Shoot for the Moon (Black River Pack Book 2) (6 page)

“You don’t know that!” I cried out.

Spencer tugged on my arms and pulled me onto his lap. Then he waited until he was staring in my eyes before he spoke. “There isn’t anything in this world, nothing you could do, nothing anyone else could ever do, that would make me turn from you.”

I melted at his words and my eyes slid closed. “Oh, Spencer,” I sighed.

“Look at me,” he ordered as he gripped my chin so I would gaze up at him again. “I love you, Eliza. I didn’t admit it to myself when we started our affair, but I loved you then. And I will love you until the day I die. The day you believe that with all your heart? That’s when I want to mark you, and not a moment before. Because I know that day will come. I don’t have any doubts.”

His faith in me was humbling. I could see it shining from his eyes. So I simply nodded in agreement and snuggled closer to him while I hoped that day came soon.

****

The next month flew by in a whirlwind of preparations for the marriage of Grace to our alpha. I had been surprised when she’d asked me to be her only bridesmaid. Any of the she-wolves in the pack would have been honored to have the privilege, but there was a bond between the two of us. One that was most likely formed because we’d both faced such difficulties in our lives.

It was because of that friendship that I found myself dressed in a deep-purple bridesmaid dress as I helped her get ready after having spent most of my night decorating the arch in the garden with flowers. Sneaking out of my own cabin after she’d fallen asleep hadn’t been easy, but after my dream from the night before, I’d known that it had to be done. Everything needed to be perfect for Grace and Hunter today.

Grace stood before me in her wedding gown, and as happy as I was that she had found such amazing happiness with Hunter, I was also jealous. Not only had he mated, marked, and claimed her, he was now marrying her as well. She would never have any reason to be uncertain about her importance in his life—like the kind of doubts my damn dreams had given me and were
still
giving me.

Some of what I was feeling must have shown in my expression, because Grace paused in lowering the veil over her face and motioned me closer. Then she held her hands out to me when I was standing in front of her.

“You can have this, too. You know that right?”

I shook my head sadly. “I don’t know. My future with Spencer isn’t as certain as yours with Hunter.”

She sighed in exasperation. “From what Hunter’s told me, it doesn’t work like that. Yeah, sure. I’ll admit that relationships are work, even for fated mates. But I haven’t heard of a single mated couple who didn’t stand the test of time. Why would it be any different for you?”

“But my dreams—” I protested.

“Aren’t always true, Eliza,” she said, finishing my statement differently than I had planned. “Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe you’re turning them into a self-fulfilling prophecy by keeping Spencer at arm’s length? That, if you make him wait long enough, he will eventually become angry and bitter and turn away from you?”

I hadn’t ever thought about it that way.
Was it possible?
Spencer had done everything in his power over the last six months to show me he wasn’t going anywhere. He hadn’t run when he hadn’t known what was stopping me from accepting his mark, and he hadn’t balked when I’d told him about my dreams of him.

“So I’m guessing by the look on your face you hadn’t ever considered it?” Grace asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Not until just now. No,” I admitted.

Her eyes lit with joy. “Then my job here is done! Let’s go get me married to that gorgeous man of mine.”

I was dazed as Parker came for Grace so he could walk her down the aisle. He gave me a strange look, and Grace just shook her head as a warning to leave me alone for now. Once she was ready to go, Parker offered me his other arm and walked us both to the sliding glass door off the kitchen.

When the music changed, I stepped outside and my eyes immediately locked with Spencer’s. My step almost faltered when I saw his love for me shining bright for everyone to see. Then I made my way down the aisle to stand under the arch on the bride’s side, waiting for Grace to join me.

I knew I should have been watching her as she walked towards us, but my gaze kept straying to Spencer. And each time I did, I found his eyes on me. I couldn’t help but think that, if I let go of my fears, this could be us. We could be the couple everyone else looked at with tears in their eyes because of how perfect we were together. We could be fully mated with a claiming this next full moon if I truly believed that Spencer loved me with all of his heart and would never willingly leave me until his death.

