Eighteen
Even as Kimi dressed for dinner, her nerve began to fail her. Millie assured her she looked “purtier than a speckled pup” but still Kimi stared at herself in the full-length mirror although she knew everyone else must be ready.
Even Rand knocked on her door. “Kimi, are you coming?”
He must have known she was uneasy. The image staring back at her looked unfamiliar. Millie had laced her into a tight corset and big hoop skirts. The dress Vanessa had lent her was willow green cotton, which Vanessa had said she was about to give the maid anyway because it wasn't Vanessa's best color. Kimi's ebony braids had been redone into an elegant French twist with little ringlets about her face. While the pointy shoes pinched and she could scarcely breathe in the tight corset, she felt as if most of her bosom was bare in the low-cut bodice. Her medicine object looked rather out of place on its rawhide thong.
Millie shook her head. “Ma'am, why don't you let me find a gold chain for your doodad? Until I do, you can wear some of dese pearls tonight.”
She was reluctant to take it off, but she substituted pearls after Millie promised again to replace the thong with a gold chain by tomorrow.
She heard a buggy drive up outside in the twilight and ran to the window. A beautiful black-haired girl in an expensive autumn russet-colored velvet dress, and a distinguished older man with a gray mustache and goatee were alighting. The black-haired girl moved with a mincing, ladylike step. Was that the fabled Lenore? She was so beautiful, she took Kimi's breath away. There was also something vaguely familiar about her. Of course Kimi was certain it was because Rand had described Lenore so often, she knew what she would look like. How could Kimi compete with a sophisticated beauty like that? Her nerve failed her.
Rand knocked again. “Kimi, are you coming?”
“I'm not quite ready,” Kimi lied. “Go on down. I'll be there in a minute.”
“Are you all right?”
“Of course. I'm just not quite ready, that's all.”
About that time, Kimi heard Mrs. Erikson's voice floating up the stairs. “Yoo hoo, dear boy, come down. Our guests have arrived.”
“Kimi,” he said again.
“Go on, I'll be along in a moment.”
She listened to him leave, heaved a sigh of relief. How could she go down and face the girl who was going to marry Rand? Having seen Lenore out the window, Kimi thought her more beautiful than any girl she had ever seen. No wonder Rand was attracted to me, Kimi thought miserably. I must have reminded him of herâabout the same height with ebony hair.
Millie handed her a small, lace object. “Here's your fan, Miss. Just flutter it and flirts with de gentlemen.”
“I'll feel silly. It seems so stupid.”
“Fancy white ladies wouldn't be caught dead without a fan, maâam. You be prettier than her, miss. Don't let her outdo you none now. 'Course, we got to try to soak you down wif' buttermilk, get that tan off your skin.”
That gave Kimi one more thing to worry about. Very pale white skin denoted beauty among these people. “I don't know whereâ”
“Dey be in de library first.”
“What's a library?”
The girl started to laugh, then seemed to realize Kimi wasn't joking and her expression warmed with sympathy. “Look for de room full of books.”
Kimi opened her door a crack. Below her, she heard the front door open, then the sounds of laughter and greetings as Lenore Carstairs and the old family friend arrived. Maybe Kimi could suddenly be taken sick and have a tray sent up. But that was a cowardly way out, and she wasn't a very good liar.
Kimi hesitated, finally built up her courage and went downstairs, walking carefully in the miserable, tight shoes. Kimi had very small feet, but evidently all ladies' shoes were made to hurt. Dealing with the hoops was awkward. She began to feel a little sorry for white women. So this was what it felt like to be civilized. She followed the conversation and found everyone sitting or standing around in a big room filled with books. She paused in the doorway and all heads turned toward her.
Rand's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. Kimi waited uneasily. I must look ridiculous, she thought,
from the expression on all the men's faces
.
Rand stared at Kimi a long moment, startled into complete silence. Dressed as a Southern lady, Kimi was more than pretty; she was a vision of beauty in pale green, a swan among awkward ducks. He tried to find words, but could only gape at her. By comparison, she made Lenore and his sister Vanessa look like dumpy servant girls. The other men apparently shared his assessment; they were both staring at Kimi as if a goddess had suddenly floated into the library.
