Smoke and Fire: Part 3 (4 page)

He bent and gathered her in his arms before he straightened. Kinsey was smiling as she tightened her legs around his waist. With her arms wrapped about his neck, she looked into his hazel eyes.

There was so much she wanted to say, but she couldn’t get any of it out. Not only wasn’t it the right time, but there wasn’t any point in it. It would only cause more friction between her and Ryder.

“Stop thinking,” he ordered with a half-smile.

“Make me.”

Always up for a challenge, Ryder lifted her before slowly lowering her atop his rigid arousal. Kinsey gasped at the feel of him stretching her.

The deeper he went, the more she felt as if she were whole again.

“So damn tight,” he murmured while winding her hair around his hand. “I doona think I can be gentle.”

She tightened her thighs, allowing her to move against him. “I don’t want gentle.”

The next instant she was against a wall. Ryder pulled out of her and began to thrust. Hard, fast, deep. He kept a tight hold of her hair as he filled her time and again.

Kinsey closed her eyes and took him, savoring every moment. She erased many of her memories with Ryder, but she hadn’t forgotten how it felt to have him sliding within her.

He held her without effort, his powerful muscles shifting and moving. This was the alpha side of Ryder, the part of him that had to be in control, dominating everything around him. It made her stomach flip with excitement.

She sank her fingers into his thick, blond locks. His lips found hers again, their tongues dancing in time with their bodies.

It was erotic and stimulating.

Then he was walking. The feel of his cock moving just slightly as he strode from the wall to the bed, left her gasping for more.

“I need you,” she begged.

He nuzzled her neck below her ear then asked, “How?”

“Any way you’ll take me.”

He growled, the sound reminding her of him in dragon form. It thrilled her, causing chills to race along her skin.

“That’s my girl.”

She found herself back on the bed with Ryder still buried deep within her. Then he took her legs and lifted them so they were next to his head. Only then did he begin to plunge within her again.

This angle brought him even deeper so that he touched her womb with every thrust. Her eyes were focused on his face, on the set of his jaw and the hunger in his gaze.

He was allowing her to see the yearning in his soul—for her. It took her breath away. But did she dare believe it?

Ryder couldn’t get enough of her. The more he was in her, the more he had to have. He knew he wouldn’t be able to let her go again. He’d been an utter fool to do it the first time. It was a mistake he wouldn’t repeat.

She felt amazing, her tight walls wrapped around him, tightening as she built to another climax. He watched her, the ecstasy and happiness on her face was a reminder of what they’d had.

He gripped her ankles tighter, his own orgasm coming quickly.

“Yes,” she said.

Ryder thrust faster. Her breathing quickened as her moans grew louder. He wanted her limp with pleasure, at least that had been his initial goal. Now he knew he’d be the one limp and content alongside her.

A strangled cry tore from her lips as she peaked for the second time. The feel of her walls tightening around him was too much. Ryder drove into her twice more before he plunged deep and fell over her, catching himself with his hands as he climaxed.

For three years he’d shunned women as he pined for Kinsey, but she was back in his arms. For the time being, at least.

When he opened his eyes, she was gazing up at him with a grin.

“Wow,” she whispered.

Ryder smiled and gave her a quick kiss. “Ditto.”

“Don’t leave.”

Just what he wanted to hear. They climbed beneath the covers. This time when she curled against his chest, she was awake.

“You’ve been here both nights, haven’t you?” Kinsey asked.

He thought about lying, because he wasn’t sure how she would react. But he quickly decided against it. “Aye.”

“Why?”

“I had to be near you. The first night after I got your shoes and jacket off I was going to leave, but I couldna. So I thought I’d lay beside you for a wee bit. The next thing I knew, you were lying just like this.”

She drew in a deep breath and released it. “And last night?”

“I told myself I’d stay away, but I wasna strong enough. That one night with you reminded me of what we had. I wanted more. You slept deeply those nights. Did I wake you tonight?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Why?”

There was a brief hesitation. “Several things. Mainly trying to clear my name, sorting through all the data we’ve collected that led us to even more data.”

