Silver-Tongued Devil (31 page)

“Thanks, Sabina.” She paused, biting her lip. “I know you and I have had our problems, but I just want you to know that I respect the hell out of you.”

I swallowed the lump of emotion in my throat. Praises of my own rose to my tongue, but I knew it cost Mac a lot of pride to say what she had. Adding to the lovefest would only make her more uncomfortable. So instead, I just smiled. “Ditto, werebitch.”

Something shifted in the air. I looked around. Every were I saw looked up toward the moon. Crap. They were all about to change. “Mackenzie!” Michael growled.

Mac grabbed me in a hard, impulsive hug. I squeezed her back, hoping to lend her some of my own strength. “Take care of yourself,” I whispered. “Don’t let them break you.”

A round of growls emerged from somewhere within the crowd. Every were in sight was already in the throes of the change. “Get out of here,” Mac said. “I can’t do this if you’re watching.” With that, she ran back to the stage and jumped up.

I rushed over and grabbed Adam by the arm. “Let’s go.”

All around us, the werewolves growled as their bodies contorted. The sickening sound of joints popping to accommodate their new forms echoed like gunshots. Onstage, Mac had fallen to her knees. Her face stretched grotesquely as a muzzle grew where her mouth used to be. She howled, lifting her misshapen face to the moon. Unlike the joyful shouts of her brethren, hers was filled with mourning.

Adam wrapped his arms around me and began whispering the spell. Over his shoulder, I couldn’t help but stare at Mac.

Her eyes glowed gold. She rose to her new height, topping six feet easily. Her body had expanded to twice its normal size. She raised her arms to the sky and howled her anger. She started to run toward the edge of the stage. She was about to leap off like she intended to run, but an impossibly large male with a skunk streak grabbed her from behind. Logan. He sunk his huge teeth into her neck and bent her over.

The magic rose just as Mac’s terrible growl ripped through the night. I closed my eyes. Hot tears leaked from my clenched lids. The air popped and the wind rose. Finally, we escaped.

28

A
dam flashed us back to our apartment. After the turmoil of the scene we had just left, the silence smothered us. The only sounds were our panting breaths and the pounding of my heart in my ears. I was pressed against Adam’s chest, clinging to him like a drowning woman on a buoy.

The winds of interspatial travel had dried my tears into stinging tracks on my cheeks. Adam’s heart thumped against my ear. My own chest felt tight, oxygen hard to come by. Rage and pain rose inside me like a tempest. The feelings overwhelmed me until I felt I needed to hit something or burst.

Adam tipped my chin up. “You okay?” he whispered.

I shook my head, unable to speak. Part of me wanted to run from him, to find someone to punch. He must have recognized the need in my eyes. He’d seen it there countless times before during battles and heartache. I tensed to pull away from the intimacy. I felt too raw and exposed. Too unpredictable.

Sensing I was about to retreat, he tightened his hold. I looked up into his eyes and stilled. His irises glowed with strong feelings of his own. Just as he’d recognized the emotions in me, I knew his, too. We stood there like that, the weight of our feelings and regrets hovering in the slim space between our faces.

I’m not sure who moved first. But two seconds later, we slammed into each other like a head-on collision. Need prevented the reunion from being sweet or gentle. Our hands groped for fastenings, ripping at buttons and zippers. The room filled with our harsh, mingled breaths and the sounds of ripping fabric.

We were wild things, unleashed. Alternately pleasuring and punishing each other. I wasn’t sure which I preferred but it didn’t really matter. All I cared about was the release and the miracle of being close to Adam again. I couldn’t get close enough, though. I needed more.

Somehow we ended up on the floor, even though the couch was only a few steps away. We couldn’t wait for comfort. Didn’t need it. Our skin slicked with sweat, we glided against each other with fevered movements. Soon, but not soon enough, he reared up over me and drove into my core. My back arched to meet his punishing thrusts. Nails dug half-moons into his back, drawing blood. He groaned and strained to go deeper, as if he could fill me with his whole self.

I wanted him to.

But I wasn’t content to lie submissive. Not this time. Wrapping a leg around his flank, I flipped him over. His back hit the hardwood with a slap. I clasped him between my thighs and rode him hard. His eyes glowed with an emotion so strong it burned me—love, hate, both?