Rand managed to pull himself together, cleared his throat, and smiled at Kimi reassuringly. “Everyone, this is my friend, Kimi, who returned with me from the Sioux camp. Kimi, this is Lenore Carstairs. You know my mother and sister.”
Lenore looked her up and down. “How do you do?” She said coldly as if she really hoped not very well.
“Fine and you?” Kimi could only be thankful Millie had coaxed her a little.
“Very well now that
my
fiancee is home again.”
Rand looked ill at ease, hurried on with the introductions. “May I present my father and Judge Hamilton?”
Jon Erikson had the saddest expression on his handsome face. He also appeared to be a bit drunk. This is exactly what Rand would look like in twenty-five years, Kimi thought, if he stayed in civilization; a bit paunchy, red veins in his nose from too much bourbon and rich food. Mr. Erikson staggered a little as he crossed the carpet, took her hand, and kissed it. “So pleased to have you here, Miss Kimi.”
Judge Hamilton smiled and stroked his gray mustache. “Great Caesar's ghost, Rand, you didn't tell us she was so lovely. Young lady, will you honor an old man by being his dinner partner?”
She liked him immediately. “Why, judge, I'd be delighted.”
She heard someone in the hall and turned as another man entered. He was handsome, older than Rand, but shorter and heavier. He walked with a slight limp. “Evenin', y'all, sorry I'm a bit late.”
“Shelby, I was wondering where you were.” Vanessa took his arm possessively.
Introductions were made and Shelby bent over Kimi's hand. “Well, I can see why anyone would want to run away to the Indians.”
He hung onto her fingers a long moment and his felt clammy, his kiss wet on the back of her hand. The lamp light reflected off his oiled hair.
Kimi took a deep breath and smelled perfumed hair tonic. “You are too kind, sir.” She managed to pull her fingers from his.
Vanessa pouted at her. “Shelby is my fiancee. We are planning a double wedding with Rand and Lenore.”
What did she expect Kimi to say? Kimi smiled. “So you've told me before. I hope you'll all be very happy.”
There was an awkward pause. All three women were glaring at her, Rand looked discomforted, Shelby Merson leered and the judge gallantly offered her his arm. “Remember, my dear, you promised to be my dinner partner.”
She took his arm after seeing Lenore take Rand's. “Certainly.” She wished she felt as confident as she forced herself to sound. Already she sensed that the three women saw her as an adversary. The judge seemed genuinely friendly.
The dining room had Victorian scarlet wallpaper and heavy velvet drapes. A chandelier glittered over the long ornate walnut table. She paused as they reached the table, not quite sure what to do next, even as the judge pulled her chair out. What was she supposed to do now? She watched Rand, Shelby and Mr. Erikson seat the other women. So that was the way it was done. Kimi lifted the yards of green skirt and smiled at the judge as he pulled her chair out, seated her.
Kimi looked up from the gold-rimmed dinner service she was contemplating to find the judge was staring at her. His face grew puzzled. “Miss Kimi, is there any possibility we've ever met before?”
Rand laughed. “Judge, if you weren't a respected senior citizen of this county, we might all think you were flirting with the young lady.”
“And if I weren't such a senior, I might,” the judge retorted, a twinkle in his eyes.
Everyone laughed and Kimi felt herself blush. “I think I would be honored if the judge were so inclined.”
Mister Erikson, at the end of the table, said, “For a girl who hasn't been raised like a Southern belle, ma'am, you certainly know instinctively the repartee.”
“Seriously,” the judge said, “she just looked familiar, that's all. Miss Kimi, green is certainly your color; it goes with your eyes.”
Vanessa, sitting next to Kimi said, “Isn't it lucky I had an old dress I could lend her? I had intended to give it to a servant.”
Rand gave his sister a cold look from his place on his mother's right. “You never looked so good in it, sister.”
A sudden chill seemed to descend on the room. Kimi licked her dry lower lip. “It was very nice of her to lend me the dress. I really didn't have anything nice enough to wear.”
Lenore said, “We're about the same size. Perhaps before you leave the area, I could give you a few things. I'd consider it my Christian duty.”
In the library, Kimi had noticed the one flaw in Lenore's beauty; her large feet. Kimi certainly couldn't wear her shoes. She forced herself to smile. “You're too kind, Miss Carstairs.”
