Unable to help it, she dashed the tears off her cheeks. His smile saddened as he helped, using the pad of his thumb.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed. “I don’t mean to cry. It’s just so much. The lingerie…the boots,
either would have been more than enough. I don’t know what to say here. What to do. Thank you isn’t enough.”
Leaning down, he stole a long kiss. The dimple
s in his cheeks deepened as he tipped his forehead against hers and smiled. “You don’t get it do you?” he asked softly. “This is my way of thanking you. You’ve brought meaning to my life—given it purpose. For the first time in a long time, there is a sense of light to balance the dark.” He shook his head, slowly against hers. “I would give you the world if I could, and it still wouldn’t be enough, Taylor. It would never be enough. I love you.”
The truth and
simple sincerity of those last three words hit harder than she ever could’ve imagined. Clinging to him, she kissed him deeply. Every part of her heart and soul ached, straining to be with his, as if the barriers of flesh and bone between them was too much. When she finally managed to pull back, her knees trembled and the air left her lungs in a breathless whisper. “I love you, too.”
Smiling, Sebastian pushed the car door shut and then turned to scoop her into his arms. “Let’s get you out of this cold and back in bed where you belong.”
The thread of his fingers through hers was comforting and assuring. Clad in a sweeping black dress coat
and charcoal scarf, Sebastian looked dashing, but the matching knit hat tugged down over his ears lent him an innocent and almost playful look. Taylor glanced up at his gentle squeeze and smiled. It had been a perfect day, a perfect evening in so many ways. Both her heart and stomach were full. The cold didn’t matter. Nothing did but the quiet serenity of the moment and the touch of his hand. She felt so proud to be his and so safe at his side. He pulled her closer, tucking her against him as they crossed the street. Sucking in a sharp breath of delight, she took in the sparkling white lights adorning the trees and lampposts winding around the lake. They reflected off the thin sheet of ice, shimmering like trapped stars beneath the surface.
Stepping behind her, Sebastian wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. Seconds later, the slender tip of his nose nudged her scarf down and she shivered as he pressed the icy tip against her skin.
“So nice and hot,” he said in a husky whisper.
Catching the double implication, she giggled. “Do you ever get enough?”
She felt his chest jerk against her back.
“Of you? Never.” He kissed his way up to her ear and tugged her lobe gently between his teeth. His low chuckle rolled through her when she moaned and squirmed, trying to get away. His grip tightened, but he relented. Straightening, he gave a quiet sigh. “I wish today could last forever.”
“Can’t it?” she asked.
His laugh was muted and sad. “
No, baby. Tomorrow it’s back to work as usual. At least for a few hours. That call I had to take during dinner was Marx. He’s calling a meeting. Hopefully, everything else can wait until next year.” He paused and she felt his face turn toward hers. “How about we fly away for a few days? We can ring in New Year’s Eve anywhere you want. Paris, Rome…some hot, sunny beach where you can lay around in nothing but a skimpy bikini.”
Taylor turned to face him with an incredulous expression. Lifting her eyebrows, she pinned him with a pointed stare. “Haven’t you spent enough?”
He shrugged, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Lowering his head, he studied the sidewalk for a second before lifting his gaze back to hers. “It’s not about the money. It’s about leaving everything else behind for a while. Trust me, Taylor. My bank account isn’t hurting any.”
Reaching up, she caressed the side of his face with her gloved hand. She hated the desperation and torment suddenly clouding his eyes. They looked so wounded…almost scared. “
Seb, what’s going on?”
His chest lifted as he drew a deep breath. Placing his hand over hers, he leaned into her touch. “Nothing. Just dreading going back to the daily grind, I guess.”
“But if you have so much money, why don’t you just quit?”
He gave a dry laugh. “It doesn’t work that way in my line of work. Besides, I’d still have bills to pay. I want to build up a big enough
cushion that I can retire someday, and if we do have those kids you were talking about I’d want to make sure they’d be taken care of and get the best education possible. Maybe with all those benefits and possibilities, they could end up doing something they love. Something that makes them happy.”