And then Grace reached us and Parker took her hand and placed it in Hunter’s, giving away the bride to his brother. I saw Hunter lean down to kiss Grace’s cheek, and then his head jerked up so he could look into her eyes. When Grace whispered to him, his eyes widened before he turned his head to look back at Parker. Then as he swiveled back to his bride, his eyes locked with mine for a brief moment.

I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face at the vision of the two of them under the arch of flowers as our alpha learned he would be a father. It was exactly as I had dreamed it two nights ago.

As I stood beside Grace and Hunter while they exchanged their vows, I finally accepted the possibility that Grace was right. That I was the one causing the harm in our relationship by holding on to my dreams. Her words had given me a speck of hope—one I clung to all night long as we celebrated Hunter and Grace’s marriage.

I noticed Spencer shooting me curious looks several times through the night. My best guess was that I wasn’t doing a very good job of pretending that something wasn’t on my mind. I was quieter than usual and barely touched my food as I pondered our situation. By the time we made it to the dance floor, I just wanted to be alone for a little while so I could get some real thinking done. Apparently, Spencer had other ideas about how our night should go from here—ones that included an explanation of what was wrong with me.

“You’ve barely paid any attention to me tonight,” he grumbled. “And I didn’t even get to stay with you last night because you had Grace over.”

“It was my responsibility as her bridesmaid to make this day special for her, and part of that was honoring the traditions surrounding weddings,” I explained.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I get last night, although I still don’t know why you didn’t call me for help with the flowers if you were here in the middle of the night putting them up.”

“If I’d done that, then I wouldn’t have been able to keep the secret about Grace’s pregnancy and I wanted her to be able to surprise him during the ceremony,” I explained.

Spencer pulled my body closer to his and held me tight in his arms as we stopped in the middle of the dance floor. His dark gaze was serious as he looked down at me.

“Everything went perfectly and your duties as a bridesmaid are all done. But you still aren’t really here with me right now. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, dream girl?”

I felt like everyone was watching us as we stood still. Glancing around the room, I found several pairs of eyes on us. Some were happy, like his brother’s. Some were exasperated, like the other dancers who were trying to avoid us. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught the flash of jealousy and anger that was quickly masked by another she-wolf before she looked away. Having Spencer in my arms was certainly worthy of envy in the single women here tonight.

“Not here,” I whispered. “I haven’t really slept in days. Let me get some rest tonight and I promise we’ll talk tomorrow.”

Disappointment spread across his face. “One of us is running away from the other in this relationship, Eliza. But it isn’t me.”

I knew he was right, but I needed one quiet night to think about what Grace had said earlier. “But not to get away from you. Never that,” I swore.

His eyes filled with determination. “Then let me mark you, Eliza. Soon.”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” I promised again before stepping out of his arms. “After I’ve had a good night’s sleep and can make a rational decision about this.”

Chapter 5

Spencer

Eliza didn’t need to make a rational decision about my marking her. She needed to trust her heart and our feelings for each other, but her head was so messed up because of those damn dreams that she had convinced herself that I didn’t really want her. Not that I’d helped the situation much with how we’d started. I’d created this mess by feeding into her insecurities, and now, it was my job to convince her that I was in this for the long haul.

For the last month, I’d tried to balance Grace and Hunter’s advice without coming across too strongly, but I was done with that now. It was time to “man the fuck up,” as Hunter had put it. It had worked to get her to tell me about her dreams, so maybe it would work to get her to finally believe that I would be her mate forever.

When we had stood at the altar with my brother and Grace for their wedding, the sense of wrongness had overwhelmed me. Six months had passed since the night I’d whispered the mating words to her, and enough was fucking enough. Come hell or high water, by the end of tonight, Eliza would have no question who she belonged to—me.

Letting myself into her home while she was asleep was probably frowned upon by most people, but did I give a fuck about what anyone else thought? Desperate times called for desperate measures. Damn woman was almost as stubborn as I was, but not quite. Whoever said that all was fair in love and war had it right. As the pack enforcer, I was more comfortable with war than love, so it was about time I used those skills to tie Eliza to me.

