Shimmers & Shrouds (Abstruse) (23 page)

I remembered the times when she played with her hair just before scolding me. “
You know, I never told you this but I love your hair, and the way you behave. You remind me of my mom.”

Taking a curl in my finger I tucked it behind her ears. The eyeliner she’d applied was marred. She had been crying
secretly and Theo missed it. The wretched feelings got better of me. I continued speaking to her in my gruff voice. “Did you cry today? Looks like you did huh? Then why are you looking so unruffled now? Does that mean you’re not dreaming of me? I’m glad that at least in dreams, you are in a better place, somewhere you are happy. Oceana Viera, lady of principles, what made you drink when you were so against alcohol? I am the reason for this reckless behaviour of yours, right?

I told you that you were nothing more than a toy and it kills me every single second.
But how can I tell you the truth? How can I let you cling on to me when I am not strong enough to stand on my own? Tell me. If it were you, wouldn’t you have done the same thing? You would have. I know, because you love me as much I do. I did this so you can let go off me, because instead of you hurting―”

I couldn’t contain the tears anymore. Teary eyed, I carried on. “I
nstead of you hurting, its better that I hurt. Forget me and live happily because I am not worth your memories.”

I traced
the deep cuts that she made with the glass piece on her wrist. She hadn’t taken care of the wound. It had swelled.

“
Take good care of yourself. Don’t break things when you’re angry. Keep the keys of your house with you, not under the eaves. Don’t drink now, and  go to the orphanage more often. Date Theo, he is a better man. Let people make you laugh. Be brave… don’t be in pain, Miss Viera. It will hurt me to see you in pain anymore. You deserve to be happy.”

I was gazing at the pictures of her that I'd taken. I'd been doing that all night, even when I was with Diane. Mr. Sunross arrived with the morning tea, as usual, but didn't wish me today. I ignored it as well.

While he prepared the tea for me, I continued to admire the pictures. Her smile really did lighten the background. The smile that was now a mere impossibility. Will she ever smile now?
"I was afraid of this. I've ruined her, Mr. Sunross, I don't think she's ever going to forgive me for this." I murmured, still looking at her picture where she was teasing me by sticking out her tongue.
"She will, in time. Sir, it’s been such an honor to know you thoroughly, and she knows how much you love her. She will realize it someday that all you did was just to make her life less miserable, not caring about how you will end up being tormented."
"I hope she doesn't." Tears were now brimming in my eyes; I looked up to meet his gaze. "I hope she doesn't realize anything like this. If she's going to think of me as a player, I'm fine with it as long as she is going to forget everything about me and start anew." With that last sentence, I knew I'd sealed my fate along with her's. I deleted the entire folder that had her photos and our videos, hoping that she could erase everything about us from her mind this easily.
Grandma had assigned me the job of preparing a speech for yet another charity event, so I was caught up behind the desk to do something that I was so not good at.
After the lunch, I resumed my work, writing down a complete speech and tearing it, then writing it again and tearing it yet again. No wonder the break up thing was truly new to me, but it messed up with my brain and that was unimaginable.
I was drafting a new speech when my phone buzzed to life. It was Theo calling me.
"Hi."
"I want to see you orpheus."
What? No greetings? Is this guy in his senses?
"I'm a bit busy with some work Theo, what is it?"
"I want to meet you."
His grave tone indicated towards something negative. My dark mood suffered a rapid downfall to the darkest.
"Is everything fine? How's oceana?" I asked, concerned. I hope she was fine.
"O-" He emphasized, it was a harsh voice addressing a tender angel. "is good. I need you to meet me. It is more than urgent."
I sighed. O... That's what her friends called her. she was Oceana Veira for others, O for people she considered to be her friends , but for me,she was my Pearl, how would I be able to admit this to Theo?
"Okay. Give me a proper time and place. I'll come."
"The backyard of my farm house, at five in the evening."
"I'll be there." I confirmed.
I waited at the backyard of his luxurious outhouse. There was not much time for me to spare and he was taking too long to arrive at the time he'd felt sure to show up at.

I was
about to leave when I saw him walking towards me, he’s pace wasn’t the normal kind and he looked… grim.
“What’s with you and the time?” I barked at him for the answer but he landed a punch right on my nose.
" You fucked her?" seething, he demanded the answer to an impossible question like that.

Oh Fuck!

I lifted my hands up in an attempt to stop him. “Listen to―”

Before I could finish, another punch landed on the same spot.
“And you lied to me? How could you fuck her, bastard?"
"Theo."
" Shut the fucking trap, asshole."

This was the extent to which he could go for Pearl.
"Please." I begged.

He kicked me in the shin and I landed on my back with a sore pain.
"You've ruined her. She's fucking lifeless. What did you do? Sucked the life out of her with your mouth?"