She couldn’t keep the sorrow from etching her face. Pressing into him, she stared up at him for a long moment and shook her head. “What about you? I want you to be happy.”
He smiled down at her. Pulling her hand off his face, he kissed the inside of her palm. “I am happy, darling. The happiest I’ve ever been.”
Taylor watched as his mask fell back into place. All at once, the traces of doubt and vulnerability were gone. Leaning down, he brushed his lips across hers. She stood still as he claimed them slowly, then more deeply. Though her eyes were closed, she could feel
the occasional person walk by, as well as their curious stares. His hand came up to cradle her head, and she thought her knees would give out before he finally pulled back and gave both of them a chance to come up for air.
“Now,” he said, brushing the wisps of hair off her
cheek from beneath her fluffy hat, “about New Year’s…”
Sebastian stared at the woman still fast asleep in their bed. The comforter had twisted during the night, affording him a tantalizing glimpse of bare thigh. Sprawled on her stomach with one leg hooked partially over the covers, Taylor looked so peaceful and content. His heart wrenched as he resisted the urge to say goodbye or sweep the hair off her beautiful face so he could have one last look before he left. It was better this way. Easier. If he had to look into those eyes again, he might never leave. Last night had been a first in many ways. It had been the first Christmas he ever remembered truly enjoying. He’d lost himself in the warmth of the day and the woman he loved. It was also the first time he’d ever felt weakness. At least since he was a child. Standing on that bridge, he’d opened up to Taylor in ways he never saw coming. He’d allowed himself to think, to confess things about his job he had no business feeling let alone saying aloud.
He shook his head.
That kind of momentary lapse would end up costing him in more ways than one. Giving his neck a quick roll, he felt it pop. His gaze flickered back to Taylor as he adjusted his collar and straightened the tarnished silver pins adorning its lapel. His fingers stroked the cool metal outline of the skull and crossbones sitting on the left of his banded shirt collar. The right side boasted an Old English style S that was in no way a reflection of his name, only his organization. These were the only decorations—the only deviations. Everything else was straight black. He gave a wry frown. In many ways, the uniform was a true representation of the men who wore them: sleek, dark, and lethal. No mercy and no frills.
Lingering just a moment longer, he watched Taylor sleep. He wondered what she dreamt of, what sort of visions played behind her closed lids. For her sake, he prayed they were nothing like the horrors that haunted his.
He swallowed. She’d come so close to learning the truth and it’d terrified him. Taylor was the one unblemished thing in his life. She didn’t look at him like everyone else. She knew a side of him no one else ever would. He’d tried so hard to keep her and his work separate. No matter how good things were between them, he couldn’t help but wonder if she would still love him if she knew the things he had done. The things he had to do all too often. It was a risk he wasn’t willing to take. Tearing his gaze away, he pulled on his outer jacket. The soft glide of leather filled the room as he cinched his belt around the fitted waist. Blowing out a deep breath, he braced himself for what lie ahead.
Sebastian’s
face tightened as he strode down the dimly lit corridor. Emotions weren’t allowed. Anything other than rage or bloodlust was a liability in his line of work. The doubts, the secret resentment, even the guilt he’d grappled with last night were things that would get him killed. He steeled his spine and pulled the door open. Despite popular belief, there were things much worse than death, and those things waited on the other side of the door.
His pale stare flickered over the men gathered around the table, settling briefly on Dominic and Josh before shifting to Marx. The man was as big and solid as a bull and every bit as aggressive. His light chocolate skin shone beneath the lights, and a hard
gleam ignited the ebony pits of his eyes. Clenching his jaw, Sebastian held their director’s deadly glower, refusing to back down. He thought he detected a slight twitch in Marx’s lips before the man indicated to a waiting chair.