As quietly as possible, I crept into her bedroom and prepared for my mission. Then I settled in to wait until she stirred. But as the minutes ticked by, I began to get restless—visions of what was to come once Eliza woke up burning in my brain. Determination to tear down her walls brick by brick fueled me. Had she been awake already, my smirk would have warned her that I was up to no good. If that didn’t do it when she did wake up, then the boner from hell pressed against my pants would give my intentions away.

Standing at the foot of her bed, I waited for her eyelids to flutter open. When dreams weren’t plaguing her, she was a sound sleeper, which I’d used to my advantage well tonight. Finally, she stirred in the bed, and her eyelids popped open when she realized she couldn’t move her arms or legs.

“Hey, dream girl,” I whispered.

“What the hell, Spencer?” she spit out, the sleepiness quickly leaving her eyes as they lit with anger.

A dark chuckle escaped my lips as I walked closer. Eliza struggled against the cuffs until she finally understood that she wasn’t going to break free from them. The sheet slipped off her body and revealed her naked flesh to my starving eyes.

“Get me out of these. Now!” she barked at me, her eyes gleaming in the dark.

“No,” I hissed out.

“What the fuck, Spencer? I know I passed out from exhaustion, but I’m not so tired that I can believe I fell asleep naked. And I sure as hell didn’t put these handcuffs on myself. Why are you doing this to me?” she wailed.

I stared into her eyes as I pulled my bow tie from my collar and dropped it on the floor. Then I slowly unbuttoned my crisp, white dress shirt and tossed it onto the chair where I’d flung my tuxedo jacket earlier. Kneeling on the end of the bed, I ran my hands up her legs until I almost reached her glistening pussy lips. I could hear Eliza’s breathing as it quickened with desire, but I wasn’t ready to give in to our need for each other yet. I needed to get some things straight with her first.

“Six months,” I growled. “It’s been six pain-fucking-stakingly long months since I mated you, my dream girl.”

“Spencer!” Eliza gasped out with sorrow in her eyes.

“No!” I barked out, placing my finger over her mouth to stop her words. “I know the dreams have made you terrified. I know you don’t mean to hurt me, but I need you to tell me what I can do to make you see I will never turn away from you. Never!”

“I can’t explain what it’s like to see the man I love look at me the way you do in the dreams. Every time it happens, it kills me to see it. I can’t imagine what I would do if it were real,” I tried to explain.

“Don’t you see, Eliza? That’s exactly how I feel. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do or say. You just won’t let that final wall between us come tumbling down. I know I fucked up badly when we met. I was a stupid motherfucker when I told you we would never be more than casual lovers. But I mated you knowing you weren’t ready to accept my mark. I gave you months of space when you needed it. I’ve wooed you with dates and presents. Haven’t I paid enough already?”

Eliza shook her head wildly. “No, that’s not what it is at all. I’m not trying to punish you for what happened between us.”

“I made a commitment to you six months ago, Eliza. I did it knowing I was taking a huge risk because you weren’t ready yet. But that didn’t stop the way I felt about you. You’re my mate. Forever. I will never denounce you for another woman because there will never be another woman for me. And it’s killing me to know that, even though I tied myself to you so many months ago, you’re still not willing to let me mark you.”

“But what if you change your mind later?” she whispered.

“You know me better than that. Look me in the eyes and think about it. Don’t let your fear ruin this for us. You know your visions are only one possible version of the future. Do you really think I will ever willingly walk away from you?” I asked.

She tilted her head as she stared at me, and slowly, the fear in her eyes gave way to hope. “I think Grace may have been right,” she whispered almost to herself.

“Right about what?”

“I’m the one in control of my future. Not my dreams. I helped change Grace’s fate by telling Hunter about my dream of her. And if I continue to push you away, then I might just be the one who’s responsible for making my dreams about us come true,” she answered.