I bent over him and kissed his mouth. His whiskers rubbed my skin raw but his tongue was soft and hot. I sucked on him, nipped his lip with my fang. The taste of his mouth and the metallic flavor of his blood nearly sent me over the edge. Hunger rose in me like a beast, demanding to be sated.

I wasn’t thinking. Instinct ruled now. And the need to feed from my lover was stronger than I’d ever experienced. It had been months since I’d fed from Adam in that cramped bedroom in New Orleans the first time we’d made love. But now I took the bridle off the hunger I thought I’d tamed.

My tongue lapped the hot skin over his jugular. The taste of his salty skin and the scent of fresh blood made my eyes cross. I slammed my fangs into his throat like a snake strike. Adam’s sweet, hot blood flooded my mouth. I was so drunk on him that I didn’t realize he’d gone still.

“No!” His hips bucked and his hands pushed me off him. I fell to the floor, dazed. Cold air hit me like a slap in the face.

His sudden anger stunned me. “Wha—”

He jumped up and loomed over me, naked and furious. “What the fuck, Sabina?”

I licked my lips. They were wet with his blood. Suddenly ashamed, I wiped the damning evidence away. “I just—” I was confused and the haze of hunger and desire addled my brain. “I wanted you.”

“You were feeding from me like an animal!”

My mouth fell open. What the hell just happened? “What? Why are you so angry? I’ve fed from you before.”

He ran a hand through his hair. He was so tense, his biceps bulged. “Before, you asked first. Besides, you haven’t done it in months.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t think. Gods, Sabina, I’m not a fucking blood dispenser.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest. “I wouldn’t have done it if I thought you’d be angry.”

“Bullshit,” he said. “You were out of control and you know it.”

I rose slowly, my hands shaking with anger. How dare he act like I was the only one carried away? He’d been rough with me, too. “Look, I apologize for biting you. But you know damned well that sex and blood go together for me. I haven’t bitten you in months and I resent the implication that I’m some sort of monster. You were as into that as I was. The only difference is you don’t have fangs.”

He crossed his arms. “Here we go again. Sabina’s using her vampire nature as an excuse for poor decisions.”

I reared back, stung by his tone and his attitude. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He laughed, a hard, cold sound. “Let’s just acknowledge the demon in the room, shall we? We both know you believe your little escapade with Slade was a result of your struggle to control your vampire side.”

My mouth fell open. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Adam. If you’d given me a chance to discuss this like two rational adults, you’d know that had nothing to do with it.”

He raised a challenging brow. “Enlighten me, then.”

If I hadn’t been so hurt and angry, I would have found the fact that we were arguing naked humorous. But considering how exposed I felt emotionally, the nudity seemed somehow fitting.

Memories of that week in October flooded my mind. I’d gone over and over my reasons for turning to Slade. At first, sure, I’d justified my actions, claiming I’d been emotional and confused. But eventually, the ugly truth became apparent. I’d stuffed it down, believing it didn’t really matter anymore, since Adam and I were happy now. Or were happy before the truth came out. But now I couldn’t avoid opening that secret box and exposing my true motivations and let the cards fall where they may.

“Where were you, Adam?” I said, my voice cracking. “Why didn’t you come find me after Maisie helped me out of that cell? Or for that matter, why didn’t you step in when Orpheus accused me of killing Hawthorne Banathsheh in cold blood?”

Hawthorne Banathsheh was an ambassador for Queen Maeve, sent to the mage Council to oversee negotiating an alliance against the vampires when war seemed inevitable. Unknown to the Queen and the Council, Banathsheh also belonged to the Caste of Nod. He’d attacked me and almost managed to end me before I used my Chthonic magic to turn him into a faery briquette. At first, given my violent background, Orpheus believed I’d murdered the fae in cold blood and thus ruined any chance of the Queen upholding the alliance. Adam tried to defend me, but in the end, he backed down when Orpheus threatened to kick him out of the Pythian Guard.

Adam’s mouth snapped shut and his cheeks went red. “What does that have to do with this?”