“Have a nice Christmas,
Baas?” he asked in his gruff, booming voice.
He pondered that question for a moment and
leaned against the back of his seat. “It was pleasant enough.”
“I’m glad. You never were one for small talk, but I’m going to assume you aren’t asking about mine because you already know it was shit. You gentlemen have some explaining to do.”
Sebastian donned a callous smirk. “Would this be in reference to Todd’s new and improved smile?”
Marx snorted. Though he tried to conceal it, a brief spark of appreciation illuminated his eyes. “It would.”
Sebastian shrugged. “He crossed the line. If he’s a smart man, he resigned and booked a one way ticket for an international flight.”
“Oh he is finished here, alright,” Marx snarled. “
And given the situation, he’s looking at a permanent retirement. What I want to know is why. He had potential. He could have been a valuable asset to this team.”
Josh coughed. “No offense, Marx, but that’s a crock of shit.
Baas did you a favor. The guy was stupid and reckless to boot.”
“That’s not what his IQ tests said.”
“It’s what his mouth proved. Would you play a game of grab and go with his woman?” Josh asked, jutting a thumb in Sebastian’s direction. “Or suggest that you’d like to take her for a test drive in his absence?”
Marx’s dark eyes flared. “No. No
, I would not. Is
that
what this was about?”
“
It is,” Sebastian stated. “That and his utter lack of respect in front of my team.”
“A
nd given the fact that he was a part of this team, it’s fair to say he knew better. He knows how Baas is. It’s not like the man walked into the situation blind. He even had ample opportunity to rein it in and zip it, but he kept pushing.”
“It was the holidays. I
was feeling generous,” Sebastian said with a cold smile.
“S
o I see,” Marx muttered, shaking his head. “He’s lucky to be alive. Unfortunately, that is something we will have to remedy when time allows. He’s too much of a liability now and can’t be trusted. Which brings us to our next point of discussion.”
Tension wound through Sebastian’s frame. He could feel the director’s dark stare drilling into him. Lifting his gaze, he met the man’s eyes calmly though his stomach churned. A
cold prickle danced across the nape of his neck, and the temperature in the room seemed to plummet several degrees. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. He could only pray it didn’t involve Taylor.
“It’s come to my attention that there was an unpleasant
outburst Christmas Eve aimed at you and several members of this team. Explain yourself, Baas. Explain to me how it is your sister-in-law knows these things let alone feels at liberty enough to discuss them. Perhaps I am mistaken here, but it was my understanding you intended to keep your family separate from your career.”
Bracing his elbow on the arm of the chair, Sebastian ran his forefinger across
his lip several times before speaking. The ball of dread in his stomach tightened like a hangman’s noose. His eyes drifted shut for a brief moment. Natalie had backed him into a corner this time. There would be no pleasant outcomes.
“That was my intention, yes,” he stated quietly. “Unfortunately, other situations arose. She overheard a conversation several years ago and has been holding onto that information ever since.”
Marx nodded. Leaning back in his seat, he folded his arms against the thick expanse of his chest. There was no sympathy or understanding on his face. Only cold, hard accusations.
“
I see. The how doesn’t matter, Sebastian. The fact is she talked. There are rules, protocol to be followed in these types of situations, and you are as aware of them as any. If she felt comfortable enough to spew that level of venom in your home and make those sorts of claims against my men, I would say there is a very definite problem.”
Numbness swept through him. Clenching and unclenching the muscles in his jaw, Sebastian kept his attention focused on the table in front of him. He could feel Josh’s weighted stare, as well as Marx’s riding his shoulders. He let his eyes drift
shut for the briefest of seconds, struggling to get his emotions back under control. Deep down, he’d known this was coming. He’d known and dreaded it clear down to his core. His head shook in a silent inner plea, and for a moment, he feared he would break. Beside him, Marx shifted his muscled girth in his chair making it creak in protest.