“You should have seen her when she arrived,” Vanessa said smugly to the other guests, “she was in moccasins and a leather shift when she stepped out of the carriage.”
Kimi felt all eyes upon her. A savage, that's what they think of me; an uncivilized savage, a curiosity.
“Well,” said the judge, “she certainly is lovely. I'll wager she made that buckskin look as good as she does Miss Vanessa's dress.”
“Pierce,” Mrs. Erikson said from the end of the table, “Elizabeth wasn't up to coming?”
He shook his head and looked worried as he spread his napkin over his lap. “She does invite all of you to dinner tomorrow night.” He looked at Kimi, “and of course, your guest is invited, too.”
Kimi, watching him, spread her napkin on her lap, also. The chair wasn't all that comfortable, and the tight corset made it hard to breathe. She thought wistfully of sitting before a camp fire on the ground, cooking a piece of meat.
Rand's father had already finished his wine, was gesturing to the black servant to fill his glass again.
Mrs. Erikson pursed her lips in disapproval. “Really, Jon, that's your fourth glass.”
“I don't have to count, not with my dear wife keeping score.” With an almost defiant gesture, he took a long drink.
The air seemed tense. Kimi glanced at Rand. He looked a little embarrassed and unhappy as he began to ask about how the war had affected the area and gossip about people they all knew. Kimi knew none of the people being discussed, so she concentrated on the food in her plate. She looked at all the silver on each side of the gold-rimmed china. What to use?
The judge caught her eye, made an elaborate gesture of picking up a fork. His expression gave her to know he would try to help her. Immediately, Kimi felt a little better. She had an ally. Rand was too far down the table to give her any hints. Kimi did exactly as the judge did.
Mrs. Erikson said, “Oh, by the way, Rand, about the Harvest Moon Ball I've planned for this Saturday nightâ”
“Mother!” Vanessa pouted, “you've spoiled the surprise.”
“Oh, for pity's sake, Vanessa, it's not that big a thing,” Lenore said with an airy wave of her hand. “It's just to announce our engagements, that's all.”
Kimi managed to keep her face immobile as she struggled with her knife and fork. Everything seemed fried and too rich or salty for her taste, but then she was used to simple stews and buffalo steaks roasted on a slow spit over a fire.
She looked up to find Shelby Merson staring at her low bodice as if he were mentally taking her clothes off. “Do you waltz, Miss Kimi?”
She started to shake her head, but Rand said, “I was just in the process of teaching her.” He locked his gaze on hers. “I wouldn't want you to miss the ball, Kimi.”
Lenore bristled and paused with her delicate crystal wine glass half way to her lips. “I understand Miss Kimi is only a temporary houseguest. She might be gone by then.”
“On the other hand”âKimi looked her straight in the eyeâ“I might not.”
Jon Erikson seemed to come out of his stupor and grinned at her sassiness. “Of course you're invited to the ball, my dear. I'll look forward to your saving a dance for me.”
Rand and Kimi exchanged looks. “Mother,” he said, “I wish you'd ask me before you start making big plans.”
“Mercy me, brother,” Vanessa sipped her wine, “we thought it might be a wonderful time to set a double wedding.”
Rand appeared a bit testy. “I had forgotten how all you women manage my life for me.”
“Why should you be any different?” Jon Erikson muttered. “They've always interfered in mine.”
Rand's mother frowned the length of the table at him. “Did you say something, Jon?”
“No, my dear.”
Kimi watched Rand's father. He had retreated to his fried chicken and his wine.
Judge Hamilton immediately changed the subject, talking about how the war had affected Kentucky, cotton prices, almost any less volatile subject.
Kimi picked at her food. She wasn't very good with a fork and she was more than a little afraid of embarrassing herself. She could scarcely breath in the tight corset, and the yards and yards of skirt seemed to smother her while the shoes pinched her feet. She thought longingly of her soft doeskin dress and moccasins. Could she ever fit into white society? Did she want to? She felt someone's eyes on her, glanced up suddenly, and caught Rand watching her. When their eyes met he looked away. For a moment his face seemed almost as sad as Jon Erikson's. Rand's happiness was all that mattered to her. What would make him happiest?