“What else?”

“You.”

He wasn’t sure whether to be excited or worried that he was on her mind. “What about me?”

“Being with you again is a reminder of what we had.”

“And how I hurt you.” No amount of apologizing would ever make up for what he did. No excuse was forgivable for hurting someone as special and giving as Kinsey.

She gave a little nod. “Yes.”

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”

“I don’t know.”

Chapter Twenty-eight

“
I don’t know.
”

Those words haunted Ryder the rest of the night, even as they made love again and again. Passion and need blended with the desires of the past that still held them both in its thrall, refusing to let go.

But he could sense Kinsey continued to hold a small portion of herself back, and that hurt Ryder more than he expected.

He was used to the Kinsey who gave all of herself to him, but that woman was gone.

In her place was one more reserved and a little cold. A woman who didn’t trust as easily and assumed everyone was always lying.

That’s what he’d done to her.

No amount of lovemaking was going to redeem him or erase the hurt he’d caused. It didn’t matter that their bodies moved in a rhythm all its own, a tempo that was just for the two of them. Nor did it matter how much pleasure he wrung from her.

None of it mended her heart that he’d so carelessly broken.

That wasn’t true. It had torn Ryder apart to leave her, but he’d done it to protect Dreagan and the other Kings.

Why hadn’t he gone back to her when he’d discovered the spell was broken and they could love again?

He slowly pulled his arm from beneath Kinsey’s head and sat up on the side of the bed. He sighed, not wanting to answer that question—even to himself.

Ryder stood and pulled on his jeans, not bothering to buckle them. He walked to the window, but he wasn’t looking out. His gaze was focused on his reflection.

He hadn’t gone back to Glasgow for Kinsey because there hadn’t been time.

Lie. Or a half-lie.

There were occasions he could’ve gone. Why hadn’t he? What held him back? It wasn’t Con’s reaction, because Ryder didn’t give a shite about that.

He ran a hand down his face, his reflection in the glass troubled—just as his heart was. Because the truth was he was scared he’d lost Kinsey.

By not going to her, he didn’t have to face a truth he feared more than anything.

And yet what did fate have in store for him? None other than dropping Kinsey right in his lap.

Ryder closed his eyes. What an utter fool he’d been. All those times telling others that nothing scared him, when he’d known deep down in the pit of his soul that the mere thought of not having Kinsey’s love terrified him.

He opened his eyes, his chin to his chest. His mistakes were in the past. Ryder was getting a second chance, and he wasn’t going to blow it again. Nothing—and no one—was going to get in his way of reminding Kinsey how good they were together.

His image in the glass faded as he shifted his focus to beyond the window. The entire landscape was drenched in white. It was normally a time of year he loved, but that wasn’t possible this time. Not when everything he wanted was just out of reach.

He braced his hands on either side of the window and glanced over at the bed where Kinsey slept. He should be rejoicing because she’d welcomed him, not worrying. But that was exactly what he was doing. Worrying.

Worrying because something kept nagging at him. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something he was missing. Something he should’ve seen—and he felt like it was important.

Ryder grabbed his shirt and boots and quietly left the room. It was doing him no good to stay and contemplate what Kinsey was thinking when there was work to be done. Despite his millions of years on the planet, he had no clue what went on in the mind of a female.

Something rammed into his shoulder. Ryder blinked and spun around to find Rhys wearing a deep frown.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Ryder ran a hand down his face. Fuck. He just now remembered hearing someone call his name through their mind link. Not once had he taken a night to himself, and that’s all he’d wanted. Ryder should’ve known something important would come up. It always did.

“Tell me what you need,” he said to Rhys.

Rhys lowered his gaze to Ryder’s hands that held his boots and shirt. “Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the computer room in a bit.”

He watched Rhys walk away. A glance down showed his hands were shaking, he was shaking. With his inner turmoil about Kinsey, the danger of Ulrik and the Dark, MI5 on the grounds, and everyone constantly shouting his name, he needed a moment to himself.

