oh, by the way, I’m also leaving for months, see ya later.

God.

He was losing his edge on that tsunami wave, heading for a wipeout. He needed to think. Last night he’d decided she was it for him. In the bright light of day, what did that really mean? He had to figure that out before he moved forward.

In the meantime...

Jacob flicked his gaze toward Melinda and the Danish pastry puff, now boarding the lift chair.

Yeah.

In the meantime, he wasn’t going to become That Guy, the jealous caveman idiot who couldn’t stand to see his woman in the company of another male.