My hands shook as I gave voice to the resentment I’d ignored for all this time. “You let Orpheus call me a murderer and stick me in that fucking prison cell. Maisie freed me and sent me to Slade for help since I had no other options. I waited for you to show up, but you didn’t. And don’t tell me Maisie didn’t tell you where I was. You had to know.”

“I fought for you! I told Orpheus there had to be an explanation—”

“I saw the doubt in your eyes,” I interrupted, my voice shaking. “Knew that you believed I’d really killed the faery for my own selfish reasons. And then you backed down just like you always do where Orpheus is concerned.”

“You wanted me to choose you over the man who raised me?” he roared. “We weren’t even together then!”

I tilted my head. “Exactly. We weren’t together. A fact made more apparent when you didn’t come find me. When I turned to Slade, I honestly felt I had no one else in the world. He was there for me. You weren’t.”

Adam came up short. The room was silent and tense for a moment while that sank in. “I did what I thought was best at the time,” he began slowly. “I knew that once Orpheus calmed down, he’d listen to reason. And I didn’t come for you because Maisie said you needed some time to sort through everything that had happened.” He blew out a breath. “You can build my mistakes up as justification for your own. You can claim you were upset and turned to the closest warm body. But we both know the truth, Sabina. You didn’t sleep with Slade because you needed comfort. You slept with him because you needed an excuse to run.”

“But I didn’t!” I yelled. “I didn’t run. I came back and helped fight.”

“I wasn’t talking about running from the mages. I was talking about running from
this
mage.” He hit his chest with a thumb. “You were running because you were too scared to let yourself be happy with me.”

I looked the man I loved in the eyes. “But that was months ago, Adam. I’m with you now. That has to mean more than a stupid mistake I made before we were together. I have no interest in Slade.”

“I know. He told me as much when I talked to him last night.”

“So you believe Slade but not me?” My mouth fell open. “Why was my word not enough?”

“That’s the thing, Red. I would have gotten over you fucking Slade eventually. I know you don’t love him.”

“So what’s the problem?” I cried, throwing my hands up in frustration.

“The problem is that you lied to me. Back then, I would have understood because I knew you were struggling to overcome your dark side. But now?” He ran a frustrated hand over his face and tried to get a handle on his temper. “You had a chance to come clean less than a week ago. Instead, you lied to my face. If our time together had really changed you, you would have told me the truth.”

I paused as what he said sunk in. “That’s the real problem, isn’t it?” I shook my head as everything finally clicked. He raised a brow, waiting for me to continue. “Ever since we met, you’ve wanted me to change. To become some sort of Stepford mage. You like to pretend that my vampire side is a shameful part of me that I can flip on and off like a switch. But guess what, Adam? Like it or not, I am a vampire. My past really happened and it’s as part of me as my fangs.”

“You’re not just a vampire, Sabina. You’re also a mage. And for the most part, you’ve managed to be more mage than vamp over the last several months. That’s why I got so upset when you bit me. You lost control.”

I shook my head sadly. “You don’t get it. The more I’ve pushed down that side of me, the less me I’ve become. The more I try to ignore the bloodlust and the darker sides of myself, the more they rear up and demand to be noticed. Just like when I ignored my mage side in L.A. and I was so out of balance. It’s not about choosing one part of me over the other. I am both light and dark.” My heart kicked up as the truth of that statement sunk in. “I have made mistakes. And I should have told you about Slade earlier. But the real issue here is that you can’t accept me for who I really am. Fangs, magic, and all.”

A muscle worked in his jaw. “Fangs, magic, and
lies
, you mean. You can try to make this about poor little Sabina being misunderstood because she’s a mixed blood, but this is really about you not being able to be honest with me—or yourself.”

“That’s not fair. After everything we’ve been through together, I deserve more credit than that. I have never lied to you except about Slade. And I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t worried about hurting you. I love you, Adam.” He shied away, as if the words stung. But I forged ahead. “Do you love me?”

His eyes hardened. “How can you ask me that? Of course I love you.”

I looked into his green eyes. The same eyes that used to wink at me and crinkle at the corners when he’d laugh with me. Now they just looked tired. “I’m the first to admit I don’t have a lot of experience with love. But it seems that if you love someone, then you should love all of them. If you can’t love all of me”—my voice cracked—“then I don’t know if we can be together.”