Ryder made his way downstairs through the secret doorway to the mountain. It had been days since he’d been in his true form, and it was playing havoc with his mind. He dropped his boots and shirt inside the mountain.

His strides were long as he walked the tunnel, but soon he was running. He’d prefer to be in his mountain where he was completely alone. The fact it was too far away kept him there, close to Kinsey should she need him.

Ryder found the first cavern large enough to hold him, but he spotted white scales. Dmitri.

The next cavern appeared to be empty until he heard a rumble and peered into the darkness to see mocha-colored scales. Anson.

He skipped the next five and continued down until he was sure he was alone. There Ryder shifted, uncaring that he still wore his jeans.

A calmness stole over him, easing the onslaught of emotions that battered him like a storm. No matter how much they looked like humans, they were and always would be dragons. He shook his great head and spread his wings before snapping them shut.

He closed his eyes, imagining that he was soaring through the air, sweeping in and out of the clouds. The band of tightness that had constricted his chest since the moment Kinsey said she didn’t know if she could forgive him began to ease.

If only he could be flying. Then he could remember who he really was—or rather who he’d once been. He’d be able to work out all the problems facing the Dragon Kings and Kinsey. Because in the air, everything came into focus with a clarity that always astounded him.

“Of all the Kings, you’re one I never worried about.”

Ryder snapped open his dragon eyes to find Con sitting on a boulder with one leg braced on the rock and the other on the ground. He twirled the gold dragon-head cuff link at his left wrist and glanced up at Ryder.

“You look like hell, my friend.”

Ryder briefly looked away. He felt like it too. Unwilling to return to human form, he opened his mental link to Con and said, “
I’ll be fine.
”

“Hmm,” Con said after a moment. “I’m no’ so sure. Kinsey is messing with your head.”

“
There’s a lot going on between Ulrik, the Dark, and now trying to clear her name.
”

Con released the cuff link and leaned his forearm on his bent leg. “I trust your judgment, Ryder. You’ve never let me or any of the Kings down. It’s why I didna allow Rhys to interrupt you and Kinsey last night. Everyone deserves a night off here and there.”

“
But?
” Ryder urged.

“There was a breakthrough with Esther. She gave us a name.”

This shocked Ryder so much he shifted into his human form. They should’ve told him immediately. When he thought of all the answers he could’ve learned from a single name, he wanted to shout his fury at losing those hours.

Then he remembered who he’d been with.

“You should’ve let me know,” he told Constantine.

“I did a search of the name.”

The thought of someone else messing with his equipment irritated and infuriated Ryder.

“Ah,” Con said with a slight smile. “You doona like the idea that I was in your space?”

“Nay.” No use beating around the bush. It was always best to be honest with Con, no matter the outcome.

Con gave a little tilt of his head in acknowledgement. “I can understand that. We’ve all had our jobs for the last several hundred years.”

“What did you find?”

“Nothing.”

Ryder walked to the corner where a notch was carved into rock where clothes were stashed for just such occurrences. He took a pair of jeans and a flannel plaid button-down and put them on. “How deep did you search?”

“No’ as deep as you will. I wanted to see if anything would come up. There was nothing.”

“Which means there’s definitely something.”

Con nodded his blond head. “I agree. I’ve got a meeting in Paris tomorrow. I’ll be leaving later this afternoon.”

“Since when do you tell me what you’re doing?”

“Since all of you have been snooping into my life.”

Ryder grinned. “We just want to know who the lucky lady is.”

“No’ going to happen.” Con dropped his arms and stood. “I’m sending Asher to a distributer meeting in Prague tomorrow.”

“Do we expect a surprise visit?”

“I always expect the Dark now. Doona factor out Ulrik either.”

Ryder crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m good, Con, but I’m already stretched to the limits with all the searches I’m doing.”

“Then make use of Kinsey. While she’s here,” he added as he walked from the cavern.

So much for Ryder wanting to get away. He had no choice but to get to his computers immediately. The fact Con left him alone last night was surprising, but also concerning. It was out of character for Con in a very big way.