Since I was at fault here, my job was to take the beatings and answer him. Getting beaten by a twenty year old didn’t suit me at all.
“It’s nothing like that. Let me explain.”
“Explain?” he punched me again, enraged to an unimaginable limit. “Explain my ass. You used me. You fucked the girl I love, and now that she is..... you want to show her how much you care about her? As if she will come running back to you?"
"I don't want her to come back, Theo."
"I won't let her even if you want her to. You had no fucking right to destroy her."
"I know." I coughed up some blood. It hurt me pretty bad there.
“You know. You knew. Why the fuck did you then?"

I noticed that he stopped with the third degree treatment.
“Are you done?" I asked.
“No. But you're bleeding."
“Your courtesy." I mouthed.
“Shut the fuck up, Orpheus. You deserve to die. And I won't regret doing it on my own."

My patience gave way. I yelled at him with all the strength I could muster.
“I am fucking dead already, Theodore."
“What?”
“I don't want to live. I'm through with everything. Kill me please.”

He rolled his eyes at me.
“Get up.”

I struggled to get back up. My body was aching from all the kicks that he’d delivered.
“I am going to marry your sister, Theo. Against my will. That is because I love Oceana."
“So you fucked her?"
"Can you stop saying that?" I asked, irritated.
“She loved you and you FUCKED her."
"I love her."
"You don't. I love her. She loves you. You love yourself. This is how it is. I don't wanna listen to the crap you're going to spit. I'm not going to be with her now. She's old enough to take care of herself. She's strong for that."
"She isn't. You don't know a thing."

He scoffed at me.
"As if you know everything."
This might hurt his pride but this was true. “I do.”
"Can you just... just shut up?"
"She is heart broken, Theo."
"She has set herself up for it. She is strong enough to survive the pain that comes with it.”

"Don't leave h
er alone."

That was when she pounded a punch on my nose, again.
"I'm not your fucking servant. Stay away from my sister."
"Theo―"
" Fuck off." He stomped off not bothering to listen to my plea.
"Please." I was left there, on the ground, begging for her, for me… to no avail.
 

I asked Mr. Sunross to invite all my friends and make arrangements for the party. I desperately needed to stay away from her memories and this was the best way― to do what she hated the most.

I went to the night club after a long time. Everything had changed since then, my reasons to be here were the first ones in the list.

In the dark room with disco lights and a hundred people dancing, I found myself alone. I couldn’t hear the music, just her laugh. Her face was all what I could see. I was intoxicated by her, not the rum…. or rye.

“Orpheus?”

After six pegs, even the voice of other girls sounded like hers. I narrowed my eyes to see the speaker but the alcohol had blurred my senses.

“Pearl?” I mumbled.

“Who?” It sounded like her voice― Diane’s.

“What are you doing? I didn’t call you or your brother. Go away, wifey.” I cringed at the last
word. I hated this word now.

“You’re back as your old self. Huh?”

My veins experienced the long suppressed anger. She was the girl who made me give up on my Pearl. The witch, the demon in a girl.

“You should be happy about it then. I’m back for you. I am back because you wanted me for a long long time. Didn’t you, Diane Connors?”

“Are you okay Orpheus?” She placed her hands on my shoulders. I shook it off.

“No, I am not okay, Diane Connors. You wanted me by your side forever, didn’t you? So have a look at the rea
l me you’re going to deal with.” I pointed at myself, perfect from the outside, except for a cut or two which his brother made to mark the valour; scarred from the inside. A scar that was going to remain forever. “This is who I am. This, whatever you’re looking at right now is my life. I hate kids, so I’ll make sure you won’t get pregnant. I hate you Diane Connors, because you are what my mighty grandma chose for me. I never wanted you.”

I pushed her away. “Get lost. I don’t want to see you.”

I stumbled my way back to the car and asked my driver to report immediately.
“I am going to forget what you just said, Orpheus.” The familiar words stupefied me. I turned round, all the blood from my body was evaporated. “ It isn’t that hard. But can’t you say that you will try to love me, just for my sake? I can live with the fact that you tried. Please?” she sobbed.

Her words reflected the pearls of my life. They reflected her. How was I going to hate this girl standing in front of me when she reflected her in everything she did? This girl who had ruined my life forever?

“Diane ―”

That was when her phone buzzed. She picked it up and cautiously. Her eyes enlarged in horror and she looked at me, repetitively. She wheezed and hung up.

“I got to go. I’ll call you later because I need to talk things out before our marriage. If I’d known that”

She hurried back towards her car.
 

“W
here?”

“I’ll tell you later. Bye.”

I held her by the wrist, tight enough for her to wince in pain. “What’s wrong? Who was it?”

“
It’s personal. Leave me, Orpheus.”

“Tell me damnit. Your personal matters are mine too. We are going to get married, remember?”

“Theo’s girlfriend has met with an accident. She is serious. He has asked me to come over there. It is all media frenzy thing. Let go now.” I left her hand in an instant. I felt my world stop at once.
“You― do you mean… Oceana?”

“Yes.”